The Forgotten Slayer
by Revello_1620

***All of the characters and places from the Buffy-verse are the property of the writers, actors and Fox. This is just my take on their work and they are in no way responsible for anything said or implied by myself.

Any characters of my creation are mine and mine alone for better or worse.

***Just a little note, I appreciate all reviews, the good and yes sadly the bad. Praise, complaints, hate it or love it just let me know. Just be honest***


The streets were where you went when you lost all hope. In the darkened alleyways surrounded by the pungent dumpsters and locked doors were an endless maze of life at its absolute worst, hell on earth. The very old to the very young wondered, without a plan or ambition beneath the pale green lights waiting for nothing but the end, waiting for the pain of living to stop. Some lived off the food tossed away in the dumpsters rotted by the sun between trash days while others sold drugs or peddled their own flesh to feed the gnawing hunger in their empty bellies or to buy a clean room for the night. Buffy sold herself nightly at the bargain rate of one hundred bucks a go or fifty for a blow.

She had come to the streets hoping to lose herself in the unwashed and disillusioned humanity around her and when that hadn’t worked she started selling herself one piece at a time. Unlike the others she hadn’t lost hope, she never had it to begin with. Her mother had been a junkie while her father had had run off before she had taken her first steps. The state stepped in when she had been eight but by then she was already jaded. While the other kids had been watching Muppets to learn their ABC’s, she had been learning how to thin down coke so her strung out mother wouldn’t OD by accident. The first foster home she landed in had showed her quite clearly where her place in this world was and it sure as hell wasn’t a place of sunlight and posies. She belonged in the shadows, in the alleys littered with used crack vials roaming the world when the decent people were tucked snugly in between their clean sheets in their perfect homes. That’s what she was, a piece of trash mucking up the view for the nice people who paid their taxes on time and so when she was sixteen she went back to where she belonged.

Turning tricks had never bothered her, it was just another way of life and it sure beat starving. She brought in enough to keep her in cheap hotels and happy meals, which she ate for the toys and not because of their nutritional content. She had a cheap plastic toy fetish, which was by far the weirdest thing in her life. Thinking about that reminded her it was time to get her ass back to work…literally. Putting a provocative sway in her hips she strolled down the sidewalk hoping to hook a john. Sure enough, as if by magic, a man appeared out of the alleyway and motioned for her to come over. “What are you looking for tonight baby?”

His eyes skimmed down her body taking in her short black leather mini shirt, that showed nearly every inch of her toned legs and her cherry red tank top that clung against her high firm breasts. “How much for a pretty little thing like you?” He asked her leering appreciatively.

She told him her price and he didn’t even try to argue. He took her hand and led her back into the alley. He shoved her roughly against the cold stone wall, which she didn’t mind but she did mind him starting without paying upfront. “Money first baby, then you can do anything you want.”

He pulled out his wallet and handed over two hundred large. “I guess that buys me just about everything.”

She slipped the bills into the tight silver bracelet she wore and gave him a smoldering smile. “I’m all yours but if you hit me in the face, I’m going to break your dick…you get me.”

“I had something else in mind,” He said slipping into his demonic face.

She heard a shout down at the other end of the alley but she had known the second he touched her what he was. Reacting on instinct, she stuck out with a right cross knocking him back several feet and finished up with a roundhouse catching him in the jaw and bringing him down. She quickly crossed over to him and put the tip of her black stiletto over his heart. “Now you see why I wanted the cash first?” She told him coldly before bringing her foot down.

Turning she prepared to face any friends he might have brought along. She saw a man with hair as dark as the short leather jacket he wore, with a face that belonged in a Renaissance painting. But even though he held a stake in one hand, she knew by the way he had moved that he wasn’t an angel. “If your looking for trouble like your friend I’ll turn you to ash just like him but if you want a tumble it’ll cost you double. So unless you walk away either way you’re going pay.”

“What’s your name?” He asked her.

“What’s your pleasure,” she countered.

“Do you know what you are?”

“Yeah pissed off and hungry, so either tell me what you want or get the hell out of my way.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, I’m a friend.”

“I don’t need a friend, least of all a vampire. But from where I‘m standing you’re the only one in danger, cuz as you can see I can take care of myself.” She told him crossing her arms over her chest. “If you want to fuck, we can fuck but if you want to fight lets get on with it because the foreplay is getting a little tiresome.”

“How much?” He asked reaching into his pocket for his wallet, slowly as not to alarm her.

“Two hundred, upfront.”

“Will five hundred buy me the entire night?”

Add that to the two hundred she had already pocketed and that was rent and then some. As johns went he was atleast young and good looking and as long as he didn’t get all bitey she didn’t have a problem with him being the undead. She walked up to him and gave him a look designed to make any man, even a undead ones, blood rush down below his waist line. When he shifted awkwardly, she held out her hand expectantly. Tucking away the entire contents of his wallet into her bracelet she wrapped her arms around him and began to devour his lips, with a stunningly erotic kiss. His arms wrapped around her instantly and she pressed every inch of her against him, as she slid her tongue against his. After a few second he pulled away, which surprised her since it was the first time it had happened in the four years she had been working in the world’s oldest profession. “Is there a problem?”

“We can’t do this.” He said taking a full step away from her finely honed and deadly accurate feminine wiles. She looked entirely to young to kiss that well, he though unable to believe how hard it had been to pull away from her enticing body. He had lost his soul with Faith and less than two years later he had been tempted to try his luck again. Only this time with a different slayer who was a complete stranger instead of the one he still thought he loved.

“Sorry lover but I have a firm no money back policy.”

“I wasn’t buying your services, just your time.”

“So your just looking for friend…whatever you’re the boss.” She said with a carefree shrug. It was no skin of hers if he didn’t want to sample the goods and since she had already been paid it was all kinds of good.

“You’re not disappointed?” He asked unable to stop himself. She kissed him like she had an undying passion for him, begging to be released and now she was fine just talking…it nicked his pride to say the least.

“You’re good looking but you’re just another body. My love only lasts till the money runs out. It’s nothing personal.”

“That sounds like an empty way to live.”

“Funny coming you, a soulless vampire.” She shot back easily, not offended in the least. He couldn’t upset her, because like she said he wasn’t anything to her.

“I have a soul.”

“I don’t.”

That emotionless announcement staggered him more than her kiss. The cold finality of her voice told him that she not only meant it but she believed it to be nothing less than the sterling truth. What he didn’t hear was regret or remorse and that weighed down on his own soul. It was like he had said…she was empty inside. She was entirely to young to be that hollow and he silently vowed to save her from this life, that she had somehow found herself trapped inside. “What’s your name?”

“Buffy.”

“Angel,” he said offering her his hand.

Guess he was an angel after all she thought to herself as she reached out and let his large hand swallow her own. “So what now Angel?”

“We go back to my place and talk, there’s food there if your hungry.”

“Sure but I probably should warn you, I’m not really looking to be saved.” She told him, plainly reading the idea in his eyes. Living on the streets taught you how to read people pretty well. She knew who wanted to harm and who was looking to help and he fell into the latter category. “When the money runs out, so do I.”

“Then I guess you just got yourself a full time job.” Angel told her, more than willing to pay whatever it cost. If nothing else it would keep her from selling herself to feed her already ethereal form. He could clearly see the thin narrow ridges of her collarbone hiding behind the curtain of her long golden hair and that just stiffened his resolve to help her any way he could. Not because she was an unknown slayer but because she was a girl that society had forgotten.

When he turned to walk away she walked beside him for a few moments and then as they neared her favorite restaurant, she broke the companionable silence, with a very simple request. “Do you mind if I grab some takeout?”

Angel watched Buffy play with her newly acquired Japanese pocket monster instead of reading the book he was holding in his hands. She was as happy as any child and it was hard to believe she was the same broken woman he had met less than an hour ago.

Feeling his eyes and not embarrassed in the least, she turned to face him. “You might as well stop pretending, you know you want to play with me.”

“What?” He asked unable to believe that she could take his thoughts from completely innocent to barely legal in nothing but a few short seconds. She had this magnetic sexual pull and no matter how hard he tired to deny it, he wanted her. He was just about to take her up on her offer, when she held up the toy she had gotten from her second meal.

“You can be this one and help my little guy destroy Frytopia.” She said gesturing to the miniature city she had erected out of empty fry cartons and burger boxes, completely unaware of the other erection she had created in his slacks. When he had said sex was off the menu, she had taken him at his word but since he had started to read while she ate, she figured that they might as well do something else. He was paying for her company after all she rationalized, making the little figure she held do a little dance. “Come on, it’s fun and the little chicken nugget people can’t run very fast…cuz they don’t have any legs.”

Enchanted by her enthusiasm, he sat down his book and walked over to sit beside her. He took the little figure she handed him and watched as she demonstrated the artistry of monsters leveling a major metropolitan city. She did it with an attention to detail that would make any filmmaker proud, he thought with a smile. After the monster she held had gobbled up all the poor citizens, he was surprised by how much of her meal remained. When she had ordered two, he thought she was starving but now it seemed that she had chosen to feed it to her monster instead. “I can‘t believe that I thought that place was a restaurant, because now I can plainly see it is nothing but a toy store.”

While she rebuilt the ruined city for his turn, she smiled softly to herself. “When I was little my mom used to bring one of these home every once in a while. Usually she ate all the food but not even a junkie can find a use for the toy surprise inside. We didn’t celebrate the holidays or my birthday so these were all I had to play with. I have about a hundred of these back at my motel room.”

He opened his mouth to say he was sorry but she shoved a badly bent and very cold fry inside his mouth to stop him.

“Your turn and since you’re a vampire, I expect to see some major carnage out of your new little friend.” She said the words easily but her eyes had lost some of their warmth. She could take a lot of things even physical pain with a smile but she wouldn’t allow anyone to feel sorry for her. She never had, so why let someone else.

Letting it go for now, Angel began his rampage, quickly getting into the spirit of the game. For more than an hour they happily tore down the city only to rebuild it and start all over again. He was having so much fun in fact that he started to worry about his curse but then he began to notice something. They had started out playing as allies but every so often she would attack him without warning. After the tenth time it happened, he sat down his toy and looked up into her face. “Do you know why you keep attacking me?”

“Because it’s fun and my poor little Kikzo has lost himself in the bloodlust?”

“Do you remember when I asked you if you knew what you were?”

“Sure it didn’t happen all that long ago,” She said with a roll of her eyes anxious to get back to the game. Not because she wanted to play but she had a feeling that she wouldn’t like what he was trying to say.

“You keep attacking me because you’re a vampire slayer, it‘s instinctual. You were chosen by the Powers that Be and given the strength and the speed needed to fight against the vampires and other dark forces in this world.” Angel told her softly, knowing that it must be hard for her to hear.

“I’m a whore Angel, not some mystical whatzit chosen to fight for a higher purpose.”

“Your powers came to you about two years ago right. You started having nightmares about things you didn’t understand and then you noticed the other changes. I know this because I know another girl like you. There was only suppose to be one slayer but she drowned and when she was revived another one was called because she had technically died, even if it was only for a moment. Then next girl, Kendra died and you were called. For some reason the Watchers Council that has guided the slayers since the beginning didn‘t know that you were a potential slayer and everyone just assumed that another hadn‘t been called because there was only one again.”

“There isn’t anyone else like me Angel. I’m a one of a kind and if you’d let me show you what I can do, you would understand that.” She said running her hand up his leg suggestively.

“I can’t Buffy, not because I don’t want you but because my soul comes with a curse. If I experience a single moment of true happiness, then my soul is ripped away and I become a cold blooded killer again. A monster that plays the same kind of game we have been, only for real.” Hoping that by opening up to her, she would open up as well he told her about why he had left Sunnydale and about his relationship with Faith.

“You are such an idiot Angel,” Buffy said laying her hand against his face to take some of the sting out of her words. “Take it from me, it wasn’t the sex that triggered your curse, it was they way you two felt about each other. I’ve seen girls nearly beaten to death by their pimps but they always go back because they love them. Love can be something soft and sweet if each person feels the same way or it can be used to cause pain when it isn’t returned in equal measure. You couldn’t find your moment of real happiness with me because I am not capable of returning the feeling. You gotta know happiness and love to share it and those words aren’t really a part of my vocabulary. I bet you could even sleep with her again and not lose yourself, because you know the pain now…it’s a part of you.”

“The way you talk it sounds like you understand love and happiness pretty well for someone who says they can’t feel it.”

“I know pain Angel and misery, if anything is my gift, it’s those two things.” She pulled her hand away and got to her feet. “I also know men and you didn’t walk away because you loved her too much to stay, you walked away because you loved the pain more. Like I said it’s a part of you now and you have to feed it just like any other hunger. Someday you’re going to find you a woman that sates all your needs and that time you won’t be able to walk away. But trust me Angel, that girl is never going to be me. I can give you a few nights of empty passion but nothing more, because I don‘t have anything else to give.”

She let him take that in for a few moments, waiting to see if he would take her up on her offer. When he didn’t she let it go and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

Angel watched her go with her words buzzing through his mind like a nest of angry bees. Could she have been right, he wondered searching his mind for the truth. He had been human and curse free with everything he had thought he had wanted, but just like she had said he had given it all back to return to his life of pain. He had loved Faith, she was as innocent as Buffy was tainted but after he had decided to leave Faith the second time, he never once considered going back to her. Yet twice in the same night he had battled against his feeling for Buffy, barely winning each time. If he had loved Faith as deeply as he had believed, then no other woman let alone a stranger should be able to call to him so quickly. For more than a hundred years he had abstained without temptation yet now he was constantly wishing for a taste of the forbidden fruit that was Buffy.

Spike had told him about Faith taking a lover and how that it had turned out badly. But even now, with as clouded as his mind was, he didn’t feel the slightest bit betrayed or even angry that she had tried to replace him in her heart. Somewhere along the way he had let her go, without acrimony yet he had still wrapped himself in the bitterness of her absence. It hadn’t been his soul torturing him, it had been his own will to wallow in the darkness inside himself. As much as he wanted to deny that it couldn’t be true, he couldn’t.

Buffy had looked unflinchingly inside his twisted psyche and in moments uncovered the real truth about his nature. She had been able to do so, because she had done the same for herself long ago. As impossible as it was, he had finally met someone more tortured than himself and that thought alone was enough to strangle any desire he had for her in his heart. He had enough emotional pain to deal with and he couldn’t bear to take anymore by beginning a relationship that was well and truly doomed before it had even begun. He would still do everything he needed to help her, if for nothing more than the revelation she had given to him tonight, but he knew they would only be friends and nothing more. He might want her, he still had needs after all but his heart knew that he would never love her. And strangely enough, it wasn’t that hard to give her up either.

Buffy awoke the next morning, completely nude between soft silk sheets the color of blood and knew two things instantly. One, she wasn’t at one of the cheap hotels she usually called home and two, she hadn’t had sex. Remembering what had happened the night before and that she had undressed herself before going to bed alone, she climbed out of bed and stretched out to shake the sleep from her muscles. It wasn’t the first time she had spent the night with a john and just because they hadn’t done the deed, didn’t mean that the same rules weren’t in effect. The meter had just expired and it was time to pull out of the parking space and head home. She reached over to where she had neatly laid her clothes, just as a strange man walked into the room.

Realizing that she was not his broody employer, Doyle let himself appreciate the view for a moment before leaping to the wrong conclusion. Giving a short shout, he ran from the room and back up the stairs to tell Cordy that Angelus was back.

Puzzled, but just thinking he was shy, she reached for her clothes again and this time Angel walked into the room. Much like the other man, he paused for a moment to look at her. “If this keeps up I’m going to start charging admission.” She muttered dryly, letting him look his fill.

Tearing his eyes away from her breasts, almost to large for her slender waist and flat abdomen, he forced himself to meet her eyes. “Where did he go?”

She shrugged and when he ran out of the room without another word, she shook her head and pulled on her clothes. She counted her money as was her usual habit and grabbed her toys, shoving them in his waistband at the small of her back before headed upstairs. When she reached the top of the stairs she heard an argument in full swing. With her curiosity piqued, she peaked into the glass office and was surprised to see a man and woman holding Angel at bay with two large crosses. It wasn’t her problem but since she had a pretty good idea that it had to something to do with her, she made her way into the room. She flicked her gaze over the people not sure if they were human or not and turned to Angel. “Do you want me to kill them or should I just disarm them?”

Before Angel could respond Doyle stepped forward and brandished the cross in her face. “Get back.”

Rolling her eyes, she reached up and jerked the cross out of his hands in a single fluid movement. Tapping it against her palm, she gave him a hard look. “Are you going to make me break this over your head or are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“If you’re not a vampire then why didn’t Angelus kill you?” Doyle asked her.

She turned back to Angel. “Why don’t you handle the explanation?”

“They think you triggered the curse.”

“Listen, he bought me for the night but he didn’t do the deed. He slept on the sofa and since I always sleep naked, you just got a free show and nothing more.”

“He bought you?” Cordy asked before whirling on Angel. “You actually went out and bought a cheap hooker? What in the hell were you thinking ?”

“Hey Malibu Barbie, I’m a whore but I’m not exactly cheap, so mind your manners.” Buffy warned her, narrowing her eyes at the designer clad brunette across from her. She was beautiful in a way that was hard to believe, so even though the hair color was wrong, Buffy decided she still had the prissy manner that fit the moniker.

“Since when was that a company benefit and why didn‘t anyone tell me?” Doyle asked, remembering the naked golden goddess he had seen earlier.

Cordelia punched him none to lightly in the arm and looked an Angel for an explanation.

“I found her staking a vamp, she’s the slayer that replaced Kendra.”

“She’s a hooker, since when does that fit in with the image of a Champion of the innocent? The key word being innocent.”

“Cordelia,” Angel warned her, growling low in his throat.

When Cordelia, turned her cold hazel eyes on her, Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t look at me, I told him the same thing. I didn’t buy it either, so I’ll just let you all take it from here.”

“Buffy…”

“Your name is Buffy and you had the nerve to call me Barbie?” Cordy asked mockingly.

“If the shoe fits princess.” Buffy shot back.

“You can’t go Buffy.” Angel said walking over to grab her arm lightly.

Jerking away from his touch she reminded him of the details of their arrangement. “No money, no Buffy, that was the deal remember. I stayed the night and now unless you hand me several dead presidents, I’m gone.”

Since Angel was wearing nothing but a pair of silk boxers, Doyle pulled out his wallet and charged in to save the day, in the weirdest way yet. “How much?”

“500 a night or 100 a go and something tells me you’re a real goer.” Buffy said nibbling on her bottom lip, seamlessly tuning back into the familiar rhythm of the street.

Staggered by the look in her eyes and the throaty purr of her voice, Doyle blindly handed over the entire contents of his wallet.

She counted out the bills quickly and efficiently and stepped towards him. Neatly tucking away the money, she reached out to trail a hand down his chest. “You just bought yourself two trips through the amusement park and trust me baby, I’m going to leave you breathless.”

She had nearly reached his lips when Angel pulled her away suddenly. “It’s the same deal as before, no sex just conversation.”

“Sorry pal, but you ain’t the one paying me this time.” She looked back over her shoulder at Doyle. “Is that what you want lover or do you have something else in mind that‘s a little more stimulating than conversation?”

Doyle caught the hard look on Angel’s features and regrettably shook his head no. “Sorry, but he’s the boss.”

Shrugging she pulled out of Angel’s arms and walked over to sit on the corner of the desk. “You got me for two hours Angel, so now what?”

Thinking for a minute, he decided he needed some time to explain things to the others. “You should go back downstairs for now.” He said running his hand through his hair.

“Okay but do you want me to bring up your pants, cuz your bringing a whole new meaning to the term office casual.” She said hopping down off the desk.

Nodding, he waited until she was out of earshot to explain everything that had happened. He had just finished the story when she walked back in. Not only had she brought him his pants but also a matching shirt. When she turned to leave again, he reached out to stop her. To his surprise she didn’t try to struggle this time. “I think it’s time we talked.”

“What ever you want, boss.” She said plopping down in one of the empty chairs.

“How about we start with your name and age and go from there.” He said motioning for the others to sit, while he pulled on his clothes.

“Buffy Anne Winters and I’m nineteen.” She said before telling them the highlights, or lowlights as they were, of her life story. Even the condensed version had eaten up a full half hour of their time and she waited to see what was up next.

“How many demons have you slain?” Angel asked softly unable to believe how strong she must have been to survive this long.

“I don’t know maybe one or two vamps a night plus a mixed bag of demons along the way. I don’t go looking for them but where I hang out it’s kind of hard to missing running into them. Despite what you think most of my johns are human and I’ve never been with a demon that I know of...well except for the occasional vamp. Thanks to my cash up front way of doing business, the deal usually closes the second they pop out their fangs. I don‘t share blood but if their money is good, I don‘t care if they don‘t have a pulse.”

“How can you be so casual about this?” Cordelia blurted out before she could stop herself. “I mean your life pretty much sucked big time and I feel sorry for you. But you’re not really acting like a victim so it’s pretty hard to treat you like one.”

“I‘m not and I sure as hell don‘t need your pity.” Buffy told her, in a voice sharp enough to cut through bone. “Wake up and smell reality princess, if you’re going to live in this world you need money. I’ve been paying my own way since I was sixteen. Everything I own, every bite of food I eaten and every night I spent in a warm room I’ve earned. How I make my money may not be pretty but can you say the same thing about your life?”

“Buffy why don’t you go downstairs for a little while.” Angel said, wanting to give her a little space.

“You know what Angel, I don’t need this shit.” She reached down and pulled out a hundred dollar bill out. She slammed it down on the desk. “I’m not your charity case and I sure as hell don’t need a bunch of people more fucked up than I am, looking down their noses at me, hoping to feel better about themselves. You all can spend your time trying to save this world but that’s your thing not mine. The people of this world see only the things they want to see and your all so busy trying to save them that you think you’re better than they are. I told you once that I don’t want to be saved, so save your spiel for someone who actually likes this world the way it is.”

She was half way to the door when she felt Angel grab onto her arm again. The first time she had let him get away with it because she had sold herself but this time, she was her own boss. It was time he learned that he could buy her body but not her, she decided. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, she turned and punched him in the face. When his hands went up to his throbbing nose, she brought her knee up hard into his gut knocking him to the ground. “Whose the pathetic one now?” She tossed back at them, walking out of the room without looking back.

To angry to form words, Angel got off of the floor and headed over to the phone. He dialed the number and waited for the familiar voice to say hello. “Hey Kate, I need a favor.”

“I’m listening.”

“I need everything you can find on a girl named Buffy Anne Winters.” He gave her a brief recap of Buffy’s life and her current profession. “She’s not looking for trouble but it’s going to come looking for her.”

“Well you’re in luck, it’s a slow day and I have a friend who owes me a few favors. I’ll see what I can dig up, it’s shouldn’t take long.” Kate said, certain that a girl who had been a hooker since she was sixteen would have a record of some kind.

He thanked her briefly before hanging up to look at the others. “We could have handled things with Buffy a little better, don‘t you?”

“Angel…I’m sorry for what I said, it was out of line.” Cordy said taking the seat across from him. “But that doesn’t mean I think we should get involved with her. Faith was always a little bitchy but that girl is brittle. You saw how easily she switched from normal to slut girl in the blink of an eye and that is not normal. She is seriously deranged and since she is a slayer that makes her a ticking time bomb. Trust me when I say, we don’t want to be the ones to set her off. She’s seems happy with her life as it is, so let’s just leave her to it.”

“Cordelia, how did you feel the day your family lost everything?” Angel said switching tactics hoping to make her understand where Buffy was coming from.

“We we’re broke Angel but I didn’t start selling myself, so I’m not seeing your point.”

“Before that day you had it pretty good, plenty to eat, nice clothes to wear and then suddenly it was all gone. That was the worst day of your life and you were strong enough to come out here to chase after your dreams. Well everyday of her life, has been like your single worst day and she never had a single reason to hope that it would get better. I know what it’s like to live on the streets without a single shred of hope in your heart. I had given up and I had done things that I shouldn’t and then out of nowhere Whistler came and offered me a chance at something more. Buffy hasn’t given up, she’s doing what it takes to survive. She has lived through the kinds of things that would break most people but she is still fighting.” Angel said thinking back to the man he had been then. He had been dirty, living off of rats waiting for it all to end and to tired to keep fighting the pain inside him.

He had been conquered, crippled by his own emotional turmoil from thing that had happened more than a century ago but Buffy refused to be conquered by things that had happened a few years ago. “All she had was herself and can you imagine how hard it must be for her to sell that each night, just to make it to the next one? You saw her completely surrender her body the second the money changed hands but you never saw her surrender herself. Not everyone out there, living on the streets has the strength to do that. Not giving in is hard and that is why she is worth fighting for.”

“The Powers choose their Champions for a reason Cordy,” Doyle said softly, seeing Angel’s point. “Angel and I were chosen because we had something to atone for but she isn’t the reason her life has turned out this way. She was born into it, and now we’re trying to convince her to believe she was chosen to fight for others when no-one has ever been willing to fight for her. She has ever right and reason to say no to her calling but when Angel was in trouble, she stepped in here to save him from us. That’s what a real Champion does, fight for others when they have nothing to gain from it, their selfless.”

Cordelia was still far from being sold on the idea but they we’re right she deserved a chance atleast. “So what’s the plan? I mean how do you save someone who doesn‘t want to be saved?”

“You show them how to save themselves,” Angel told her with a smile, knowing that Cordy would come around. She was a good person and she had come along way from the Queen C he had known in Sunnydale, he thought with admiration for her blossoming in his chest. In a way it was funny that the girl who knew every line of her body and knew how to display it at its best had missed the fact that her giving and kind heart was her best asset and feature. She couldn’t see the changes in herself, the kind of changes that made her a better person than he had believed possible. For the first time, he could see why Doyle had fallen in love with her.

When the phone rang Angel seemed lost to his usually deep thoughts so Cordelia answered. “Angel Investigations we help the helpless.” She listened for a few moments and then passed the phone over to Angel. “It’s Kate.”

Snapping out of his thoughts of Cordelia, Angel took the receiver. “That was fast.”

“Don’t thank me yet, there wasn’t much I could find on her and what I did isn’t exactly pleasant. She doesn’t have an record, so she’s never been arrested for solicitation or prostitution but she has a file with County Services. Her mother lost custody after her eighteenth arrest and Buffy was handed over to a foster family in the valley. They pulled her out after a year when another girl in his care accused him of molestation and assault. Turns out he had been abusing Buffy and the other girl but because the file had been sealed I couldn’t find out all the details about that case. They bounced her around through several more homes. When she disappeared at sixteen, they wrote her off and closed the file. I did a little more digging to fill the gap between then and now and uncovered the fact that she had earned her GED at seventeen. I called the night school and they gave me her residence at the time and it matches the one on her drivers license but the place doesn‘t exist.”

“She told me she was at a motel, so that not a surprise. I’ll go back to where I found her and check the ones in the area. I appreciate this Kate.”

“She hasn’t had it easy, so if you need some help with this, you can count me in.”

“I can’t get you involved in this any deeper, given her job. If anyone knew you were helping her it would go badly for you”

“She’s a victim of the system Angel, a system that was designed to protect her. I’m part of that, so I figure I owe her one.”

Since he knew exactly what Buffy thought of being called a victim, he didn’t think bringing in Kate would be a good idea. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t hold her offer in reserve. “I don’t know how she’d feel about me sending cops after her, even friendly ones. But if I can’t find her on my own, I’ll give you all call.”

Three days later after scouring the city for her every night Angel was about to take Kate up on her offer when Buffy came to him. They were knee deep in demons and his team was spread thin so her timing couldn‘t have been more perfect. She was dressed in a pair of black leather pants with a black tank top and to his surprise she wasn‘t alone. In her arms she held a small child with a mop of shaggy brown hair that couldn‘t be older than four or five.

“Are you still in the business of saving people?”

“It’s what I do.” Angel said getting up from behind the desk to walk over to her. “Whose this little guy?”

“His name is Kraken and he’s half demon. I came across a bunch of uglies in uniforms after they had just killed an alley full of people. Most of them looked human but some of the others were clearly not. After I took the bad guys down, I found this little guy hiding behind a dumpster…his parent’s didn’t make it. His grandparents are in town looking for some place called Sanctuary, but he doesn’t know where.”

“I do, Doyle is waiting with some others looking for the same thing. The guys in uniform are pure bred demons called the Scourge and they hunt down and kill all half breeds. I’m working on getting them safe passage out of the city.”

She walked over and sat Kraken on the sofa. “Okay so when the are safe, we go after the demons.”

“No, you can’t fight them, there is simply to many.”

“If you want my help, then we have to atleast try,” she glanced down at the child happily playing on the sofa. “For him.”

“Let’s get him to the others and if you still want to fight after we talk to Doyle, then we will fight.” Angel told her, knowing that Doyle had been right about her. She was selfless and now even Cordy would be able to understand that.

She and Kraken and followed Angel down to the sewer entrance. After nearly an hour they entered the rundown building that Doyle’s earlier vision had led them to where the Lister demons were hiding. Recognizing a familiar face, Kraken pulled her over to where his grandfather was standing. “Grandpop this is Buffy. She saved me from the bad men.”

“I was to late to save the others.” Buffy admitted to him sadly, when she saw gratitude mixed with hope blossom in his eyes.

The Elder Lister picked up his grandson and held him close. “You saved him and that is what is important in times like these. He will find the life his parents wished for him and that is because of you and your friends. We of the Lister clan are in your debt.”

To stunned to say anything, Buffy looked at Angel, unaware that her eyes were begging him to make the sure that happened.

Angel had noticed and his next words were enough to put her at ease. “Another friend of ours is out getting a truck and we will take you to the ship that will get you out of the country.”

He was about to say more but Doyle grabbed his head as a vision overtook him. When it was over Doyle looked at him oddly as if he wasn‘t sure he should what to say. “What did you see?”

“It’s Faith…she’s in trouble.” Doyle confessed miserably. Angel had only confided in him that morning about the day he had given away. He could tell from the talk that they had, that Angel had just made peace with that aspect of his life but now fate had decided to heap on the pain again. “I saw her and her friends fighting against an army of demons and it looks like she needs some help.”

“I’m needed here, I’m the only one who can secure their safe passage. Faith is strong and she has people fighting with her but these people need me. I can‘t just abandon them.” Angel said feeling trapped between the proverbial rock and a hard place. His first instinct was to run to her and help but his brain was telling him that he was needed more here.

“The message might have not been intended for you.” Doyle said sending a sideways glance towards Buffy.

“I can’t ask that and neither can the Powers, it‘s too soon.”

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on and Buffy was hardly an idiot. “You don’t have to ask.”

“You’d go to Sunnydale and help them?” Angel asked feeling like his world was spiraling more out of control with each passing second. She had said she was through with them and had been avoiding him ever since but now she was willing to help. He couldn’t understand what had changed.

“I’m not signing on to play hero full time, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Buffy told him, unable to read the look in his eyes. She didn’t want to get involved. She had a very firm policy about minding her own business but since she had already broke it once by helping the kid, she figured she might as well finish the job she had started. “I would have never found this place without your help. You did me a favor and now I‘m offering to pay you back. I’ll go help out your ex and you’ll help out the kid and we’ll be even. I won’t owe you anything and you won’t owe me anything and we can both get back to our lives.”

At the time, it sounded like a good plan…reasonable even. Buffy wasn’t someone who wanted to be in anyone’s debt and she was in the business of selling her body to pay those debts. Sure the situation called for fighting instead of fucking but that was just semantics. To her it was just another business transaction only instead of getting paid she was bringing the ledger out of the red and back into the black. Once it was done she would get back to her life and nothing would change. She believed that but then again she had no idea that everything would change the moment she arrived in Sunnydale.


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With her clothes and more than a few of her favorite toys secure in the trunk of her rental car, she decided to explore a bit of Sunnydale before going to the address Angel had given her. She wasn’t entirely sure she was this slayer thingy and she didn’t really feel like showing up on someone’s doorstep asking them to believe it. Unaware that she had even done it, she veered off the main sidewalks and headed into the alleyways. By the time she had explored half of the town, which wasn’t very much town to begin with when, she realized that she had retreated into her natural habitat. It wasn’t like she was looking for a john, it was because she just felt more comfortable off of the normally beaten path. For her the alleys, any alley was home and just when she started to believe they were pretty much the same wherever you went, she found herself surrounded by men in full out GI Joe gear complete with a matching black Humvee. “Problem?”

“What are you doing back here?” One asked stepping forward. They had been watching her for an hour and even though they knew she wasn’t a vamp, they knew not all hostiles looked human. As far as they were concerned a tiny little blonde didn’t go wandering through the darkened alleys unless she was looking for trouble.

