(The station wagon pulls up in front of a garage. A spiny demon looks out of the little window at Angel and Ugly getting out of the car.)

SPINY: (motions to a human wearing a security guard uniform) He's got him!

GUARD: (looks out) Ah, vampires wig me.

SPINY: You feel like a meal?

(Ugly slides the door open and Angel steps in, taking off his glasses.)

ANGEL: (to Guard) Don't tell me, you must be (indicates his nametag) Bob, the security guard. (Steps up to Spiny) and you're a great big -- monster, aren't you?

UGLY: (slides the door shut) This is Jay-don. He talks too much.

ANGEL: I'm a people person. (To Spiny) I like the shirt. Where'd you get that, Ed's big and spiny?

SPINY: He's funny. You're funny. You'll be even funnier when I crush your head.

ANGEL: Funny "ha, ha" or funny peculiar?

UGLY: Shut up, all of you!

BOB: Hey, I wasn't talking.

UGLY: (looks around) Where's Lester?

ANGEL: Yeah, where's Lester? We can't get the ball rolling without Lester! Who's Lester?

BOB: The driver?

UGLY: He should've already been here. I don't like this.

BOB: Hey, he's E.J.'s guy. He'll show.

ANGEL: I hate waiting. (Eyes Bob) You got anybody to eat around here?

(Bob backs away from him. A car door slams outside.)

UGLY: Finally.

ANGEL: What kind of name is Lester anyways, huh? Norwegian? Finnish?

(Ugly slides open the door as Gunn comes up to it.)

UGLY: What took you so long?

GUNN: What took me so long is I'm a professional. (Angel turns to look at him) I had to case the neighborhood, make sure no cops followed me. (Sees Angel) Looks like I'm the last one at the party.

(Ugly, Spiny and Bob are standing around a table. Angel and Gunn are leaning against something a little ways away.)

ANGEL: (quietly) I told you I'd handle this.

GUNN: And I told you I don't take orders.

UGLY: (looks over at them) Something wrong?

GUNN: Depends. (Motions at Angel) Do we all got to wear these ugly ass shirts? (Angel looks at his shirt) Is this, you know, a team thing? Because, you know, I got my pride. (Steps up to the table) So what are we looking for? Ming-somethings? Egyptian-somethings?

UGLY: The Shroud of Rahmon. It's worth about 2 million on the black market. Do you want to pay attention now?

(Angel and Gunn glance at each other.)

GUNN: (to Ugly) You got my undivided.

(Ugly points to a map lying on the table.)

UGLY: This is the access door. Bob turns off the alarm at 2:40. We enter, take this hall to the elevator, where we meet Bob at 2:45. We all go down together. This is the vault where they keep it. The vault has a lock code known only by the curator. That means we have to blow it. Now, the door has no alarm, but the vault itself has its own system -- a thermal sensor.

BOB: Any change in temperature will set off the alarm.

ANGEL: Guess that's where I come in, huh?

GUNN: Oh, no body heat. I guess that comes with the no soul thing, huh?

UGLY: Jay-don enters, he goes to the control box in the back and disarms it. Then we're in.

ANGEL: How big is the case?

UGLY: Big. (Opens a book and points to an illustration) It's made of consecrated wood, the edges are sealed with gold. Inside the box is lined with lead. It weighs about a ton. It's going to take all of us just to lift it.

SPINY: I can handle my end. I'm not so sure about him.

BOB: Hey, I can handle my side.

GUNN: Yeah, maybe with a forklift.

BOB: You want a piece of me, huh?

(Bob lunges across the table at Gunn but Angel pushes him back.)

ANGEL: Hey, hey, take it easy, huh? (Points at Gunn) This guy here is a troublemaker. Alright, I know a Majnu demon, professional driver, never opens up his mouth.

GUNN: Yeah, and I know a vampire that better shut his!

(Ugly watches Angel and Gunn)

ANGEL: Hey, guys, I apologize. This is something (hits Gunn and grabs him) I should just take outside!

UGLY: (pulls out two guns and aims them at Angel and Gunn) I've got a problem with that.

SPINY: So do I.

ANGEL: (lets go of Gunn) You expect me to spend the rest of the week with this clown?

UGLY: No, just the rest of the night. We're not waiting. We're doing this now.

GUNN: Tonight?

UGLY: And no one leaves my sight until it's over. Anybody tries, they get a bullet from me or (motions towards Spiny) a stake from him.

• Angel & Gunn

written by: Jim Kouf; Original transcript anonymous. Edited, formatted and checked against source by chicken_cem. . Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season2/transcripts/30_tran.shtml