BUFFY: If you say one more word, things will become dire.

XANDER: Did you even bother to taste 'em? Nooo! Well, I did, and I'm here to tell ya those mini pizzas have changed my life! Ted is the master chef!

BUFFY: Fine! So he's a good cook. Well, what does that really tell you about a person?

XANDER: Everything.

WILLOW: You don't like him?

BUFFY: I don't *know* him. I, I mean, so far all I see is someone who apparently has a good job, seems nice and polite, and my mother really likes him.

XANDER: What kind of a monster is he?

BUFFY: I'm just saying there's something a little too clean about this clown.

WILLOW: (giggles) He's a clean clown! (gets stares from the others) I have my own fun.

XANDER: Buff, you're lacking evidence. I think maybe we're in Sigmund Freud territory.

WILLOW: He has a point. Separation anxiety, the mother figure being taken away, conflict with the father figure...

BUFFY: He's *not* my father figure.

XANDER: Having issues much?

BUFFY: I am not!

XANDER: (sing song & dance) You're having parental issues, you're having parental issues...

WILLOW: Xander...

XANDER: What? Freud would've said the exact same thing. Except he might not have done that little dance.

BUFFY: Okay, I admit it's weird. Seeing my mother frenching a guy is definitely a ticket to therapy land, but it's more than that. I'm pretty good at sensing what's going on around me, and there is definitely something wrong with this... Ted.

written by: David Greenwalt & Joss Whedon; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/23ted.html