“Tell me how that’s any of your business?” She said crossly. The tone of his voice told her he was looking to fight, so she figured she might as well speed it along.

“You need to come with us.” He said pulling out a plastic zip tie restraint, that anyone who had seen an episode of Cops would recognize.

“You didn’t say please.” She said assuming her typical fighting stance. Just like she had expected he rushed her and when he found himself knocked flat on his ass, the others being a bit more cautious than their fearless leader rushed her in groups of two.

It didn’t help, in less than ten minutes she had sent them all scurrying back to wherever in the hell they had come from to begin with. It didn’t take her long to see that they were human, so she hadn’t killed any of them. But she had hurt them enough to make them choose retreat over valor. Rolling her neck to release the lingering tension in her shoulders that came with every fight, she heard the sound of footsteps coming her way. Blowing out an impatient sigh, she turned around to face the next wave. To her surprise there was only one man standing there. He was tall and stocky with a wide chest and soft brown hair but just like the others he was all dressed up for war. “I gotta say I was expecting them to send more than just one guy. I mean the others didn’t do so hot, so what in the hell made them think you could get the job done.”

Riley could see her breath in the cold night air, so she wasn’t a vampire but since she hadn’t rushed him right away he had no idea what was going on. “What are you because normal humans don’t attack highly trained demon fighters let alone win.”

“Hey they attacked me.” She protested crossing her arms over her chest. “I just came to town to check on a friends ex and next thing I know I’m being hassled by the secret government police or whatever in the hell you all are.”

“Your friend got a name?” Riley asked getting a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach but not really sure where it was coming from. “Maybe I can help you find whoever you’re looking for, so you can be on your way.”

“His name’s Angel and since he’s a vampire with a soul, I don’t think you know him.”

“He sent you here after Faith?” Riley asked pulling out his baton. “You want her, you gotta go through me.”

“Ratchet down soldier boy, I’m not here for a girl-fight.” Buffy said holding up her hands. It was clear that this was the mysterious Faith’s boyfriend and something told her, slaygal wouldn’t like it if her boy toy got a smack down. She had to work with her to square things with Angel, so it didn’t hurt to try being nice first. “Heard you were having a bit of trouble so Angel sent me here to find someone named Giles. I’m not looking to get your girl back with Angel, I’m just suppose to help in a purely fighting bad guys kinda way.”

“Why should I trust you?”

“Your friends are the ones who punched first so I think that should be my line. But I’ve got an address and one way or another I am going to go there. Now you can walk me there like a gentleman or I can kick your ass and go there myself. But I’m going to go there.” Buffy told him, leaving the choice up to him.

“If you had the address, why are you hanging out in the alley?”

“What can I say, I like the ambiance. Places like this are the closest thing I have to a home.” She admitted with a shrug. “So are we fighting or are we going for a walk?”

Since she hadn’t answered his earlier question, her words had just more or less confirmed the fact she was some kind of demon in his mind. She had taken out a team, so that made her good which meant he didn’t stand a chance. He didn’t like the idea of taking any ‘friend’ of Angel’s to Faith but atleast at Giles’s place he wouldn’t have to fight her alone. Pulling out his cell, he dialed Giles. “Hey it’s Riley, I’m bringing someone who claims to be a friend of Angel’s by your place. Could you get a hold of Faith and have her meet us there?”

After hanging up, Riley gave her a slight nod. “Do you have a name?”

Not really sure why he had phrased it that way, she had to laugh. She tapped her fist against her chest and gave her best Tarzan impression. “You Riley…me Buffy.”

In a cloud of mutual confusion they made they way to Giles’s place. Riley was hoping that Giles could figure out what in the hell was going on and who or what Buffy really was.

Buffy on the other hand was wondering if all of Faith’s friends were as weird as this one, because if they were it wasn’t any wonder that Angel had skipped town.

She had her answer when she was met at the door by a tall man with glasses holding a crossbow. “Doesn’t anyone in this town say hello?” She asked, shaking her head in disbelief. “I take it Angel hasn’t called you yet?”

“Before I put this down, could you tell me why he sent you?” Giles asked, feeling slightly embarrassed about holding the pretty young girl at arrow point.

“His sidekick Doyle got a vision direct from the all seeing Powers and since Angel was already up to his neck with demons he sent me to help.”

“Just exactly how are you suppose to help us?” Faith asked coming up behind Giles.

“I’m pretty useful in a fight, just ask your boy here.” Buffy said jerking her head towards Riley. When Faith clenched her fists and started to step forward, Buffy explained feeling that all she would accomplish is delaying the inevitable. “A bunch of soldiers jumped me and Riley showed up at the end. He wasn’t in a rush to fight first and ask questions later, like his friends, so we talked instead of me kicking his ass.”

“You sound pretty sure that you would have won.” Faith asked pushing past Giles to walk over to stand in front of her.

“If you want to take me on, take your shot. But once I take you down, do you think we can talk about the shit I actually came here to fight with?” Buffy shot back and just as soon as the words had left her mouth, Faith took her up on her offer. She ducked the punch that she had been half expected and went down to sweep her at the leg. When Faith hit the concrete Buffy moved over and placed her knee against her throat pinning her in place. Her face was turned to the right, away from her and since Buffy was applying enough pressure to make breathing difficult she knew Faith didn’t have anyway to counter.

Figuring that she had made her point and because she didn’t feel like being shot, Buffy let Faith up and quickly stepped out of her reach. “I could have snapped your neck or crushed your windpipe but I didn’t so that should at least earn me an invite inside and possibly a cool beverage of some sort.”

“If you think I am going to invite an unknown vampire into my home, you are sadly deluded.” Giles said coldly leaping to the obvious but wrong conclusion about her.

“I’m not a vampire but Angel keeps trying to sell me on the idea that I’m a slayer like your girl here.” Buffy tossed out casually having no idea that particular admission would change her life forever.

6

They all stared at her in shock and since she had nothing else to do she just stared back. She decided right then and there that dealing with these people was like confronting animals in the wild. Which meant that she could never take her eyes off of them and that she should move very slowly as not to startle them. Which after nineteen years in LA, that was a change of pace for her.

“You believe that you are a Chosen One.” Giles asked her, enunciating each world clearly so that there would be no misunderstandings.

“No Angel believes that, and every time I argue with him about it, he gets all bug eyed. Which isn’t exactly a good look for him.” Or you, Buffy added silently, since the man’s eyes were about to pop right out of his skull.

“You and Angel are a couple.” Faith asked not sure how she was suppose to feel about that. She also knew she shouldn’t have asked with Riley standing right there but the words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself. There was no taking them back now.

“I’ll be anyone’s girlfriend if they pay me enough. I’m in the business of selling my love by the hour.” Buffy admitted knowing that it would come up sooner or later. “That’s how I met Angel. He bought me for the night after he saw me stake a vamp. He was more interested in conversation than consummation so don’t worry, he is still all cursed and broody.”

“He paid a hooker to come help me?” Faith asked unable to believe what she was hearing.

“I’m not getting paid which is probably why I am all cranky but I owe him one. So when Doyle got sent the divine headache, Angel couldn’t leave so I offered to fill in, hoping to make us even. Trust me I don’t want your job or your ex. All I want is to get back to my life and I can’t until whatever is making things all tense around here is dealt with. So can you point me in the direction of the big evil so I can be done with this already?” Buffy asked more than willing to handle this alone. She had come here ready to fight and she had somehow found herself trapped in an episode of a bad soap opera. How will our heroine deal with the sexy blonde hooker, her first love sent to save her…tune in next week Buffy mocked, wisely keeping that particular scenario to herself.

She heard the phone ringing somewhere inside the house and she almost sent up a prayer of thanks but since she was certain that the person saving her happened to be a vamp, she didn’t think that was really appropriate. A small redhead with intelligent eyes walked over to the man and said in a soft voice. “It’s Angel.”

Faith turned to walk back in the house, when the red head stopped her. “He wants to talk to her.”

Buffy looked at the man still holding the crossbow, waiting for the final verdict and he stepped back to allow her across the threshold. She had learned from Angel that vamps need a verbal invite, so she barely resisted chuckling at the fact the man had deliberately not given her one. She looked around the casually tasteful space and spotted the telephone near the bar. Walking over she picked it up and skipped all the small talk. “What in the hell have you gotten me into here?”

“Willow said you were there, so what’s wrong?”

“Did she happen to mention that I was being held outside with an arrow pointed at me or did she skip over that little detail?”

“No but I‘ll talk to them about that. Did you meet Faith yet?”

“Been there, fought that. Which is why she’s not really happy with either of us right now.”

“What did I do?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact you think I’m a slayer or maybe she’s not fond of hookers but she sure as hell wasn’t to happy that you didn’t ask to talk to her.” Buffy said not bothering to keep her voice down. “So why don’t you and her have a little chat, so I can get this done and go back to LA, where things are actually normal.”

Without waiting for a reply she turned and offered the phone to Faith. Stepping away to give them some privacy she noticed the other occupants in the room. They was a guy, early twenties with shaggy brown hair and no fashion sense sitting very close to a perky brunette who seemed as lost as she was. The girl Angel had called Willow had moved over to stand next to a timid little blonde with big brown doe eyes She could tell by their body language that they were a couple and not just friends. Riley was in the doorway, his heart clearly in his eyes as he watched his woman quietly converse with her ex and the guy with the crossbow was standing near the stairs. Thankfully he had decided to lower the crossbow, but he was still looking at her like she might go psycho at any second.

There was another man in the room with a shade of blonde hair not known to nature, sitting away from the group looking at her like he was wondering what she tasted like. There was desire in his eyes which was something she was used to. Which it was actually comforting to see, in a way but judging by the slight tingle on the back of her neck, she was guessing that he was more interested in the blood under her skin than the body covering it.

Noticing that he had the girl’s full attention, Spike gave her a quick wink. “See anything you like, luv?”

Since he was the first person she had talked to so far that hadn’t threatened her, she sent him a warm smile. “Just appreciating the view.”

What a brazen little chit, he thought arching an eyebrow. “Let me know if you want a closer look, because I‘d be happy to oblige.”

“Sorry lover but I don’t feed any vampire. Not even the pretty ones like you.” She said with an easy shrug.

“How did you know what he was?” Giles asked in open amazement. Looking around at the others he could see everyone, even Spike was taken aback by her announcement,

“I know what a man wants when he looks at me, and that one there isn’t thinking about sex, but blood.” Buffy said simply, not seeing what the big deal was. He was sitting here with them, so it couldn‘t be that big of a surprise, she reasoned. “Besides he just feels like a vamp but don’t ask me to explain that, because I can‘t.

“I can pet, you’re a slayer.” Spike said, enamored by her. She was feisty and it was obvious that she didn’t give a damn about what any of the others thought about her. Which after dealing with Faith was a refreshing change. It was amazing that Faith ever managed to slay anything considering how much time the girl spent trying to be exactly what she thought her friends and Watcher wanted her to be, Spike thought disgustedly.

“Not you too,” Buffy said huffing out deep breath. “I’m getting pretty tired of vampires with souls trying to tell me how to live my damn life.”

“Spike doesn’t have a soul.” Anya informed her. “He has a chip so he can’t hurt people. Which is why we haven’t dusted him yet.”

She could see why that seemed like a good policy to humans but to her it just really didn’t seem fair. She wasn’t for letting vamps eat people but from the way it sounded it would be more humane to just dust him. “Why did you all do that to him, I mean did he ask for it?”

“No I didn’t bloody well ask for it!” Spike told her curtly. “Captain America and his soldier boys decided to make me their sodden science project.”

“No offense Riley, cuz you’ve been downright decent to me but you soldier guys seem like nothing more than bad guys on a power trip.”

“You’re actually siding with Spike on this?” Riley asked more than a little outraged. “He kills people and if you are a slayer it’s your job to dust him and his kind. They are the bad guys not us.”

“He’s a vampire, that’s what they do.” Buffy said calmly, betting that he was really talking about Angel. He was clearly in love with Faith and she could understand why he had some personal issues with vamps in general. But she still had a point to make and a few personal issues of her own. “Good guys don’t attack an unarmed woman for no reason. I didn’t do a single thing wrong and I was all alone, obviously not hurting anyone and they still started a fight with me. If they were good guys they would have passed me over and went looking for someone who was doing something wrong. Besides If vampires were such bad guys they would dust them instead of playing mad scientist. It gets rid of the problem and it is a hell of a lot better than trapping them inside their own bodies.” She broke off for a moment to look at the vampire in question. “I betting you all didn‘t expect Spike here. to play human. So you either planned on letting him starve to death or you had another use for him in mind. The first is just cruel and the second is a prime example of what happens when people in a position of power become corrupted. So which did you and your friends have in mind?”

Since it was obvious that she had no idea about the Initiative or the evil monster they created, it was hard for Riley to argue. Everything she had said was true and after what had happened with Oz, he had often thought the same thing.

Noticing that the girl had put soldier boy in his place, Spike shot her a look of pure admiration. He couldn’t believe that she had not only defended him but had actually understood what it was like for him now. Here she was this beautiful slip of a girl and she had stood up for him in a room full of strangers knowing that her opinion wouldn’t exactly go over well.

The world would be a better place with more people like her, even he a soulless creature could see that, despite the fact she was a slayer. But if she signed on with this lot, then Adam would kill her right along with them. Thinking about his secret alliance with Adam, Spike had to ask himself if this one girl was worth losing his one chance to have the chip removed. That was the real question, the only question.

7

“He wants to talk to you again,” Faith said cutting through the tension in the room. Angel had told her about Buffy but it was a lot to process and her defending Spike wasn’t really a point in her favor.

“Siding with the vampires isn‘t about to make you any friends there.” Angel said seconds after Buffy said hello. He had heard her speech and although he agreed, he knew first hand how unfriendly the Scoobies were towards the undead.

“Says the vampire who got me into this mess in the first place.” She said with a light laugh. “Besides I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to kick a little ass. Got any idea when that might be happening or even if the others are going to let me join their little playgroup?”

“Faith is going let you stay but please try to play nice with the others. Not Spike, him you can hate or even stake but atleast try to show the others the same kind of courtesy that you showed me and mine.”

“I already knocked Faith on her ass, just like I did you. But if they want to see me naked, they are not getting a free show like you and your pal Doyle.” Buffy teased hoping to put him at ease.

“Very funny.” He said dryly.

“I try, so how are things going on your end of the line?”

“I’m still working on the ship, it might take a day or two but we got the place mystically warded to keep them safe. Nothing can come in without an invite so everything will be okay until then.”

“Don’t get yourself dusted because you promised to take me Scourge hunting when I get back.” She reminded him noting, that he had avoided telling her how long this was going to take.

“You too Buffy, the way Faith talked things are really bad around there.”

“I am all kinds of careful, safety first…it’s my motto.” Knowing that there was nothing else to say, she hung up and turned back to the others. “So now what kids?”

“I believe that you are indeed a slayer but before we discuss what we are dealing with, I think we should evaluate your abilities.” Giles said taking control of the situation.

“Not really an issue but since this is your party, I’ll play. So since I already handled Faith who do I take on next?” Buffy asked stretching her body feeling more than ready for a little action.

“If I don’t intend to hurt you, the chip they shoved in my brain doesn’t fire. So we can spar and let the others get an idea about how you handle” Spike volunteered, wanting to try out this slayer plus looking for any chance to see what she felt like under his hands.

“Works for me but this isn’t exactly the perfect place for a fight, even a mock one.”

“We’re about a block away from the football field, we could test you there.” Giles said reaching for his coat.

______________________________________________

They decided to walk to the football field and on the way there Faith introduced Buffy to the others. Buffy wouldn’t have called her actions overly friendly but since they weren’t exactly hostile either, she figured it was better to be somewhere in the middle. She listened to the conversations taking place around her but her mind was already focusing on the fight ahead. When she fought the rest of her mind just clicked off and even though this was just pretend, nothing had changed.

Spike watched her out of the corner of his eyes. She moved with an natural grace that Faith seemed to lack. If he had to guess he would say it was because Buffy was completely comfortable in her own skin and life. Faith would never find that as long as she kept denying what she was and pretending that she was just a normal girl. Nothing about being a slayer was normal and everything he had seen from Buffy far said she wasn’t the type of girl to hide what she was for any reason. She admitted that she was a prostitute, not with pride but with a total lack of shame and that was a different matter entirely. If she felt ashamed than that meant she believed she was doing something wrong and since he highly doubted any woman in her line of work did it because they loved the job, he was betting it was something she had to do to survive. He understood that and as he watched the familiar look of a predator fill her soft green eyes, he understood that as well. Summers could pretty it up all she liked but even the word Slayer, meant one who killed. The slayer may only hunt demons and the like but she was still a killer. Death was exactly the same and it didn’t change if the person was innocent or guilty, it was still death. Faith didn’t see it that way but this new slayer did in clear and brutally honest detail.

Maybe that was why she had understood his situation so quickly, he thought crossing across the field to face off with her. “You ready to dance pet?”

“I’ll let you lead lover,” She said with a saucy wink.

The others watched them spar from the sidelines and despite herself Faith was impressed. When she had beaten her so quickly at the house she had been convinced it was a fluke but now she was certain it wasn’t. “How did she get so good in only two years? I been doing this a lot longer and she has me beat hands down.”

“I don’t know but after what you said about her life, I believe that might have something to do with it.” Giles said thinking on all the things Faith had told him on the way over. “She’s doesn’t have your form. You fight lyrically, almost like a dancer with each step precise and measured. While she has a certain brutal grace that at times seems untamed and wild and at others ruthlessly controlled. It makes her unpredictable in battle which is not necessarily an asset. I also doubt she is proficient with any weapon other than a stake, given the fact that she had not been trained.”

“I don’t get that, I mean how did the Council miss another slayer being called?” Xander asked. “After Kendra it couldn’t have been that big of a surprise.”

“I don’t know,” Giles admitted. “But now that we know, we have to contact them so that they can send her a Watcher.”

“Something tells me she isn’t going to like that and I don’t think they will be thrilled when they hear what she has been up to for the last couple of years.” Faith said trying to imagine Quentin Travers reaction to that bit of news.

“They don’t call it the worlds oldest profession for nothing,” Giles told her archly recalling at least one slayer in recent history known to be a lady of the night. “As for having a Watcher, she doesn’t really have a choice in the matter. But I am sure that the Council will pay her a stipend that will keep her from returning to her profession.”

“Look at them.” Riley interrupted with both fear and awe coating his words. “Do you think we should break them up before one of them gets hurt?”

Buffy hadn’t forgotten that she wasn’t suppose to hurt Spike but it seemed to her like he had forgotten he wasn’t trying to kill her. She didn’t really believe that but if it was the case she didn’t really mind. Other than the Scourge she hadn’t really gotten in all that many full of battles and even then, they had relied on numbers instead of actual skill. Spike on the other hand had all kinds of skill and he was making her work for every blow she landed. She had to hand it to him, he was good but she knew inside that if this was for real, she would be the one to walk away.

The second the thought entered her mind, Spike landed a solid kick in her abdomen throwing her back several feet. When she hit the ground hard with a soft thud muffled by the thick grass, her need to give as good as she got overwhelmed every other though in her mind.

She had been so damn good, that he lost himself in the fight. His beast had taken over revealing his true face, called by the unmistakable challenge. Causing him to temporarily forget that he wasn’t trying to kill her. Atleast until the second after she went flying backwards.

He braced himself for the chip to fire and when it didn’t he was confused. But since she hadn’t gotten up yet, his concern overwhelmed every other thought in his mind. Running the short distance between them, he bent down to help her to her feet.

Catching him off guard, she caught his leg and pulled him down to the ground. Shoving him down hard she slid her body over his, pressing her legs firmly against his outer thighs, effectively trapping him in place.

In a daze, he saw her reach into her boot. When he saw the stake in her hand coming at him in a nearly invisible blur of speed, he knew that he was seconds away from becoming dust in the wind, He also knew that there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop it.

He felt the tip of the stake press against his chest and he closed his eyes waiting for the sharp pain that would signal the end of his unnaturally long life. Instead her felt her lips, plump and moist firmly press against his. He opened his mouth instinctively and felt her tongue slide in to explore his mouth. It burned him alive from the inside out and for a moment he believed that she had staked him after all.

Pulling away Buffy looked down at him and gave him a wicked smile. “That was amazing lover and the kiss wasn’t bad either.”

She didn’t know it, but that kiss given in the heat of the moment had convinced him that she was worth risking anything for, even if that meant he would never be the man he used to be. With her still on his lap, pressed against him intimately with her skin slicked with a light sheen of sweat as if they had just made love instead of nearly killing each other, Spike knew he had made the right choice. Buffy Winters didn’t know it yet but he had just fallen head over heels in love with her. Come hell or Walsh’s monster, he vowed that she would never take another dollar from a man seeking to enjoy her body. She was now his and whatever it took, he intended to convince her of that.

8.
“What in the hell are you?” Faith asked running up to the couple still are the ground.

“Are we back to that again?” Buffy asked getting off of Spike. If they were going to fight again, she wanted to be on her feet. “I was as normal as anyone else in this fucked up world and then two years ago I suddenly got all strong without a single radioactive spider bite to show for it.”

“Try again, Spike’s head should still be hurting after that last kick but he didn’t get so much as a buzz from the chip. So that means you’re evil.” Faith told her crossing her arms over her chest.

“There is another option, the chip could have broken.” Riley said calmly. He saw Faith’s point but he couldn’t help but think she was looking for any reason to hate Angel’s, attractive new slayer.

“Hit me Spike and let’s get back to my point.” Faith ordered him.

Since he was tired of the bint constantly harping on Buffy he was more than willing to take a little pain on her behalf. He was more than a bit curious about the chip as well. If it was broken, he was happy and if Buffy was evil, well that just made her more perfect for him. So either way this turned out, it was a win/win situation he decided. “With pleasure,” he said smugly, seconds before driving his fist into Faith’s face. His head trembled from the lightning storm shooting through his brain but as painful as it was, it was worth it.

“See pain,” Faith said as if that should explain everything. “Now hit her and let’s see if we get some fireworks.”

“You are just a walking contradiction,” Buffy said with a light snort of distaste. “You fuck one vamp and then send him to hell and keep another on a leash and enjoy making him feel pain. All the while you claim to be a good little girl when I know a few john that would pay you are small fortune to let you indulge your obsession with pain on their more than willing bodies.”

“You’re just jealous because Angel didn’t want to buy anything other than your time.” Faith told her snidely, bristling at the mention of her ex.

“If Angel didn’t want to fuck me why in the hell do you think he told me about the curse?” Buffy shot back, pleased to see the girl blanche. She wasn’t usually amused at seeing others in pain but Faith had been riding her hard ever since she had shown up and she was finally fed up. “I get that you think you have suffered like no other, but it’s a little hard to feel sorry for you after the shit I just left in LA. I’ve seen people starve to death because they can’t afford to buy food and I’ve seen people die because it’s 100 fucking degrees outside and they don’t have any place they can go to escape the heat. Just yesterday I found a kid hiding behind a dumpster after a group of nazi demons slaughtered his parents in front of him, because they weren’t fans of his mixed heritage. So your emotional trauma doesn’t mean shit to me because from what I’ve see you’ve got it pretty good here. You’ve got sexy soldier boy here, a pack of friends and even your very own British guy and no offense but you don’t exactly look like your starving. I don’t want your ex or your destiny so back off already, because this is your last warning.”

“I can’t help but notice you didn’t protest about being called evil?” Faith told her wanting to knock her down a peg or two. Buffy seemed entirely too full of herself and it was time someone put her in her place.

“I told your ex I didn’t have a soul sugar, and since I’m certain I never had one to begin with, I’m not about to waste time trying to be whoever you expect me to be. I know exactly who I am, so why don’t you spend your time trying to figure out who in the hell you are and what you want instead of worrying about what I’m after. You want to know something about me, just ask. You’re going to get the truth instead of a pretty lie so you’d better decide if you can handle it before you open your big mouth.”

“You have a soul,” Tara said quietly, uncomfortable in the spotlight but more uncomfortable with their fighting. “I can read your aura but it’s unlike any I have ever seen in a living person before.”

“What do you mean?” Buffy asked gently, hoping not to send her scare the girl Tara looked like she would jump at her own shadow but for the first time someone in this place had finally done something interesting. “How do know I have a soul?”

“Everything has a aura and if you were soulless like Spike, your aura would have a shadow over it. The more evil a person is the darker the shadow. Yours doesn’t have a shadow but it’s not complete clear either. It’s like you’re completely neutral, in the gray area between good and evil but that’s nnn…no..not possible.” Tara stammered out quickly, not wanting to upset her.

“Tell that to Switzerland, because they didn’t get the memo.” Buffy said giving the girl a warm smile to put her at ease. It looks like not all of Faith’s friends were willing to hate her on sight, she thought.

“Everyone‘s aura is more one way or the other. Even people who are good have a few shadowed places. It’s like dark spots on an apple, those areas are bad or damaged but the rest of the apple is still good. The opposite is true as well. Even though Spike is evil, he has a few places in his aura that are clear.” Tara explained slowly, her voice taking on a soothing cadence.

“You said you’ve never seen an aura like mine in a living person before, so that means you seen something like it in a undead ones…right?” Buffy asked and even though she didn’t know a thing about mysticism, Tara had a knack for explaining so that anyone could understand. A skill she was grateful for at the moment, Buffy that giving her an encouraging smile.

“The only time I have ever seen an aura like yours was at my mother’s funeral. When we die, our auras start to fade and until tonight I didn’t know a living person could have an aura like that. You have to…well…”

Since she knew what Tara was trying to avoid saying, Buffy let her off the hook. “Be dead or atleast dead on the inside. I mentioned that to Angel to but he didn’t believe it either. So don’t worry you’re not telling me something I didn’t already know.”

“You sound awfully proud of being nothing more than a walking corpse.” Faith said not understanding how cruel it was to say.

Tara knew and she didn’t care for it one bit. She wanted Willow‘s best friend to like her but she couldn‘t let her make things any harder for Buffy. Knowing how much suffering and pain it would have taken to fade her aura so much, nearly broke her own heart. “She doesn’t understand what it is like to have to let go of yourself one piece at a time until there is nothing left but your will to survive. You must be incredibly strong to have handled that alone for so very long. Most people wouldn‘t have.”

“That’s what I’m good at…surviving.” Buffy said easily, liking Tara for not offering sympathy or treating her like a victim. Tara obviously had a kind heart and even though she wasn’t looking to make friends, she felt better knowing that people like her weren’t a myth after all. “But since that answers the big is she evil or not debate, I’m going to call it a night.”

“Do you have a place to stay?” Tara offered, unable to just let her go. As far as she was concerned she had been alone long enough.

“You’re a peach but I’m better at saving others than being saved.” Buffy said after a few seconds. “I got a room at the motel near the highway but I will meet back up with you at Giles’s place about dusk.”

“What will you do the rest of the day?” Tara asked unwilling to give up on her like everyone else in her life.

“I’m used to working nights, so I’m planning on spending the day in bed.” Buffy said wanting to remind Tara that she wasn’t dealing with some innocent kid she had found on her doorsteps but an woman chock full of sinful deeds and acts.

“You want some company, pet?” Spike asked before he could stop himself.

“I told you lover, I don’t play entrée.” Buffy said simply and since Giles seemed to be very close to having a heart attack as it was, she decided she was due a break from the streets as well. “I’m not looking to get paid while I’m in town, so that means sex is out as well.”

“That is probably for the best.” Giles said instantly relieved. “If you like we can go back to the house and I can give you a ride to your hotel.”

“Thanks, but I gotta rental around here somewhere and since this is hardly the big city, I sure I can find it. See you tomorrow slayer and company.” She gave them an airy wave and blew Spike a quick kiss for his offer, before making her way back to where she was sure her car was waiting.

The second she was out of earshot, Faith whirled on Tara. “How could you offer to let her stay with you!”

“How could you be so mean to her!” Tara shot back angrily surprising everyone, even herself. “Do you have any idea what it must be like for her? Her life must have been a living hell if she had to make herself empty inside just to survive. She won’t let herself feel anything even love or happiness because the second she does she knows the pain will overwhelm her. She has every reason to use that as an excuse to hurt others and if she was a lesser person she would have. But she didn’t’.”

“How do know she hasn’t.” Faith told her coldly. “Angel only found her a couple of days ago and before that she could have been killing people or beating people up left and right! I know you think she‘s neutral but there is every chance that you made some sort of mistake or read her wrong.”

“If that was true she wouldn’t be here right now. We have given her every reason to leave but she is still willing to help us because of whatever promise she made to Angel.” Tara calmed herself down by taking several deep breaths and gave Faith a measuring look. “If we don’t let her help, she will go after Adam alone and probably get herself killed. Do you really want that to happen just because you don’t like the fact she is friends with your ex boyfriend?”

“You don’t know anything about what happened between me and Angel. So what makes you think that, has anything to do with this? You may buy the hooker with a heart of gold act, but I don‘t.”

“Willow told me what a nice person you are and the first time we I knew she was right. And when she told you about my abilities you were more than eager to let me help you out any way I could. But ever since you heard that Angel sent her, you’ve gone out of your way to be mean to her. She has beat you and Spike both in a fair fight and still you don’t want her help. So if it isn’t because of Angel then that means you aren’t the person Willow has told me about or the person I thought you were.”

“She’s right Faith, it isn‘t like you to be mean.” Willow said stepping forward to stand beside Tara. “I’m not saying that we should swear her in as an official Scooby, but it couldn’t hurt to get to know her before we decide we can‘t trust her. I mean you weren‘t a big fan of Kendra at first either so maybe you can like this new one as well.”

“I gotta side with the wiccas on this one Faith,” Xander said casting his vote in Buffy’s favor. “She’s a little rough around the edges but we let Spike help so why not give her a chance as well? I mean for one thing she‘s actually alive and not a blood thirsty killer and for another she is another slayer when we have a big bad just waiting to be slain.”

“What do you think Giles?” Faith asked knowing that he was the one who had the final say in the matter. If he sided with her, then Buffy would be packing her bags and heading back to LA tonight or she would get to stay her. Which would give me one more reason to take out Adam as quickly as possible, Faith thought glumly.

“I think she came at a time when we could use her help. The Powers named her as a Champion which means she deserves the benefit of the doubt.” Knowing how hard this must be for his slayer, he laid a hand on her shoulder. “I believe we could do this without her, because you have proved yourself several times already Faith. She doesn’t have your level of experience because she has never faced something like this before. But I would hate for someone to get hurt simply because we have a personal aversion to what she does for a living.”

“Fine, she can stay. But if she turns evil, you all are in for a great big I told you so.” Faith said giving in, knowing that the majority had spoken.

Less than an hour later, Buffy was lying on her big but not so comfy bed flipping through channels when she heard a knock at the door. Getting up she walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. Opening it, she leaned against the door jam. “I think you got your slayers confused, just in case you forgot, yours is the bitchy brunette. So what brings you to my door Riley?

9.

"Why do you think I’m here?” Riley asked her awkwardly.

“Honey, I know how to gage the clientele and you’re so sweet you're nothing but a box of sugar with legs. Guys like you don’t come looking for girls like me, so why don’t you tell why you really dropped by.”

He had no experience with girls like her, so he was relieved that she hadn’t thrown herself on him the moment she opened the door. Like she had guessed, he wasn’t here for sex. “I think you know what I want to talk about.”

“Angel or more specifically what Angel is thinking about your girl?” She said stepping back to let him inside. When he seemed uncomfortable, she gave him a quick wink. “Don’t worry, I won’t compromise your morals or your relationship.”

He walked inside and since the only available seating in the room was the bed, he decided to remain standing. “You said that if we asked you something you would tell us the truth…did you mean it?”

Knowing what he was going to ask but not how she ended up in this situation, she decided to just get it over with as quickly as possible. “He isn’t still in love with her or atleast not that I can tell. Going by what he told me, I think they just lost themselves for awhile in the pain and passion of it all. Now that they have had some time apart it was easier to see that they don’t fit as well as they thought.”

“He may be over her but I’m not so sure she is over him.” Riley admitted knowing full well that Angel was only half his problem.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, you didn’t see the fire in her eyes when I called you ‘sexy soldier boy’.”

“And you didn’t see the way she completely ignored me while she and the others tried to decide what to do with you. It was like my opinion wasn’t important and I bet she never left him out of the loop.”

Since he wasn’t a bad guy, she took pity on him and decided to throw him a bone. “That could be because Angel’s not the kind of guy to let alone leave him out of the loop.”

“I don’t get what you all see in him.” Riley said thinking that she was only being so nice because she wanted Angel for herself.

