The little girl was pissed.

She was helping Rupert make dinner. They were chatting lightly and I was getting quite sick of it.

I went into the kitchen to try and talk to Rupert a little, maybe make out in front of her. Carrying a plate with potatoes on it, she made a show out of trying not to bump into me. "You know, Sharon, this place really isn't big enough for the three of us. Maybe you could wait outside." There's a double meaning in that.

I was about to comment on her heritage when Rupert jumped in. "Yes, Sharon, if you don't mind… we'll call you when dinner is ready."

She looked at me as if to say "Score one for Buffy' and turned back to him, getting his attention to drift from me by tugging at his sleeve and asking something about spices.

Score one for Buffy, indeed.

Dinner was nice, or at least the food was. As for the company…

"So, Sharon, how come you don't have a job?"

I smiled at her sweetly. "I have a lot of money saved up."

"Well, I guess when you get men to pay for you…" There's a double meaning in that too.

Buffy 2, Sharon 0.

"Gentlemen such as Rupert enjoy paying."

"I think that contradicts the definition of gentleman, don't you?"

Nice one.

"Buffy…"

"Sorry Giles."

"Why don't you call him Rupert? Too personal?" (Good one Sharon. Make him think she's not really his friend.)

"Too German shepherd."

Rupert looked incredulous. "And Buffy doesn't scream Pekinese?"

Buffy stared at him with wide eyes and open mouth while I fought not to laugh my ass off.

"Well, at least mine is a nickname. Yours was given. By parents."

It was his turn to stare.

I was having too much fun. Who knew such a little question could start an argument like that?

"I'll have you know Rupert is a very popular name."

"Well German shepherd is a popular dog."

"Well, at least they don't require ironing!"

"Just like you to iron a dog."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I bet you iron my jeans too."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"God, do you starch your ties?"

"Well it's better than looking like I just fell out of bed."

"Hey, I spend half an hour on looking like I just got up. Don't make fun of my style!!"

"It's not style, it's your way of getting an extra half hour of sleep!"

"Well, maybe if you and Sharon wouldn't keep me up half the night!" oops.

"K…keep you u-up?"

"Well it's hard to sleep with all that… that…" They both blushed.

"I… you can hear… er, I mean…"

She got up. "Why don't I wash the dishes?"

"Yes. Yes. Good."

"Come on Rupert…"

"Sharon, you heard what Buffy said. She can hear us."

"Told you it's time for her to move out."

"Yes, very funny. Now, please. Just go to sleep."

Why is it that everything backfires with these two? You try to get them to fight and you're the one not getting any???!!!

Buffy was ready for class by the time we got down. "Would you like a ride?"

"Sure. Thanks."

He went to the bathroom. Buffy looked me up and down. "So this is what you look like when I get a full eight hours? Cause I gotta' tell you, that no after-glow just isn't you."

I gave her a dirty look. "Don't worry, I won't have it for long. You do, after all, have to go to class."

She smiled sweetly. "Did you know that when Giles takes me to class he hangs in the library reading until I'm finished?"

Shit. "Well, we'll just see if we can change that, shall we?"

She snorted. "He'd sooner wear a hot-pink dress than miss an excuse to be there."

Rupert showed up. "I won't be back until her classes are all over. I'll see you later?"

I smiled. "Yeah."

He headed for the door and Buffy smiled at me. "Told you" she mouthed.

Bitch.

"It's ok, Giles. Really."

"Are you sure? You might need me there."

"I'll be all right. It's your anniversary. Go, have fun with her."

"If anything happens…"

"Nothing will happen. I've killed dozens of his kind already. I'll be fine. You go make your girlfriend happy."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

There was a short pause, and I hid myself as he left her room. I looked inside and saw her lie down on her bed, hugging a little stuffed piggy to her.

I win.

The End