"Um ... yeah," Nick finally replied looking rather confused and stunned.

Releasing the breath, Angel relaxed.  "Thanks," he replied and took a drink of his beer.

Nick’s look of confusion didn’t leave.  He looked restlessly around the interior of Jack’s.  "Mind if I ask you a question?" he said after several moments.

"No," Angel answered honestly.

"You have friends in L.A., right?  Wesley and Cordelia ... mom mentioned them a couple of times, I take it they used to live in Sunnydale."

"Yes," Angel replied slowly.  "We used to run a detective agency together, along with our other partner, Gunn."

Nodding slowly, Nick opened and closed his mouth several times before finally saying, "So why didn’t you ask one of them to be your best man?  I mean ... I guess I just thought you’d want someone you have an important relationship with standing up for you."

"An important relationship?" Angel asked in disbelief.

Nick nodded, "Well ... yeah."

"You don’t consider the fact that you’re my son to be an important relationship?"

Backtracking, Nick said, "That’s not what I meant, it’s just that we don’t really know each other and ... "

"And?" Angel prompted, not willing to let it slide.

Nick took a deep breath and tried to verbalize what he was feeling without sounding like a total prick.  "It’s just that you and mom are starting over again – you know, clean slate.  You’re getting married, trying to have another kid ... "

Angel looked at his son, understanding the source of his turmoil, but not knowing what to do about it.  What did he know about being a father?  His relationship with his own father had been horrid at best, ending with him murdering the man.  Not exactly a good reference point for his relationship with Nick.

"Nick," Angel said slowly, "your mother and I will never have a clean slate.  We’re starting over, true, but we have a very long past together.  Neither of us is trying to forget that.  We both made a lot of mistakes."

Angel stopped, considering his next words carefully.  "You’re a man, I know that, but you’re also my son.  I know that I missed *so* much with you and that just kills me inside.  Your mother tells me stories, shows me pictures, but it only reminds me of how much I wasn’t there.  I would do anything to go back and do it over again, to not throw so much of my life, to be there to watch you grow up, but I can’t.  I want to get to know you.  I want a relationship with you.  Even if you decide that you don’t want one and you never speak to me again, you’ll still be the most important thing in my life."

Nick blinked several times and took a swallow of his drink, his eyes burning.  There were several people in the bar that he knew and what the hell would they think if he started crying while having a beer with his mom’s fiancé?

Angel looked at his son carefully.  He was still amazed by what a mix of himself and Buffy the boy was.  He was tall with dark hair like Angel, but he had his mother’s eyes and her golden skin.  As far as his personality, Angel had no idea where he’d gotten that.  Nicholas had things far more "together" than either him or Buffy could ever dream of being.

Making sure Nick had time to regain his composure, Angel continued, "Your mother and I want to try and have another child, but not to replace you."

The former vampire laughed and said wryly, "We’re so damn old we don’t even know if we’ll be able to have one."

Nick laughed and said, "You guys aren’t *that* old."

"No," Angel said with a wave, "I’ll just be using a walker to get to this kid’s high school graduation.  No problem there."

Nick laughed and admitted, "Yeah, it could be a little odd."

"The point is," Angel said, "we’re trying to have another child because it seems like the right thing for us to do now.  We may be able to have one, we may not, but regardless, you’ll always be the first and we’ll always love you.  I can’t ever make up for all the time I lost, but I’d like to try and know you now."

"Will," Buffy whined into the phone, "what am I going to wear?"

"White is traditional," the witch said with a small laugh.

"Very funny," Buffy said, sitting down wearily on the bed.  "We have a son who’s twenty-four and Angel’s been living with me for the last couple of weeks, I really think white would be a bad idea."

"Red?" the witch offered.

"You’re not being any help."

"Buffy, you know Angel isn’t going to care what you wear.  Besides, it’s just going to be a small ceremony at the gallery, right?  Wear whatever you want."