“Whoa, I am starting to get tired of telling you people that I don’t want him. I don‘t do relationships that last longer than an hour.” Buffy said flopping down on the bed. She didn‘t see what he saw in Faith but then again, she was betting she wasn‘t always a bitch. Nope, that was probably just a special Buffy Winters bonus. “I was talking about you Riley. Did you say something or did you just let her have it her way?”

“She’s the slayer, it’s her destiny and she and the others…”

“Spare me the excuses,” Buffy said cutting him off. “Believe it or not, relationships are all the same. It doesn’t matter if you pay for them or not. All that does matter is that, if you don’t say what you want or what you’re not willing to do, it’s not going to go anywhere. Angel and Faith don’t fit because they are both so puffed up with their own self importance, that they can’t make room for each other in their lives. To make it work you’ve got to not only meet her as an equal but also let her know that doesn‘t make her any less. It just puts you on the same playing field, so to speak.”

“I don’t know how to do that.” Riley admitted sadly, feeling like his relationship was well and truly doomed.

“You’re a normal guy and you’re letting her power make you believe that you are somehow less than her. I was normal a lot longer than I had superpowers and not once did I let someone get away with making me feel like I was beneath them. The longer you let her treat you like you don’t matter, the more she will keep shoving you out. Tell her what you need and if she can’t treat you as an equal then you don’t fucking need her.” Buffy said bringing her knees up to her chest.

“You sound like someone whose been through this.”

“I go through it every time I take a john. They tell me what they want and if it’s not something I do then they find someone else. If it is something I do, I give them what they want and they give me what I need. That makes us equal in my book because both of us get what we need or want and everyone is happy.” Buffy said with a shrug.

“You don’t talk like...well like a…”

“You can say it Riley. It’s not exactly a dirty word and since it’s the truth it doesn’t count as an insult.” Buffy chided him lightly, as a slight red blush crept up his neck. She thought Faith was a fool for treating him like a accessory but since it was her life, that wasn‘t her problem.

“Like a prostitute.” He said, thinking that sounded a lot less insulting that the other terms.

“I have my GED and if higher education wasn’t quite so costly, I would have probably gone on and taken a couple classes. But it was hard enough to pay for night school let alone four more years.”

“I heard Faith give Giles a brief version of your life story but why didn’t you try getting a normal job like other sixteen year olds?”

She laughed but even to her ears it sounded harsh and bitter in the small room. Why was it that people instantly assume that hooking was her first choice when it came to deciding a future career? She wondered if it was just her or if that was just the general consensus. “I got a job working in a diner. It was open twenty-four hours a day and I had the nightshift so I could work longer than the law really allowed. Even with the extra hours I always had to decide which I wanted more, a place to sleep or something to eat. I hung on six months and every night around 3 am a bunch of working girls would show up flashing a lot of bills. When my weight slipped below a hundred pounds and the rent was due I realized my morals weren’t doing anything but keeping me on the brink of starvation, so I just let go. It wasn’t that hard, even the first night because I know that I was always meant to be on the streets. When I was little about five or six my mom used to send me out to meet her dealer and if the state hadn’t stepped in, she would have started sending me out to meet a john just to help her feed her drug habit. So in a way it was like coming full circle, only I was the one getting fed.”

His own upbringing had made it impossible for him to imagine a world where a parent, any parent, would sell their own child. But he knew that it happened everyday. It was something everyone knew but just ignored as they went along in their normal lives. For her that was normal and it wasn‘t a surprise that she ended up ignoring the kind of life he led. “If the state stepped in, why didn’t you have some other choice?”

“In my first home, the man of the house had a thing for girls around my age. I lost my virginity at eight against my choice. So atleast now I have a lot more choices about who comes into my bed and who doesn‘t.” She said emotionlessly as if she was talking about the latest episode of must see TV. She had said no pretty lies and she meant it. She had no problem talking about her life. She had figured out a long time ago if you’re afraid to admit where you’ve been then you're no longer the one in control. Control, was something very important to her.

Tara had been right, it was amazing that she had survived, Riley thought with admiration. He also felt sorry for her but everything about her posture said that wasn‘t something she wanted or expected to hear. But she had helped him see a few things, so he knew of atleast one way to make it up to her.

She saw him reach for his wallet and although she appreciated the gesture, she wasn’t about to accept. “Unless you plan of letting me screw you senseless don’t even reach for your money.”

“As tempting as that sounds, I don’t think my girlfriend would care for that too much. But you gave me some pretty good advice, saving me from paying a fortune to some therapist, who would constantly ask ‘how does that make you feel‘. So I’m paying you instead, it makes us equal.” Riley said throwing her own words back at her.

“Sorry but you did me a favor earlier by taking me to Giles and the others so our little therapy session evens us up.”

He knew that it was a losing battle since hard headedness seemed to be a part of the slayer package but he wasn’t ready to give in just yet. Checking out the room, looking for inspiration he spotted a pack of playing cards on the bedside table. “How about a game of cards?”

Since she had no doubt he intended to lose, she was about to refuse and send him on his way, when there was another knock at the door. Quickly getting up, she crossed to the door and looked through the peephole expecting to see one very pissed off slayer. To her surprise it was someone else, which gave her a brilliant idea. Opening the door only part way, she leaned forward and gave Spike a sultry smile. “Hello lover.”

“I thought I would see if you were up for a bit of company, pet. Since I was in the neighborhood and all.”

“You’re just in time,” she said opening the door wide enough to reveal Riley. “Come on in. We were just about to play a game of poker.”

“What are you doing here Finn?” Spike asked striding through the doorway.

“He was in the neighborhood making sure I made it home unharmed. He felt guilty about his friends attacking me earlier and when I spotted him checking up on me, I invited him in for a game.” Buffy lied smoothly, walking over to grab the deck of cards. She was honest but she wasn’t above lying to keep Riley out of trouble. He hadn‘t done anything wrong, so the least she could do is give him a decent alibi, she decided. “So are you in?”

Since that sounded exactly like something Riley would do, Spike calmed down marginally. He should have known that the boy scout wouldn’t actually proposition a strumpet and he was also keen on winning some of his hard earned cash. If he couldn’t hit him, trouncing him at cards was the next best thing. “What’s the game ?”

“California lowball, no limit and since this is just a friendly game we won‘t have a buy-in.” She reached into her suitcase to pull out a giant bag of assorted jellybeans. They were the kind you could only get from a candy store. Since they were one of her little luxurious, she had picked some up knowing that she wouldn’t be able to find them here. “The white beans are ones, the cherry tens, the lime are twenty-five and the licorice, being my favorite are worth one hundred.”

“I’ve been to a few casinos in my time and those are the same colors the house always uses. So it’s looks like you have been to a few as well.” Spike said noting how at ease she seemed to be with the cards and terms.

Thankfully she was spared from answering by another knock at the door. “You all start separating out the chips while I see who it is now.” With a very put upon sigh she went to see which mystery guest was waiting behind door number one. Looking through the peephole, she made that guests and opened the door. “Let me guess, you were just in the neighborhood?”

“We talked it over and decided that we owed you an apology for not being really friendly earlier. And since you don’t really know anyone, we thought you might like some company.” Tara said glancing at Willow.

“If you like we can talk about orgasms?” Anya said sincerely, ignoring Xander’s shocked hiss.

“Sorry about Ahn, she used to be a vengeance demon and she’s not used to the social niceties yet.” Xander said a little sheepishly. “So are you alone…I mean is now a good time?”

“As a matter of fact there are two devastatingly attractive men sitting on my bed, but I don’t see a problem with adding a few more. The more the merrier right?” She teased throwing the door open with a flourish. “I believe you all know each other

10
They spent most of the night playing and since it was Friday and no-one had to work the next morning, they played part way into the morning as well. Which would have been fine, except for the knock on the door at a quarter till six AM. Even before Buffy opened the door, she knew who would be standing there. “I had a feeling you would come wandering this way, Faith.”

“Where are they?” Faith demanded coldly.

Instead of answering Buffy opened the door, revealing what had been a fun and light hearted scene only moments ago. But at Faith’s arrival, you would think she had walked on them after they had just committed a murder. Everyone except for Spike looked like they had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar and Buffy had a funny feeling she would be the one to get all the blame.

“I though you didn’t want my life but it’s looks like you just moved right on in.” Faith accused her tersely.

“Hey this is my room, they all came to me.” Buffy protested with a roll of her eyes. Judging by Faith’s clenched fists, she had a pretty idea she was going to throw a punch before to much longer. But that just gave her another idea. “Well all of them except for Riley. I came across him while I was looking for my car and asked if he could come with me incase his commando friends showed back up.”

When Faith glared at him accusingly, Riley quickly saw what Buffy was trying to do. “It was the least I could do,” he said with a casual shrug.

“I don’t think she was looking for your protection, I think she was hoping to get inside your wallet.” Faith said crisply.

“I told you I wasn’t looking to get paid while I was in town.” Buffy add a low throaty purr to her voice and looked down Riley, like he was everything she had ever wanted and more. “But I never said I wouldn’t take in the local sights.”

“You hit on my boyfriend?” Faith asked, flooded with jealousy.

“I was tempted but since for some reason, he actually seems to be in love with you, I let it go.” Buffy said filling her voice with regret. “Spike was waiting outside when we pulled up and Riley didn’t feel right leaving me alone with him. You’re a lucky girl Faith, he’s really a one of a kind.”

“I know exactly how lucky I am so you just stay away from him!” Faith said turning to look at her.

She missed Riley’s pleased smile but Buffy didn’t and she decided she done one good deed for the day so you might as well keep going. “Even if I wanted him, I don’t stand a chance and I only start fights I know I can win. So don’t worry he’s safe from the likes of me.”

“Now tell her the truth Buffy.” Riley said, deciding now was the perfect time to fight his own battles.

“What is he talking about?” Faith asked her.

“You want to know you ask him.” Buffy said walking over to sit back on the bed. She had no idea what was going through Riley’s head but just in case she wanted out of striking distance.

“Riley?”

“I came here looking to ask her about Angel. She didn’t even make a pass at me.”

“If you wanted to know something about Angel why didn’t you ask me?”

“You know, it’s kinda early and it’s going to be a long day…so I think it’s about time to go.” Xander said getting up off of the floor.

“Yeah, busy day ahead better go get some sleep while we can.” Willow said while she and the others fled the room like rats trying to escape a sinking ship.

“Aren’t you two going to give us some privacy?” Faith asked Spike and Buffy.

“It looks to me like, solider boy finally found his stones and I wouldn’t want to miss that.” Spike said making himself comfortable on the bed.

“It’s my place so you two want to quarrel you can take it outside or pretend I’m not here.” Buffy said laying her head down on the pillow. Like Spike, she didn‘t really want to miss this. “Don’t worry I’m a really sound sleeper so you two aren’t bothering me a bit…stay as long as you like.”

Since leaving felt like running, Faith decided that she and Riley would have it out right here. “Why didn’t you ask me about Angel? Why did you have to come to her?”

“Because unlike you, she told me the truth. Xander told me about Angel’s trigger when he helped me relocate to the high school. We got to talking and somehow we ended up talking about Angel and he let it slip thinking I already knew.”

“No wonder he ran out of here, he is the deadest man in all of deadonia.” Faith muttered murderously.

“How I found out isn’t the point, what is important is the fact that you didn’t tell me.”

“I know you’re sensitive about Angel, so I wanted to spare you…”

That was the wrong thing to say, Riley thought feeling anger pump into his blood. “I’m not someone you have to protect Faith. I may not have your powers but I am not less than you. I was fighting demons before I met you and it wasn’t like I was a virgin. But it isn‘t my past that keeps cropping up to bite you in the ass but yours. I am tired of being pushed out of your life a little more each day. I deserve more than that and if you can‘t give me that, then I‘m not about to stick around.”

“So what, she’s in town one day and suddenly our relationship isn’t good enough for you!”

“This isn’t about her Faith, this is about you. Last night after she left did you bother asking me what I thought about her, like you did the others?” Riley shot back.

“I didn’t think…”

“That’s right, you didn’t think about me for a second. Tell me Faith how long did it take you to figure out I hadn’t been home all night or even if you knew at all? Because right now I’m thinking you came looking for the others and I just happened to be here as well. You never thought about me until she got you jealous. So I guess I should really ask you if that was because you loved me or just because you didn’t like her playing with your favorite toy?”

“You know I love you Riley.”

“You keep saying that, but I don’t feel it. I can be holding you in my arms and it’s like you’re not there. You called Buffy a walking corpse but sometimes I think you’re more dead inside than she will ever be…because at least she can admit to it.”

“What do you want me to admit Riley, just what do you want me to say that will fix this.” Faith asked on the verge of tears.

“Admit that you’re not over him or even that you are afraid to let yourself love me. Just admit to whatever it is that just keeps holding you back so that we can face it together or I am going to walk out of that door right now and this is over.” Riley said giving her a choice about where their relationship would go from here.

“I don’t do ultimatums Riley. If you want to leave, I’m not about to stop you.”

“That answers that,” he said walking to the door. “You don’t love me enough to ask me to stay. Goodbye Faith.”

Faith watched him walk out of the door, out of her life and she knew exactly whose fault it was. “Are you happy, you won.”

Buffy told herself that it wasn’t her problem, that she shouldn’t get involved but nothing she told herself could make her forget the broken look in Riley’s eyes. “I’m not the one who just let the man I love walk out. So Faith are you happy, you won the battle but lost the war.”
“What are you talking about?”

Buffy got up and walked over to stand in front of Faith. “I know about you and Angel. He walked away without giving you a chance to stop him. I bet that pissed you off but I am going to tell you the same thing I told him. If he loved you as much as he said he did, he never would have been able to walk away. Riley isn’t like Angel, he wasn’t walking away because he was looking for more, Riley walked away because he wanted everything…you. So are you going to just let him go because you’re afraid of getting hurt again or are you going to go after him because you love him to much to let him go?” Which is stronger Faith, your fear or your love, because if the answer isn’t love you should just let him walk away.”

“Why are you trying to help me?” Faith asked, the first tears trembling down from her lashes.

Buffy thought about giving some flippant reply but she decided to go with the honest truth. “I’m never going to find the kind of love you have a chance at having with him. It’s to late for me to try to start my life over from scratch. The emptiness is always going to be a part of me and its not something I would wish on anyone. I made my peace with that a long time ago but I can’t just sit here and watch you throw it away.”

“How do you know that it’s not already too late for me?” Faith asked as the full reality of Buffy’s life crested over her like a full moon. There was light but no warmth and Faith knew she didn’t want to live in that kind of world.

Buffy reached over and captured one of Faith’s tears on her finger. She lifted it up so that it could shimmer is the warm golden light of the rising sun that was creeping past the gap of the curtains and into the room. “It’s not to late if you can still cry, my tears dried up a long time ago.”

Without another word Faith ran from the room, for the first time running towards her destiny instead of away of it.

Buffy closed the door behind her and forgetting that she wasn’t alone, stared down at the tear drop still resting on her finger. To other people it was nothing but a bit moisture but since it had been years since she felt a tear against her own skin, she knew it was so much more than it appeared to be. It was misery released, a confounding amount of emotion stored within such a minuscule space. She had swallowed her tears and like acid they had eaten away her misery and every other emotion along with it. She was free from the pain in a way of speaking but she had also lost the happiness that made it all worth bearing.

Unable to watch her wistfully stare down at the tear like it was more precious that gold, Spike got off of the bed and walked over to stand beside her, carefully avoiding the harmful rays of the sun. “When was the last time you cried luv?”

“The day the social worker told me my mother had died of an overdose and I was trapped in the system.” She admitted never raising her eyes to his.

“How long had you already been in?”

“Less than a week but it had been long enough to realize I was in hell and that I was never getting out.”

“You escaped that place years ago pet.” He said tilting her face up to his.

“Hell isn’t a single place and even if you make it out, you never really escape. All that is missing inside of me, is back there.” Rubbing her fingertips together, she erased the tear and the rest of her thoughts on the matter. “Thanks for not blowing the cover I tried to give Riley.”

“I guess you owe me one.”

Mistaking the tenderness in his eyes as lust, she decided to oblige him. She trailed her hands up his chest and tangled them in the back of his hair. Slowly, she brought her lips to his as if she had all day to savor the taste of him and she wasn’t in the slightest hurry. She brushed her top lip over his bottom one, lightly sucking it into her mouth. Using her tongue she traced along the ridge where lip met skin but only for a brief moment before taking his mouth fully with hers. She felt his arms wrap around her, felt his muscles contracting against her skin but she never felt the slightest bit of emotion. She moaned, low in her throat, to let him imagine that she was enjoying it as much as him. As far as kisses went, it was top of the line, but it was nothing more than skin touching skin.

He was smoldering and her illusion would have fooled him on that alone, if he couldn’t hear her heartbeat slowly counting away the time. When he had said she owed him, he never expected her to take it that way and with her hands sliding against his chest it was hard to refuse. Especially since it was being freely offered, she could have just as easily told him to bugger off. He had thought the way to her heart wouldn’t be through her parted legs and lips and now he was certain of it. This wasn’t a matter of seduction, no he knew it wasn’t a simple as that. What he had to do was make her feel again, in essence bring her back to life. Since he was dead himself, that would have been a problem but he was romantic enough to know nothing was impossible.

He pulled away from her gently, so that she wouldn’t think he wasn’t interested. “I actually had something else in mind pet.” When she opened her mouth to refuse, he laid his fingertips against her still moist lips. “I want your warmth luv, but not through your blood. I want to sleep with you, just sleep holding you close so that your skin can warm my own.”

It was a weird request but she had heard and done weirder things in the past. “Then I guess it’s a good thing I sleep in the nude.” She told him before walking away to clear off the bed.

He nearly swallowed his tongue at the idea of her curvy body deliciously naked and pressing so close against his, all but begging for a tender intrusion. Then he remind himself that all good things come in time, so he would just have to wait. And to make sure that happened, he was keeping his own clothes on as a precaution, he decided flinging off his jacket.
 

11.
He had taken every precaution, he had left every zipper zipped and every piece of fabric in place but her clever fingers had been entirely to well…clever he decided, as she began to wake up beside him. The both were naked upon the bed with the sheets tangled around them, but thankfully that was because she was bed hog and not because they had spent the morning shagging like rabbits. It had to be love, when not having sex with a beautiful woman was something to be thankful for, he thought tenderly brushing the hair back off of her face.

She looked so innocent and so very young as she slept with her hand curled beneath her cheek and her golden locks artlessly tangled around her narrow shoulders. The were both on their sides, her tight and toned ass pressed firmly against his stirring cock but he had no desire to wake her. She had so very little peace in her life, he was content to let her linger in what she could claim, a little while longer. Continuing his private exploration of her body, he wrinkled his brow as he saw a faded scar, high on her shoulder nearly two inches long. Easing away slightly, he could see the scar was echoed on her back and he knew that at some time a knife had been jammed inside her flesh hard enough to pop out the other side.

He had done some terrible things in his life, slaughtered entire families as they screamed and begged for mercy and the sight of that scar marring her flesh was enough to make his stomach flip over and make him feel violently ill. Being the dammed he understood about hell, being punished for sins and all that rot but he couldn’t imagine what sin Buffy had performed in this life or any other to be just another soul condemned the fire. He’d known her less than a full day but he had already seen so much goodness in her. In fact it seemed to radiate around her bringing a warm glow to everyone but herself. She had come to town to risk her life for perfect strangers, defended him, fixed a relationship and made a group of people who had been unwelcoming to her, feel welcomed.

Last night she had worked the room like a skilled hostess at a society function with a great deal of wit and more than a little ribald humor. She’d done nothing but be herself and one by one he watched as everyone fell under her spell. It was like being around her made you want to be a better person, experience every depth of human emotion because she couldn’t. In a way it was like looking at her was like looking at the darkest most empty place of the human spirit and being willing to do anything to escape the dark and yet you felt entirely comfortable around the living manifestation of the very thing you feared. She was, so you were as well, it was just that simple. She had nothing in common with a bunch of kids who had faced evil demons but not the evil of humans. Evil was always more scary when it shared a face much like your own. Which was why he and other vampires, or atleast vampires of a certain age and temperament always waited until the last moment to reveal their true face.

People, even though they read the paper and watched the news never expected other people to be evil. When the a vampire shifted form they still knew that they were going to die but they also found a small measure of relief knowing that it wasn’t a person doing these awful things to them. Like Buffy had said, ‘he’s a vampire that’s what they do’ but humans on the other hand are not supposed to be vicious killers. It happened of course, the same way some vampires never truly embraced their demon. Not Angel, when he was soul free Angelus he became his demon, but some vampires chose of their own accord to feed on rats instead of people. He had always thought that it was because the demon they had gotten was weak but now he wondered if it could be because the person they had been was strong. If his demon wanted to, he could drain every drop of her sweet slayer blood without the slightest fear of his chip stopping him. It was what he had dreamed of ever since he had learned he couldn’t make another human kill but now that he could the man still inside of him wouldn’t let the demon out to play it’s nasty little games on her flesh. Maybe those other vampires, the ones he and his vampiric family had mocked had realized that it was wrong to kill the very people they had once walked freely among.

He wouldn’t go that far, he decided placing a feather light kiss on her temple but he would admit that she was entirely to special to treat as a cow, an animal that served no other purpose but to be eaten. He had every intention of drinking her blood, but he wanted her to offer it to him as willingly as she had offered her body the night before. It was a first, she could give him because it was one of the things she held back for herself alone. Any man with money could enjoy her body but she would only give one man her essence and he had every intention of being that man. Which meant he had to somehow convince her to remain here instead of returning to LA.
Where without a doubt his grandsire was waiting to claim her as his very own, Spike thought bitterly. Angel could say he and Angelus were entirely different people if he liked but they both had a passion for claiming the innocent. When Angel had met Faith she had been as pure as the driven snow and in typical Angelus fashion he had plowed through her leaving a path of darkness across her soul that time alone could never erase while he still called himself Angel. He had heard Buffy clearly say she had no intention of ending up with Angel but he was willing to bet Angel wasn’t thinking the same thing. The man had had a knack for convincing the ladies he was their one true love. Both Darla and Dru had loved him for centuries and being only human Faith would have clung to hers about half that long if Buffy hadn’t stepped in and got her straightened out. He didn’t really care about her and her cardboard boyfriend but since Buffy had intervened on their behalf it meant he was free to intervene on hers, he rationalized with smug smile.

He could hear her heart rate speeding up slightly as she began to wake up on her own and no matter how innocent she looked when she was asleep he knew first hand how she was a skilled temptress when she was awake. She had complained about his denim jeans being rough against her skin and since her being uncomfortable in his arms wasn’t a part of his master plan he had slipped them off, with a great deal of assistance from her, even through he had on nothing underneath. Then she claimed she was cold and it will be so much warmer snuggled against his bare skin and it wasn’t until after he had let her tug his shirt off that he realized he didn’t have any body heat to share. She gotten through his guard so quickly, that he forced himself to pay more attention. Which in theory was both a blessing a curse, he though silently slipping out of bed. She had used every feminine trick known to man to seduce him, running her hair down his chest like shimmering silk, soft fleeting caresses against his body as she pulled the sheets around them every couple of seconds or so. She had even used a few he had failed to learn in all of his years of life and if she hadn’t been a little less sleepy he would have crumbled before to much longer.

Pulling on his clothes without so much as a rustle of cloth to give him away, he waited to see what ploys she had planned for him today. He was sure she had figured out that he was trying to create a mood of gently intimacy instead of raging lust which is why she had done everything but hold him down and have her way with him. Despite how torturous and painful it had been to resist her, he couldn’t wait for round two.

When her eyes opened and she turned around to look for him, he watched as she oh-so-casually let the sheet covering her slide down as she turned her body to his. If he hadn’t been expecting it, he would have believed it was accidental and that she hadn’t meant to bare her perfect breasts and soft pink nipples to his starving eyes. But since he had been expecting it or atleast something like it, he acted like she was completely covered. “Good night luv, we got about an hour before we have to head out, so I suggest you take a shower.”

“Don’t want to take a shower, don’t want to get up…too early.” She mumbled grumpily reaching down to pull the blanket over her head.

He leaned over her and began to tug the sheet down but she was using every ounce of her slayer strength to keep it in place. Hoping that leverage would be enough to tip the scales in his favor, he climbed onto the bed beside her. To his surprise, she chose that exact moment to give up and he fell on top of her. Quickly her mouth found his and she gently maneuvered him down to onto his back. Before he fully realized what had happened or that he had unwittingly lifted his hips to help, he was naked again. It wasn’t until he felt her slide down on his cock, that he realized that she had been planning this all along.

12.

While Buffy took a quick shower, Spike sat on the edge of the bed trying to figure out his next move. The past hour had been amazing, mind blowing and the hundreds of other adjectives that were used to describe great sex. But that all it had been, sex he thought sourly. His body had been sated but not his heart. That was still starving for more. But it had given him a piece of much needed insight. Buffy Winters wasn’t afraid of death but she was terrified of feeling alive. She had seen his intimate overture and spent all night trying to turn it into something that wouldn’t mean anything. Which was why he figured she wouldn’t share her blood. That would require that she trusted him and that would make it personal. For her sex wasn’t personal it was just another way of doing business.

She never said it but he knew she wanted to die. He didn’t think she was suicidal by any means but she was seeking the sweet oblivion of death just the same. She couldn’t race out to embrace it willingly, no matter how bad she wanted it or else all the people in her past that sucked the hope out of her would win. That was something he understood, hell he had doing the same thing with Angel for more than a century. He had no intention of being dusted until he climbed out of his grandsire’s shadow and had his taste of the spotlight. But for Buffy, she wasn’t reaching for the brass ring and she didn’t give a damn about climbing to the top of the peak and staring down, she fought just to fight. She lived each day just to wait for the thing strong enough to take her out. There was no shame in being beaten but it was cowardly to just give in and he knew that is why she fought. She wasn’t looking for something that meant enough to her to fight for, because she had no intentions of wining the final battle.

If he died this moment, his lost thoughts would be full of the things he should have said or thing he should have done while he was still alive but Buffy wouldn’t have a single thing to regret. She had lived under the shadow of death for so long that she could go in peace with out a single glance back. He was certain that if she actually had something in her life worth living for, she wouldn’t be able to do that. You can’t find peace if you’re holding on to the things you left behind.

If he loved her less, he would let her fade away into the dark. But love made him greedy and he wanted her alive. It helped that he believed one good moment, one good day made all the other miserable ones worth living though. Her destiny was to become a slayer while his was to love one…her. In the past draining a slayer was his idea of a right good day but now he was determined to make one live to find her own. Putting it that way, even to himself, made him question the existence of omnipotent higher power. What kind of brilliant being would decide that a soulless vampire was the perfect person to teach a slayer how to live and love, he asked himself shaking his head in disbelief. He was beginning to think it was someone’s idea of a cosmic joke at his expense.

Then she walked back into the room wearing a pair of red leather pants, paired with a black silk camisole that revealed the rising swells of her breasts and instead of feeling like a fool for love, he felt blessed. “Ready to go luv?”

“If you want to go ahead of me, I’ll understand,” Buffy said reaching down to slide a stake into the back of her boot. The boots had a loop that was intended to help the wearer pull them on but she had found they held a stake perfectly. There was plenty of give in the leather so she could walk comfortably with it setting there and since stilettos were not really suited for slayer games, she had brought along these boots knowing they would be perfect. Which was why she had a stake handy during her fight with him yesterday.

“Embarrassed to be seen with me pet?” Spike asked getting to his own feet.

“Actually I was thinking you might be embarrassed to be seen with me. If we show up together they are going to know what we’ve been doing and I don’t want to make things harder for you.”

“You’re not my whore Buffy. If I just wanted to shag, I could have gone to someone else. I feel something for you, we have a connection.”

“That’s sweet but I do a lot of ‘connecting’. It was fun but that‘s all it was. Don‘t try to make it anything more than that.” Buffy said crossing her arms over her chest.

“Think what you like pet and so will I.” He crossed the room to stand in front of her. “I know where you live now, you want your life to be as cold and as bleak as your name. You’ve spent years trapped in the winter of your discord and you don’t intend to live to see the spring. I’m not asking you for anything but even if this goes nowhere, there is still one thing I can give you. Even if you won’t accept anything else.”

“Yeah and what is that?”

“I will remember you.” Slowly he reached out and laid his hand over her heart. “Even after this stops beating, I will remember the lines of your face and the scent of your skin. I will mourn you and I will never forget a single moment I spent with you.”

He had somehow found out her private nightmare…would anyone remember her when she was gone. She was going to die sooner or later and she knew that she didn’t have a single friend who would miss her. She had acquaintances, people like Angel and the others here that she had let into her life fleetingly but not a single person she actually considered a real friend. If she died tonight, all those people would feel sorry that she had died but it wouldn’t be long before her name slipped from their memories. She wanted to go through this life alone, it had always been her choice to not form lasting friendships. So she knew it was silly to worry that no one would ever lay flowers on her grave. But she couldn’t help feeling that if no-one remembered her after her death then her life had been pointless. “Why would you do that? I mean you barely know me.”

“Because you matter and because you’re the first person I have ever met that treats me like a man instead of a monster. That means something to me, you mean something to me.” He told her pulling his hand away. “I’m offering to be your friend Buffy, it doesn’t have to be more than that for you. My thoughts and feelings about you are my own and you don’t have to return them but you can’t force me to stop caring about you.”

It was just a crush, she thought staring into his eyes and the more he got to know her it would fade. But she couldn’t see the harm in letting him be her friend. She would soon be back in LA and every once in a while he would come to see her and she might come down here to see him. It wouldn’t change her life drastically and maybe just maybe his private fear was the same as hers. From what she had seen last night it wasn’t like anyone here would remember him fondly if he was gone. So they were both getting something out of the arrangement, she rationalized. Blowing out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, she gave him a slight nod. “Friends it is, but that doesn’t mean we have to make a big deal out of it. I’m not expecting birthday cards and Christmas presents so you shouldn’t either. And I’m not handing back the two hundred I took from you at cards last night.”

Relieved and feeling like they were finally taking a step in the right direction, he sent her a quick wink. “Well since you fleeced the Scoobies out of all their cash as well, it’s not likely they will play with us again anytime soon but if there’s time between the fighting, I might take you to another game in town.”

Since they were already late as it was, she headed to the door. “Yeah does it pay well?”

“It depends pet…are you fond of kittens?” He asked following behind her.


***Yes, I know that I completely skipped over their first sexual encounter. NO I didn't do it to be mean, there is a method to my madness. Like Spike figured out, it wasn't something that mattered to her so when it does, I promise I will give it the time an attention it deserves. But since Spike wasn't fulfiled it is only fair that you readers aren't either...that way you will be looking forward to her finally letting herself feel for him as much as he is. But I can understand, if you don't see it that way. Please send all hate mail and angry retorts to this chapter to Revello1620@yahoo.com. I will answer as many as possible in a timely fashion but since I am expecting a virtual flurry of replies, please be patient. :) ****

13.

“You play for kittens,” Buffy said shaking her head in disbelief as they drew closer to Giles’s house. Spike had filled her in on all the details of demon poker and no matter how times he explained why kittens were as good as money, she just couldn’t make her mind understand it. She was hard and not at all fluffy by nature but even she thought kittens were cute. “You demons sure know how to live it up.”

“So are you up for a game or are you too squeamish?”

“What would I do with them when I win, I mean it’s not like I think kittens are the other, other white meat or one of those fruit juice thingies you just pop a straw in and drink down? What would be my motivation?”

“You would be able to sell the kittens on the demon market, a good one can fetch…”

“No don’t tell me…I don‘t want to know.” Buffy said cutting him off. She had done a lot of things for money but selling kittens snacks to demons was just a little to much, even for her. “So what hoops do you think they are going to make me jump through tonight?” She asked rapidly changing the subject.

“I don’t know but I wager there will be a lot of them.” Spike admitted with a shrug.

“What ever happened to charging in and kicking ass? I mean I don’t get this waiting crap. I’m not saying we go in blind or anything but I’m starting to think I might die of old age before I get to kill anything.”

“Dying of old age isn’t exactly the worst way to go out.” Spike reminded her.

“Says the guy who will never age. You’ll still be all handsome and sexy seconds before you go poof and gray is not really a good color for me.”

“You think I’m handsome?”

Since she wasn’t really sure why she had said it that way, she had no choice but to admit the truth. “You’re easy on the eyes but don’t get all puffed up and manly on me. I am still, way better looking than you… even though you have those amazing cheekbones and bluer than blue eyes.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth she felt like slapping her hand against her lips, half afraid of what might come out next. She had thought that last bit and it had went straight out of her mouth before her brain could realize it wasn’t something she wanted to share.

