WILLOW: Buffy! How come you weren't in class?

BUFFY: Vampire issues. Did Mr. Whitmore notice I was tardy?

XANDER: I think the word you're searching for is 'absent'.

WILLOW: Tardy people show.

BUFFY: Right.

WILLOW: And, yes, he did notice, so he wanted me to give you this. (hands her an egg)

BUFFY: As far as punishments go this is fairly abstract.

WILLOW: No, it's your baby!

BUFFY: Okay, I get it even less.

XANDER: Well, you know, it's the whole 'sex leads to responsibility' thing, which I personally don't get. You gotta take care of the egg. It's a baby. You gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values.

WILLOW: My egg is Jewish.

XANDER: Then teach it that Dreidel song.

BUFFY: I can't do this! I can't take care of things! I killed my Giga Pet. Literally, I sat on it and it broke.

WILLOW: You'll do fine!

XANDER: Yeah, the only thing that stresses me is when do we tell them that they're adopted?

BUFFY: I'll just lay that one off on my partner. Who'd I get?

WILLOW: Well, there were an uneven number of students, and you didn't show, so...

BUFFY: I'm a single mother?

XANDER: No man of her own.

BUFFY: Do you know what this says about me? That I am doomed to lead my mother's life! How deeply scary is that?

XANDER: How 'bout this: it says nothing, it means nothing, this whole egg experiment thing is completely pointless!

• Academics

written by: Marti Noxon; Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson. Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/24badeggs.html