Giles stood after the door closed behind Riley and picked up some of the empty cups, Buffy grabbed the rest and followed him into the kitchen. 

He put on water for a fresh pot of tea, and took down the tin of cookies that he kept for her. Buffy watched him as they waited for the water to boil. "Do you really think that it was just biology?" She finally asked. He opened his mouth to respond. "Remember, Giles. The truth."

"Buffy, he had no reason to think that it wasn't you. His girlfriend approaches him for sex, more aggressive, wilder; of course the boy's going to be excited. Unfortunately, he didn't know the real Buffy well enough to recognize that that type of sex isn't, shall we say, 'normal' for you."

"My first was a vampire, my second a hit and run jerk, my third GI Joe. Define 'normal'"

He stared at her, trying to read her expression. She appeared to be serious. "Nothing, er, 'kinky'. No whip cream, leather, role play, silk ropes, er 'bondage fun', that sort of thing."

Buffy stared at him, her eyes glazed. "Have-have you done all that?" She asked breathlessly.

He looked at her again. "Are you quite certain that you want me to answer that?" He asked as he held her eyes.

Buffy licked her lips nervously, then nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"Yes," he said simply.

"All of those things?" She asked in a choked whisper.

He leaned closer. "Among other things."

"Oh." She opened her mouth to say something else, but the kettle whistled. They gathered everything and moved back to the living room, Buffy sitting next to him. "Like what?"

"Pardon?"

"What 'other things'?"

"Are you asking what I *think* you're asking?"

"Probably."

"Buffy, I've been sexually active for over twenty-five years. We don't have time to discuss every experience."

"Can I ask.?" She looked at him, her eyebrows raised in question.

"Ask," he replied gently.

"Leather? Like whips and stuff?"

"A slightly tamer version of that actually."

"Spanking?" She asked, running the tip of her tongue across the edge of her teeth.

Giles swallowed. "Some," he admitted.

"Do you like that?" She asked, eyes wide.

"Honestly?" At her nod, he continued. "More the *idea* of it than the actual spanking. You know, 'oh you've been naughty, somebody needs a spanking'." Hearing those words spoken in his voice did something strange to her stomach.

"Have you ever spanked someone else." He nodded. "Have you ever thought about spanking me?" She blurted, then blushed.

His voice was rueful. "Truthfully, Buffy, anytime I thought about spanking you was because I was rather angry at you. There was nothing sexual about it."

"Oh," she said surprised at how much that disappointed her. "So the thought doesn't excite you."

"I didn't say that."

"Good, I mean, oh really?" She tentatively met his eyes, only to find them warm and full of understanding.

"Really," he confirmed gently.

"And pain?" He looked confused. "Are you 'into' pain?"

"Not really, no. More along the lines of what most people call 'rough sex'." He was really shocked at his Slayer. Not only did she want to know about this, but also she seemed to be relating them to her.

"H-how rough?" Her eyes were wide, her pupils dilated.

"I find blood a turnoff." Then he winced, thinking of Angelus, and worse, thinking of Angel draining *her*.

But she only nodded. "I-I had thought Faith was bad, because she liked it rough." Her words were not a question, but her tone was.

"I wasn't aware that she did, although, I suppose I should have known." Then he looked at Buffy's face and realized what she was asking. Would it make Buffy 'bad' if she liked it rough? "Buffy, do you remember what I told you about that unfortunate man that Faith killed?"

She blinked at him, confused by the apparent change of subject. "Yeah, that we're on the front lines, and that accidents happen."

"Right," said Giles, delighted that she had actually listened. "That applies here also. Faith, and you as well, have a destiny, a life that lends itself to intensity, perhaps even more experimentation that most gir-women your age would be open to. The need for the adrenaline can take you to some strange places.

"With Angel, you didn't really know what you liked or wanted. With that wretch Parker, you were still searching, looking for what you wanted. With Riley, I think you feel that he's going to be around for a while and you don't want him to think badly of you. You feel that he has a certain image of you, and you didn't want to dispel that. You didn't approach him the way Faith did, not because you didn't want to, but because you were afraid of *his* reaction, of what *he'd* think of you.

"And now that you know that he would have . well, enjoyed it, you still won't because Faith did. She got there first." He stopped, because Buffy was crying, quietly, tears running down her face. "Please don't, Buffy. I'm sorry, I was only rambling, I'm quite certain that I'm wrong.."

"No, Giles, no. I'm just, no. *I* was wrong. How could I ever have thought that you don't know me?" She sniffed.

"I am sorry about that," he said quietly.

"How could you have known, Giles?"

"You knew me."

"The demon had your green eyes. Faith's body didn't have my eyes."

"Actually it did. Once I truly looked."

"And you didn't even have to stab me to see it," she said brightly.

"Thank God." He looked searchingly at her. "It wouldn't make you a bad person, Buffy." He held her eyes until she nodded, accepting his words as the truth. "Don't let Faith stop you, Buffy."

"'Cause then she wins."

"Right."