Buffy sighed.  "I wish you were getting here earlier so I could drag you shopping with me."

"I’m sorry," Willow said truthfully.  "I wish I could get away sooner, but you didn’t give me much warning.  I’m afraid Friday night is the soonest I can get there and Kris couldn’t get any time off at all so she won’t be coming."

"She won’t?" Buffy said with a pout.

"Nope, but hey on the bright side, you always have Anya," Willow said with a giggle.

Buffy groaned.  "Ooh, you’re a comedian," Buffy replied, "it’s bad enough she’s going to end up Nicholas’s mother-in-law, I don’t need to bond with her anymore than I already have."  Two and a half decades of being human had made Anya a little more bearable, but she was still completely without tact.

"You’re really okay with your mom and Angel getting married?" Liz asked Nick as they lay in bed together.

"Yeah," he replied, "I really am.  Why?"

"I don’t know," she said, trying to explain.  "It’s just so out of the blue.  My parents and Giles totally freaked when they found out about the wedding.  I guess I just thought you might be upset, especially about them trying to have another kid and everything."

"First off," Nick said, "I told you about them trying to have another kid in confidence, nobody is supposed to know about that.  Secondly, your parents aren’t exactly the poster children for taking things in stride."

"Hey," Liz whined, elbowing him in the chest.

Nick laughed and then sobered.  "It’s their prerogative if they want to have another kid.  Angel definitely missed out with me.  Not exactly a lot of rich parenting experiences to be had here.  Mom, I’m sure she wants to find out what it’s like to have a child *with* him.  I’m not going to begrudge either of them any happiness."

Sighing, Liz said, "I guess I just thought you might be … jealous or something."

"Honestly, "he said, "I am … a little. This kid’s going to know what it’s like to grow up with two parents who are in love.  He or she is going to *know* their father, and admit that they know who he is, instead of me who has been pretending for two and a half decades that I was hatched  and don’t have any idea where I came from."

"I hear a ‘but’ in there."

"But," he said with a smile she could hear in his voice, "I’ve been alone for my entire life.  Just me and mom.  No father, no sister, no brother, no aunts, no uncles, no cousins, no grandparents – except for Giles.  The idea of having a sibling is kind of amazing, you know, somebody else with the same blood as me.  I’m a little jealous, but it’s also a mind blowing thought."

Mussing his hair with her fingers, Liz said, "You’re gonna make a really great dad some day."

Nick kissed her and replied, "Fine, but let’s just make sure it’s not for a few years, okay."

"Oi, Watcher!" Spike yelled as he entered Giles’ condo.  "What’s this I hear about a party?"

Looking up from the book he was reading, Giles frowned.  "I was hoping you hadn’t heard about it," he said caustically.

"Sure," Spike replied with a wink, "the slayer and the poof are finally getting hitched and I’m not supposed to hear about it."

The watcher narrowed his gaze at the vampire.  "How *did* you find out?"

"The Runt," Spike replied matter of factly, taking a seat on Giles’ sofa.

"Nick told you about it?" Giles asked in shock.

"Um ... yeah," Spike said with a sneer.  "I was practically his bloody nanny, Rupert.  Why wouldn’t he tell me?"

Frowning again, the watcher replied, "I never could figure out why that boy was so fond of you."

"Probably because I didn’t treat him like he was a bleedin’ idiot the way the rest of you did."

"Honestly, Spike," Giles chastised, "we didn’t treat him like he was an idiot!  There are simply some things that are inappropriate for young children."

"Whatever," Spike said, dismissing his ideas, "I’ve always thought honesty was the best policy."

"Oh, yes," Giles replied sarcastically, "honesty goes hand in hand with being a blood sucking demon fiend.  How could I forget?"

Spike sneered at the watcher in return.

"He said yes?"

"Yes," Angel replied, crawling into bed with his sleepy fiancé.

"You don’t sound happy," she said with a frown, pillowing her head on his chest.

"I am, but I’m kind of nervous."