Thankfully they were finally at Giles’s doorstep so she was spared from having to figure out what was wrong with her. Knocking, she tried to act casual, so Spike wouldn’t pick up on her sudden unease. When Giles opened the door, her voice was unusually chipper. “Hey, sorry I was late…I got lost. My brain is just not fully awake yet.”

“That seems to be going around.” Giles said backing away to let her and Spike in.

She could see the others and saw right away what Giles had meant. They all looked a little worse for the wear and she spotted more than a few shadows under some eyes. Riley and Faith on the other hand, both had smiles so bright, that they were bordering on radioactive. “That’s my fault, they came by last night being all neighborly and I kept them out a little later than usual.”

When he raised his eyebrow, she relented. “Okay a lot later than usual, but gee Mr. Giles please don’t ground them. I mean look at Faith and Riley, they have more than enough energy to cover for the rest of us until we get back up to speed.”

“You are a slayer Buffy, you can’t afford to let your extra curricular activities wear you down.” Giles said hoping to use this as a chance to instill some discipline in the girl. “What would you do if we were attacked right now?”

“I would fight and keep as many of you alive as possible because that’s why I am here but I’m not your slayer. This is a one shot deal only.” Buffy reminded him, instantly bristling at his authoritative
tone. Her voice held the cold note of finality that warned him not to argue, but either he was tone deaf or oblivious.

“You are a slayer Buffy and like it or not, it is now a part of your life. I have already contacted the Council and they are sending you a Watcher. Until he or she arrives, you will train along with Faith.”

She had tried being nice and all that had gotten her was a patronizing lecture. So now she would just have to show him exactly who he was dealing with, she decided, taking a step closer to him. “I am the one in control of my life and that is something you and your Council will just have to deal with. I haven’t seen you all hanging around during the last nineteen years so I am not about to let you walk into my life now and tell me what and what not to do. So call your boss and tell him not to bother or dial the number and I will.”


She was so much like Faith was in the beginning, so unwilling to face her destiny but just like her, Buffy had no choice in the matter, he thought sadly. He had gotten through to Faith, with time and that wasn’t something he had with Buffy. She could very well pick up and disappear into the streets of LA again. The Watchers Council wasn’t something you could escape and that was something both he and Faith understood quite clearly. They had broken away from the Council after it had refused to assist them in finding a cure or antidote for Angel when the mayor had poisoned him. But the Council could find out whatever secret ambition or desire you carried and use it to lure you back into the fold.

Just like when they had offered to pay Faith’s entire college tuition knowing that it was not something Joyce could afford since her ex-husband had stopped the child support payments the day Faith had reached her eighteenth birthday. He would have been willing to contribute, but he had used the bulk of his savings to purchase the Magick Box. The offer had come at a time when they had been desperate and it had been impossible to refuse. If anyone could convince Buffy that it was in her best interest to stay, it would be the current head of the Council, Giles decided crossing over to the phone to make the call. Quentin Travers could teach the devil a few tricks. After briefly explaining the purpose of the call, he handed the phone to Buffy without a word.

“Miss Winters, I am Quentin Travers, how can I be of service to you?”

“Tell Giles and whoever you are sending out here that their services are not needed, because I’m not in the market for a Watcher.”

“We have guided the slayer since the beginning and…”

“I got this story already, so let’s just get to the point. I am not your slayer, that’s Faith’s job. So let’s all go back to our lives and let her get on with it.”

“You are a prostitute, Miss Winters. That it hardly what one would call a life worth living. As the slayer you will have a purpose, a sacred calling that can deliver you from the degradation of your current status.”

“Being a whore isn’t degrading Mr. Travers, it’s just business. What is degrading is you thinking that I am going to fall in line just because you said so. I don’t take orders.”

“Perhaps it would be easier if you think of yourself as our employee.” Quentin told her calmly, striving for a reasonable tone. “We will provide you with an apartment and enough money to see to your needs.”

“Men pay to enjoy my body but no one can buy me, not even you.” Buffy told him crossly. He insulted her for being a hooker and then tried to buy her, talk about your mixed messages, she thought rolling her eyes.

It was time this girl learned her place, Quentin thought coldly. He had done quite a bit of research after receiving Giles call and now it was time to show the headstrong Miss Winters, exactly who she was dealing with. “The Council has a considerable amount of power Miss Winters. So much in fact that it can be used to make your life quite difficult, even in Los Angeles.”

“Sorry Travers but I don’t take threats well either. You take your shot though, but you’d better make sure I stay down because when I get back up it’s my turn.”

He could tell from her voice that she meant it but he was far from through yet. He didn’t care how he convinced her to take her rightful place in their organization, all he cared was that she fulfilled her purpose. “Are you sure there is nothing you want Miss Winters?” He said easily as if he hadn’t just threatened her moments ago. “Perhaps for someone other than yourself?”

“What are you talking about?”

“From what my sources told me, the Scourge is currently in LA. They even mentioned that you and the vampire with a soul are trying to help a group of half demons escape them. Quite admirable but from what I understand, it is proving quite impossible to find any ship willing to carry them to safety.”

“So if you’re the good guys why aren’t you trying to help?” Buffy asked not liking where this was going one bit.

“It is not our policy to assist demons Miss Winters.” He told her firmly, unhappy that a second slayer had fallen in with that particular vampire. “But if you were to accept my previous offer and become our employee, then I think we can make an exception this time. With one phone call, I can have them out of the harbor by this time tomorrow and I will personally make sure that they arrive at their destination safely.”

“You know I’m not just going to take you word on this, so stick by the phone and I’ll let you know.” Buffy said seconds before hanging up.

She took several deep breaths trying to get a hold of her temper and turned to look at Faith. “Could you call Angel? I think he and I need to have a little talk and I don‘t know the damn number.”

Since Buffy was obviously not in the mood to answer any questions, Faith quickly punched in the number and handed back the phone while it was still ringing.

When Buffy heard Angel’s voice float across the line, it tripped off her anger all over again. “You lying fucking bastard! I trusted you to take care of Kraken and now I hear you can’t deliver.”

“Listen Buffy only a demon can transport them and the only one in the business is a full blood. He doesn’t want to get on the bad side of the Scourge by helping us, because he knows they will kill him.” Angel explained quickly, not concerned about how she had found out about the trouble he was having. “It’s going to take some more time but with the wards up we should be able to keep them safe for as long as it takes to get them out.”

“And if the wards fail…what then?” Buffy asked already knowing the answer.

“Then I give you my word that I will die trying to save as many of them as I can.”

“As of this moment Angel, your word doesn’t mean jack shit to me.” Slamming down the phone, she felt the cold hand of fate tighten around her neck. She wished with all of her being that she was soulless because if she was, she could walk out of this house and go back to taking care of herself and herself alone. But she couldn’t, she knew what it was like to be a kid hiding in the dark so the bad man couldn’t find you, couldn’t put his hands on you. And now once again she was trapped, the room was getting smaller with each passing second and if she didn’t get out soon then she would be that girl again. All the defenses she had built up, brick by painful brick would come crashing down and she would be eight years old again pressed down against a bed as the last of her innocence was ripped away.

She had been to afraid to fight that day, she had just accepted it, silently screaming for someone to save her as the tears streaked down her face like rain. No one had come to her and when she finally found the will to fight, it had been so another girl would never have to go through what she had faced. Now for another child, she was willing to surrender so that he could have the kind of life fate had refused to allow her. “Call Travers, tell him to make the call. Tell him that once I know for certain that he held up his end of the bargain…he’s just bought himself another slayer.”

When Giles moved to do as she said, she headed for the door. She heard someone call her name and that was all the motivation she needed to fling it open and run into the night like all the hounds of hell were on her heels, snarling for her blood. This was her last night of freedom and she wanted to breathe it in while she still had the chance.

14.

Without a word Spike chased after her, a thousand questions burning through his mind like matches being lit and left to burn out on their own. He had seen her face after she had hung up on Angel and instead of the anger he had been expecting there was naked fear raw and trembling in her eyes. Her skin, already pale to begin with had gone translucent and he could clearly see the veins of color beneath it’s creamy surface. It had filled him with a dread so deep and encompassing that his body ached to turn around expecting some undefeatable monster standing just behind him. But he had been more afraid to take his eyes off of her, certain that if he did she would have faded and slipped into the air never to be seen again. He knew that whatever had inspired that great and stunning fear in her, had been for her eyes alone.

His body was burning, his muscles begging for a moments respite but he couldn’t afford to stop now, when he was already so far behind her. She was streaking through the night like a falling star and if he couldn’t catch her…he didn’t think she would ever be able to shine again. Whatever had happened during her phone conversations had stripped the control away from her and now he understood that her control had been the force behind her power. With that gone, her neutrality was in jeopardy and tonight she could lose her soul in truth by shedding innocent blood. Spike didn’t claim to give a damn about the innocent, his own hands were forever stained and his past sins would always remain but he knew she would never be able to survive if she allowed herself to become a monster…even if it had happened from a temporary foray into madness.

Behind him he heard Faith, her breath coming in great wolfing pants and on any other night the slayer would have been able to out run him easily…but not tonight. Fear and love were pushing him to catch Buffy and not even Faith’s slayer strength could match that. As for him, he was using all of his vampiric senses and abilities at the same time but desperation had made him clumsy. He felt his foot catch in a partially exposed tree root and he knew before his hands hit the ground that he had failed her. Jumping back to his feet, he scanned the horizon searching for some sign of her blonde hair glinting in the moonlight but all he saw was the empty night around him. Unwilling to give up, he started to charge in the direction he had last seen her take when Faith suddenly tackled him from behind.

Snarling he tried to shove her off, but her thin arms wrapped around him like steel bands. “I have to go after her.” He yelled at her still trying to pull away.

“Neither one of us can catch her now but we can try to find out what in the hell is going on. Whatever it is we can fix it or atleast try to help her get past it.” Faith said feeling lightheaded from her nearly breathless pursuit coupled with those two simple sentences. Spike didn’t need to breathe but if he kept chasing after her, his body would rip apart, to be honest she didn’t know how he had kept such up such a brutal pace for so long. She didn’t want to question why he was so desperate to help Buffy, right now she was just grateful. “Besides if you come along, you get to listen to me tear into Angel for whatever it was he did to tick her off. “

Spike pulled away from her and got to his feet, knowing that she had a point. “I wouldn’t want to miss that now would I?” As hard as it was to accept, Buffy wouldn’t want his help right now so he could give her a little time and find out what was going on. Maybe all she needed was an hour or so to calm down, get her bearings back, he decided getting to his feet and if she wasn‘t back before then…well then he would bloody well go and find her.

_________________________________________


Once she no longer heard the footsteps chasing after her, Buffy had slowed down to take some air into her scorching lungs. She had run away in the opposite direction of the main strip knowing that in town there would be people and that wasn’t what she was looking for right now. Solitude was what she was so desperately seeking and as she found herself being absorbed into a large forest she knew that she had made the right choice. The light streamed down into the trees casting them in shadows and she could hear the sound of crickets singing to the moon. That was something she couldn’t find in LA, there it was a concrete jungle and the sounds of the night reflected that in every way. The hum of engines, songs blaring, the click clack of high heels against the street, those were the sounds of her world…the world she had just lost. It wasn’t as soothing as these new sounds but it was familiar and it was home.

The trees suddenly parted and she found herself staring at a silvery pool that was so absolutely still that it was almost like looking in a mirror. She could see across the to the other side but after years of only knowing the vastness of the often turbulent ocean, it was comforting to see the beginning, middle and end of something all at the same time. Sitting down on a partially rotted, fallen log, she stared into the glassy waters hoping that the pond would reveal the future for her as well.

She saw herself, floating in a sea of blackness and for the first time in her memory, she felt unbearably alone. Which was what she had wanted but apparently not even she knew what she wanted anymore, she thought glumly.

“What are you?” Asked a deep voice from behind her, to far away to reflect their face in the pond.

“I don’t know,” she admitted not taking her eyes off of her face in the water.

“What am I?”

Turning, she took in the half man, half machine with a few extra things she couldn’t name and shrugged. “I don’t know that either.”

“You appear human but I can tell that you are not.” Adam said walking over to stand beside her.

“I used to be but I am not anymore.” He looked intimidating but since he hadn’t offered her any violence, she patted the empty space beside her on the log. “What about you, do you miss being human?”

Puzzled, he sat down beside her. He had an insatiable need to understand this world that had created him and so far she was the most incomprehensible human like being he had met. “I barely remember the man whose body was used to create me, so I can not answer that. But I do understand that this form is more powerful than the human shell, so I am pleased with the body I inhabit.”

That was something they had in common, she decided, there was a lot of bodies in her past that she couldn’t remember either. He also had a good point about being more powerful but she knew that all the power in the world couldn’t take away the feeling of being alone, it just made it more obvious. “How can you be so sure you like this new you, better if you can’t remember what it was like before? How do you know you weren’t happier before whatever happened to change you into what you are now?”

He thought about her question for a moment but his data processors could not give him a satisfactory answer. “I cannot be certain because the memories can not be recovered from my data cells. But the human body was harvested after being killed in action, so life in any form must be more satisfactory than death.”

“Do you have a name?” Buffy asked softly.

“I was called Adam by my creator, I in turn called her mother. What are you called?”

“Buffy, my name is Buffy.” She offered him her hand. When he shook it lightly in his own as if he was afraid to break her, she smiled at him.

“Do you miss being human Buffy?”

“No, not really.”

“Then why are you not pleased with what you have become?” Adam asked, struggling to understand her.

That made her think about Spike, another person she seemed to have a lot in common with. “I am trapped in a life that I don‘t want. My life before wasn’t perfect or ideal but atleast it was mine.”

“So you were more content in your human shell?”

“No…it wasn’t that I was really happy as a pure human either but atleast then I was the one who got to decide what I would become. This power was forced on me against my will and you shouldn’t be forced to accept things you don’t want.”

“Then why don’t you use the power to fight to become free?” Adam asked cocking his head, trying to decipher the look on her face.

“It’s not that simple,” Buffy said, sighing deeply. “My life isn’t that simple. In a way the only person I came blame is myself. I got involved with someone and instead of finishing the job I started I trusted someone else to do it for me. Which was stupid given my past history and when they let me down, I had to make a deal. I had some choices to make, they weren’t good choices but still I had a choice. So I guess you could say I trapped myself.”

“That is counterproductive. I do not understand you because you are flawed.”

“Flawed is one way to put it, I like to think of myself as bitter and jaded.”

“You would operate at maximum efficiency if you discarded your humanity. Then you would be able to find your freedom again. I can help you do that. I can make you like me and your upgrades would clear your mind of the insignificant details that are causing you to be self destructive.”

She felt more than saw his arm coming towards her and on instinct she threw herself into the pond, jerking when she felt something sharp cut across her arm. The brief flash of pain was instantly numbed by the chilled water and she pushed herself down knowing that with all of that hardware, he wouldn’t be able to follow. To her surprise it was much deeper than it had appeared and she found herself heading down through the dark water, with nothing but a quickly indrawn breath in her lungs.

Time had no meaning in the murky water, her own body was the clock counting down to the end. It wasn’t long before she had reached the point of no return. If she went down into the soothing black any further then she wouldn’t have enough air to make it back to the top and for a second she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do.

That thought gave her a badly needed moment of clarity…Adam had been right, she was self destructive. All she knew was that she had been fighting against everything for to damn long to destroy herself now. Her body shifted in the water as she turned to head back up to the pain and away from the tranquil depths but her mind had shifted track as well. Her life, any life was defined by the choices made in the process of living and tonight in two separate events she had made the same choice. That had to mean something, she thought breaking the surface of the water in a high arch. Taking a few deep breaths into her lungs. Treading water she scanned the shoreline and spotted Adam. “Thanks for the offer Adam but I chose to be human and flawed.”

“I understand that you fear death but there would be no pain.” Adam told her calmly, trying to make her understand what he was offering her.

“If there wasn’t any pain what in the hell would be the point. All the things in life that are worth having hurt. I’d rather take the pain than be a bunch of assorted parts that don’t add up.”

“You would be reborn, your new upgrades would give you the power to do anything you wished.”

“Yeah, well I want to go swimming.” She shot back, splashing for effect. “Care to join me or do those all powerful upgrades you keep saying make you so much better than us human shells, trap you right there on the shore?”

“I am changing the worlds of both the demons and the humans. Soon many others will be like I am. I will give you some time to think about all that I am offering you but I will improve you by force if you give me no other choice.”

After he walked away, she stayed in the center of the pond making sure that he wasn’t waiting for her just inside the forest. After a while her teeth began to chatter and she knew that she had no other choice but to swim to the bank. The second her feet hit dry land, she ran. Only this time she was running to something, instead of away. Actually she was running to someone, she thought thinking on Spike’s earlier offer of friendship. Right now what she really needed was a friend, she decided making her way back through the forest and into town

15.

I can do this, Buffy told herself looking at the house from across the street, I can walk up to the door and let someone help me. Why was it that asking for help was harder than doing things on your own, she wondered taking the first step forward. Like it or not she had seen her future tonight, not in the reflective waters but in a man that had become a monster. She took another step forward and then another and before she could talk herself out of it, she ran the rest of the way to the door.

Being the closest one to the door, while Faith tried to piece out what had happened in her own phone call with Angel, Spike opened it when he had heard the first soft, nearly inaudible knock. Buffy stood there, her hair tangled and clinging to her wet skin and clothes while a narrow rivulet of blood worked it’s way down her arm. Without thinking he pulled her into his arms just needing to reassure himself that she was there and not some byproduct of his worry.

He expected her to struggle the moment he felt her chilled skin against his and he started to pull away figuring that she had been through enough tonight without another confrontation but to his surprise he felt her arms reach around him and pull him close. At first she seemed unsure and uncertain but after the first few moments he felt her hands grab onto to his jacket tightly. “What happened luv?”

“I realized I needed a friend.” She said softly knowing that he wasn‘t just talking about her appearance. She laid her cheek against his shoulder and just let herself be held.

“Buffy, Angel’s on the phone…he wants to talk to you.” Faith told her uncertainly.

It had been so long since she had been touched in a way that wasn‘t sexual and she wasn’t willing to pull away just yet. “I have nothing to say to him.”

“Buffy, he wants…” Faith said, feeling caught between two unmovable forces of nature. Angel was as solid and as unyielding as a rock and Buffy was as unpredictable and as forceful as the wind.

“I don’t care what he wants.” Buffy said before burying her face in Spike’s chest. She was experiencing her first foray into gentleness here and she wasn’t about to spoil that by having another fight with Angel. It wasn’t his fault that she had accepted Travers offer but he had still let her down and she didn’t care to be reminded of that just as she was trying to place her trust in someone else.

“Buffy maybe if you talk to him you…”

“Bloody hell, leave her alone.” Spike snarled at her, pulling Buffy closer as she began to shiver. “The girl said she didn’t want to talk to the poufter, so let it go.”

Buffy heard Faith telling Angel to try again later and she looked up at Spike, her eyes shimmering with gratitude. “Thanks.”

“What are friends for pet?” He said giving her a wink. “But I think I should get an birthday card at the very least.”

“You’re what, a hundred and some change? I don’t think they make cards for people coming up on their second bicentennial.” When he laughed, she pulled away just enough to see his face clearly. “Don’t even so much as think the word kitten.”

“It never crossed my mind luv,” he lied smoothly, dropping a light kiss on the top of her head. “But I’d settle for knowing what’s going on in yours right now.”

She had taken a step forward but she wasn’t about to dive in just yet so regretfully she eased away and turned to look at the others. “Did you all know that you have your very own Frankenstein’s monster running loose in the woods?”

“You ran into Professor Walsh’s creation?” Giles asked.

“Yeah Adam and I have officially met. We sat down, had a little chat and then he offered me an ‘upgrade’ like he was the demon equivalent of a techie at Radio Shack.”

“Is that how you got this?” Spike asked running his hand over the shallow cut in her upper arm.

“He nicked me when I jumped into a pond to avoid him. I figured that with all that heavy metal he wasn’t really designed to play in the water. My pants are trashed and I‘m pretty sure the top got a rip or two but I‘m standing here, so I guess it was worth it.” She told them with a shrug. “So why don’t you tell me what’s going on with him?”

While Giles went to fetch her some dried clothes and a blanket, Riley filled her in on everything they knew about Adam. “I don’t think Professor Walsh knew that she was creating a monster or atleast I’d like to believe that.”

“She didn’t, she bent the rules of nature a bit sure, but Adam chose to be a monster on his own.” She told them all about the conversation they had shared but kept her own feeling about the matter to herself. “I think it’s safe to assume that Doyle’s version about you all fighting a demon army, was Adam’s way of changing the rules. I don’t know what he was planning but from the way Doyle talked, it’s going to be bad.”

“I know what he’s planning.” When every pair of eyes shifted in his direction, he refused to look away. Buffy had taken a pretty big step tonight and if he wanted to be the kind of man she deserved, he had to come clean. “He offered to take out my chip, so we made a deal. He gave me that disk Red is trying to crack because he wants Faith to even up the body count when he lets all the demons in the Initiative loose. He had them get captured telling them that he wanted them to destroy the facility but in truth he plans on locking everyone in and rounding up the bits when its all over.”

When Faith stepped forward and lunged at him with a right cross, Buffy stood up and caught her arm, mid swing. “Come on Faith are you really surprised that he wanted to get the chip removed? He didn’t have to tell us, so ease off.”

“For all we know, this is just another part of the master plan.” Faith said harshly pulling her arm away. “Or he’s just telling us because with you added to our side, he knows that we have a better chance to make it out and he doesn’t want to get staked.”

“Either way he’s back on our side now and that gives us an advantage. Are you in this to win or are you more concerned about blowing it by getting even?” Buffy asked her calmly.

“How can you defend him?” Xander asked jumping into the conversation. “He just admitted that he betrayed us, giving us more than enough reason to not trust him again and here you go wanting to make him a part of our plan!”

“I get that you’re pissed and if I was in your shoes I would be too. But since I wasn’t around for all that, I’m not. He hasn’t betrayed me, so he gets the benefit of the doubt.”

“He will if you give him time. You’ve only known him for what an entire day, he just hasn’t had the chance yet.” Xander shot back.

“Actually he stayed the night at my place last night and he could have taken me out when I was asleep but he didn’t. If he was all worried about me shifting the tide in your favor he would have but since he didn’t that makes me want to trust him. In case you missed it, I trying to turn over a new leaf here but if he double crosses me I’ll be the first to stake him. Until then I decided he’s my new best friend.”

“So is that what it takes to earn your friendship Buffy, we have to buy it?” Xander asked coldly. “He is a demon and if you keep siding with him then sooner or later we’re going to have to start wondering if we can trust you.”

“He didn’t give me a damn dime and for someone dating an ex-demon, you sure as hell are quick to cast stones.” Buffy said feeling her own temper rise up. Rome wasn’t built in a day and it looked like the new and more feeling Buffy would take some time too, she decided.

“I like Anya but I’m still betting that their are more than a few bodies in her past. I am giving her the benefit of the doubt so how is it any different with what I am doing with Spike. Spike has a chip and that almost like her losing her powers but since you’re the one sleeping with her she earns the chance to prove herself. While Spike on the other hand is just someone you push around. I saw the way you all treat him, I heard the rude comments last night and if you treated me like that I wouldn‘t be to loyal either.” Buffy sat back down on the sofa besides Spike and waited for the bit of information to sink in, not just for Xander but for everyone. “I can’t force you to trust him or even give him a chance but I am asking you to. Not just for me but because a lot of people could die if we don‘t. Who knows, he might just surprise you, if you give the chance to prove himself.”

16.

After Buffy’s impassioned plea, the others had begrudgingly decided to give Spike a chance and now hours later they were all trying to work out their plan of attack against Adam. Faith turned to ask Buffy her opinion and was shocked to see that she was sound asleep, despite the noise they had been making. Her head was resting against Spike’s shoulder and her thin body was hidden by the thick green sweater Giles had lent her. To her it looked like Buffy was at complete peace and that too was unexpected.

Catching on to what had captured Faith’s attention, Spike broke into her thoughts. “She looks innocent when she sleeps, like this is the real her and when she‘s awake it‘s easy to forget that.”

“You’re in love with her aren’t you.” Faith said, recalling a conversation she had once had with Angel. He claimed he had fallen in love with her instantly and he had worn the same look in his eyes that Spike had now.

“Why else do you think I gave up my best chance to get this sodden chip out?” Spike said aware that everyone in the room was hanging on his every word. “I could care less if Adam kills the lot of you. We’re not friends slayer, never were, but if I helped Adam she would die trying to save your miserable hides. She can pretend all she likes but I can see through her act and into her heart. She can take everything this world throws at her and laugh at the pain but she can’t stand to see anyone else suffer. So just like she helped the kid in LA she would fight for you all until the end and I couldn’t very well help Adam if it meant killing her as well. Think what you like about me but she believes in me and I am not about to let her down, even if that means I have to save the lot of you while I am at it.”

Faith thought about his words, measured every nuance of his face, every inflection of his tone and she had no choice but to believe that he was telling her the truth. “Are you prepared to face what your love could mean for her? With you she would have to give a lot of things up. She would never get to have a picnic with you in the sun, never have any children and she would have to watch you remain young as she grew old and died.”

“Those aren’t your words slayer, their Angel’s.” Spike said casually certain that when Angel learned about his feelings for Buffy he would tell her the same thing. “He may have convinced you he was trying to be noble but in reality he was a coward. He may look like a man, talk like a man and even have a soul but none of that makes it the truth. What it comes down to is that he wasn’t strong enough to watch you live in a world he couldn’t. I don’t want to deny Buffy her place in the sun and as much as I wish it wasn’t true I know she will never live to see her first wrinkle or the first stand of grey work it’s way into her hair. Being the slayer gave you a lot of power and skills but it has it’s drawbacks as well. Other than dying before your time, it makes having children nearly impossible because every big bad that comes to town is going to use that child to get to you. That’s something you are going to have to accept before you settle down with anyone. You are going to have to ask yourself if you could bring a child into this world knowing that if you take your eyes off of it for a second, some nasty thing will snatch it away just to hurt you. Being a slayer makes you a creature of the dark Faith, you spend more hours in the cemetery than in the sun but atleast with someone in your life you can have some chance at happiness before you stay there forever, six feet under in a wooden box.”

“Atleast with a me she won’t have to worry about me killing her simply because she wants to walk away before I’m ready to let her go.” Riley argued.

“Read the paper you ponce, your kind kills more of each other than my kind ever will. Killing isn’t something that only demons do and love isn’t something that only humans can do. We’re more alike than you care to believe and just because Angel made a mess of things doesn’t mean I intend on repeating his mistakes and something tells me you don’t either.” Spike told Riley knowing that their mutual dislike of Angel was something they could agree on.

“Fine let’s say we believe that you actually love her.” Xander said getting into the conversation and doing his level best to keep his voice neutral. Buffy comments about Anya had hit a chord and though his still hated Spike, he understood that he didn’t have the right to tell Buffy she couldn’t start a relationship with him. “It looks like she’s going to be sticking around for a while, so that means we are going to have to atleast try to get along. That means we can’t threaten to stake you and you can’t plot our demise with whatever monster comes to town hoping to gobble us up.”

“Why are you suddenly offering a truce?” Spike asked, searching for the trap.

“Hey, I like her,” when Anya elbowed him in the ribs, he clarified. “Like a friend and it’s plain to see, even to me, that she has had it pretty rough all ready. If you two are going to have a relationship it wouldn’t be fair to her to always have her trapped in the middle of our squabbling. I don’t want to make things harder for her than they already are and she looks like she is in the market for a few new friends and a brand new life. It wouldn’t kill us to make it easier for her and I’m not saying that we have to be friends, because hey I can barely stand you, but I could live with us not being outright enemies.”

“It’s not exactly like I admire you either but I am willing to tolerate you when she’s around. But that doesn’t mean I want you to venture by my crypt looking to hang about.” Spike warned him, shuddering at the thought of him actually being friends with the whelp.

“Like I want to spend my time watching girly soap operas.” Xander shot back.

“Yeah, well atleast I don’t listen to sodden music that is sung by a bunch of nancy boys for the sole enjoyment of adolescent girls and one bloke entirely to thick to get accepted to University like his mates.” Spike told him cruelly, remembering Xander’s fondness for bubblegum pop music from his brief stay in his dank and dismal basement.

“Wow that truce lasted a whole ten seconds,” Willow remarked casually selecting another chip from the bowl on the coffee table. “Buffy is totally going to believe that you two don’t hate each other…you know if her ears suddenly fell off and she went blind.”

“Yes, perhaps you two should simply avoid conversing with each other at all.” Giles said getting up to pour himself another scotch.

“You’re taking this pretty well Giles,” Faith said giving him a considering look.

“I know better after dealing with you. And the idea of never having to break up another argument between those two does have it’s merits. They are constantly at each other like little old ladies or possibly even a pair of those fluffy little dogs that yip trying to assure the world that they are mean.”

“You’re sloshed.” Spike said catching the slight slur in Giles’s voice.

“Not yet,” Giles admitted filling his glass to the brim. “But mark my words this entire conversation is entirely pointless. Buffy’s new Watcher could be an absolute terror and no matter if we do accept an uneasy…hic, oh pardon me…truce with Spike I can guarantee that he or she won’t make things easy for us.”

“I think it’s time we call it a night.” Faith said getting to her feet, shaking her head at Giles’s inebriated state. It had been a hard couple of weeks for them all and he was still feeling a bit left out about not being in the loop on Riley being a part of the initiative. So it wasn’t hard to see that he wasn’t thrilled about another Watcher coming to town. “Do you need help getting her home or do you got it?”

Spike slid his arm around Buffy and pulled her closer to his chest, hooking his other arm around her knees. She mumbled for a moment before snuggling against him and he rose to his feet effortlessly. “Thanks, but I think I can manage.”

Going on instinct, Faith laid her hand on his arm to stop him. “Mom wants to have everyone over to dinner so she can meet Buffy…I’ll have her sit out an extra place.”

“Thanks,” Spike said with a slight nod knowing that she would understand he wasn’t just thanking her for the invite.

17.

“Tell me why I agreed to this again?” Buffy asked Spike again as they made their way to Faith’s home. “I not exactly the type of girl you take home to meet mom.”

He couldn’t believe it but Buffy seemed genuinely nervous about this and he didn’t think anything would make ever make her doubt herself. It was endearing as hell but he didn’t think she would care to hear that. Whatever had happened to her last night had shaken her to the core and this new more human Buffy was going to take a bit of getting used to, he decided wrapping a friendly arm around her shoulders. “Tell you what pet, give Joyce a chance and if you can’t take it then we’ll use the standard slayer escape line.”

“And that is what again?”

“Just say we gotta go patrol, it works every time.”

“Good to know but I am not exactly scared to meet this woman, it’s just that I don’t know what she has heard about me. For all I know the others have glossed over the more unsavory aspects of my character and this woman has no idea about who she has really invited to dinner. I don’t want to make a scene but I am not going to pretend that I am some good girl who says ’oh dear’ instead of damn.” Which was why she was wearing her normal clothes, a short denim skirt frayed at the edges and a camisole with a riot of embroidered crimson roses cradling her breasts. While the rest of the top was an inky black that spilled down her stomach to rest at the top of her waist band.

It would have been considered a typical girl’s night outfit but she had kicked it up to a full blown sexual innuendo by pairing the outfit with four inch stilettos with black straps laced across her skin all the way up to an inch below her kneecap. Everything about her, from her siren red lipstick to the fall away knot she had pulled her hair into screamed, fuck me fast and don’t bother giving me your number, because I won’t call. She looked like the kind of woman all mothers warned their innocent daughters about associating with and she wouldn’t be surprised if Joyce took one look at her and slammed the door in her face.

“She knows the truth about me and even though she once hit me in the head with a sodden axe, she still is nice to me when I come around.”

She looked at his blood red shirt vivid against his milk pale skin and the long firm lines of his legs encased in skin tight black denim and she wondered if Joyce was just being polite or if she didn’t mind spending some time with a devastatingly attractive man with a penchant for leather. She didn’t think Joyce would shove him against the counters and take advantage of that fact but she doubted any woman could resist spending a little time with a delectable piece of eye candy. She had been paid to hang on an arm or two in her day and she had to admit that tonight Spike looked good enough to eat in a single bite.

He noticed the corners of her lips tilt up slightly, in a small and unmistakably feminine smile. “Care to share that thought pet?”

Since tonight seemed to be full of unexpected surprises, she decided to roll the dice and see what happened. “I was just wondering if this friendship came with benefits or if I would have to take the others up on their offer to go to the Bronze after dinner. Now that the Council‘s going to be paying me, I can give up hookin’ but that doesn‘t mean I am just going to stop having sex.”

