In the shower, Buffy leaned exhaustedly against his chest as the water pounded down on them. She felt different, not at all the way she'd felt after waking with Kralik. She felt power like none she'd ever experience before and gave a fleeting thought to whether or not her former Slayer status would affect her power as a vampire. Not that it matter at the moment. All that mattered was that she was safe and loved and with Angel.

When they were done showering, Angel gently toweled off Buffy and wrapped her in a robe much to large for her tiny frame. He then dried himself and pulled on a pair of loose cotton pants he'd brought into the bathroom. Carefully, he lifted Buffy in his arms and took her into the living room, laying her gently on the couch. Buffy watched passively as he built a fire in the cavernous fireplace. When he was finished he padded off to the kitchen leaving her alone. She could hear him, and assumed he must be feeding.

Bagged blood.

Buffy hadn't tried any yet, but she cringed at the thought. Of course, it wasn't as if killing for her meals was an option. She assumed she'd have to learn to make due with the cold stale liquid.

Angel returned, gently urging her up so he could lie on the couch beneath her, her head cushioned on his chest. He hadn't brought any nourishment for her. Buffy was confused, surely he knew she was starving. She looked up at him. He smiled and urged her towards his neck. Buffy gladly took the invitation and sunk her newborn fangs into his flesh, nursing contentedly on her Sire's powerful blood. Beneath her, Angel purred.

After she had fed they laid together, touching lightly. This was a very important time for them, something she understood instinctively. They had to become accustomed to each other, attuned to one another's bodies and needs. They had to cement their bond. Because of it, Buffy didn't ask about Giles, her mother, or her friends. The only thing that mattered in her world at that moment was being with her Sire.

Somehow, for once, the world managed not to intrude on their peace and the lovers were left to their own devices. Angel felt a small pang of guilt when he thought about what Buffy's family and friends must be going through. Surely they were all out searching for her even now. He pushed the thought away. They would find out soon enough. On his chest, Buffy stirred.

"Is it always like this?" she asked timidly.

"What part?"

"All of it," the former Slayer replied. "Somehow I didn't imagine it would be this peaceful."

"It usually isn't," Angel admitted. "But this isn't exactly a normal Sire/childe relationship either."

"You mean because we were involved before?"

Angel smiled. She was still so naive in some respects. "No," he said much to her surprise. "It isn't uncommon for vampires to take human lovers and then turn them as childer."

"Oh."

"We're different because we have souls," he continued. "If we were normal vampires, right now I would be out teaching you how to hunt. Of course, even if we were warm feeders there wouldn't be a lot I could teach you about hunting."

"Because I was a Slayer," Buffy offered.

"Yes, and because of that I don't need to teach you how to defend yourself either. You already know."

"Yeah," she said, "but the rest of it, like when you let me feed from you rather than drinking the packaged stuff. Is that normal?"

"It depends," he said pensively. "It's not standard, but it's my prerogative to spoil you if I want."

Buffy laughed lightly, "So you're spoiling me?"

"Yes," he answered seriously. "Buffy by all rights that govern our kind, I own you. I can do whatever I want to you and there's nothing you could do to stop it."

Buffy's mood sobered instantly. ‘Our kind'. She truly was a vampire now.

Lightly running his hand through her hair, Angel continued, "I love you. I know you probably can't stand the thought of drinking cold blood, so I fed you. I'm doing this for you, Buffy, because of how absolutely important you are to me. There is no tradition that says I have to or even that I should be gentle to my fledglings. Sire/childe relationships are often brutal. I don't want to be that way with you."

Feeling either very stupid or very bold, Buffy asked, "What was it like with your other childer?"

Angel considered not answering the question or flat out lying, but he didn't. Buffy was his childe now. She had a right to know.

"They were all different experiences," Angel explained. "Penn was my first. I was probably the most patient with him, but I was not gentle. Drusilla ... I've told you about my brutality to her. I used and abused her in every way possible and she loved every sick moment of it. Spike ..."

"Spike?" Buffy asked in shock, looking at Angel. "I thought Spike was Drusilla's childe."

"Dru turned him," Angel explained, urging her head to his chest once again, "but she was completely mad and incapable of giving a childe guidance and discipline. Spike became mine the same way you did, love."

One of Buffy's hands fidgeted with her hair as she said, "So ... you and Spike ... um."

"Yes Buffy," Angel confirmed. "me and Spike."

"I didn't realize ..."

"Sex between vampires isn't like sex between humans, Buffy. Gender has very little to do with it, it is about domination and submission. Any weaker vampire will submit to a more powerful, regardless of male or female considerations. That's just the way it is."

Buffy took a few minutes to absorb that revelation. She wasn't human anymore, and possibly that fact alone was what was tempering her reactions to Angel's revelation. She wasn't disgusted by the thought of him and Spike. She was possibly even ... intrigued.

Quietly, she asked, "So what was it like between you and Spike?"

Angel was quiet for a moment and then sighed bitterly. "Spike hates me for more reasons than you can even imagine," he confessed. "I was beyond vicious with him. He was strong willed and insolent and I did everything I could to break his spirit. I never could - at least not for long. When that failed, I often settled for breaking his body. He put up with more torture as my beloved fledgling than most of my victims. He fought every inch of the way, but he did learn to submit to his Sire's wishes."

"And Spike hates you for torturing him?" Buffy asked.

"No," Angel said quietly. "Spike hates me because in spite of all the brutality, in spite of all of the physical and emotional pain I visited upon him, he still loved me with absolute devotion. I was his whole world. And when I was cursed with my soul, I abandoned him completely. He was little more than a fledgling at the time and I left him alone with the added burden of caring for Dru."

Buffy didn't know what to say. She had been completely unprepared for the revelation that Spike's animosity toward her Sire was that of a spurned lover. She should probably feel jealous but she didn't, it just made her ... sad.

Overwhelmed with sympathy, she thought of her sibling. She understood his pain, understood how it felt to be abandoned by Angel and left adrift in the world. She'd been without him for less than a year, Spike had to live without him for more than a century. Spike was still without him.

Sensing the sorrow in Buffy brought about by mention of Spike, Angel silently lifted her into his arms and took her to the bedroom. It was a lot for her to handle, she needed rest. They would deal with the world tomorrow. He gently kissed the top of her head as she drifted off to sleep.

The End

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