"About the wedding?"

"No, about Nick.  I don’t want to screw this up."

Buffy sighed.  "It’s probably not going to be easy, but I think you both want this to work."

"I hope so … I mean I know that I do."

"Love him, Angel, and be patient.  It’s going to take him some time to get used to you.  Don’t force it."

"Buffy?" a male voice called from the front door.  With a frown, Angel went to see who it was that thought they needed to talk to his future wife at seven in the morning.

Putting on as polite an expression as he could muster, Angel said, "She’s not here, Xander.  She left for work about ten minutes ago."

"Buffster’s at work already?  It’s not even eight in the morning."

Angel shrugged and offered Xander a cup of coffee which he accepted.  Xander was probably stopping by on his way to work.  The former loser had definitely made good.  Xander owned his own construction company and was very wealthy.  Somehow his change in social status hadn’t made too much of an impact, he was still the same old Xander.

"She’s busy trying to get things ready for the wedding and run the gallery.  I guess she thought she needed to put in some extra time."

"What about you?" Xander asked politely.  "It doesn’t look like the wedding is stressing you out too bad."

"I could teach my classes in my sleep," he answered truthfully.

Xander nodded.  In spite of the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in two and half decades, they were actually having a rather pleasant conversation.

"I just stopped by to see if you guys needed any help with anything," Xander offered.

Angel’s brow furrowed as he tried to think of anything they might need help with.  "I think we’re good," he said, "but thanks for offering."

It was early afternoon when Angel knocked on the door to Giles condo.  He was busy making last minute preparations for his marriage to Buffy and needed both Giles and Nicholas, who was supposed to be with the watcher.

Angel was unprepared when Spike, still groggy with sleep pulled the door open with a growl of, "Wadja want?"

"Spike?"

The peroxide blonde vampire blinked several times to clear his vision and sneered, "Peaches?"

Narrowing his gaze, Angel replied, "I’m looking for Nick and Giles."

"Aren’t here," Spike said, shutting the door in his face.

Angel stuck his foot in the door to stop it’s close and then shoved it open, causing the still sleepy Spike to stumble backwards several paces.  When he did, Angel entered the room.

"Where are they?"

"Already told ya, they’re out you stupid poof," Spike replied, sinking down into the couch and lighting a cigarette.

"What are you doing here?" Angel asked, barely able to control his anger.

Spike smiled at him and replied, "I was invited to your wedding."

"Sure," Angel said with a bark of laughter.  "That’s a good one, now why don’t you tell me why you’re *really* here before I drag your ass outside and watch you fry."

Spike met his gaze and with absolute sincerity said, "I. Was. Invited."

Still disbelieving him, Angel asked, "By whom?"

"Nick, with Buffy’s blessing, of course," Spike replied calmly, knowing the information would wound Angel deeply.

Feeling like he’d been punched in the gut, Angel sat down in Giles’ wingchair.  He was silent for several moments before saying calmly, "Nobody told me you’d been invited."

"’Spect not, " Spike replied.  "Imagine they just forgot in the rush and all, Peaches.  Don’t get your knickers in a wad.  I’m just here to watch the carnage.  No tasting the guests."

"Really?" Angel sneered.  "And why is that, Spike?  You’ve suddenly developed a conscience?  I figured you’d love nothing more than to see me suffer."

Leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees, Spike glared at his sire.  Taking a drag off of his cigarette, he replied, "I relish the idea of seeing you in pain you insufferable wank.  However, Nicholas invited me and I don’t think he’d take to well to me tearin’ his old man’s head off no matter how much of an ass I think you are."

Angel stared at his folded hands for several minutes, listening to Spike puff on his cigarette.  Finally, he asked, "Why did you do it?"

"Do what, Peaches?" Spike asked, though he knew exactly what Angel was talking about.

"Protect them."