On one hand he was relieved that she was going to give to retire but that didn‘t mean he wanted her to do it for free either. Stopping in his tracks, he grabbed her arm and whirled her around, pulling her tightly against his chest. “Do you think that anyone could give it to you as good as me slayer?”

Until she had said the words aloud she had never consciously admitted that she was done selling herself. She was trapped into this slayer thing but while Spike had been asleep she had thought about the possible benefits. Becoming a whore hadn‘t been a plan more like a last resort and she had to admit that once she had calmed down she had felt relieved knowing that part of her life was over. But even before the first time she had sold herself she had embraced her sexuality.

At first it had been a way to prove that she could take back a part of herself that her foster father had stolen and also as a way to replace the memories of that year of her life. It had taken seven years for her to let another guy talk her onto her back and with each new partner she had taken the memories faded a bit more. During that time of sexual awakening, she had learned that sex was an amazing release, that when done right, your body and mind were to overloaded to dwell on anything but the languor working it‘s way through your limbs. She couldn’t lie and say that she had never had a great time with one of her johns, because not all of them had been balding and overweight men in their late forties but she wouldn’t say she would miss not having much say in her partners. When she worked, everyone got a ride if their money was good and they didn’t try to beat the shit out of her but now she could chose her partners simply because she was attracted to them.

And being this close against Spike’s body, knowing exactly what was underneath the soft fabric was enough to tell her that she was very attracted. But she didn’t want to let him think that they would ever be more than friends. The job may be in her past but that didn’t mean she was looking for a steady relationship. “You were good Spike, it’s part of the reason I asked but if we do sleep together again it will only be as friends looking for a good time. No strings.”

“If I sleep with you Winters no one else comes to your bed.” He told her firmly. He had already been through this with Dru and he wasn’t about to share the only thing he wanted again, not even for Buffy. “But I tell you what pet, we’ll go to the club after dinner. Dance yourself silly with anything that catches your fancy but before you can make your choice I get you alone for one dance. If I don’t make you burn then we’re only friends,” He leaned his face close enough to hers to whisper his next words less than a breath away from her lips. “But if I make you moan and smolder then you take me and me alone as your lover and all the strings that come with it. But I promise that you will be satisfied in every way.”

“Do you really think you’re that good?” She asked even though she was doing everything humanly possibly to stop herself from closing the distance between their parted lips.

“You afraid to find out or are you willing to take a gamble? Either way we‘re still going to be friends no matter how the dance plays out in the end.”

“You’re on Spike, but I should warn you I’m a hard woman to satisfy. ” She reached out to trace her finger across his lips and then trailed it across the tops of her breasts. She kept her eyes on his the entire time. She had been the one to start this conversation off but since she was the one taking all the risks, she decided to up the stakes. “But if you win I’ll let you lay your claim on me anyway you want but if you lose then you won’t ever be invited back into my bed again. It’s all or nothing Spike, so are you in or out?”

18.

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“Save me a dance luv,” He said softly before releasing her. It was going to drive him insane watching her tonight but he knew he would win the night. Like her he wanted all or nothing and since it had been her that had offered, he knew that whatever part of herself that was becoming alive again wanted him as badly as he wanted her. Like everything else about her, it was an unexpected move but he had a pretty good idea how to counter her this time.

Carefully keeping a good amount of distance between their bodies, they walked in silence the rest of the way to 1630 Revello Drive. The porch light had been turned on to banish the night and he walked up to the door to knock.

“Spike,” Joyce said after opening the door and gracing him with a warm smile. “It’s been awhile since you‘ve been by.”

“Sorry about that, this is Buffy.” He said stepping back to make the introduction.

Joyce studied the girl waiting on her doorstep and it was hard to believe that this was the girl her daughter had told her so much about. The clothes and striking makeup reflected the stories that she had heard but the expression in her eyes was one of tarnished innocence. Even if she was wearing blue jeans and a simple sweater, lovely in her simplicity, her eyes would give her away. This girl may be the same age as her own but it was plain to see that she was haunted by the life she had been forced to live and Joyce’s maternal instincts went into overdrive. “Buffy it is so nice to meet you, the kids have told me so much about you. Come on in and we can all get to know each other.”

It seemed so simple but after spending an hour with Joyce and the others Buffy knew how lucky they all were. They were a family, even a stranger could see that and she found herself yearning to be a part of that close knit group. But there was still to much of the girl from the streets still inside of her to let herself hope that she could belong there with them. Hope couldn’t stop the hunger gnawing in your belly and it couldn’t make something true, so why bother she told herself. She had been fine on her on all these years and even if she let Spike in, she could survive without him if he walked away.

Besides he was more like her than all of them combined, so it wasn’t unnatural that she found herself drawn to him on so many levels, she told rationalized, as the conversations flowed around her. He understood her in a way that these people never could, because like her he lived in the darkness. They might all fight evil but they just visited that world while she and Spike belonged to it. It had created them, altering their perspective and forging them into the people they were today and that wasn’t something that could be undone with a few dinners.

Even when she had been a part of the conversations and passed the plate of warm food to the person next to her, she still felt like she was on the outside looking in. Like recognizes like and Buffy knew these people weren’t like her and sooner or later they would realize that and pull away. So it would be better in the long run if she just ignored those unspoken desires and stuck to the world she did know. It wasn’t great and it sure as hell wasn’t pleasant but it was familiar and consistent in it’s own way, she decided. “That was a wonderful dinner Mrs. Summers but Spike promised to take me on my first official patrol and we should probably get to it.”

“But I thought we we’re all going to the Bronze later?” Willow said quickly.

“Maybe we’ll swing by there after we take out a few vamps but I really want to get my first hunt in before the Watcher shows up.” Buffy said getting to her feet.

“If you give me a minute, I’ll go get my coat. Kinda show you the ropes.” Faith said wondering what was up.

“Don’t sweat it, you’ve all finish up your dinner. But next time, sure I’d like to see you in full slayer mode.” Buffy turned back to Joyce and gave her a polite but distant smile. “Thanks again for having me Mrs. Summers.”

“You’re welcome here any time you like Buffy and please call me Joyce.” She told her getting up to walk them to the door. She could see the poor girl was desperately trying to escape but she didn’t know why. “The same goes for you Spike and you two be careful out there.”

“Sure thing Joyce, safe as houses.” He assured her with an easy grin.

The second they were out the door and down the sidewalk, Spike shot Buffy a knowing look. “Domestic overload, huh pet?”

“Tell me about it, I though families like that only existed on sitcoms.” She said taking a fortifying breath of the crisp night air. “She was nice though so let’s head off to the Bronze and kill something so it wouldn’t be like we lied to her or anything.”

“The Bronze isn’t exactly the ideal place to patrol. There might be one or two vamps hanging about but their older and a bit more careful about calling attention to themselves.” Spike said thinking he had a pretty good idea about what had been going through her mind back there. She had shown up expecting a slap and when it hadn’t come she wasn’t sure what to do but she had stuck it out a full hour so he figured she deserved an A for effort. “We’d have better luck trying the cemeteries. A mite quicker I recon as well.”

“Faith may go looking for vamps but I got my own way of doing things. When we get close to the place, stay back a bit.”

“What do you have in mind luv?”

“Watch and learn lover, watch and learn.” She said cryptically with a toss of her head.

When the got close to the Bronze, he did as she asked wondering what she was planning. Before she had even made it up to the door he saw a man come up to her and despite the overwhelming amount of sun in California, his unusually pale skin told Spike that he wasn’t a man at all. He watched her try to lead the man inside but after a few halfhearted struggles she allowed him to lead her towards the alley. That was when he decided he had held back long enough, he knew that she wasn‘t carrying a stake and she didn‘t even have a cross to fall back on.

Moving closer he heard the sounds of a struggle and just as he rounded the corner he saw her launch into a spinning side kick and using the long heel of her shoe as a stake, dusted him. “I wondered why you wore those shoes. I would have never thought of them as a weapon.”

“Neither did he, which was why it was so easy. Sometimes it‘s just good to be a girl.” She brushed at the bits of ash that had landed on her and sent Spike a sultry smile. “So now that’s all out the way, let the game begin lover.”
 

19.

He followed her inside the club, the air was warm from all the bodies pressed together in one place. But even in all of the clashing scents, booze, coffee, food and perfume he could smell her. He watched as the crowd parted eager to welcome her into the fold of humanity. If he hadn’t lived for a century, he would have believed it was simply because she was beautiful but there were lots of beautiful women in the club tonight and not a single one of them was commanding the kind of attention Buffy was receiving from the males in attendance. It wasn’t because she was a slayer, humans never looked beneath the surface for such things but it was because of the sexual energy pulsing around her like a velvet heartbeat.

His demon recognized her, not as food but as a predator in her own right, he thought taking a seat at one of the unoccupied table just at the edge of the dance floor. Everything in her eyes whispered of dirty secrets in dark rooms and looking at her, you believed that you were destined to be the one to claim her. He wasn’t fooled, he knew this was the face she donned when she was working because he had seen the true depths of her passion lingering in her eyes after her kill outside. Buffy equated sex with power and she wielded it effortlessly and ruthlessly.

Watching her, he saw her whip one man after another into a sexual heat and then without warning turn away to begin the process all over again. It was like she was drinking them in and when they had nothing left to feed her, she sought out her next victim. Every so often she would flick her eyes in his direction as if she could feel him watching her and he saw the confusion become clearer after the first hour had passed. He knew she was expecting his to come to her and willingly lay his body at her feet like the others but if he wanted to win this game they were playing he had to do it on his own terms. Right now he would only show her the cold disinterest that she had shown him at their first joining and when his jealousy had overwhelmed his blood he would go to her and show her what it meant to be his beloved.

As the crowd started to thin out, he made his move towards, carefully remaining out of her line of sight, stalking the huntress in her own den of iniquity. He waited for the song to change, letting her feel his presence but not see him. When she turned her back and a slow rhythmic beat began to fill the air, he made his move. Coming up behind her, he reached out his hands to stroke up the side of her thighs but kept the rest of his body just out of her reach. Instantly, her head tilted back and she was the one to bring the bodies together.

She knew before his hands every touched her that he was finally coming to claim his dance and in her heart she knew he had already won. All of the faceless bodies that she had writhed against tonight had not been able to kindle the searing flame of need that had spurted through her veins at the feel of his hands touching her. She wanted everything his hands and the feel of his cock pressing against her ass had to offer but it was in her nature to make him work for his victory. Turning in his embrace, she snuck one hand beneath his shirt to brush across the hard flat planes of his stomach.

He sucked in a sharp breath and she decided to drive them both a little insane. She turned her body so that anyone watching wouldn’t be able to see what she was doing and slowly began to stoke him through the fabric of his jeans. To her surprise and regret he reached down to grab her hand mid-stroke.

He wrapped on hand around her waist and pulled her hard against him. “Is this what you want luv?”

Unable to think, only able to feel it was like her body was a single throbbing nerve and she nodded before she could stop herself.

“Say it Buffy…say you want me.” He demanded reaching up to cup her face in his palm.

“I want you.” She said breathlessly, feeling like her body was being smothered by her own need. He felt so incredibly hot pressed against her and everywhere their skin touched it was like being burned with a hot poker. Her nipples had gone hard and she could feel the wet warmth of her desire soaking into the soft silk of her panties. None of her defenses had been braced for this kind of overwhelming need and she was completely helpless. That alone should have made her pull away but instead of being afraid she truly felt like she was free. She had worked herself into a frenzy and feeling him against her she knew that he was the only one who could sate the beast struggling to burst free inside her. “Now Spike…please.”

Not needing another word he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the back exit knowing that if he had to wait for her another moment, he would shove her down and take her there on the floor, without a thought about the people around them. Flinging open the back door, the cold air hit them like a closed fist but they were to lost in the inferno of their need to be denied now. He had just enough sanity left to lead her into the dark out of the sight of prying eyes before he roughly shoved her back into the wall. She gave a soft cry of pain tinted pleasure and that was all his demon needed to push his human façade away. “Say you want this,” he ordered, kissing his way down her neck seeking the place where her pulse pounded like a living thing trying to escape.

She reached down to unfasten his pants and her long fingers drew him out quickly. Reason had no meaning in this moment and she wanted everything the husky growl in his voice offered. She had seen his face shift and more than anything she wanted to be possessed by him in every way. She bent her neck and reached beneath her skirt to tear away the barrier separating them. “I’m yours, Spike…so take me. Take me away from all of the pain…make me feel….make me bleed.”

In one move, he rammed his cock into her and sunk his fangs deep into her neck. The double penetration of fang and flesh, ripped a moan from her throat as her body tensed around him. Pressing her back against the wall for leverage, she brought her legs around him and forced him to go deeper inside of her. While his lips siphoned away her blood, she rode him like an animal quivering to mate. The solid whap of her thighs coming down on him with barely restrained force, echoed through the quiet alley like the sound of approaching thunder. She moaned incomprehensible words as his hand reached out to roughly fondle her breast and when she felt him tear his mouth away, she moaned at the loss of closeness.

Shoving her shirt down, he pinched her nipple between his index finger and his thumb while he lowered his lips to take his second bite of her flesh. “Say yes Buffy,” he murmured his breath sticky against her skin from her own blood coating his words.

“Yes, Spike oh god yes…” she cried out as her orgasm ripped though her like a blade sharp enough to slice through bone and flesh effortlessly.

He sank his fangs into the top of her breast near where her heart pounded frantically, while his hips still thrust against her, never breaking the furious rhythm their untamed desire had set. He wrenched his mouth away to moan out his own release and he reached his hands down to cup her ass, forcing her body to meet him thrust for bruising thrust. When he had emptied himself inside her, he slowly withdrew and pulled away for a moment to look into her eyes. She had promised to let him claim her but she didn’t know what that had meant. The bites would bind them even if she wasn’t willing but the man wanted her to want him as badly and as desperately as he wanted her. “If I bite you a third time luv, you’ll never be free of me, even when I am nothing more than dust. Do you want this because once it is done it can never be undone, not even by death.”

The part of her brain that registered the words boiled it down to a single word…trapped. While the part of her heart that had been hungry for affection for so very long came up with a different interpretation, she wouldn’t have to be alone anymore, forever cuts both ways and he was willing to give all of his tomorrows to her. She thought about everything she had seen in him, the good and the bad trying to mentally assess the risks but the moment she met his eyes her heart told the answer. Her passion had cooled, the first wave of need had subsided and she still wanted to feel his body close to hers. She had only known him a short while but he called to her in a way that she thought was impossible…he touched her soul and in doing so, caused her to be reborn.


He saw the first tear tremble down her lashes and he let it run down her face feeling the change in her. A subtle blush of life cast light under her skin as if some veil had been lifted and she was free from whatever shadows had cast her in the unnatural darkness of depression.

“I can’t Spike…I’m dying and I can’t drag you down with me. I love you to much to do that to you.”

20.

“What are you saying Buffy?” Spike asked softly, unable to bear the pain in her eyes and voice.

“Pancreatic Cancer, one of the only things my mom every gave me.” She broke off for a minute to straighten her clothes, needing some barrier between them as she talked. “When I was fifteen, the family I was staying with was going to adopt me. While the papers were going through the system, they tried to add me to the health insurance. During the mandatory health screening, my lab work came back with an abnormality. A few tests later I was diagnosed and the family decided they didn’t want a kid with cancer. The state paid for the surgery and my treatment and when I turned sixteen they told me that it had spread. They gave me drugs and they made me sicker than the cancer ever had. I overheard the doctor telling my social worker that I would have a few years at the most and I decided I was better off living what ever time I had left on my own terms.”

“But you could go back on the drugs and…”

“Wrong.” Buffy said softly. “Being a whore had its own risks and when I started getting sick again I thought I had picked up something from one of my johns. I went to one of the free clinics and found out I was clean STD wise but my labs showed that my cancer was spreading even more quickly than the other doctor could have guessed. Turns out slayer healing may work like a charm on nicks and stab wounds but it was like adding gas to the fire when it came to my cancer. The doctor gave me some more meds but he told me I had maybe a year left…that was about six months ago. Which was why I wasn’t overly surprised when Tara said I had the aura of a dead person.”

“Buffy I am so…” Spike said reaching for her but he found himself roughly shoved away.

“Don’t say that you’re sorry for me Spike.” Buffy told him coldly. “After the life I’ve led, cancer was like getting out early for time served. I made peace with the fact that the end was seriously neigh and then I met you. I’ve lived more in this moment with you than all the years before that combined so don’t ruin that by feeling sorry for me. I finally got to know what it was like to be happy and that was something you gave me. You made me feel safe and warm, loved…you showed me what it was like to be loved. After nineteen miserable years, I knew what it was like to be not be alone and to feel something other than pain. Which is why I can’t let you take that third bite…I won’t bring you down with me, just after I learned what it was like to really live.”

“There is another way…let me bring you over.” Spike said softly his voice heavy with pain. Love was blinding but it also could make you see with perfectly clarity in times of absolute darkness. Buffy didn’t deserve to be forced down the path of torment the fates had put her on, one dark twist after another…she had suffered more than a single soul should be forced to bear. If the light, the pure and holy couldn’t see that then the darkness would embrace her. He was death given earthly fet and he could take her some place to hide from the reaper of mortals. Since the devil had always dealt in a different coin, their blood could be used to purchase anything, even another chance at life…or something like it. “You don’t have to be alone anymore and since I can’t go with you…come to me.”

“I have sinned but you’re not talking about delivering me from evil…you’re talking about me becoming it. I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life Spike, but I am not about to become the thing others fear. I know what it’s like to be a victim, frightened and unable to fight back…it would destroy the part of me that you love, if I became the hands reaching out from the darkness.”

“What if you didn’t have to,” Spike said pulling her back into his arms. “Could you live without another moment of pure happiness, if it meant you could live without becoming a monster?”

“The curse…Angel’s curse? What does that have to do with me, I mean it‘s not like there are very many gypsies hanging around Sunnydale.” Buffy said, not understanding what he was trying to tell her.

“When Angel lost his soul, Red restored his curse. He never knew that it had a trigger but your fear of becoming a monster would be enough to trap your soul. It might not work for him because he has always been weak but your will is the strongest I have ever seen. You could still feel everything, just as long as happiness didn’t fill you entirely.” He pressed a firm kiss on her forehead and cupped her face in his palms, stroking his thumb across her cheek. “I’ll hide you away and keep you from hurting anyone until she can perform the spell. Just like you I have never felt complete, then I met you and all of the missing pieces fell into place. I’ve been waiting for you forever luv, and I am not about to let you go just when we found each other. You’ve been cold inside but your body feels alive and this is the chance to trap that fire beneath the surface and even though your skin is cold to the touch, you’re warm and alive inside. So say yes Buffy, not just because I want you to but because you want to.”

She wished that she could say she wasn’t afraid of the passion in his words but she was. Intimacy was more terrifying than death but like Eve with the first taste of an apple…she couldn’t go back now. It would take more than a single tear to wash away all of the emptiness still inside her but she had been willing to die. So was it really wrong to want a chance to live instead, she asked herself searching her mind. He was offering her a choice. A real choice about where her life could go from here while everything else had been forced on her, expecting her to deal with the aftermath alone.

The Powers had turned her into a slayer but even if she accepted Spike’s offer, she would be the one who decided how to use that power. Control had always been paramount in her life and she had used it to ruthlessly dictate the way the things she hadn’t asked for affected her. It had been the same with her cancer, it wasn’t something she could stop from taking her over but she had refused to let it tell her how to live the years she had left. If she decided to do this, she needed to know that she could control her death just as completely. “I need you to promise me something and if you can’t my answer is no.”

“I would die before I broke a promise to you, so whatever it is you know I will do whatever it takes to keep my word.”

“If the curse doesn’t work or if they won’t do the spell, I want you to promise to kill me. I know that if the demon takes me over completely, I won’t be able to stop myself. So I am asking you to promise that I won’t have to live inside my body watching as my hands are used to kill.”

He wanted to beg her to ask him to promise something else, slay a dragon or some other daunting task, anything other than to be solely responsible for ending her existence. Closing his eyes he tried to imagine pushing a stake into her chest and staring down at the ashes instead of the face he loved but as hard as it was to force the images to play out in his mind, he couldn’t deny her last request. Not because she wouldn’t accept his offer but because she would only truly die if she became the type of thing that could take an innocent life. She was a champion, not because the Powers that Be said it was so but because it was her choice to be. “I promise.” He vowed solemnly, never taking his eyes off of her face. He would do what he must but he alone understood that he had condemned himself to die along with her.

21
Since it could be his last night with her, Spike wanted them to be alone. Taking her hand, he led her out of the alley and back to his crypt. They walked in silence both lost to the thoughts of their future. Were they just like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, destined to join each other in death or would their tale of woe finally end tonight, only to begin a new chapter on the morrow, Spike wondered pushing open the door and leading her downstairs. If this was the end, then he wanted to be as sweet and as perfect as an Indian summer, a warm respite before the harsh winds of winter wrapped around them freezing the marrow in the bones.

Turning to her, he laid a soft kiss on her lips. The fire she kindled in him was still blazing but his passion and the meaning of this moment had turned it into something gentle. Slowly they helped each other undress, exploring each bit of skin they uncovered with their hands or lips. She wore two of his marks, red inflamed flesh bright above the perfection of her creamy white skin and with the final one he would claim her life allowing him to hold her in his heart as she entered the unknown. It took only a single bite and shared blood to sire a vampire, three to claim a person and for them they would do both at the same time.

It was why Drusilla had always preferred Angelus and why he found himself constantly drawn back to her. He had taken her with his third bite, linking them together forever but since his feelings were of possession instead of love, Angelus didn’t feel the bond as strongly as she did. Spike had tried to replace those bites with his own but like he had told Buffy, once it was done it could never be undone. Vampires could claim as many people, even other vampires, as they wanted but once claimed they could belong to no other.

Which why was Dru had never been able to claim him, her body was pledged to Angelus and he alone could be given her marks. Being Angelus, he had refused to allow himself to be tied to her alone for all eternity and Spike had always cursed him and his sire Darla, for ruining her for him. If Darla had claimed Angelus before siring him, that wouldn’t have happened but like Angelus, she had always liked to indulge in the delights of another’s body. Through the centuries they always drifted back to each other but since they never demanded monogamy from one another, Spike had always know it was only lust between them and not love. A claim could be used to say that this person or body was your property but it could also be used to join two vampires together for all of their lives. For Angelus and Dru, it had been nothing more than Angelus saying he owned her but he had always understood that Dru had wanted to belong to Angelus alone.

It wasn’t Angel’s mark that had kept her heart away from him, it had been her love for her sire. She used the mark to keep Angelus inside her while she offered her body to him, Spike thought bitterly. He had claimed a girl once against her will and never did she show him the same devotion that Dru lavished upon Angelus. Angered, he had killed the girl and returned to his dark goddess with the knowledge that once someone was claimed, their own emotions strengthened or weakened the mark. He had hoped to win her affections and when that had failed he stayed because he was to in love with her to leave on the theory that some feeling from her was better than nothing.

Buffy, could fight against the mark he laid on her and make it nothing more than a brand but if she loved him as much as he loved her, she could let him inside her heart in a way no human could understand. He would be able to taste the salty sweet sadness of her tears even if she shed them miles away from where he stood. He would be able to feel everything she was feeling emotionally and if he opened himself up to her she would be able to sense his own emotional state. She wouldn’t feel it as deeply because she was the one who had claimed but if she wanted, he would willingly allow her to claim him as her own, joining them together in a way more complete than the act that humans called marriage.

Noticing that he was lost to his thoughts, Buffy laid her hand on his face to bring him back to her. “Have you changed your mind? If you’re not sure we don’t have to do this.”

“I’ve never wanted anything more.” He told her honestly, finally at peace with his damaging obsession with Dru. He had been a fool to accept a one sided love affair when he could have had everything, so for the first time he felt something very close to gratitude for his grandsire. Unwittingly Angelus had saved him from himself and now he was free to find everything that he ever wanted from the girl now in his arms. He had heard the fear in her voice but also the dejection and he quickly explained to Buffy about the ways the claim worked. “I am not your master and you are not my servant. If you want, my claim on you could be nothing more than marks on your skin like scars of your past or they could be something more. It’s your choice luv and once you are turned I will leave the choice about claiming me as yours, up to you. I know you are the one I want but I want you to take as much time as you need to decide if I am what you want. I love you Buffy but I don’t want either of us to be forced together if the love we share isn’t strong enough to last. I don’t want to feel everything with you and then watch it fade into nothing but a slight recognition of one another.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Buffy said comforted beyond words. After years of going place to place wishing she belonged somewhere, she recognized the bittersweet longing in his voice but she could see in his eyes that he wasn’t choosing her in a desperate need to feel like he belonged somewhere, anywhere. He wanted to belong with her because he loved her and that made the rest of her fears about what was going to happen melt away. Even if she woke up and her passion for him had gone as cold as her skin she knew she wouldn’t be alone again because he would always be there for her. If she couldn’t love him, he would still be her friend, even though he wanted more. She had already put her trust in him before this but now she knew that no matter what happened he would always keep his word to her. “Make love to me Spike, because when I die I want to remember it until I wake up in your arms again.”

Overcome with emotion her picked her up in his arms and carried her towards the bed. He made love to her gently, each caress creating an indelible memory in their minds so that if it was the last time, it would last forever. His hands brushed over and her skin and when he slid inside her, he found her warm and wet. Bending down his head, he sucked her nipple into his mouth rolling his tongue around it drawing a sweet moan in response. Her hands gripped his shoulders, urging him to take more of her, take all of her. They didn’t speak, everything they needed to say had already been said and anything else would just sound like goodbye. But they were not silent. The air was warm and rich with the moans and gasps of their shared passion and when her heartbeat began to race and her body contracted around him he knew his own release was close.

They had been lost inside each other for hours, discovering the hidden secrets of each others bodies but they both had also been prolonging what was to come. She could feel the tension in his shoulders as he struggled to fight against his own desire demanding to be sated and she knew it was time. Closing her eyes, she turned her face bearing the long line of her neck, exposing his previous bite to his hungry eyes and whispered the three words she knew would push him over the trembling peak. “I love you.”

She felt his lips cover the earlier bite and when she felt his seed, sticky and warm flood inside her, she felt his fangs drop back into her already tender skin, going even deeper than before. Sucking in her breath, she felt her life draining into him and her heart begin to slow. When his wrist, wet with his blood pressed against her lips, she opened her eyes and stared into his as she opened her mouth to drink him in. His blood was both acidic and sweet, like a caramel apple melting on her tongue and she could feel the change inside her as the first cloying drop made its way down her throat. She closed her eyes as she felt her body slowly begin to pull away and her last thought before the darkness clouded her vision was that dying seemed so familiar as if she had died a thousand deaths before finally surrendering to this one.

Spike held her in his arms while her heart took it final shuddering beat and even though he knew she would open her eyes again, he felt the first tears gather behind his eyes. He sat there holding her close, mourning the loss of her life until her skin grew cold. Pressing a soft kiss on her lips, he laid her down and wrapped the covers over her. He didn’t want to leave her, even for a moment but the clock on the bedside table told him that sunrise was only a few hours away and he had much to do. Quickly pulling on his clothes, he headed up the stairs knowing that it was time to tell the others about what had happened and trying to think of a way to do it without ending with them both being staked in the process.

Seconds after the echo of the crypt door being pulled shut had faded, Buffy opened her eyes expecting to see Spike looking back at her. Realizing that she was alone, she laid her head down on her knees and began to cry.

Spike felt a wave of misery wash over him unexpectedly but thinking that it was his guilt over what he had done he pushed it out of his mind and made his way to Giles’s house.

22

*** After reviewing past BTVS and AtS episodes, I have concluded that there is no constant explanation for how long it takes for a vamp to rise. In the Angel episode “Why we fight,” (the flashback episode taking place on a sub) Lawson rises pretty quickly, like within the hour quickly. They never say it on the show, but the fact that they are dead in the water and rapidly running out of air with enemies all around, I am pretty sure it didn’t take three days. So since the Almighty Joss, who I worship by the way, can bend the rules in a pinch then I hope you don’t mind if a mere mortal like myself follows his example plus there are always well...cirumstances ***


“How could you do this?” Faith demanded shoving Spike back several steps. When Giles had paged her, she had known it wasn’t because the bank was handing out money but she had no idea that it would be this bad. “She tried to trust you and the second she turned her back you killed her.”

“She was dying.” Spike said simply, leveling her with a cold glare. “Turns out that being called as a slayer, shorted her lifespan in the not so normal way.”

“What are you talking about?” Faith asked, trying to burry her anger enough so that she could think again.

“Cancer, she had it and the power of the slayer made it worse.” He told them about what Buffy had shared with him. “You’ve always complained about how bein’ the slayer ruined your life but for her, it stole it away. So I gave it back and now I need to know how long it will take to get what you need for the curse.”

“I’m sorry that she was dying but we aren’t going to help her cheat fate.” Faith said coldly, as the memories of what had happened to Billy Fordham tore through her mind like a hurricane. He had been in the same position as Buffy and like her he decided that becoming a vampire was the perfect cure for cancer. He hadn’t deserved to die either but Faith had done what needed to be done and she would do so again.

“Oh what, you can whip a curse for your boyfriend when he’s tryin’ to destroy the world with blood still drying on his hands but when Buffy needs the same thing, suddenly it’s not something you’re willing to do to save her.”

“Angel didn’t chose to become Angelus; it was forced on him.” Faith shot back, that one point certain and clear in her mind.

“She didn’t chose to be a slayer, it was forced on her and it was going to bloody well kill her.” Spike said tossing her own words back at her.

“I’ll do the spell.” Willow said softly, seeing Spike’s point. When Faith turned to shoot her an accusing glare, Willow stood her ground. “Spike’s right Faith. I’m not saying that Buffy did the right thing but I can’t blame her either. She hasn’t hurt anyone but herself and that means she is still someone worth saving.”

“I gotta go with Will on this Faith,” Xander said adding in his two cents. “Buffy’s the victim here and if she needs our help, then we should help her.”

“There is another reason to perform the spell.” Giles told them stepping away from the wall. “She is not the first slayer to be turned and when she awakens she will have both the power of a slayer and vampire. As you can imagine that kind of power on the side of evil, puts many innocent lives at risk. The last time it happened was in the early sixteen hundreds and it took nearly an army to destroy the girl and the vampires who aligned themselves with her.”

“What is it with you guys, Buffy comes to town and suddenly you all take her side on everything.” Faith burst out before she could stop herself. “I told you she was dangerous and now that she has become some sort of ubervamp, you all are still defending her!”

“It’s not like that Faith,” Willow said getting to her feet. “This isn’t about us picking her over you; this is about us trying to do the right thing. She’s not a bad guy and the spell can make sure she stays that way.”

“Until she gets a happy and then how many people would have to die because we didn’t do the right thing now?” Faith shot back.

“Then I guess it’s time to go slay Angel, cuz the same goes for him, doesn’t it?” Xander asked getting up off of the sofa to go stand beside Willow and Tara. “It’s no secret that I hate the guy but even I gotta admit he’s saved the day once or twice. You know in between the murders and trying to end the world and hey Spike, another guy I hate, but you let him live. His chip could break but we just let him run around tame...which I said was a bad idea, I know, but you were the one who decided not to stake him. So you gotta see why I am all confused about why you won’t help Buffy.”

“It’s not the same thing and you all know it!” Faith said slamming her hands down on the occasional table hard enough to make the lampshade jiggle and clack against the base. Every time something like this came up, it always ended with someone bringing up Angel and she was getting sick of it. “This isn’t something that happened to her against her will, she chose this. She did have a choice, not a great choice but it was still a choice, and she chose to become a demon. I killed Ford for the same reason and If I don’t stake her he would have died for nothing. I left him in a building to be eaten by vamps, knowing what would happen and when you do something like that it should mean something.”

“Faith if we would have known about the curse then would you have used it on him?” Willow asked softly, seeing why this was so hard for her.

“No...” Faith said without bothering to think it over. “It takes more than just a soul to stop someone from being a killer, they have to care. Ford was so vampstruck that he would have still played the role he had seen a thousand times on TV. He was willing to kill me to get his slice of immortality and that meant that he wasn’t an innocent victim. You said it yourself Tara, Buffy was neutral and when she wakes up she won’t be.”

“Can I add my take on the situation?” Buffy said pushing open the front door. She looked back over her shoulder for a moment and then back at Faith. “I could hear you outside and let me tell you, you’re screaming loud enough to wake the dead.”

Without having to think about it, Faith grabbed one of the stakes off of the table and headed towards her. Seeing what was about to happen, Spike put himself between them. “She can’t come in without an invite; I’ll take her back to my crypt until you can do the spell. You don’t have to do this.”

