SPIKE: (eyeing the sunshine) Oh, so we just open with being on fire. That's great.

ANGEL: Yeah. We can put our coats over our heads and make a run for it.

(Gunn opens the car door, and Angel and Spike reflexively try to cover themselves)

ANGEL & SPIKE: Aah!

(they notice they're not on fire)

GUNN: Alternate dimension, remember? Sun's the non-frying variety.

SPIKE: I figured that.

ANGEL: Oh, right.

GUNN: Can we go?

ANGEL: Yeah. Grab Lindsey and we get out.

GUNN: Kill everything in our way.

SPIKE: What's going to be in our way, the family mutt?

GUNN: This is Wolfram & Hart.

(Spike presses the doorbell, which chimes)

GUNN: Odds are there's something ugly behind that door.

TRISH: (opens the door, smiles) Can I help you?

ANGEL: Uh, is Lindsey home?

TRISH: (nods, smiles) Sure. Come on in. (calls) Honey? (to guys) There's coffee.

ANGEL: No. We're fine. Thanks.

LINDSEY: (coming down the steps) Zach's hockey stick's gone missing. Oh. I didn't realize we had company.

TRISH: I'll do search and rescue. (walks away)

LINDSEY: OK. (to the gang) How can I help you guys?

SPIKE: Cut the act, Ward. June's gone.

LINDSEY: 'scuse me?

ANGEL: You don't know who we are?

LINDSEY: No. Do you play in the league?

ANGEL: No, um...I'm Angel. This is Spike and Gunn.

GUNN: You might want to have a seat.

LINDSEY: (smiles) OK. (gestures to seats for the gang) Please. Is this about the free vacation I entered to win?

GUNN: Does the name Wolfram & Hart mean anything to you? It's a law firm. You used to work there.

LINDSEY: All right, Gunn, is it? Yeah. Now, the only lawyer I know is the one who fixes my speeding tickets.

ANGEL: Well, that guy, he's not real. None of this is. You're under some spell.

LINDSEY: What?

SPIKE: Nuts and bolts, you're in hell. We've come to break you out.

LINDSEY: All right. Who put you up to this? Was it Fisher?

GUNN: There's no joke. You're in a mystical holding cell, an alternate reality.

LINDSEY: So Trish is not my wife and Zach's not my son?

SPIKE: Now he's gettin' it. Ever heard of something called the Wrath?

LINDSEY: Seriously, is Fisher outside?

ANGEL: Lindsey, this whole life is a lie.

LINDSEY: All right. This is starting to get a little less funny. I think you guys should leave.

(...)

ANGEL: I can't believe I'm saying this, but we're here to help.

LINDSEY: OK. Get out. Now.

ANGEL: (grabs Lindsey by the collar) Look, we're telling you the truth. You don't want to believe it, that's your choice. Either way, you're coming with us.

LINDSEY: Get off of me!

ANGEL: (spotting Lindsey's necklace) Maybe this will help you make up your mind.

(Angel rips it off. Lindsey collapses to the floor in a heap. He comes to and tries to sit up when he notices Angel standing there, wearing a dagger on his belt.)

LINDSEY: Angel. Make it quick.

ANGEL: If I was gonna kill you, it wouldn't be quick.

(Lindsey's wife walks into the kitchen, smiling.)

SPIKE: Oh! Hi. Your hubby was just showing us a thing...

(The wife lifts up her arms to reveal she's carrying a machine gun. She points it at the gang and starts shooting. fade to commercial and resume.)

SPIKE: (yelling over the gunfire to Lindsey) Seems your wife's a little moody.

ANGEL: (to Spike) Get Lindsey to the car! Go! Now!

(Angel grapples with the wife. Spike, Gunn & Lindsey get outside, but the car's gone)

SPIKE: Didn't we have a car?

(An icecream truck drives by, and the driver and a postman both open fire on the three of them. They run back inside.)

SPIKE: (to Angel) Hey, our bloody ride's gone.

(Gunn sees the boy Zach creeping down the stairs holding a machine gun)

GUNN: Get down! We've got to find the Wrath. Where's the Wrath?

SPIKE: Where's not the Wrath? The Wrath's all over!

ANGEL: Lindsey, think. Do you know where it is?

LINDSEY: I don't know. I don't know!

GUNN: There's a door by the kitchen. Might be a way out, through the cellar.

LINDSEY: No! We can't go down there, not the cellar!

SPIKE: Cellar it is, then.

GUNN: Guessin' we found the Wrath.

LINDSEY: No! Please, don't!

(they fight there way to the door)

LINDSEY: We're all gonna die.

ANGEL: Not today.

LINDSEY: Every day.

• Angel & Lindsey

written by: Elizabeth Craft & Sarah Fain; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x17_tran.php