Spike looked at Angel for several heartbeats – Angel’s not Spike’s.  "’S what I do you fucking nonce," Spike said, his voice deathly cold.  "Ever since you got that damn soul back, I’ve been pickin’ up after your messes, righting your wrongs."

"I can look after my own," Angel hissed at his former childer.

Spike looked at him for a moment and then broke out in laughter.  "That’s a good one," he said after he’d calmed down.  "You *abandon* your own, Angelus.  Darla, Drusilla, *Me*, the slayer, Nicholas.  You always have, always will.  I can’t believe the slayer’s taking a chance on you again.  If I was her, I’d have told you to go fuck yourself."

Seething, Angel said, "You’re never going to have her, Spike.  Never.  She may let you stick around, she may have even trusted you to play bodyguard for our child, but she’ll never love you."

"Maybe not," Spike said with a wry grin, "but I am the one that got to watch your whelp grow up, Angelus.  Not you.  *I* was the one she asked to watch him.  *I’m* the one he trusted to tell him the truth about things.  *NOT*YOU*."

Angel fought to stay calm.  He was pissed, but it was directed as much at himself as it was at Spike.  "Why did you tell Nick I was a good guy?" he asked when he finally had his temper in check.

Taking out another cigarette and lighting it, Spike closed his eyes.  "Because you were a god in his eyes," Spike said without looking at him.  "He made you out to be bigger than life.  He worshiped you.  I didn’t want to take that away from him.  I didn’t want to see him as hurt by you as both Buffy and I were."

"You didn’t have to say anything about me," Angel replied tersely.  "You could have kept your mouth shut."

"Just like everyone else did?" Spike asked, cocking an eyebrow at his sire.  "He’s a brilliant kid, Angelus.  He would have known I was keeping things from him.  He knew Buffy wasn’t telling him everything, that she was trying to protect him and all of the other scoobies pretended they didn’t know who Nick’s father was.  To be honest, for a long time I think they all thought it was that idiot Parker or maybe that hick Riley, but Buffy never said a peep.  It was all this big taboo subject, nobody ever talked about where Nick came from."

"The others didn’t know?" Angel asked.

"Dunno," Spike answered.  "We never talked about it.  By now, they probably all suspect, but no one’s said anything.  I knew you were the whelp’s daddy as soon as he was born.  I could smell it on him.  Buffy didn’t even try to lie to me about it, she just asked me to keep my mouth shut.  I did.  Far as I know, she never told any of the others anything.  I think she planned to keep quiet to Nick too, but she couldn’t help herself.  She had some sort of need for him to know who you were and all that other psychobabble bullshit.  I was the only one he could ask about you.  Buffy would turn into a blubbering wreck when he mentioned you to her, so he’d ask me instead."

"And you didn’t tell him what an asshole I am," Angel said in shock.

"’S not his fault his father’s a prick."

"No," Angel said, "it’s not."

Looking at his sire again, Spike said very slowly, "You had better do your damndest to make it up to that boy, Angelus.  He deserves so much better than you."

Angel nodded.  "I know."

Satisfied, Spike sank back into the sofa cushions, closing his eyes.

"Spike?"

"What?"

"Thank you."

"For what, Peaches?"

"For the fact that my son is still speaking to me."

Turning his head, Spike looked at Angel, his jaw clenched tightly.  "Don’t fuck this one up, Angelus.  If you get some noble fucking notion in your head that they’re better off without you, you better damn well ignore it.  You stay with them.  Even if that boy decides that he hates you and never wants to see you again, you stay and take it like a man.  You deserve whatever you have coming."

"I’m not going to hurt them, Spike.  I love them," Angel said softly, wondering why he was bothering to try and reassure the angry vampire.

Hearing a noise, both Angel and Spike turned, noticing for the first time that Nick and Giles had entered the room.  Neither was sure how long they’d been standing there.

"Ah, yes," the watcher said, "would anyone care for tea?" and he headed into the kitchen without waiting for an answer.