Faith knew that if she staked Buffy, her friends would never forgive her but more than that, Buffy looked so innocent and happy that she couldn’t raise the stake or step forward. “If she hurts anyone before the spell is cast or it doesn’t work...then the deals off.”

“Don’t bother with the spell, it’s kinda pointless.” Buffy said stepping across the threshold without the slightest bit of resistance. “As you can see, I’m not exactly your normal vamp.”

Faith took a step back, putting her closer to her friends and cast a quick and desperate look at Giles. “What’s going on?”

Buffy walked into the center of the room and gave Faith a wry grin. “Your friends the Powers like having me around. Personally I think they like sticking it to me every chance they get and this is just the latest game of whack Buffy around. I died, followed the shimmering bright light down the yellow brick road and got a stiff lecture from my new guide. Seems they have some grand plan for me and since I wasn’t playing by their rules, they decided to lay on me their own version of a curse. I got to see heaven, found some peace and then they ripped me out of there and plopped me back down in my body. It hurt like hell, let me tell you and since Spike wasn’t there, I figured he came to give you the bad news.” She didn’t mention that she had cried for a good half hour thinking that he had abandoned her like everyone else, because that was something she was definitely not sharing, she’d rather be staked.

“If I wouldn‘t have known you would rise so soon I would have never left you.” Spike said softly, wrapping his arms around her to pull her close. Her words had explained the sadness that had assaulted him out of nowhere in the graveyard and he cursed himself for being such a sodden fool. He and Angel had risen after they were buried but Darla and Dru both had risen the same night they were turned. Just like every human birth was different so was the rebirth of every vampire. Sometimes it took days and with others it could happen within hours. As her sire and protector he should have taken some sort of precaution, because one thing was absolute, all new vamps woke up hungry.

As if she had read his mind or just the guilt on his face, Faith gave Buffy a considering look. “Have you fed yet?”

She pulled out of Spike’s embraced, but remained close by his side. “Nope but don’t worry, I’m not about to turn your friends into Scooby snacks. Thing is I don’t really feel any destructive urges. I’m actually believe it or not, in a pretty good mood. So either Spike’s blood was well...spiked or my guide left something out when he was explaining my new ‘gifts’.”

“You still have your soul...but it’s different. I me...me...mean in a good way. Before you were alive but your aura was dark and now that your dead your aura seems alive...I...I...can’t explain it.” Tara said shyly, still uncomfortable being the center of attention. She was shy by nature but she knew they were her friends, so she rarely stuttered around them anymore. Except when she was called on to explain something, she thought chastising herself. They all had been doing this for a while and she was afraid that she wouldn’t measure up because they had already done so much to prove themselves. “Maybe it’s a part of the reason you can come in without an invite.”

“No, I think it’s because of something else.” She gave Spike a look, knowing that he would understand what she was trying to say. “But my guide did give me a brief rundown about my new special skills, which is how I knew I could come in without an invite. But hey don‘t feel bad, you got a gift from the Powers too.”

“Yeah and what’s that?” Faith asked, calming down somewhat. Even she could admit that she had spun off kilter because she was starting to feel left out. She had saved the world how many times now and the new girl had willingly become a vamp and everyone was bending over backwards to help her, even the Powers. So it was nice to know that she hadn’t been forgotten.

“See I’m only part demon so to pull this off they had to give you back some of my slayer powers. The story I got was when you died, some of your power was fed into the next slayer and eventually that power made it’s way to me. When I died, it was suppose to go to another new Chosen One but the Powers think you’re a pretty good deal for a slayer. So to make a long story short they...well called you again. You were a couple gallons short of slaygirl power and now you just got your tank topped off making you the one and only again. So don’t die again or you will just end up breaking in another new slayer.”

Buffy saw the happiness dance in Faith’s eyes like fireworks going off and she cast a quick glance at Riley. “So go careful on your boy there, because you just got a major recharge. It might take you a bit to get used to all your new power.”

“Good to know I’m appreciated,” Faith said casually but she was unable to keep the smile from spreading across her face. “But what about you...how are you different?”

“Sunlight doesn’t make me go all flammable but if I stay in it for too long, I get weak and a very nasty sunburn. Crosses and holy water aren’t really a problem either but mirrors are out. So expect my personal appearance to suffer greatly until I work that one out. I’m on the liquid diet but check this out,” She opened her mouth and her front teeth elongated into fangs while the rest of her face stayed the same.

“You didn’t get well...bumpy!” Willow said brightly. It seemed like Buffy’s good mood was infectious and since even Faith seemed a little happier it was hard not to just go with it.

“I know, pretty nifty huh. I did get my very own demon but everyone has their demons right so atleast mine is upfront about it. But everything else is pretty much the same.” Buffy lied easily, not wanting to ruin Faith’s good mood by telling her that her own strength had also been doubled. As far as she could see the girl had earned her place in the Champion hall of fame so it was hard to be upset over her not being thrilled with everything that had happened. “But I bet that bastard Travers won’t see it that way, so maybe I just got a get-out-of-slayer-duty-free-card!”

“I highly doubt that, Travers will see you as more of an asset than ever.” Giles said dryly relieved that the Powers had intervened on the girl’s behalf. Like the others, he hadn’t been able to blame her for looking for a way out. After the life she had lived, he could understand why she had made a desperate decision in the heat of the moment.

But he would be a fool if he just trusted her on her word alone. “I hope that you won’t take this the wrong way but I think it is prudent to make sure that everything you’re telling us is the truth.”

“Listen, I understand. You all have to do what you gotta do.” Buffy said giving them all a bright smile, letting them know that she wasn‘t upset at them for not trusting her instantly. She knew better than most people that trust wasn‘t just something you gave away, it was something that had to be earned...and someday she wanted to earn theirs. “I caught the first act outside and Faith had every right to want to stake me. I mean if I were in her place, I wouldn’t be all forthcoming with the benefit of the doubt either. I can’t justify what I did but I told Spike that if the spell wasn’t a go or if it failed that I wanted to be staked. She was just trying to protect you and I’m cool with doing whatever it takes to make you feel safe around me.”

“I should have been more willing to try the spell, because something tells me you would have.” Faith admitted guiltily, hoping to ease a bit of her inner turmoil. She had been jealous plain and simple and since it was obvious that things had worked out, she had to be able to admit that.

“We’re a lot alike Faith, we both do what has to be done. There is no shame or blame in that and atleast in your case you weren’t thinking about yourself, but them. You were right about me taking the easy way out and as hard as it is for me to admit this...you were right. I spent a lot of years just getting by and it’s pretty sad that I had to die to understand what it was like to feel. You’re not like that, you feel everything and even though I have been discovering that part of myself for the last hour or so, I can say that it is a hell of a lot harder than closing yourself off.” Buffy reached out and took Spike’s hand in her own just because she wanted to be close to him, something she would have never done before tonight. “That tells me you’re a strong person and I respect that. Which is why you’re still standing here when all the slayers called after you have fallen.”

“You haven’t fallen Buffy,” Faith said touched by her words. To her it looked like Buffy had finally picked herself up and that was something she respected. “You’re just getting a fresh start.”
 

23
After passing all of Giles’s tests, Buffy was officially declared safe and it actually felt pretty good being an official Scooby, she thought with a smile. She didn’t know how long the euphoria currently floating through her mind was going to last but she had one more task to complete for the Powers and even through the happy haze clouding her vision, she knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant. Catching Faith’s eye she jerked her head towards the kitchen.

Casually Buffy got up or it would have been if Spike hadn’t tried to rise with her. So much for a secret meeting in the kitchen, Buffy thought taking a deep breath, forgetting that she didn‘t need to breathe anymore. “Faith and I are needed somewhere and it’s…well it’s in LA.”

“What is in LA luv and if you say Angel, I think you two won’t be going alone.”

“What I’m your honey for all of one day and suddenly you decide you don’t trust me?” Buffy teased hoping to lighten the mood.

“It’s not you I’m worried about and I betting Captain America is thinking the same thing.”

Since there was no way in hell either Spike or Riley were coming, Buffy put all of her extensive knowledge of men to good use. “Well since both Faith and I can beat Angel to a bloody pulp if he tries to make a pass, you either don’t trust us or your jealous.” She turned to look at Faith. “Is he really that amazing in the sack, cuz the way these two act I’m starting to think you’ve been holding out on me.”

Instead of waiting for Faith to answer Spike pulled Buffy roughly onto his lap and kissed her senseless. His claim on her flared to life and she felt like her body was being poured into his. Behind her she heard someone clear their throat but it was easy to ignore with her hands pressed against Spike’s hard chest and his skilled tongue writhing against hers in a dance as sensual as sex itself.

Knowing that he had ended that debate in it’s tracks, he pulled away. “What was that you were saying pet?”

She opened her mouth but her brain refused to kick into gear. Giving a light shake of her head, she gave him a deep smile. “Very nice lover, which means you don’t trust me.”

“You know it’s not that luv, it’s just that I don’t want to let you go even for a minute. And the fact that you don’t want me to come along makes me feel downright unwanted.”

“I died for you, that should tell you how badly I want you. But this is something I’ve got to do. I’ve got to lay my past to rest so I can have my future with you and seeing him is a part of that. He is the reason I came here but it is more than that. I was running away and I need to go back there to close that chapter of my life. I grew up on those streets, in those alleys and my place is still there full of my things and I need to go back and get them. So all of me can be here, with you.” She reached over and stroked her hand through his hair, amazed at how soft it felt sliding through her fingers. It was like touching spun silk and since he had an obvious penchant for industrial strength hair bleach, it was just one of the mysterious of life that she was waiting to discover.

“Besides you’ll look pretty bad when I don’t throw a fit about Faith going.” Riley said with an easy shrug as the two lovers on the sofa got lost in each others eyes. He knew that Buffy’s words weren’t just true about her but also about Faith, which is why she had asked her to come along. Buffy had seen straight to the heart of the matter before and he was glad to see that hadn’t changed.

Spike still hated the idea but he couldn’t say no with Buffy looking at him like that, like he was loved beyond measure. “When will you go?”

“Tonight, but we should be back by this time tomorrow. We’ll stay at my place in the city and since I still have my rental car, we’ll have wheels. But if you want…you can move the rest of my stuff to your place.” Buffy said glancing at him shyly. “I don’t know when the English invasion will show up or if I will still get paid but I wouldn’t mind staying with you. I‘m still technically a vampire so crypts are like our natural habitat right and your place is way better than that place so grandly called a hotel room.”

“What’s mine is yours luv.” Spike said touched that she wanted to move in with him. He had been afraid with all the changes in her life, she would be fighting her feelings but it seemed that she was embracing everything, trying to drain every last sensation from each new feeling she uncovered. Watching her talk, smile and laugh was like watching a withered rose begin to bloom. She was bursting with life even though her heart didn’t beat and he was going to miss her for every single second she was gone because without her there was no joy in his life.

Afraid that one or both of the guys would change their minds and go caveman on them again at any second Buffy took another quick kiss and dragged Faith out the front door. They parted long enough for Buffy to grab some things and to bring the car back to Faith’s to pick her up. Within a half hour they were headed to LA.

“Are you really this okay with everything or is it just a show for our benefit.” Faith asked. She had intended to ask what they were doing and why she had to come but since she knew atleast part of the answer she didn’t want to hear the rest. Buffy was giving her a chance to say goodbye to Angel on her own terms and she was grateful for it, but she couldn’t help being confused by the drastic change in Buffy’s attitude. “I mean your little Miss Sunshine and smiles and you used to be all dark and moody.”

“I left out something important when I was talking about my trip to Never Never land. The Powers offered to let me stay or I could come back as I am now.” Buffy said without taking her eyes off of the road.

“But why would you leave heaven, I mean no offensive but it isn’t like your life is the stuff of dreams.”

Buffy gave Faith a very stern look. “If you ever tell anyone that I gushed and got this corny, I swear I will bite you…but I don’t need to die to find heaven, I feel it every time Spike looks at me or touches me. Somehow he was strong enough to face the cold inside me and make me feel warm again and I wasn‘t about to lose that. He didn’t just save me from my disease, he saved me from the emptiness inside me. After that, not even that glimpse of heaven felt as wonderful or as fulfilling as being with him. I‘d take a moment in his arms before an eternity of peace without him. It hurt coming back here but mostly because he wasn’t there when I opened my eyes. I’ve got abandonment issues, I can admit that but the second I saw him, the pain went away.”

Feeling uncomfortable, Buffy switched the mood to one she was more at home with and turned to give Faith a wicked smile. “Besides perfection would get boring after awhile and something tells me I am never going to be bored with him around.”


Not willing to let it go until she understood her, Faith refused to let Buffy stop now. “So why didn’t you tell him?”

“What and make him feel guilty, no thank you. If he wants to feel guilty it can be because my jelly beans are no longer full of candy goodness but I don’t want him to feel guilty because I loved him enough to stay with him. I am new to this whole, relationship/love thing, but even I know love shouldn’t be used to make you feel guilty.”

“So you’re really okay with your new vampire self, I mean besides the candy issues?”

“Honestly, I am kinda like a junkie in the middle of one crazy trip. I mean I went from having maybe six months to live to an eternity and I found someone who loves me and got a quick trip through heaven to boot. Right now, nothing can really get me down but sooner or later I will come back down to reality. I won’t be emotionless girl but trust me when I say the hyper happy cheerleader persona is not me. I’m sure that one day I will get up to look in the mirror and it will all hit me but atleast this time when I hit rock bottom I won’t be alone.”

“You have got it bad girl.” Faith said unable to resist laughing at how much Buffy sounded like a girl knee deep in love and sinking fast.

“I wasn’t just talking about Spike.” Buffy admitted deciding she just better say it all, before getting her toes broken one by one, was preferable to talking about her feelings again. “When I was at your house all I could think was that I could never belong with all of you. Your standard square peg in a round whole. But then I heard them stand behind me when they thought I was a soulless vampire and if they didn’t abandon me then, I realized that maybe I did have a chance for a new life.”

“I let you down didn’t I.” Faith asked sadly.

“No, because here you are riding in a very confined space with a hungry vampire and I didn’t even have to knock you out first. You made sure everyone else was safe but you and I know that there is always a chance that something bad will slip through. Yet you still trusted me enough to come along. I told you once that I am not here to steal your life Faith and that hasn’t changed but I want to try to make my own there. I’ve got the boyfriend spot filled for atleast a century so I am looking for some friends. If you know anyone who might be interested in befriending an ex-hooker with the disposition that will eventually return to being more cloudy than bright and sunny, send them my way.”

“You know I might just know some people that are exactly what your looking for, but you can count me in.” Faith said giving her a warm smile. “So now that we’re friends tell me the best way to make Riley feel like he’s died and gone to heaven. I’m good but you got paid for it, so you got to know a few tricks of the trade right?”

24

After hearing more than a few things that didn’t sound physically possible , even for a slayer, Faith was still shaking her head when Buffy eased the small two-door, into a space in front of Angel’s building. “So your leg goes where again?”

Knowing that she was stalling, Buffy gave her a bright smile. “Get your mind out of the bedroom and follow my lead. This has the potential to turn into a huge drama but if we do this right, everyone will feel better when it’s all over. I know you have no idea what I am talking about or why we are here but it‘s going to be explained real quick, so just go with the flow.”

When Faith nodded, Buffy unhooked her seatbelt and climbed out of the car heading up the short flight of steps that would lead her to the office. Opening the door the first thing she saw was Cordelia’s tear streaked face and Angel doing his best to comfort her but she also saw the small fridge and that gave her an idea. “Take some time to pull yourselves together but I am starving, so I hope you don’t mind if I help yourself.”

While they looked over at her in total shock, she crossed the room and pulled open the fridge. She scanned the shelves and pulled out a coffee cup filled with blood. This would be her first meal as the undead and even she knew it would be better warm but she was too hungry to care. Raising the glass to her lips she took the first drink, instantly her face contorted into unpleasant lines. “Yech, please tell me that it gets better with time, or else I might just stake myself and be done with it.”

“You died, you’re a...” Angel said unable to force the words past his lips.

She pulled down her shirt to bear the mark on her neck and took another quick sip of blood, which wasn’t any better than the first, she thought disgustedly. “I died but then I wasn’t the only one, I mean those tears are for Doyle right?”

Angel reached into the drawer and pulled out a stake and moved to stand between her and Cordy. “I’m so sorry Buffy.”

“Don’t be but you can put up the stake. I’m a vampire but not the soulless killer kind.”

“You cursed her?” Angel asked looking over to Faith for an explanation.

“Nope, I made a deal with the Powers and part of that is why I am here.” Buffy answered, sitting down the cup and taking a step forward. “I’m only part vampire but I also got a mystical guide to help me fulfill my destiny. I’m guessing that the Powers weren’t to thrilled that I decided to become a vampire so they figured I needed someone looking over my shoulder to keep me out of any more trouble.”

“You willingly let yourself be turned?” Angel asked her, the first notes of rage working it’s way into his voice.

“If that’s not the pot calling the kettle black,” Buffy said with a roll of her eyes. “It’s a long story and not why I am here.”

“Then why are you here?” Angel asked feeling like he had been sucked into an alternate reality. Since Faith was here he believed that Buffy was telling the truth but he still couldn’t see the bigger picture.

“My guide he’s a friend of yours and he asked me to swing by and deliver a few messages. I had to come back to town and get my things and since Doyle’s a nice guy it seemed like the least I could do. I mean he died fighting the Scourge, earning his own little slice of redemption and since he was the one who sent me to Sunnydale in the first place, is it really that big of a surprise that he got tapped to be my guide?” Since Angel still hadn’t dropped the stake, she didn’t come any closer but she shifted so that she could look around his shoulder to Cordelia. “He didn’t just kiss you goodbye; he gave you his visions.”

“What!” Cordy asked getting to her feet to look at Buffy.

“Yeah, I was shocked that he picked you too but he assured me that you were the right person to guide Angel to his own redemption. He gave me some soppy speech about you being a hero in your own right and since I had chosen to be vamped it was really hard to debate the subject with him.” When Buffy saw the raw pain still evident in Cordelia’s eyes, it reminded her of the look in Spike’s eyes as he held her while she died. Misery, as cold and as broken as a winter wind and seeing it color her soft eyes, made Buffy gentle her tone. “He’s happy there, at peace and he wanted me to let you know that.”

“Really,” Cordelia asked softly, afraid that it was just a lie meant to comfort.

“Really but if you want him to stay that way, I would dry those tears. He has a soft spot for the two of you a mile wide and if you keep this up he’ll just send me back here and you wouldn’t want that would you?” Buffy said walking back over to pick up the cup. Hoping to give them some time to absorb everything she had said, she looked down at the cold thick blood and tried to convince herself it was tomato soup.

It might have worked if two humans in the room hadn’t smelled so tasty to her rapidly developing senses. A cup of cold animal blood had nothing on the warm blood of a seer and the slayer. Even though she knew she didn’t want to bite either of them, she was starting to feel like a kid with it’s nose pressed against the glass of a candy store window. Quickly she turned to Faith, “Fill them in on what’s been going on, I’ve gotta go find something to eat.”

“There is some fresh blood downstairs,” Angel said stepping forward. “You can tell me what happened to you, while you warm it up in the microwave.”

“Actually I think you and Faith should have a talk, seeing as she’s in town and all. I bet you two have tons of things to talk about.” Buffy said giving him a pointed look. “I’ll run out to the butcher’s shop and you two can catch up.”

“You may not be a normal vampire Buffy but you can’t be trusted to be on your own just yet. You’re going to need help adjusting to the change and I can help you with that.” Angel said taking a step towards her, thinking that was part of the reason she had come.

“I just spent two hours in a car with Faith, who as you know is just chock full of slayer blood and I didn‘t so much as take a sip. That alone should say I can be trusted but just to head off the inevitable argument, I’ll go downstairs instead of going out. Besides I’m not in town to stay and the sooner you two talk, the sooner we can head back.”

“Buffy you’re going to need someone to explain to you about what it means to be a vampire. Normally your sire would tell you those things but since he or she is probably dust; I am the only person that can help you.”

“Sorry but my sire isn’t dust and since I’m going to be moving in with him when I get back, I’m sure he can handle teaching me vampire basics 101.” Buffy said heading towards the door.

Everyone watched her go and not wanting to witness another Faith/Angel fight, Cordelia gathered her things and said that she was heading home. “Dennis is probably waiting for me.” She said easily, quickly making her way out of the office before the rising tension in the room hit critical levels.

When they were alone, Faith and Angel just looked at each other unsure of what to say or where to begin.

“She’s something isn’t she?” Faith said walking over to take a seat on the sofa. She knew Angel’s face to well to miss the signs of guilt. “She was dying from cancer before you met her Angel, you couldn’t have saved her from this.”

“Couldn’t I Faith? If I hadn’t sent her there...then this wouldn’t have happened. She had survived so much before I met her, then I let her down and she just quits fighting. I destroyed her and in a moment of weakness she became a vampire. So from where I am standing all of this is my fault.”

“The Powers offered to let her die Angel but this was the choice she made. She loves him and for her, he was worth coming back for, whatever the costs. I didn’t understand it at first either but I can tell that he loves her back. He’s the one thing she would give anything for and if I had never met Riley, I wouldn’t be able to understand that.” Faith said bringing the conversation around to while she was here.

“Do you love him that much?” Angel asked expecting to feel his heart twist and when it didn’t, he knew that Buffy had been right when she had told him Faith wasn’t the one for him. And since Faith was here he was willing to believe that Buffy had some sort of talk with her as well.

“I love him enough to know that I can let you go,” Faith said quietly, looking up to meet his eyes. “I’ve been holding onto the idea of us for so long that I almost pushed Riley out of my life. He doesn’t fit in the normal life you left so I could have but then again my life isn’t normal. I’m a vampire slayer and he’s a commando guy trained to fight demons but when we are together we both feel like normal people. And Now that I’m with him, I understand why the world is worth dying to protect.”

“I loved you Faith but I was so busy trying to decide what you needed in your life that I never stopped to ask what you wanted. That was my fault, not yours and I am glad that you found someone who puts your wants and needs first. I couldn’t do that because I don’t know what I want or need, not because you didn’t love me enough. If things could have been different for us, if we were different then maybe I could have.” Angel admitted honestly. His one day as a human had told him that it wouldn’t ever work between them but it had taken seeing her again as he was now, to truly understand that.

“Let’s not worry about what we might have had, lets just leave it in the past where it belongs and move on to our separate futures.” Faith said getting back to her feet. “I’m sure that in some part of my heart I will always love you but given enough time it will turn into the same kind of love I feel for Xander and Willow.”

“From lovers, to enemies, to friends,” Angel said giving her a soft smile, glad that they still had something to show for everything they had been through together. “Maybe that is where we were meant to be all along.”

“Well then, for my first official act as your friend I’m going to give you a bit of advice. If you want to be a part of Buffy’s life, you better be willing to accept friendship because that’s all she has to offer right now.”

“What aren’t you telling me Faith,” Angel said seeing the tense set of her shoulders and her strained smile.

“Her sire…was Spike.”

25
***Okay, many of you are going to hate this chapter with a firey passion but I am trying to make a point here so bear with me. Sorry it has taken me so long to update, i've been busy at my fan fic site, it's private 18+ only due to content but if your interested in checking it out send me an email at Revello1620@yahoo.com***



Instead of wasting his anger on Faith, Angel turned and went to the stairs. Buffy was sitting at his kitchen table, her hair streaming down her shoulder while she poked her spoon in the cup of blood in front of her. She reminded him of a child trying to make their broccoli disappear off of their plate with nothing but sheer will alone.

That thought, would have been enough to tame his temper, if he couldn’t see her bite mark glaringly obvious in the soft yellow light. She wasn’t an innocent child, she had chosen to abandon her innocence just like everything else in her life and that mark reminded him of that. It was jagged and torn like an animal had attacked her and since he knew that animal was Spike, his anger intensified ten-fold. “Why did you let him do this to you?”

“I love him.” She said simply, pushing the cup away. The worst of her hunger was gone, so she would take this blood thing one step at a time she decided getting to her feet.

“You told me you didn’t know how to love.” He said striding across the room to stand in front of her.

“I also told you I didn’t have a soul but it appears I was wrong on both counts.” Buffy said calmly, her happy mood rapidly diminishing with each passing second. “Just like I was wrong to blame you over the phone. You were doing your best to help and I was so angry at the Council that you we’re caught in the cross fire.”

“Why Buffy…I need to know why.”

“Why him and not you or why did I become a vamp? You’re going to have to be a bit more specific.” Buffy said leaning back against the counter.

“Why him for starters.”

“With him I felt alive.”

“So you turned around and let him kill you, that’s really intelligent.” Angel said with a loud snort.

“I know you two have some macho pissing contest going but I don’t give a shit. This is my life Angel and I want to be with him and if you would stop interfering in everyone else’s life you might actually find out who you belong with.”

“What in the hell is that suppose to mean?”

“You’re so busy telling everyone how to live their life that there isn’t enough time left for you to figure out your own. Which is exactly what you want. You like being lost in your guilt, it’s comfortable and safe there. After doing the same thing in my own way, I know how easy it is to just stay like that. I was tired of only getting by, I wanted more for myself. You know why, because he makes me believe I deserve more than that. He makes me feel everything, with him I laugh, cry and even stamp my foot in anger. He brings out my emotions effortlessly, because that is just who he is.”

“Are you really happy with this life?” Angel asked, stunned by how different she seemed. His ears told him that he heart did not beat but she seemed more alive than he had ever seen her before. She was also apparently crazy, if she believed that she felt that way about Spike he thought shaking his head.

“I’ve only been dead a couple of hours but I already like it way better than being alive. Except…,” her eyes slid back to the cup of blood on the table.

Understanding her perfectly, he walked over to the glass. He didn’t believe for a second that her relationship with Spike would last very long and he figured that sooner or later he would be able to explore the spark he felt every time he was around her. But with Faith’s warning still fresh in his mind, he would just have to settle for being her friend, he thought bringing his wrist to his lips. His face shifted and like a surgeon with a scalpel, he used his fangs to make a neat incision across his wrist. He had done it deliberately to separate how different he was from her sire.

He tasted his own blood, aged and rich on his tongue like fine wine and moved his hand over the glass. “I am Spike’s grandsire, so you are in our bloodline. Vampire blood can not sustain your body but it can be used to help during the transition. If you don’t feed the hunger completely, your demon will feel threatened and select it’s own victim. The blood of your sire would be better for your first feeding but the blood of anyone from your bloodline will work, to slake your hunger.”

“If this is a typical sire thing, why didn’t Spike say anything?” Buffy asked him suspiciously despite the fact her mouth was watering at the sight of his blood. Slowly it dripped down into the glass like a broken faucet, leaking down fat drops with soft plops of liquid meeting liquid.

“It is one of the old ways and it wasn’t something I shared with his sire, so she did not share it with him. Blood is a precious gift among the Kindred and you should not share your blood with any lightly. Between those of equal power, blood sharing it a sign of respect but it can be given as a gift or a reward to a lesser vampire.” He could smell her hunger in the air, like hotel sheets bearing the haunting reminder of cheap perfume and he felt his own beast respond.

“You think I am beneath you?” She asked, unconsciously licking her lips at the sight of the blood sliding across his wrist like red satin.

Her words, however innocent stirred his lust to the boiling point and he raised his wrist and held it out towards her. Less than a foot divided them and he could see the need in her eyes, eyes that reminded him of the emerald green fields of his homeland. “You’re right, by not offering the blood from my wound to your lips I have insulted you.” His Irish burr had appeared out of nowhere like he had somehow stepped back a century. “I consider you my equal and I offer you not just a taste of my blood but a full drink to erase the insult.”

“Why the ceremony? I don’t understand why your making this out to be such a big deal. You always seem so laid back and suddenly you’re like a vampire right out of a certain best selling novel.” She said breathlessly, hypnotized by the spilt blood. Everything about him, his words, posture and his tone screamed at her to proceed with caution and she wasn’t about to ignore the warning, just because she was hungry. She had been hungry before, so she knew how to handle the gnawing pain slicing through her stomach. But nothing in her past had prepared her for the unfamiliar world she had just found herself in, Vampire politic.

“Vampires are drawn to the hell mouth and they will sense your power and seek you out. These rights and rituals are still practiced by the Old Ones and someday what I am about to show you could be used to save your life or the life of those you hold dear.”

“Wait a second…show me how. Because I hear the words coming out of your mouth but I don’t think you’re telling me exactly what is going .” Buffy said taking a quick step away.

“My sire was embraced by the Master, the leader of the Order of Aurelius. She passed his blood down to me, I in turn passed it to Drusilla and she passed it onto Spike. Now he has shared it with you. That is what bloodline means the Master of the line, passes his blood down through the centuries and now his blood runs through your veins. Over time that connection has become diluted. Darla and I shared blood freely and over time his blood has become a part of my being.”

He paused long enough to give her a soft smile, dark and intimate like a shared secret between two lovers.


“The more of my blood you drink, the more it will become a part of you and with that comes the knowledge of our line. At first glance you will know who of the Kindred is of our bloodline and you will know our ways as if born to them. It’s a weapon that has served me well since my soul was restored and now I offer it to you.” Angel said softly despite the fact that his desire was a tethered beast pounding beneath his chest screaming to be unleashed. His control of his demon, was exquisite, which was why his name had once been a revered whisper upon the lips of the Kindred. Angelus, a master artisan of death and even though it was a title he sought to forget, his control had not wavered as Angel...or so he thought until.

“You can’t claim me Angel,” Buffy said lowering her top enough to expose the second bite mark, a red welt marring the perfection of the creamy rise of her right breast.

Roughly he shoved her back against the counter, his hips grinding against hers as his face shifted to revel his demon. “You wanted this life so now I am going to show you exactly what it means to be a vampire.” He warned her seconds before darting out as quick as a snake and burying his fangs in her neck, covering Spike’s bites.

Like a leech she could feel him sucking her life away and the scent of her blood mingling in the heavy air with his, snapped the last hold of her control. Instead of pushing him away like she had planned, she raised his bloodied wrist to her lips. Greedily she licked at the blood like a cat searching for the wound, only to find that it had already closed. Growling low in her throat, she felt her fangs elongate and since he was biting her, it seemed only fair that she return the favor and the pain she rationalized desperately trying to give herself the illusion that she was still in control.

Wrapping her mouth around his wrist, she pierced his skin sending her fangs down through the narrow membrane of his veins. Blood spurted into her mouth, like a geyser that had been dormant for too long and the contents had finally gathered enough power to seek their release.

Nothing had prepared her for the assault off her senses that her first bite would bring crashing down upon her like a surging wave. Everyone of her senses were engaged, the texture of his skin and warm gelatinous feel of his blood filling her mouth, the scent of his arousal and of all the blood scenting the air like the delicate flowers of spring. Her ears rung with the sound of him feeding at her neck, wet slurps and greedy mummers, but behind her eyes she watched a life that was not her own. With each crimson drop of his blood, she traveled further into the past, a past she had no desire to see.

Unable to stand the images tormenting her brain, she lifted her mouth from his skin and shoved him away. She could feel his fangs ripping through her flesh at the unexpected movement but the physical pain was nothing compared to the crippling doubt filling her with a sense of hopelessness that she had never imagined was possible. For years she had lived without hope and just when she had begun to believe again, she understood how hope was more painful than death. Your body could die only once, twice in some situations but hope could kill you a thousand different ways without a single wound to show for the pain inflicted upon you. In that moment, she felt her connection with Spike and it was like string being pulled taunt until the delicate strands, so strong when woven together finally snapped. Just like she had always feared she was alone again and this time, not even death could save her. She had escaped hell, turned away from heaven and now all that was left for her was a never-ending purgatory.

26
***Maybe by the end of this chapter you will understand the point I was alluding to in the last chapter but just incase it is still a mystery, ask yourself what could Buffy have seen in Angel and Spike's pasts that could make her doubt his love for her? Shameless site plug for my fan fic site, it's private 18+ only due to content but if your interested in checking it out send me an email at Revello1620@yahoo.com***




Life passes in the blink of the eye but death lasts forever, Buffy thought with a bitter laugh stunned by where she had found herself. She could see by the shocked lines of Angel’s face that he had been expecting something other than a laugh, perhaps an avowal of her unquenchable desire for him or possibly shocked outrage but she wasn’t about to give him either. She was damaged but he was one fucked up puppy, she thought while her short hellish trip through his macabre mind started to fade. “You give great bite, yummy even,” she said rubbing her flat stomach for effect. “It was even full of fun facts to know and share but you still don’t mean a damn thing to me.”

