WILLOW: What do you think of this?

XANDER: Nice.

WILLOW: It's my first big dance, you know? Where there's a boy and a band... and not just me alone in my room pretending that there's a boy and a band. I just want it to be...

XANDER: Special. That's why I spared no expense on the tux.

WILLOW: The tux? I thought you, uh, borrowed it from your cousin Rigby.

XANDER: Expense to my pride, Will. They're our only relations with money, and they shun us... as they should.

WILLOW: What do you think about this?

XANDER: Nice.

(Willow helps Xander with his tie, smiles)

XANDER: What?

WILLOW: I was just... Remember the eighth-grade cotillion? (giggles) You had that clip-on?

XANDER: Hey, I was pretty stylin' with a clip-on.

WILLOW: And now here we are, and it's... Homecoming.

XANDER: Yeah, we should face it, Will. You and I are gonna be in neighboring rest homes while I come over so you can adjust my, um... My, uh... Well, I can't think of anything that's not really gross.

So, uh... you and Oz. How do I put this? Are we on first, second, or, uh... ye gods?

WILLOW: That's none of your business, Alexander Harris.

XANDER: Ooo, rounding second.

WILLOW: You don't know that. What about you and Cordelia?

XANDER: Oh, a gentleman never talks about his conquests.

WILLOW: Oh, yeah? Well, since when did you become a... (emerges from behind screen)...gentleman? Uh, I know. 'Nice.'

XANDER: I was gonna go with 'gorgeous'.

WILLOW: Really? You, too. I-in a guy way.

XANDER: Oz is very lucky.

WILLOW: So is Cordelia... i-in a girl way. I don't know if I can dance in this. I don't know if I can dance!

XANDER: Come on. Piece of cake. Here. Well, that seems to, um...

WILLOW: Yeah. This shouldn't be a... problem.

XANDER: No. No problem.

(they kiss)

XANDER: That didn't just happen!

WILLOW: No! I mean, it did, but it didn't!

XANDER: Because I respect you. And Oz. And I would never...

WILLOW: I would never, either! I-it must be the clothes. I-it's a fluke.

XANDER: It's a clothes fluke, that's what it is. And there'll be no more fluking.

WILLOW: Not ever.

XANDER: We gotta get out of these clothes!

WILLOW: Right now! Oh, I didn't mean...

WILLOW: I didn't... me, either!

• Xander & Willow

written by: David Greenwalt; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/39homecoming.html