(the gang watches a kungfu movie in Xander's basement)

XANDER: Wish I had something food-like to offer you guys, but the hot plate's out of commission.

ANYA: We think the cat peed on it.

XANDER: I do have Spaghetti-O's. Set 'em on top of the dryer and you're a fluff cycle away from lukewarm goodness. (Gestures at the dryer)

RILEY: Hmm. Yeah, I had dryer food for lunch.

(Upstairs we hear a door slam. )

XANDER: (looking up) Ah, I guess the folks are back.

(We can hear voices yelling at each other. Xander, Anya, and Riley look uncomfortable. Buffy is oblivious.)

XANDER: No, no, I was wrong. Just incompetent burglars.

(More yelling from upstairs. Then there's a bang (another door slamming?). Plaster dust from the ceiling drifts down onto Anya.)

XANDER: Yeah, maybe it's definitely time to start looking for a new place. Something a little nicer. Buffy, you've been to Hell. They have one-bedrooms, right?

• Xander's identy issues & insecurities

written by: Jane Espenson; Transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com).. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/81thereplacement.html