“It had to mean more than that Buffy, I felt his claim on you snap.” Angel said grabbing her arm angrily. “That is impossible so it had to mean something…the way we feel for each other…”

“Do you really think I was thinking about you?” Buffy said letting him hold her arm, knowing he had expected her to pull away. “I was in your mind but all I could think about was him. I love him violently so is it any wonder that my anger towards him would be just as powerful?”

“It wasn’t him that you were devouring it was me!” Angel told her coldly, pulling his hand away as if she disgusted him.

She gave him a smile, a smile she had learned from his memories…the same smile Angelus wore when he went in for the kill. He may have never seen that look in any mirror but she knew when he stepped away that it was as familiar to him as his name. “Your nothing but a body to me Angel, how many times do I gotta tell you that before it finally sinks into your brain? I‘m not your girl, never gonna be either but if you would just open your, eyes you would know who was.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve just seen the world through your eyes, not just ancient history but your present. Since I don’t believe in feeling all sorry for myself and broody, I could see things clearly. Things that you will never understand if you keep going through life with blinders on, things that could make me hate you.”

“What could you have seen that would make you hate me?” Angel screamed at her, feeling as if he was nothing but a bug being crushed beneath her heel. “What have I done that was so wrong, so unforgivable? I may have bitten you against your will but I sure as hell didn’t force you to wrap your lips around me and take me inside you so deeply in a way that he hasn’t.”

She grabbed him by the front of his shirt and jerked him forward until his face was within two inches of her own. “I knew what it was like to not be alone, to be loved and then I let you take it away from me. I didn’t have to bite you and I was weak but I can live with that. I’ve been weak before but for you that is weakness is a part of your pathetic life. Everything that I have ever wanted is right there waiting for you to have enough balls to grab for it and you don’t even try!”

She shoved him back, unable to bear being close to him for another moment. He tumbled down the floor, landing on his ass a few feet away. “I wanted it enough to die and to live and the pain of losing it is a long never-ending scream inside my mind but atleast I had the guts to take what I wanted. You’re like two sides of a coin, Angel and Angelus, good and evil but nothing in life is that simple, that cut and dried. Sinners can find redemption if they bend at the knee and promise to change and you believe that with all your empty heart but in your mind, saints can’t get laid without being dammed forever. I saw the way you were with Cordelia when I walked in and it wasn’t a friend just comforting a friend. You wanted her, the way a man wants a woman but in your narrow little world, you equate love with evil. Loving someone isn’t evil and it sure as fuck isn’t a sin and if you would open your damn eyes you would see that.”

Unable to stand the sight of him, even for a moment longer she adverted her gaze and marched to the stairs. She paused at the first step but she didn’t turn back around. “If you come near me or Spike again…I’ll kill you Angel. I think it’s funny that you have abandoned everything you think belonged to Angelus but you still get off torturing Spike with the same sadistic delight. He tortured you, big deal, Faith sent your ass to hell but I don’t see you running to Sunnydale trying to steal her away from Riley. In this room you told me that you couldn’t have a night of no strings sex but the second I told you I was his, you suddenly decided I was good enough to wrestle with in the kitchen. I don’t know what’s going to happen between me and Spike but either way, you do a single thing to him and I will dust your ass before the next dawn.”

“Does he really mean that much to you or is a soulless killer worth becoming a murder for, in your own narrow minded world?” Angel taunted cruelly, getting back to his feet.

“Murder applies only to humans Angel and you’re not human.” She said slowing beginning her way up the steps.

“News flash sweetheart, neither are you.”

“I know how to love, that makes me human…you’re just an animal. A common cow, stuck in the pasture, waiting for the slaughter without a single fence holding you in place.” She said coldly, without the slightest bit of remorse. “Remember that the next time you crawl into bed and stroke yourself because you don’t have a willing warm body next to you to sink inside.”

Her words faded as she made her way to the top step and Angel couldn’t think of a single way to deny what she had told him. Confused yet still angry, he walked over to the kitchen table and grabbed the cup. Flinging it against the wall, the cheap china shattered it a loud crash, sending chunks of porcelain to the floor and dark, nearly black blood onto everything within a two foot radius.

She heard the sound but not once did she hesitate as she made her way back to the office. To her surprise Faith was sitting there nervously waiting for her. Her small hand twisting around each other like writhing snakes and even though she was seated, her feet were not still.

Seeing Buffy, Faith got to her feet and walked over to her. “Did everything go alright down there?”

“Couldn’t have gone better,” Buffy lied with a deceptively genuine smile. “Lets go get my stuff and go home.”
“I thought we we’re going to stay the night?” Faith asked skeptically following her over to the door.

“Why should we stay where we are if we have someone waiting for us there?” Buffy said pulling out the keys and praying with all of her heart that it was true. ‘Please let Spike be waiting for me…don’t let this all be just another lie…a doomed hope crushed by the reality of a dark brunette with narrowed eyes and a soft girlish voice. Please don’t let it be true that he loves her,’ Buffy silently whispered to whoever might be listening.

27

***Shameless Website plug:) I have a new slayer fan fiction site which welcomes every type of BTVS/Angel fiction and since it is a private group for 18+ only, send me an email for an invite! There are great stories to read, fun challenges to compete in and even readers can select their favorites for some awards! Okay now on to the story ***



“I am trying to tell you that something happened there!” Spike screamed at the others. For nearly three hours, since he had felt his connection to Buffy break, he had been trying to convince these people who claimed to deal in all things demonic and mystical that something that was both had told him something was wrong. His brain was screaming at him that his beautiful angel was dead while his heart was telling him that love couldn’t be conquered so easily. With all of his being he wanted to believe that, but he couldn’t with fear pumping through his veins instead of blood. “I can’t feel her, so can you at the very least call Angel and see if they bloody well made it there at all? Maybe you’ll listen to him and then we can finally find out what in the hell is going on!”

He noticed that everyone was staring at him, with nearly identical looks of ‘we-told-you-so’ on their faces but since they were also looking back at something just over his left shoulder, he turned around to see what in the bloody hell was so amusing. The second he saw her, his heart lost all hope and became as dry as dust within his chest. She looked exactly the same as the last time he had seen her except instead of the soft perfume that reminded him of summer while it clung like a whisper on her skin, she smelled of Angel, dank and musky like a deserted cellar. He could also clearly see the newly torn flesh at her neck. It had healed enough for him to know it must have been bad to begin with, but coupled with that familiar scent he suddenly understood why he couldn’t feel her any longer. Once again, Angel had stolen away from him the one thing he loved. “Coming back for you things then, before heading back to LA?”

“It depends,” Buffy said softly, forcing herself to not take a single step closer to him, no matter how badly her body ached to be in his arms. She and Faith had walked in while he had been screaming at the others and she had heard the fear and worry in his voice. Although that had restored her flagging hope she still knew they had miles to go before she could find herself home. “Do you still love Drusilla?”

“What are you talking about?” Spike asked, shrilly certain that he must have heard her wrong.

He sounded so much like Angel, she had to laugh. The two fools who were so very much alike and still somehow managed to hate each other so virulently. She had always known that men were more complicated than Chinese algebra but Spike and Angel took baffling to an entirely different level of incomprehension. “Crazy bitch with a fondness for dolls and mayhem? You spent a century and some with her so surely you remember her name?”

“Whatever Angel told you, Dru and I have been over for awhile pet. She always wanted Angelus more and I got tired of being her stand in.”

“Is that what I am, your stand in for her. I saw you both through Angel’s and Angelus’s memories when I drank his blood and until that moment I thought…” Unable to say the words, with everyone watching her with rapt yet puzzled attention she trailed off and lowered her eyes to the floor.

“You thought what luv?” Spike asked, taking the first step forward. He knew what she was talking about but nothing he had ever experienced when he had shared blood with Dru, had been like what she was talking about. From the way it sounded she had, had Angelus’s mental home videos broadcasted into her mind. Since he had lived it himself, he could understand why she may have been persuaded into Angel’s embrace. He could forgive her anything and since it had been his fault for not telling her himself, whatever happened between her and Angel would be his price for having been such a blasted fool, he told himself bitterly. He had known before she ever left that Angel would do whatever it took to claim her as his own and if Angel was strong enough to break the claim out of spite then certainly his love would be strong enough to do the same…or so he hoped. All that mattered was that she had returned to him, seeking his side of the story and he was going to do whatever it took to convince her that this was where she belonged…here with him.

“I didn’t exactly come to your bed a virgin but I never loved anyone before you and I thought…it was the same for you.” Buffy said quickly, forcing the words out before she lost her nerve.

Unable to stand it any longer, he walked over to her and lifted her eyes up to his. “I loved Dru but even after a century with her, what we had doesn’t even begin to compare to what I feel when I am with you Buffy. There is no one but you and I can prove it to you.” He raised his wrist up to her lips, never taking his eyes off of hers. “Drink me.”

It had been bad enough seeing it through Angel’s eyes, feeling the way he had felt but after what she had told Angel before she left, she couldn’t refuse just because it could hurt her. What she would see could either save her or damn her. Either way she would be free from being tapped in the middle, unable to go forward or back. But if she was going to risk being sent straight to hell she wanted to feel his cold arms wrapped around her, before the flames reached out to lick her skin. Ignoring his wrist, she stroked her hand down her face, memorizing the feel of the lines beneath her fingertips and trailed her hand down to the place where his shoulders met neck. He was wearing his jacket and a simple black t-shirt but there was an exposed piece of skin, pale as the moonlight against a sky of black.

Understanding her intentions, he arched his neck and she closed the distance between them. His arms circled around her, bringing them even closer until nothing but the clothes they wore separated them. Opening her mouth wide, she felt her fangs slowly lengthen as if her demon wasn’t entirely sure that this was the brightest idea and wanted to give her plenty of time to change her mind.

“What’s going on?” Xander asked. He was beyond confused but since everyone in the room had shushed him immediately he figured now was not the question and answer portion of the evening. Not everyone had told him to hush, he amended looking back at the vampiric couple. They were lost to each other, as if they were alone in the room and as much as he loathed Spike he knew what the guy was going through…he was afraid.

It was the same secret fears that he held about his future with Anya…would he ever be good enough for her or where they just doomed. They had broken up and gotten back together because they loved each other to much to stay away but the questions still remained…would he grow up to be a man like his father, would he treat the woman he loved with the same cruel disinterest and scorn because his one true love resided in the bottom of a bottle? Unanswered question, were woven into ever facet of his life with Anya, the answers alone could tell him if they even had a future. So the part of him that loved beyond reason understood that was what Spike and Buffy were doing now even if the rest of his mind didn‘t understand what he was seeing.

They were about to have all of those dark questions brought into the light and as liberating as that sounded some part of him understood that some things were only more damaging, more terrifying when the were brought out of the darkness. Because once they were brought out of the shadows, the fear would either fade or it would become all to real and once you knew the truth, it could never be hidden away in the shadows again or forgotten.

Silently Xander watched her fangs slid into Spike’s skin with a soft pop like that of a needle pressed into flesh and he wondered if the couple poised on the precipice of the unknown would lose each other in the shadows of the past or find the light needed to guide them into their future. Afraid to breathe and shatter the poignancy of the moment he was witnessing, he forgot that rules of time. Each minute that passed seemed as long as an hour. The day passed before him, though the moon never surrendered to the sun outside and the stars did not fade but an eternity had still passed in this room nevertheless.

Buffy’s body, trembled and her chest heaved as her mind bore the constant images pushing inside her mind at the speed of a freight train. She forced herself to endure the vicious onslaught and the moment she had seen enough to have her answer she pulled away as if touching him burned her skin, though her clothes were unscathed. Fisting her hands in her hair, she let out a single piercing scream as she tightly shut her eyes and tried to will the images out of her mind. But even with her eyes shut she could feel Spike’s hand reaching towards her. “Don’t touch me,” she snapped taking another step away.

She heard him hiss, as if she had stuck him and that was enough to buy her a moment alone in her own mind. Opening her eyes, she tried to let him see all the love she still held for him in her heart but before she could say all the words pouring out of her heart she felt a deep brown spread across her irises, like her grass green eyes had been dug up to reveal the rich dark earth below. “My dear sweet William.”

The sound of Drusilla’s voice slipping out from between Buffy’s full pouty lips was like the final stake to Spike’s already battered heart. Now her last words to him finally made since, he realized forcing himself not to step away. Dru had always been able to see things that others could not and when she had said he was covered in the slayer, he had thought it was because of the truce he had made with Faith to save her from Angelus. With her betrayal scoring his heart, he had forgotten that Dru also saw the future, something that he remembered the second her poisoned voice had slipped from Buffy’s honeyed lips. Buffy was the slayer Dru had known he would lose himself to and now he needed to know if he had lost her. “Buffy…are you in there sweetheart? Can you hear me?”

28

***This is a long chapter but I figured you all we're tired of being kept in the dark about what was going on, so I hope this answers most of your questions.***




“I’m still me,” Buffy said still sounding like Drusilla but her own tone of voice was slowly returning. “I somehow managed to tune in her for a moment and let me tell you her mind is a lot like a amusement park…without the fun.”

“What are you saying Buffy, that you somehow managed to link minds with Drusilla?” Giles asked, finding the entire matter fascinating. No one seemed to be in any danger and since the new Watcher was coming, he might as well learn as much as he could before then.

Link…that made sense Buffy, thought to herself, and now that it was no longer a shock, she was quickly adapting to this gift. Focusing for a moment, she searched for a different station…one a little less crazy and a little more explainy. “The Master could do this as well. He mentally traveled down the bloodline and used it to discover the location of his people. But he couldn’t see inside their mind unless he fed on them and he’s a little ticked that I can.”

“I’m sorry but, am I the only one who doesn’t get this?” Xander asked raising his hand. “I mean The Master’s dust, so how can he be talking to you.”

“I’m a vampire and I don’t understand it, so I don’t have any hope for the lot of you.” Spike said watching Buffy’s eyes return to their normal green.

“You don’t understand because that bastard Angelus didn’t feel the need to share with his family.” Buffy said reaching out to take his hand. She felt his fingers twine around hers and she sighed in contentment. “The Master, whose name is Heinrich by the way, shared this knowledge with Darla and Angelus because they were his favorite children. They couldn’t use it like me but they could use it to recognize other members of the Order. They didn’t share it with Drusilla because well, she was insane, and they didn’t tell you because it was just one way for Angelus to make you feel lesser than him.”

Since her voice was filled with outrage on his behalf, he had to smile at her. “That’s not much of a surprise luv but how come you can do it?”

“Not just anyone can become the head of a bloodline, you have to have to have enough power to take the lead. See the head of the bloodline is like the queen bee, all the other bees go out to gather the pollen, or in this case making new vamps but with each new person you bring in the connection gets weaker. The stronger vamps like Spike and Angelus rise up the bloodline as they gather power.” Buffy explained, leaving out one very important detail since she wasn’t exactly sure how Spike would take it.

“Why do they need to rise up the bloodline?” Willow asked, almost as curious as Giles.

Damn, why did they all have to be so smart, Buffy thought grumpily, casting an apprehensive glance at Spike.

“Whatever it is pet, you might as well say it.” Spike told her. She looked like a doe caught in the headlights and he had a pretty good idea of what she was going to say. Angel had become the head of their bloodline and that was why he had been able to break the claim, Spike thought disgustedly, not sure which was worse.

“There are only so many bloodlines, it’s kind of natures way to find the balance. If left unchecked vampires could theoretically turn every single human into a demon, which would mean they would have to resort to feeding on animals. Well since vamps have long life spans, given enough time they would exhaust the food supply. Game over, everyone looses.”

“Checks and balances,” Giles said catching on quickly. “To stop that from happening, only the strongest vampires can survive.”

“Now see just when I think I am beginning to understand, you lost me again.” Xander said swiping his hand about two inches over his head. “Wouldn’t strong vampires be a bad thing?”

“No you git, the strong vampires keep the lesser ones in line. Every system, has to have someone in charge of order. The slayers may take out the lesser vamps and a few powerful ones but mostly we take care of our own problems. You don’t survive for centuries largely unnoticed by your kind if every single vamp in this world went rampaging nightly.” Spike told him with a snort. “Back in the old days it was easy to earn a reputation, like mine. You could massacre an entire village but you could move one province over and no one would know a thing about it. But today if Los Angeles suddenly became overrun with vamps, it would hit the news and people would know about it an ocean away. We’d go from being a myth to being hunted overnight. We may have you beat when it comes to speed and strength but you can come into our lairs during the day without an invite and we can‘t escape. Then it becomes a numbers game and the simple truth is you have more.”

“That didn’t seem to be a problem the hundred times you tried to take over Sunnydale.” Faith told him, with a roll of her eyes while she made herself comfortable on Riley‘s lap.

“Well Sunnydale isn’t exactly like other places, now is it?” He shot back arrogantly. “Unlike most small towns you all don’t get upset when you read the obituaries or someone comes up missing. It’s something everyone knows happens but never talk about it. Sure the paper is full of neat explanations but people have eyes and brains. They chose to believe the lies instead of facing the truth and that makes this town safe for our kind and all the other assorted nasties hanging about.”

“That makes sense but it still doesn’t explain why vampires can rise up the bloodline?” Willow asked, bringing the point back to the question she had asked.

“Even though The Master is dead a part of him lives on in the blood of his children and their children. Just like a part of the one who was the head of the bloodline before him, still lives on. The best way to explain it is to have you think of the entire bloodline as a tapestry. Each thread is a different vampire and the brighter colors are the ones with the most power. Threads are pulling pulled out and added all the time, so there has to be one person who weaves them all together and keeps it from unraveling over the years. That is where the head of the bloodline comes in. The one with enough power and will rises to the top. So when you killed The Master you left a vacancy and now there is a new head of the bloodline…me.” Buffy said softly, unsure of how the others would react.

“But you can’t be, I mean you’re a new vampire.” Xander sputtered out. That just wasn’t fair, first she got to be a slayer then she gets picked to be the head of an entire vampire clan, some people have all the luck, he thought mutinously. “I mean your haven’t even sired anyone yet…have you?”

“It’s not like human ancestry, there isn’t a single pair that passes their blood down through the centuries. But vampires still get the blood of all the ones before them when they drink the blood of their sire, making us a family of sorts.” Buffy explained, more than a little worried about the look on Spike’s face. “You and Angel are equals in power at the very top of the line, but as long as you both are alive neither one of you could claim the top spot. But if one of you died, the survivor wouldn’t have enough power to move up. See the blood relates us all but every family tree has branches. Some die out while others thrive. You, Angel, Darla and Drusilla were all powerful in your own right and so that means anyone sired by you would have more power than another vampire on another branch. But more than that, the more power you both gather in your lives, the stronger your blood connection becomes. See the division of power starts at the top and then filters down to all the vampires beneath you. With The Master and Darla gone you three that remained at the top should have been sharing power equally, but since Drusilla has been claimed by Angel, she is closed off from your power directly. See that is what claims were meant to be, your right to another’s power. Since she has no right to your power, you’ve been giving it to Angel alone. But the blade cuts both ways, you don’t belong to him either so he has been sharing his power with you and even some that he takes from her. Now if he wasn’t such a bastard he could share it with her, but he’s greedily so he is taking but not returning the favor.”

“So that’s why Angel broke my claim on you, he thought he could become the head of the bloodline, eh?” Spike asked coldly, hating the fact that he was giving Angel anything, even against his will.

“Angel didn’t break the claim I did.” Buffy said bringing their joined hands up to lay them over her un-beating heart. “He may say he’s Angel but Angelus is still there beneath the surface and he hates you as much as you hate him. When he came downstairs to talk he was just Angel and he even offered me his blood to take the edge off of my hunger. He explained about how sharing blood works, being all superior and when he tried to make a move on me, I showed him your mark and said I was off limits.”

She broke off for a moment and rolled her eyes. “Then he was Angelus or as much as he could be with a soul. Out of nowhere he pounced and bit me and since I was starving to begin with, I bit him back. When I drank from him, I saw the way they both used you through his eyes and it made me angry. I could feel him in my mind and I wasn’t about to let him use that to hurt you. So I let you go so to keep you safe.”

Quickly she explained what had happened next and to her surprise Spike laughed. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he placed a light kiss on her cheek. The weight that had been sitting on his shoulders since he had felt the claim snap was lifted and as hard as it was to believe, she had actually chosen him. Angel had even tried to force her into accepting him and she had kicked his ass and came home…to him. He felt like an idiot for ever doubting her and he silently vowed that it would never happen again. “I bet he was livid when you told him that it was his bite that made you the head of our sodden bloodline.”

“I didn’t tell him, besides it wasn’t his bite that did it.” Buffy said giving him a pointed look. “I don’t think that you to hate each other as much as you think you do, I think its your demons struggling for dominance. I mean it’s obvious that you hate Xander but you’re not about to try to steal Anya away just for spite. See since he’s had a soul he has been slipping in power and it was only his connection with Dru that was keeping him tied with you. Then you went and sired me taking the lead.”

“Not that I mind you being the boss luv, but if that was the truth why didn’t I take the top spot?”

“If you had given me your blood before I left, you would have. The only reason I was able to break the claim was because you hadn’t finished the ritual. When I drank from him, it finished the ritual but since it wasn’t his marks, all he managed to do was link us all together giving me access to both of your powers and hers. Then when I drank from you, it pushed the power level even higher giving me enough to gain control of the bloodline even though I am only technically half vampire. It helps that the other half is slayer or else Dru could have very well become the head of the bloodline, which wouldn’t exactly be a good thing.” Buffy said snuggling against Spike.

“Why didn’t she,” Willow asked unable to drop the subject until she understood it all. When it came to learning something new, she was like a dog with a bone.

“Angel never finished claiming her and if he had, she would be out of the running entirely. You can’t exactly be in control of the bloodline if your power is going to someone else. If she would have broken the claim then her power would be her own, weakening Angel, therefore weakening Spike and giving her the advantage. But since now that I have the job, she will just have to wait until it opens back up and I don‘t plan on being dusted anytime soon, she‘s in for a long wait.”

Spike noticed her absently rubbing her temple and turned her to face him. “Are you alright pet?” He asked searching her face and eyes for any sign of pain.

“My mind is full of stuff right now and it’s a little headachey. Don’t worry though, I’m not about to be possessed by your ex again. The power caught me off guard but I’m a really fast learner and control is something I have always been pretty good at.” She searched his face for a moment, much like he had just done to hers. She could tap into his mind to see what he was thinking, or she thought she could, but that just didn’t feel right. When Dru had entered her mind, it was something very close to being raped and even though she couldn’t possess him the same way, she would still be taking his private thoughts against his will. “Are you okay with all this?”

“I love you Buffy and as long as its not hurting you, then I am okay with it.” He said honestly, seconds before laying a light kiss on her lips. He had known Buffy was special so this didn’t change a single thing for him. What he didn’t say was that he didn’t care who was in charge of their bloodline, just as long as it wasn’t Angel. It was even sweeter knowing that he had played a part in denying him that kind of power. Buffy could think what she liked, but it wasn’t just him and Angel’s demons that hated each other, it was the men as well.

“What about you all?” Buffy asked turning to look at the others.

“It’s a weapon Buffy and this development only helps us fight the good fight.” Giles said thinking of all the battle applications. “You will have to learn how to use your new powers and how to calm your mind with focusing techniques to stop the headaches that I am certain will come, but we are here to help you in anyway that we can. You may be part demon but you are still part slayer and that makes you one of us.”

Faith was a little ticked that Buffy had lied to her about what had happened with Angel but since Riley was running his hand up and down her back suggestively, it was really hard to hold onto her anger, so she let it go…for now

She and the others talked for about another hour before Spike realizing that she had had enough, picked her up and carried her out of the door without so much as a goodbye. She had thought about protesting but being pressed up against his hard firm chest was hardly something to bitch about. Instead she closed her eyes and though about all the ways they could re-establish their connection with one another and each scenario ended with them being naked or sweaty or exhausted but mostly all three at the same time. Unfortunately for her, she skipped straight past the fun naked part and went straight to the exhausted. It had been a long day after all and being gently rocked as they made their way home was enough to send her into a deep sleep.

Now she was sweaty, not from passion but because of the nightmare that had gripped her mind and danced it’s way across her skin. Sitting up she was surprised to see that she was back in her motel room but she wasn’t surprised to feel Spike’s deliciously cool body pressed up against hers. “Everythin’ ok pet.” He murmured still mostly asleep.

“It was just a nightmare,” she said snuggling down beside him, wrapping her body around his, like ivy on a vine.

Concerned he forced his eyes open and brushed her hair back off of her face. “Not surprising, considering that you are now connected to a bunch of vampires.”

“Yeah,” she said, having no desire to tell him this particular nightmare had visited her, way before she had become a vampire. “Why are we here, I thought I was moving in with you?” She asked hoping to keep him from asking anymore questions about her dreams. The real lives of thousands of vampires was nothing compared to her nightmares.

“The crypt is fine for me but it is missing a few amenities that you might miss.”

“Such as,” She asked propping herself up on one elbow so she could look at his face.

“Such as a shower. I’ve got power, but not running water. I‘ve got a place to go but I don‘t think you’d fancy a thirty minute hike through the sewers for a shower, only to have to walk back again.”

“I’m sunlight tolerant remember, but you still have a good point.” Buffy said looking around the cheap motel room. “I’d never thought I’d say this but I kind of wish the Watcher would show up, cuz that would mean I was getting paid and we could move. Hey do you think I should ask for a raise?”

Instead of replying, he guided her hand down between their bodies. He hadn’t wanted to disturb her by undressing her before laying her under the covers but he never wore anything when he slept...for this very reason. “Is that what you had in mind luv?”

She had just wrapped her fingers around his rigid cock, when there was a loud knock at the door. Thinking that whoever was there, would get the idea and leave, she continued stroking him.

“Miss Winters, I know it is late but it is imperative that I speak with you.” Came a deep British voice coated with more than a hint of impatience.

“Be careful what you wish for, eh luv?” Spike said pulling away to grab his clothes.

“I promise to only use this power for good,” She riffed, getting up to cross over to the door. “Or the very naughty,” she promised with a wicked grin before opening up the door to get her first look at her Watcher.

She had been expecting someone like Giles and this man was like his sexier, edgier and much younger brother and to make matters worse…he was one of her past clients. “Small world.”

“It is indeed,” Wes said almost as surprised as she was. “You’re my slayer?”

“You’re my Watcher?” Buffy shot back placing her hand on her hip.
“My father assured me that was the right position for me.” He said giving her a dark smile, reaching up to unloosen his tie. “Remind me to send him a nice decanter of twenty-year old scotch.”

“Some things never change,” Buffy said knowing all about Roger Wyndham-Pryce’s domineering nature but she opened the door to reveal a now fully dressed Spike. “And some do.”

“Not a client I take it?” Wes asked, unable to completely mask the disappointment in his voice.

“Nope and he’s not even human but then again neither am I.” Buffy said stepping back to let him inside.

“Being called as The slayer doesn’t make you any less human.” Wes informed her, sending a cocky nod at the man glaring at him from across the room.

“Maybe not but being a vampire sure as hell does.” Buffy said walking over to make herself comfortable on the bed. “Take a seat and let me bring you up to speed.”

While she talked Wes could see all the subtle changes in her but he knew that not even the extraordinary changes that had occurred in her life could change her entirely. They were kindred spirits in a way, both determined to swim against the current and even though she was amazingly skilled in the bedroom he had never felt anything more for her than friendship. Which was why he wasn’t overly upset about all the things she was telling him or the bleached blonde sending dark glares his way.

They had met, two years ago when he had been on a hunt in LA. He had been working freelance then, desperate to break away from the Watcher’s council and his father’s iron rule. He had completed the job and with his pockets lined with his extortionate fee he had planned on taking in a little of the nightlife before heading onto the next job. His idea of nightlife was roughly composed of strip clubs and bars and he had found himself in a little hole in the wall club, aptly named ‘Pandora’s Boxxx’. After five minutes he had not been impressed and had just about to leave when Buffy had stepped onto the 4x4 area that served as the stage. She had been calling herself Candy then and after watching her writhe on the stage for three minutes he knew she was too sweet to resist. Before the song had ended, he had slipped the manager a hundred dollar bill hoping to secure her for a lap dance and the man had been so grateful, he had confessed that the same amount would buy her company for a couple of hours in a much more private setting.

Since he wasn’t in the habit of paying for sex, he had decided to try his charm when she had taken him into the private area for their dance. It hadn’t worked and when she was sliding across his cock, she had made it perfectly clear that money would be the only way to get the whole show. After spending more years than he cared to recall being nothing more than a milksop crushed beneath his father’s heel he had instantly respected her attitude and bought her services for the entire night and most of the next morning. As a lover she had been insatiable and giving and to his surprise she was also as talented when it came to listening to his problems.

During that year he found himself taking more and more jobs in LA and every time he was in town he always found her. After a while they did more talking than fucking and an easy and inconstant friendship had developed between then. Atleast until he offered to help her off of the streets and then she had just simply disappeared. He had tried to find her, but all he had was the name Candy and that was a fairly common alias in her profession. After awhile he had given up knowing that since she had his number, she would call if she needed him.

Instead of hearing from her, he had gotten a call from his father asking him to return to the Council. He had accepted because even though he didn’t know her real name, he was certain the stories she had told about her life was the truth. After hearing about all of the things she had been forced to go through alone, it had rekindled his desire to help others. More often than not, the Council sent him on the jobs to unseemly for their more priggish employees. So since they had last met, he had spent a lot of time dealing with the mystical and often seedy underbelly of this dimension. But despite all of the changes to his own character he had kept his brain filled with the books he had always enjoyed reading. His slacks and blazers were more urbane than classic but at his heart, he was just another bookworm who preferred thoughtful study to smoky pool halls and clubs full of scantily clad women. The job with the Council had encompassed all of interests.

When the call had come about the new Slayer, Wes had instantly expected it to go to one of the pompous, staid and arrogant clones of his father that made up 99.9 percent of the staff. To his surprise the Council had looked at the impure remaining one-percent and since that was just him, he was offered the position of dealing with the unsavory new slayer Buffy Winters. “I should have known it was you.”

“What?” Buffy asked wondering if Wes had heard a single thing she had said.

“Travers called you a hell-cat and while he was giving me a brief rundown of your life he had to stop twice to calm his temper. You’re the only person I‘ve ever seen get under Travers skin and that alone should have been enough to tip me off. If a single woman alive or in your case dead, could make him hot under the collar, I should have known it would be you, Candy.”

“Her name is Buffy, mate.” Spike told him coldly.

“I know,” Wes told him smugly, pulling off his glasses. “But you have to admit the name Candy suits her…mate.”

30
“Wes play nice.” Buffy warned him, unable to be angry since it had been such a long time she had last seen him. “He’s picks at everyone Spike, it’s just his thing.”

“Quite right luv,” Wes said with a wink, hoping to set the brash fellow off. “It’s nothing personal, I’m just an ass by nature.”

“It must be because you the son of a complete bastard.” Buffy said biting back a snicker at the tight set of Spike’s jaw. If he didn’t let up, he was going to chip a tooth.

“It just one thing we have in common,” Wes told her, with a roguish smile. “Well that and the fact that we both like it when I lick your…”

Before he could finish that sentence, Spike had pounced. Since he had been waiting for that to happen, Wes already had the stake resting in his palm, concealed by his jacket sleeve. Before Spike had even landed the first punch he had it pressed against his heart. “I was wondering how much longer you would hold back.”

“He’s testing you Spike but mostly it’s just because he’s a jerk.” Buffy said getting up to stand between the two men. “But Spike…umm…shouldn’t your chip have gone… zzzzz?”

Since it hadn’t, that was enough to tame his temper…somewhat. He thought about it for a moment and deciding that that bastard had it coming, he punched him square in the face. Nothing happened…but since it had been so much fun he decided to do it again.

Reading his face more than his mind, Buffy reached up and caught his fist, scant inches away from Wes’s face. “Are you a demon by any chance Wes?”

“Not that I know of, why?” Wes asked, rubbing his already aching jaw.

Quickly Buffy explained about the chip and waited for her Watcher to lay down his opinion.

“Perhaps the bleach he uses has seeped into his brain?” Wes said, sounding as innocent as an alter boy.

“Hey I like his hair and It’s way better than that crispy over-styled mop you call hair.” Buffy said, falling back in the rhythm of being in Wes’s presence. Since now seemed as good as time as any, she tried to link her mind with Spike’s. “Can you hear me?”

He looked at her and nodded, almost imperceptibly.

“The trick to dealing with Wes is to dish back and not take it personally. He’s alright when it comes to the fighting but he could teach Angelus lessons when it comes to word play. Beat him at his own game and then he will respect you enough to lay off.” She explained mentally.