"So I should forgive Riley?"

"I-I can't tell you that, my dear. Although certainly not if it makes you unhappy to do so."

"I just don't know. It's, it's like it's ruined, a vase that's been broken and can never be put back together exactly right."

"Buffy, you forgave a much more heinous transgression." He reminded her gently.

"But that was you, Giles. Riley's not you."

Giles blinked, "I was actually referring to Angel."

She looked confused. "Oh, well, that was nothing new. It was just one more painful episode of the 'Teenage angst show'." She looked at him, her green eyes wide as she realized what she had just said.

But Giles looked stricken. "I-I hurt you more?"

She took a deep breath. "I trusted, *trust* you more than anyone, Giles." Then she shrugged. "But our vase is always changing anyway."

He looked at her, and his eyes lit with humor. "'Our vase is always changing anyway'?"

"Do not mock me, Watcher o' mine." She said imperiously. Then ruined by giggling.

"Watch your bossy tone," he warned with a grin.

"Yeah or what? You'll start calling me 'Mistress'?" His laughter stopped as the breath went out of him. She went on, oblivious. "Although, I guess someone of my stature would look pretty silly dressed in black leather ordering a big guy like you around." She looked at her Watcher, who was staring blankly at her, lost in the visual that her words conjured. She cocked her head to the side. "Giles?"

He blinked rapidly at her, a blush making it's way up his neck, "Er, yes?" He replied, distracted.

She blushed as she realized what was going on. She took a deep breath. "What else?" She asked abruptly. "You said whipped cream?"

"Hm? Whipped cream? What?" He focused on reality. "I beg your pardon?"

"You said whipped cream?"

"Y-yes." It was dawning on him just how much trouble he was getting himself into. At first he had been happy that she seemed to actually care about his life. But as her eyes held his, he realized just how irrevocable all of it was. He couldn't *untell* her the things he had told her.  As she continued to stare at him, eyebrows raised, he realized that, as awkward as it could make things, he didn't want to untell her.

He finally replied. "Have you changed your mind then?"

"About what?"

"'Very, very old, and it's gross'. Ring any bells?"

He noted in satisfaction that she lowered her eyes. "I was hurt and embarrassed. I thought you didn't want me anymore. " Her eyes flew back to his and she blushed. "As your Slayer. You all but *shoved* me out the door," she accused.

Now he lowered his eyes, "Well, yes, I told you that I was sorry. I thought that you should be more self-sufficient. I knew I'd made a mistake as soon as the door closed behind you." He admitted.

"You did come after me," she allowed. "And admitted that you'd been wrong. But, but.."

"But it put a barrier between us. You backed away."

"I didn't want to be *pushed* away, again." Her words were harsh, but not meant to be cruel, just honest.

"I truly am sorry, Buffy. It's possible that I was more afraid of how much I needed you, rather than the reverse. Aside from the research, you do quite well on your own. And Willow and the Initiative are quite capable at research. Perhaps," he stopped. "Buffy, *am* I obsolete?" He asked quietly.

"God, no, Giles." She laid her hand on his knee. "I need you so much. If only in the when-all-else-fails-Giles-will think-of-something capacity. I depend on you like I can't depend on anyone else. Have I made you feel that way?"

He nodded eyes downcast. "Yes, sometimes."

"I really don't mean to Giles. I really, really need you." She blushed again at how that sounded. He kindly pretended not to notice. After a few seconds she spoke again. "It didn't used to be this complicated. Slayer, Watcher, Slayerettes. Me, you, Willow and Xander. We did great. We each had our job to do, and we saved the world every other week."

"Yes, well, our family has grown a bit, hasn't it?"

"Yeah. Sometimes, I want things the way they were. Us four, with Angel-the dark and brooding, lurking, cryptic warning-periodically guy, safely in his niche of forbidden fruit." Her eyes grew so sad. "Then I bit, pardon the pun. And things have spiraled further and further away." Her eyes were so filled with pain, that he couldn't stand it.

"Good lord, Buffy. Not every wrong in the world is your fault. I raised a demon that killed a perfectly nice young man, before you were even born. Is that your fault, too?"

She looked at him, a twinkle slowly appearing in her eyes. "Well, yeah. You ran away to avoid your destiny, which eventually was me."

He wondered if she realized just how true that was; that she was his destiny? Then he spoke, "Do you remember asking about a spanking?" She nodded, grinning now. "You're bloody close to one, right now."

"Oooh, somebody's been naughty," she said with an impish grin.

"Don't tempt me," he warned.

"Yeah, 'cause you're stronger than .." She broke off with a squeal as he grabbed her and pulled her across his lap, face down.

She lay there giggling until he released her. But instead of returning to her spot next to him, she turned so that she sat on his lap. "Okay, point taken. Element of surprise." She felt him begin to harden beneath her bottom. "And you're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

His hands slowly slid around her waist. "But, it's not as if you're *really* surprised, now, is it?" He asked her as his hands tightened on her.

Her arms slid around his shoulders. "No, it's not."

The End