Once upon the time there was a very a stupid slayer. And this very stupid slayer had a very stupid boyfriend. Tsk, tsk, have to fix that . . .
Okay, that warped attempt at a story is not the story. The story is actually stupider than that. It's bad on purpose. So here it is, Buffy the Ditz Slayer . . . You have to read it with a total valley girl accent, you know? Feedback is like so appreciated! Only don't tell me it's bad cuz duh it's like supposed to be! So like bye!

Okay, like once upon a time, there was this girl you know? And this girl she used to slay vampires cuz you know that's so cool for blondes to do. So this girl one day she sorta woke up and discovered that she'd turned into a ditz! Well, like oh my god! She leaped to her feet joyfully, forgetting all about Angle in her newfound ditziness! She ran downstairs and found her fishface boyfriend! How odd is that? So then Ditz and Fishboy had a catfight for like totally no reason at all! Ditz won because out of nowhere Riley was sporked to death! What the heck? Ditz girl wondered. Where did fishkisser go? She stood there stupidly, looking like such a dumb blonde! Then like all of a sudden Angle stepped out! And he was so totally in broad daylight! And he was holding a bloody spork!

"Angle!" Ditz cried. "Oh my god! Like so totally how are you in the sun?"

"I have no idea," Angle said. "But let's just go with the flow!" He looked at the audience. "And you should too."

Ditz leaped up and down for gleeful gleefulness, then she kissed Angle passionately. In that moment Ditz totally went back to being Buffy! COOL! And far away, an acid tripping Joss man dropped dead! Even cooler!

The End of the Marvelous Tale of Buffy, the Ditz Slayer

Send feedback to Amber

Back to the Fanfiction Archive