“And I want to do that because?” Spike asked her silently.

“Because he’s not a bad guy and secondly he is our link to the Council. He can make things hard for us, so it pays to keep him as our friend.”

“Just how friendly are you planning on being, luv?” Spike thought, arching his eyebrow.

Instead of answering, she pinched his arm and looked at Wes expectantly. “Please tell my boyfriend that you aren’t in love with me.”

“Maybe I am.” Wes said back, just to see Spike seethe.

“Wesley.” Buffy said coldly, putting a world of warning in that single word.

“Oh all right, I am not nor have I ever been in love with Buffy.” Wes relented seconds before being himself again. “I’ve shagged her six ways from Sunday on numerous occasions but since I paid for the privilege, I wanted to get my money’s worth. But that is just because I am practical.”

“Funny thing mate, I’ve never had to pay.” Spike said remembering Buffy’s words. “I guess she must like me better.”

“Ohhh, I like him.” Wes said looking at Spike like he was wondering how he might taste.

“I’m not sharing Wes.” Buffy warned him coldly. “Mine.”

“Well if you ever want a third, give me a ring.” Wes said casting another apprising look down Spike’s body and then Buffy‘s. “God aren’t you two such a tasty pair.”

“You’re gay?” Spike asked unable to believe that the Watcher’s Council had such a liberal hiring policy. Up till two seconds ago he was certain that Wes had a thing for Buffy but he had seen the heat in his eyes when he had looked at him and now he wasn’t certain of anything. He had thought Faith had some downright puzzling friends but Buffy’s only one, had them all beat hands down.

“In the right circumstances, but mostly I just take whatever tickles my fancy or catches my cock’s attention.” Wes said good naturedly. “Why else do you think I provoked you so? Like Buffy said, I was taking you for a test drive.”

“That is not what I said Wes, but I did tell you to play nice. Spike’s not used to you yet and you have to admit you take a lot of getting used to.” Buffy told him with a smile, not sure if Spike was offended or just completely stunned by Wes’s brash proposal.

“Just tell me how nice you want me to be and he can get used to me all he wants.” Wes shot back, flicking his tongue across his bottom lip. He was attracted to Spike, almost as much as he was attracted to Buffy and the idea of having both of their tight bodies wrapped around him was too tempting to resist.

Since Spike seemed completely incapable of speech, Buffy tried to steer the conversation back on track. “You’re a Watcher…”

“I don’t mind watching anything the two of you want me to see.” Wes said refusing to be distracted until he had some sort of answer.
“No watching, no sharing, no anything.” Buffy said firmly, poking her finger into Wes’s chest for effect.

“Very well then,” Wes said releasing a deep sigh. “Then I suggest we try to discover if Spike’s chip has been disabled in some way or if as you suggested I am less than human. Which considering who my father is, that wouldn’t be the biggest shock of my life. So I recommend we meet with Rupert Giles and his slayer and see if they are willing to assist us with the research until my own library arrives.”

“Oh that will be fun,” Buffy said rolling her eyes.

“From what Quentin told me, I assumed that you all were working together quite amicably. Did they not accept your new status?”

“I’m not the problem, you are.” Buffy told him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “They are small town people and big city, freaky/kinky Watcher’s are not part of the landscape. Poor Giles would die of shock and even though a pair of lesbians are accepted into their group, your style is a bit more flamboyant than I think they can handle. So please, just pretend that you are the nice, normal, boring Watcher, they are expecting.”

“As you wish but it is just after 8 am and since we have hours until the sun goes down, you two could help me exhaust my less acceptable traits.”

“Sorry but I am a vampire that is sunlight friendly and knowing you, you have a big van parked out there loaded full of fun demon killing necessities that you always tried to make me believe we’re for torturing human’s in your less than reputable line of work as an enforcer. A van that would be perfect for keeping MY boyfriend from being burned to a crisp.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that you were a slayer, even if you didn‘t know what your power was called?” Wes asked getting serious. Ever since he had saw her, he had wanted to ask and since she had more or less brought it up, he couldn’t think of a better time.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were a rogue demon hunter?”

“I didn’t think you would believe me.” Wes admitted with a shrug. “I just assumed that you would think it was nothing more than a clever ploy to get into your oh-so-tight pants.”

“Same here, except for the whole pants part.” Buffy told him with a grin. “But if you had asked, I would have atleast told you the truth but I can understand why you didn’t tell me.”

“Of course you do Peaches, you’re entirely to good of a person to do otherwise. And from what I have seen so far, that atleast has remained unchanged.” When she stepped forward and gave him an easy hug, he enjoyed it in the manner it was intended…an act of friendship. But since he was forcing himself not to trail his hands down to cup her ass, he had to make due with a bit of vocal teasing. “That and your remarkable taste in men. Is he has hot naked as he is with his clothes on, because one can never really tell without further examination.”

Since having an old face from LA made it feel like her worlds were merging into one real home, she leaned into his ear to whisper nearly silently, knowing exactly how good vampire hearing was. “I’ve missed you Wes…and he looks even better naked.”

While Wes struggled to visualize that gem of information Buffy walked over to the phone to arrange for a Scooby meeting.

fic of the week!!****

***This is the general release of this story,, the alternate version which contains male/male and other forms of sexual exploration by the characters is only available at my site. Since it is a plus 18+ private group only, anyone interested in joining, needs to send me their email address! ***


“Scoobies meet my Watcher Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Wesley these are the Scoobies.” Buffy said handling the introductions. Buffy waited until they had all offered their names and exchanged pleasantries but not sure if Wes could play normal for an indefinite amount of time, she tried to speed things along. “We think Spike’s chip is broken.”

Not needing to ask how that had happened, Faith walked over to stand beside Spike. “Hit me and let see what happens.”

Obliging her, he threw a punch at her midsection and nothing happened. Confused he turned towards the kitchen where Riley was busy getting drinks. “Does the chip have a sodden expiration date?”

“Not that I know of but if anyone knew, it would have been Professor Walsh.” Riley said sadly, still in mourning for the woman he still tried to believe that she had been.

“Or Adam.” Buffy said bringing all the eyes in the room onto her. “He has access to the whole Initiative mainframe and sooner or later we are going to kill him right…so what’s the harm in asking a few questions first?”

“Why not just send Spike in and have him ask his old friend?” Xander muttered under his breath.

Thanks to her vampire hearing Buffy had heard every word. “Since we have no idea if this is just a glitch or the chip has outlived it’s usefulness we can’t send Spike back to him, for any reason. If Adam finds out the chip is broken, he’s gonna know that Spike betrayed him and he would be alone in there. Since you all haven’t been able to take him out, he wouldn’t have a chance.”

“On the ride over here Buffy and Spike explained the situation you are in and I might know a spell that might be of use.” Wesley said, placing his hands behind his back as he addressed them, doing his level best to appear completely normal.

“What did you have in mind Mr. Wyndham-Pryce?” Giles asked archly, surprised at the gall of the young man. He had been in town less than a day and he already believed he had all the answers. That kind of supreme arrogance was so typical of the Council, Giles thought bitterly.

“You all may call me Wesley, there is no need for formality since we are all going to be working together.” Wes said giving them a slight nod. “I was thinking that the Ritual of Enjoining would be the best way to deal with this creature that seems to be all but indestructible.”

“And you just mentioning this now because?” Buffy asked him snidely, never being one for surprises.

“Now Buffy, I understand you might be upset but I felt it would be better to wait until we we’re all assembled. We are all doing what we must to fit in and work together amicably and your temper and remarks are not helping.” Wes warned her, bored already at the charade she had convinced him to participate in, so he was anxious for any excuse to end it. He had to admit that her observation about their characters had been spot on and he was certain of that, even though he had known them for less than five minutes. They were all so wholesome that they should be the poster children for clean and moral living. On the surface it was easy to believe that they had no way to relate to someone like himself but since they had obviously embraced Buffy, who was as bent as he was, he had no doubt that they would adjust to him as well.

“Sorry Wes, please continue.” Buffy said, refusing to give him a reason to be himself. It nicked her pride somewhat but their group dynamic was very important to them and since she had already been a nasty shock, she was willing to bend a little.

Wes was pleased at the others reaction to her apology but since she had more or less told him to play along, he would abide by her wishes…for now. “It takes the abilities of several individuals and bestows them onto a single person for a short while. From what Buffy has told me about you, we have a rather talented group of individuals to select from, not to mention two slayers. It should be enough to defeat Adam.”

“No.” Buffy told him coldly before anyone else could respond.

“What?” Wes asked rapidly losing his patience.

“I’m not saying no to the plan entirely, just my part in it. I’ve already proved to be a wild card when it comes to things like this and I’m not about to accidentally turn Faith into a demon.” Buffy told him walking over to stand in front of him.

“Then we will perform the spell on you, making her safe from any lingering side effects.” Wes told her archly, unraveling his act more and more with each passing second.

“This isn’t my fight, it’s theirs. They’ve lost people to Adam and they have earned the right to a little justice. The others may just look like a bunch of kids to you but they are stronger than you give them credit for. They can do this with out me.”

“Now you’re just being stupid. It is a fight Buffy, not a vendetta and you’ll do as I tell you!” Wes shot back crossly.

“That may have worked before pal but I’m not your whore anymore, so I’m not about to follow your orders.” Buffy told him, forgetting that she didn’t want the others to know about her and Wes’s past dealings.

“Actually you’re still getting paid and since I represent your employer you’ll bloody well do what I say. Face it Buffy, you’re still Candy getting paid to dance and this battle is just a different stage.”

She slapped him hard, across the face, but as angry as she was she had been careful about how much strength she had put behind the blow. She had no intention of doing the same with her words, even though she knew they would hurt more. “What about you Wes? For as long as I have known you, you’ve sworn to never give into your father again. You said you would live you’re life anyway you damn well pleased and now a few years later you’re right back on the path he sat you on. I lived my life the way I did for the money it would bring in. While you have lived you life because you’re afraid to stand up to him for any period of time.”

He grabbed her by the front of her shirt and pulled her roughly into his arms, placing a hard kiss on her mouth. Satisfied that he had made his point, he shoved her away. “God you’re intoxicating when you’re pissed off. You are never more beautiful then when your are angry and do you know why? It’s because all of the misery in your life has filled you with an untamed, unquenchable fire to fight back, to strike out. This girl, this slayer doesn’t have that and if you want to kill the un-killable you need that fire screaming inside you to conquer, to consume, until you alone are standing. That’s why the power chose you and like it or not, fair or not you have to be the one to do this.”

“You fight dirty,” Buffy said understanding what he was trying to tell her.

“You know you love it, beautiful.” He said sending a roguish wink in Spike’s direction. “So are you going to whine on about what is right and what is proper or are you going to shut your yap and kick some ass?”

“What do you think, you arrogant bastard?”

“I think we now have a plan.” He said wrapping a friendly arm around her shoulders, unconsciously licking his lips to gather the last traces of her taste lingering there.

Spike noticed and he sent him a cold glare. “Careful there mate, she’s not the only one in this room that’s libel to bite you in the ass.”

“Anytime you want a taste of any part of me, you just say so. It’ll hurt like hell but what’s the fun of a little pleasure if there isn’t any pain?” Wes told him, sending him a knowing smile. Spike was violence in motion and that was just one of the reasons he was attracted to him. He had no doubt that the feisty vampire that had captured Buffy, understood how to not only ride the thin line between pleasure and pain but also how to share it. But since they had both made it obvious that they weren’t interested in sharing it with him, he figured he might as well take what pleasure he could by teasing them to distraction.



***You might be wondering why the Scoobies are so calm about the chip no longer working. Well that is because they have seen how much Spike loves her and they know that chip or no chip he would be the kind of man that she would want him to be. :) Anyway the new alternate version of this chapter has also been posted on my site and for those of you who missed the last message, it is only available at my site. If your interested in reading that and the other stories collected there send me your email for an invite. It is 18+ only due to content, so the only way in is by invitation only. ****





“Ummm…Wesley is a little weird.” Faith told Buffy while the others worked out the details of the spell.

“That’s putting it mildly, he’s a lot weird.” Buffy shot back.

“I get that but why didn’t you just say that right away, I mean why did you have him act normal?”

“What makes you think he was acting or that I asked him to do it?”

Since it was obvious Buffy wasn’t going to cooperate, Faith looked over her shoulder at Wesley. “Hey why were you acting like Giles the second, when you first got here?”

“Buffy told me not to scare the natives.” Wes admitted casually, giving Buffy a Cheshire cat grin. “I‘m helpless to resist her, but I must admit that I am glad that I can be myself again.”

“I’m going to bite him.” Spike muttered darkly. When Buffy sent him a warning look, he walked over to her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her hard against his chest and trailed his hands down to cup her ass. “Can I kill him…please.”

“What the chip’s broken one day and you’re already back on Crush-Kill-Destroy mode?”

“I don’t want to kill everyone…just him.” Spike said grinding against her softly. “The way I see it pet, the worlds a better place without him, so killing him would be almost noble.”

“Okay, go kill him.” Buffy said loudly, giving Wes a head’s up.

“What?” Spike asked, not really expecting that.

“Go, kill Wes, you have my blessing.” Buffy said seconds before placing a soft kiss on his lips. She knew Wes could take care of himself and if worst came to worst, she was certain that she and Faith could pull them apart before any serious damage was done.

“Don’t tempt me slayer.” Spike warned growling low in his throat.

“Not tempting, not teasing I mean it…go.” She pulled away and went over to sit at the base of Giles’s stairs.

Spike watched her go and then turned back to Wes and then back to Buffy.

Since Spike was clearly uncertain of what to do, Wes sent him an arch look. “Is it to the death then or are you just going to wait for me to die of old age?”

“Bugger, I can’t.” Spike said letting out a deep sigh. “She sucked all the fun out of it by saying it was okay.”

“If you’d like I can fire you up again?” Wes said congenially, more than willing to fight with Spike. It wasn’t just an excuse to put his hand on him either, he just enjoyed a good spat now and again, he lied to himself.

“Would you?” Spike asked brightening a little.

“Certainly, just give me a moment here.” Wes said searching his mind for something suitably inflammatory.

“Uhh, B are you really going to let them do this?” Faith asked, walking over to stand beside her.

“Sure, maybe they’ll kill each other and I can find someone new to annoy me.” Buffy said with a shrug.

Spike and Wes heard her and gave each other a considering look, both trying to figure out if she meant that.

Wes was 99.9% sure that she was joking but that remaining .1% filled him with doubt. “You would miss me if I was gone, wouldn’t you luv?”

“Nope.” Buffy tossed back casually.

“NO?”

“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head just incase he had misunderstood her.

“Why in the hell not, I am completely irreplaceable.” Wes said shrilly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Maybe in England you’re a one of a kind freak but this is California and all the weird people end up here.”

“You would miss me, wouldn’t you luv.” Spike said sending Wes a smug look.

“Yep…but then again if you got yourself killed, I’d be pretty angry.”

“I can’t have my girl angry now can I.” He told Wes apologetically before walking over to sit beside her.

“I can not seriously believe that you would prefer this…this Sid Vicious wanna be over me.” Wes said viciously, no longer amused with her antics.

“You want him just as badly as I do, so that argument is about as bogus as your knockoff designer watch.” Buffy shot back, no longer happy with him either. He was such a fricking Prima Donna sometimes, she thought rolling her eyes. “You just wanted to fight so you could cop a feel or two, so don’t blame me if Spike doesn’t want to play.”

“This is Cartier!” He said holding up his wrist.

“Cartier by way of China maybe. Trust me Wes, I know a fake when I see one.”

Angry now but no longer at her, he ripped the watch off and threw it to the floor. He raised his foot to crush it, promising to pay the retailer a little visit, when Buffy’s laughter rang through the room like a chorus of bright and gay church bells.

“I was only kidding Wes.” Buffy said sincerely, thinking the rouse had gone far enough. How was she supposed to know he would be so dramatic? Well duh, it’s Wes she told herself shaking her head. “It’s real, so unless it’s insured I wouldn’t do that if I was you.”

“You little minx!” Wes said bending down to scoop up his watch. It was scuffed somewhat but since it was nothing a little buffing couldn’t cure, he gave her a brilliant smile. “When this is over remind me never to engage you in a game of cards.” For some reason half of the people in the room began to laugh at his comment and he looked around hoping for an explanation.

Taking pity on him Buffy returned his smile warmly. “The others learned that lesson a bit too late.”

“I see, how much did you take them for?”

“Around three large,” Buffy admitted, feeling only slightly guilty.

“Well done, perhaps we shall have to find a reason to head over to Las Vegas and try you luck there?”

“For god‘s sake man you’re her Watcher and you have exhibited the level of maturity that one would expect from a blueberry scone!” Giles said, having seen more than enough. He was glad that the man wasn’t a regulation Watcher, per se, but since he was responsible for guiding Buffy he had to be well…responsible, Giles decided. “If you wish for your slayer to successfully navigate the trials ahead you must lead by example.”

“Says the Watcher whose Slayer had an illicit liaison with a vampire, causing him to lose his soul and become a vicious killer.” Wes shot back instantly bristling at Giles’s authorial tone. He had enough of that from his bastard father. “Did that occur when you were settling down with a nice cup of tea or did you lead by example by taking a vampiric lover of your very own?”

“How dare you!” Giles said coldly, with more than a hint of Ripper making an appearance in his voice. Getting out of his chair, he walked over to stand in front of Wes. “Not only is that crass and irrelevant but your very own Slayer, a girl that you have had a past sexual relationship with no less, is at this very moment involved romantically with a vampire.”

Wes cleared his throat to stop the laughter that was threatening to spill out and looked over his shoulder at Buffy. “Sir, you might have missed this but she is, in fact a vampire. So it is hardly scandalous that she is engaged in a sexual relationship with another vampire. Now as to my own past sexual relationship with the girl, who need I remind you, was until a few days ago a prostitute, it occurred well before she was under my charge. But under your guidance and authority, she not only died at the hands of a vampire, much like your own Slayer before her, but became a vampire as well. Yet here you stand daring to lecture me on the proper etiquette and interaction between a Watcher and Slayer.”

Since Giles was turning a very brilliant color of plum, Buffy walked over to stand between the two men. “Wesley that is enough.”

“Your Slayer is the one who must council your temper, does something not seem amiss with that scenario?” Giles said crisply.

“You,” Buffy said poking a finger in Giles’s chest. “If the Council would have sent some stuffy prick, I would have sent him back to England crying for his mommy. The Council chose Wesley for a reason and it is because he can relate to me. More than that he is brilliant. Don’t forget that it was him who suggested the Enjoining spell and if you could look past his glaringly obvious flaws you would see that he can be of use here. This place has apocalypses appearing nightly and it can’t hurt to have another bookworm around.”

Before either man could reply or respond, a loud strangled yell erupted behind them. Recognizing the voice time seemed to slow down as Buffy turned back to where she had left Spike.




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Disclaimer: The information contained in this fiction, is for entertainment purposes only. Try it in the real world and the nice officers will escort you to a cell, so don’t blame me.



In a blur of speed borne out of her absolute terror Buffy was at Spike’s side in a moment. His entire body was writhing on the floor as if he was a live wire and she knew that something was wrong with the chip. The moment she touched his skin, she felt how warm it was and knew that if the current keep going he would burn from the inside out. She was new to being a slayer but she had seen enough vampire movies to know that if you take out the heart or brain you get the job done. With the chip being embedded there, she knew that she had to act fast. She looked up at Faith and Giles. “Hold him down and try to keep him still and you go and get me an adhesive bandage or a piece of duct tape…quickly.”

Without bothering to explain she got up and searched the room. She spotted a small radio sitting on the occasional table by the stairs and leaving it plugged into the wall, she grabbed it and carried it over to where Spike was laying. “Come on Giles…hurry up!”

In a few moments he slapped a large square bandage into her hand and she dug into her pocket and pulled out a penny. Putting the coin in her mouth, she removed the backing on the bandage and stuck it to his neck, just behind his ear. Taking out the coin, she slipped it beneath the absorbent pad and pressed the entire square down to hold it all in place. Knowing that she had to work fast, she broke the radio over her knee and looked for the wires she needed. “Everyone stand back and when I say three, put all your slayer speed to use and jump off of him Faith.

When Faith nodded, Buffy began the countdown and when she hit three she pulled the wires at the same time Faith leaped off of him. She felt the current shooting through her arms and pressed the exposed wires against the bandage. Instantly the current changed course and poured into him. He began to twitch violently and she forced herself to slowly count to twenty. When the right amount of time had passed she pulled the wires away and waited to see if it had worked. She watched a few more trembles run through his muscles, flexing them involuntarily but after a minute she knew he would be alright.

“What in the sodden hell did you do?” He asked her, feeling like his entire body was one throbbing mass of pain.

“I saved your ass so try saying thank you.” She told him with a grin pulling him close for a kiss. With his lips against hers, she ran her hands through his hair, just to reassure herself that he was really okay. Pulling away, she looked into his face. “I thought I was going to loose you.”

“I’m alright luv.” He gave her another quick kiss, to soothe away the worry in her eyes. “I didn‘t mean for it to sound that way pet. What I should have said, is how did you save me? I felt like I was burning alive and then you turned up the flame and instead of becoming the big pile of dust like I was expecting, I’m talking to you.”

“I had to…if your chip would have kept firing your brain would be ash right now. So I crossed the currents and fried the fucker.” Buffy told him with a smile. “A kid in one of the juvenile homes I was staying at, used to boost radios out of cars for pocket cash. He was trying to impress me so he told me how to use a car battery, walkman, bandage and a penny to short out a car alarm. I didn’t believe it would work so he took me out and gave me a little lesson in the art of breaking into cars. The security systems work off a single chip and I figured it would work the same way on yours.”

“Of course,” Willow said getting it immediately.

“Umm care to share that with those of us who don’t?” Xander asked, nudging her lightly with his elbow.

“Pennies are 99.2% zinc with a 0.8% copper coating. Copper is a great conductor but add that with the zinc and you get close to 12 times the power of the original current. The metal attracted the charge and since electricity always takes the path of least resistance, the spit on the coin was easier to pass through then her so the current went into him. Which since Spike is well…not all ashy it was enough to burn of the nodes in the chip making it useless.”

“Okay we know how she knows this, but we sure didn’t cover this in class…did we?” Xander asked shaking the knowledge around his head and not even getting a glimmer of recognition. “Because if we did, it’s no wonder I working in construction.”

“Zinc and Copper are in the forefront of Water Purification techniques and I was researching the other uses for them, hoping for a little extra credit in my applied chemistry class.” Willow explained a nearly giddy look in her eyes. “I wonder if the professor has ever heard of using that effect on a car though.”

“Do you mind Red. I nearly died and you’re bouncing around like it’s sodden Christmas.” Spike said crossly, getting to his feet.

“He does have a point Will,” Faith said easily. “How are you even going to tell your professor how you learned it?”

“Internet.” Willow riffed, receiving not only a scowl from Spike but also one from Buffy. “Sorry…not what’s really important right now.”

“What I want to know is why the chip went off to begin with.” Buffy said, taking Spike’s hand in her own. “I bet Adam had something to do with it but I don’t get how he could have known that Spike wasn‘t playing for his side anymore.”

“What makes you think Adam had anything to do with it at all?” Riley asked, not sure why he had said that. It made sense to assume that Adam was behind this, but for a second there it didn’t.

“First the chip doesn’t work then it tries to kill him. Add in the fact that he has access to all the Initiative files, he is about the only person left who knows how the thing works. What I don’t get is how he found out. I don’t believe that any of you told him but he’s either listening in or he’s just decided he didn’t need Spike after all.” Buffy said trying to think about everything they had told her about the Initiative and Adam plus what she had seen the night they met. “Either way we have got to assume he’s onto our plans, so I think we have no other choice but to attack tonight or else there are going to be a lot of dead people and demons to put together tomorrow.”

“Then I suggest we get started…it will be dusk soon and then it will be time to start.” Giles told them calmly, a cold sense of purpose filling into his bones.



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“Did you all ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that says something, is really, really wrong?” Buffy asked softly while everyone scurried around in preparation for the battle that was to come. “Because I don’t know about you but something doesn’t feel right.”

“We’re about to attack a killing machine created by the government and there’s a pretty good chance it knows we’re coming and is counting on it.” Xander paused for a moment and shook his head. “Nope, I don’t know why anything about that seems wrong.”

“You‘re right…you’re a fricking genius Xander!” Buffy said a brilliant smile already spreading across her lips.

“Not that I’m complaining but why am I a genius again?” He asked as everyone around them turned to look at Buffy.

“He’s expecting you all, or atleast Faith but he doesn’t have a clue about what I was or am now.” Buffy said already playing it all out in her head. “If he triggered Spike’s chip it could have been because it was taking you so long to crack the disk and fall into his trap. Which would point to Spike double crossing him but he doesn’t know I’m with your group and my arrival threw things out of whack for a bit. But since you all are the good guys he knows you have to go in, even if it’s a trap because there are lives at stake. We just overlooked the fact that without Faith in the mix, the plan is a no-go because there wouldn’t be enough demon parts to play scientist with. And since the demons are going to know he betrayed them by locking them in, all those that survive will go after him.”

“Surely you're not suggesting that we allow all those soldiers to die?” Giles asked more than a little taken aback by her train of thought.

“You‘re missing the point.” Buffy cleared off the center of the coffee table and grabbed a handful of pretzels and laid them down before doing the same with a handful of popcorn. Glancing around the table she grabbed Xander’s bag of skittles and laid them down as well.

“Okay guys you’re skittles, the popcorn is the soldiers and the pretzels are the demons. Right now we’re trail mix because Adam’s put us all together so he could eat us all up. Now the popcorn and the pretzels don’t get along and the skittles don’t get along with the popcorn or the pretzels. But the great thing about skittles is that they’re a mixed bag of candy goodness all on their own.” She separated out two red skittles and one green one. “Now this green Skittle still has a few popcorn pals, pals who like him might be willing to do what it takes to keep their people safe…even from their own pet project. The two red skittles are me and Spike. We’re demons and not just any demons but a turned Slayer whose now head of a bloodline and William the Bloody, formally part of the Scourge of Europe. Even as half-breeds we beat out whatever the hell Adam is because we’re natural demons and not something cooked up in a lab. So while the rest of the skittles are dealing with Adam, why don’t we try to take the popcorn and pretzels out of the mix without anyone having to get eaten?”

“Just how do you plan on swaying the pret…demons to your side?” Giles asked seeing the merit of her plan but finding it impossible to achieve. “What’s in it for them?”

Buffy smirked. “I’m guessing they sided with Adam because they were pissed off at the humans for playing mad scientist and couldn’t find any other way to bring the Initiative down without working together. I’m going to promise the demons that’s it's shutting it’s doors for good and if the government won’t do it…I’m going to help them see they are messing with things they don't need to be messing with. So no matter what happens with Adam, the Initiative has to go. I’m not saying I have all these fluffy feelings for demons, but experimenting on them and using them to create even bigger monsters is wrong. But for the battle with Adam atleast, they’ll have to agree to a temporary truce with the soldiers and the Slayer. I‘ll make it clear that I‘m not on their side but since both Faith and I also fit into the Initiative’s idea of walking science projects, it will atleast go to show that we want the same thing they do…unlike Adam who has his own secret agenda.”

“Okay, but how am I suppose to convince the soldiers that letting a whole bunch of demons loose is a good thing?” Riley asked, running his hands through his hair. “They think I turned against them Buffy.”

“They think or the new boss thinks?” Buffy asked arching her eyebrow. “I’ve only known you a couple of days and I can see you’re a real boy scout and you’ve been with the other troops how long? I‘m not saying it will be easy, especially since you can‘t do it in person because they‘ll arrest you but I think it can be done. For his plan to work Adam‘s going to have to reveal himself and take control of the base. When that happens, they‘ll see you were right. Now what do you think they‘ll say when all the demons they‘ve captured and beat on are suddenly loose but don‘t attack?”

“They’ll want to contain the largest threat, Adam, at all costs and assume that the demons will either flee the town or that they can be recovered later.” Xander answered, his army guy training coming back to him. “Their people will take priority over forcing a fight in which they’ll suffer high casualties.”

“That’s what I’m counting on atleast, because if the first shot’s fired it’s gonna go down.” Buffy admitted the biggest risk to her plan, with a deep sigh. “These two group are just itching for a reason to fight and if someone from either side throws the first punch, it’s going to snowball from there.’

“Let’s say I can convince the others to stand down but how are you going to keep the demons in check?” Riley asked trusting his people to do the right thing when it all comes to a head.

“Actually I'm more worried about you controlling the humans.” Buffy said being completely honest. “Demons all have one thing in common, a highly evolved since of self-preservation and once I make it clear that any demon that causes trouble will be dealt with when the dust settles I don’t expect any problems. As head of the bloodline, all vampires with our blood will have no choice but to honor my threat and since there are literally thousands of Aurelian vamps out there and more being made every day there’s no place to hide.”

“But that’s assuming that the vampires in the order accept you as their Master.” Wesley said, making a valid point.

“They don’t have any choice mate.” Spike said knowing the answer to that. “Angelus wasn’t fond of the old Master at first either but unless he was willing to challenge him, he had no other choice but to obey his rules. Anyone can challenge the head of the bloodline, it won’t get them the job of course but the old Master’s death will cause a change in command. It’s against our ways to challenge the Master in anything but a head to head duel but since the Master had Angel banished from the line until he lost his soul again, he wasn’t sought out by the line for him siding with the lot of you. So even if they don’t like Buffy, they have no choice but to obey her because our blood declared her as our Master. Once she’s dust the new Master can resend her vendetta’s or rules but until then, what she says goes.”

“It helps that my mate is William the Bloody and once we renew the claim between us, it will further discourage challenges because if someone kills me it’s his right as my mate to fight them. Hell if someone offends me, he can fight them. Not a lot of things are sacred to vampires but it’s a big no-no to mess with someone’s mate. I‘m going to remove Angel‘s banishment as well if he can straighten up his act and that will give me another strong and feared ally.” Buffy waved her hand, deciding now was not the time to lay out her plan for the future of her new vampire line. “But that’s not really important right now. Even as a new vamp I’m already pretty damn scary and my Slayerness will give the other demons a few worries of their own.”

“So why you and Riley are handling the soldiers and demons, what are the rest of us poor skittles doing?” Xander asked popping a few of them in his mouth.

“Wes’s spell, you all join up with Faith and make her super Slaygal and she’ll do the rest.” Buffy said nodding in Faith’s direction.

“Buffy we discussed this earlier. It has to be you that faces Adam and the added power will only further convince the demons to follow your lead.” Wes said giving her a firm look that clearly said ‘you’re not getting out of this’.

“Earlier I was angry and not thinking clearly but now that I am all calm and collected I know what part I have to play in this. Do you know how much I’ve had to take in lately, first I met this strange vampire who tells me it’s my destiny to fight demons and next thing I know I’m here in this town being attacked at every turn. First it soldiers, than a guy with a cross-bow and then another Slayer takes a punch at me. But since I can see she’s got the job under control I’m relived because once this is all over I can go back to my life where I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself. Then suddenly I have no other choice but to admit that I care about someone other than myself and because I just had to get involved with some half-demon kid I have to sign over all control of my life to that prick Travers. Then I find myself falling for a different vampire that somehow managed to slip past all my defenses to touch a part of me I though had died a long time ago. Next thing I know I’m a vampire and before I have even adjusted to that, I’m suddenly a Master vampire with tons of thoughts forcing their way into my mind. Before I know it you show up and make it sound like this spell is the only way to take back control of my life and never realize that my first instinct was right. This isn’t my fight, I’m not Buffy the Vampire Slayer, that’s who you and the council want me to be. I chose a different path, I’m Buffy the Vampire, friend of the real Slayer. That’s my life now and in the future I’ll have my own battles to fight but this one, this fight is Faith’s. I can help her, just like her friends have helped her over the years but it’s going to come down to her in the end.”

“Buffy I understand what you are saying but it still sounds like you are afraid.” Wes told her.

“I’m not the one whose afraid Wes, you are. You don’t know Faith so you’ve sided with me because you know I never back down once I make up my mind. Which I have. Spike and I will handle the demons, Riley the humans, the Scoobies will make with the magicks and Faith will take down the big bad. While you will start calling all your illicit connections to help bring the whole damn building down since you’re the master when it comes to bucking the system. You know just in case the government doesn‘t get the hint to get out of town.” Buffy got to her feet and gave them all a bright smile. “So kids, let’s all get in our places with sunshiny faces and do our best not to get killed and put back together again or dusted as the case may be.!”

“Top notch plan Buff…but leave the motivational speeches to Tony Robbins.” Xander said getting to his own feet. “Cuz, you really suck at them.”

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