(Wes is looking past the naked sword blade to the person holding it.)

WESLEY: You wouldn't dare. You were just going to toss in a Prothgarian broadsword with a third-century ceremonial Sancteus dagger?

CORDELIA: Hmm. Let's see. Long, metal, pointy. - Yup.

WESLEY: Cordy! The purpose of an inventory...

GUNN: Yes, give us that (mimics Wes English accent) purpose of an inventory speech - again.

WESLEY: This wasn't my idea.

CORDELIA: No. Angel - keeps complaining that the weapons cabinet is all different. But, Wesley, who's the boss around here? You - or the guy with the pancreas dagger.

FRED: What time is it?

CORDELIA: Six twenty four, and for those of you who are playing the home game: that's exactly three minutes from the last time you asked.

FRED: I'm sorry. I just - I have this theory that the more you are aware of time the more slowly it moves, which *could* make light speed travel possible, but only if you were to concentrate really...

CORDELIA: He'll be back when he's back.

FRED: So - now that she's alive again, are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?

WESLEY: Well - *Fred* - that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say - no. Not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also 'nuh-uh.'

FRED: But you said he loved her. And of course she's gonna love him back, because he's so strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. I-I mean, if you go for that sort of thing, why wouldn't it work?

CORDELIA: Let me break it down for you, Fred. (Assumes the roll of Buffy) Oh - Angel! I know that I'm a Slayer and you a vampire - and it would be *impossible* for us to *be* together - *but!*

WESLEY: (assuming the roll of Angel) But! My gypsy curse sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy!

CORDELIA: Yes, Angel?

WESLEY: Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to *brood!*

CORDELIA: And just because I sent you to hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.

(Wes grabs a hold of Cordy's wrist.)

CORDELIA: Oh!

WESLEY: Or possibly more.

CORDELIA: Gasp! No! We mustn't.

(Wes pulls Cordy close.)

WESLEY: Kiss me.

CORDELIA: Bite me!


(Wes bends Cordy back over his arm and pretends to sink his fangs into her neck.)


ANGEL: (arriving) How about you both bite me.

FRED: You're back!

(Cordy and Wes see Angel watching them and quickly scurry apart.)

GUNN: How'd it go?

ANGEL: I think those two pretty much summed it up. To be honest - I *really* don't wanna talk about it.

CORDELIA: But... ah, Angel - we're your friends. And, and it-it's not healthy to repress stuff like *this.* You-you need to share your - pain, express those feelings of grief and longing or... The curiosity is gonna kill me!

ANGEL: Oh, no. Wouldn't want that.

FRED: Personally, I don't care at all what happened.

CORDELIA: Shut up, Fred.

ANGEL: Actually, you know what I need right now? - Ice cream. (Looks at Fred) You wanna get some ice cream?

FRED: I like Ice cream!

(She walks over to Angel and they leave the hotel together.)

CORDELIA: Now we'll never, ever know.


ANGEL: (off screen) That's right.

• Buffy & Angel
• Cordelia & Angel
• Funnies

written by: Mere Smith; Original transcript anonymous. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season3/transcripts/49_tran.shtml