Nick looked from Spike to Angel and back again without saying a word.  He’d heard enough of the conversation to know exactly what they had been talking about.  He didn’t know what to do.  Spike had been, in most respects, a surrogate father to him the entire time he was growing up.  Nick was still very attached to him, but Angel was his father, the father that he’d been waiting for his entire life.  Not wanting to pick sides, he turned and followed Giles into the kitchen.

"What were they arguing about?  Not that they *need* something to argue about, they’re at each other’s throats regardless, but still … " Buffy asked her son.

"Us," he replied, leaning back in the chair and putting his feet up on Buffy’s desk.

"Us?"

"Spike was all pissed that you took Angel back, he kept telling him he wasn’t good enough for us."

Buffy nodded.  "Spike and Angel have a very long history.  Spike means well, but he’s still pissed at Angel about things that happened in the nineteenth century."

Nick laughed.  "I always knew Spike could hold a grudge."

"Whatcha want, Runt?"  Spike asked as Nick joined him on Giles’ couch.

Nick smiled in spite of himself.  He was a good half a foot taller than Spike and he still got called "Runt".  Sitting down, he reached for the remote and clicked off the television, earning him a glare from Spike.

"I want you to lay off," Nick said evenly.

"Lay off?" Spike asked, cocking an eyebrow.  "Is this about Peaches?"

"I’m not kidding, Spike," Nick said firmly.  "You need to quit."

Nodding very slowly, Spike pursed his lips before replying.  "He’s been back a couple weeks and you’re already daddy’s boy?  I see.  Well, isn’t that just fucking great for me.  I spend twenty years watchin’ over you and your mum and this is the thanks that I get?"

"Spike," Nick said in a deadly calm voice.  "I’m not saying that.  I’m not saying that you don’t matter.  You were my dad when I was growing up."

"Damn right I was."

"I know," Nick said in a softer tone of voice.  "And you were a really great one, too."

Spike stifled a smile, but his smug expression was readily apparent.  "Thank you," he said quietly.

"I’m a hundred percent sure that when I was in school nobody else’s dad taught them how to hotwire a car or told them stories about breaking out of the Tower of London or gave them tips on how to pick up demon chicks."

"Useful information, all of it," Spike said seriously.

"That may be," Nick replied.  "Getting back to my original point, no one is trying to say that you didn’t do a great job, but I’m an adult now.  I can make my own decisions, and so can mom.  She wants to be with Angel, and I want to find out what my real father is like.  You’re just going to have to deal with that, and you’re going to have to leave Angel alone."

Spike frowned.  "I just know how much pain he’s caused Buffy in the past, and I don’t want to see that happen again, to either of you."

"It’s our chance to take," Nick said firmly.

Spike smiled.  "You always were a fighter, Runt."

"Learned from the best."

Buffy was so engrossed in her plans for the wedding that she left Dan in charge of the gallery as she was wont to do when she got too busy.  Friday afternoon was he was rummaging around her desk for invoices, his hand brushed against something that gave him pause.

Pulling the drawer out farther, he removed pieces of paper until the dagger was uncovered.  His skin still tingled slightly from where he had rubbed up against it.  Using the hem of his shirt, he picked up the dagger, being sure not to touch it with his bare skin, and laid it on the desk.  He was confused, the dagger was certainly magical, but it shouldn’t have been that "hot".

"What the hell did you do you stupid girl?" he said to no one in particular.

Clearing his mind, Dan recited a simple magical incantation, one he’d learned in early childhood.  The dagger glowed a misty orange color, and then with a tiny pop, the tinge disappeared.  Dan touched the dagger again and felt nothing but the cold metal and the natural resonance of the sacred material it was forged from.

"Clarice you idiot," Dan swore under his breath.

With a snarl he replaced the dagger where he’d found it.  If only he’d considered the idea that she’d done something so stupid sooner, possibly things wouldn’t have spiraled out of control the way they did.  No matter, he would eventually prevail.

The End

<< back