XANDER: You seen my cuff-links, Uncle Rory? Little metal deals, hold my sleeves together?

UNCLE RORY: Ah, you don't want those. What you really want is Velcro. Did I ever tell you how that was my idea?

KRELVIN: 'Scuse me, coming through. (to Xander) Hey.

XANDER: Hey!

KRELVIN: How you doin'?

XANDER: Good.

XANDER: (noticing) Rory? Whatcha doin' there?

UNCLE RORY: Well, I'm trying to make myself an Irish coffee, but this stupid thing is on the fritz.

XANDER: Yeah, uh, watch it, it's still plugged in.

UNCLE RORY: Gotcha.

KRELVIN: Oh, is, is that broken? You want me to take a look at that?

UNCLE RORY: Knock yourself out there, Kevin.

KRELVIN: Uh, it's, uh, Krelvin.

UNCLE RORY: Right, right. Krelvin.

MRS. HARRIS: (entering) Whoo!

MR. HARRIS: Xander, you're not ready yet?

MRS. HARRIS: Look at my hair. Of course, I suppose it doesn't really matter, 'cause I won't actually be in any of the pictures.

XANDER: (exasperated) You'll be in the pictures, Mom.

KRELVIN: I think your hair looks lovely.

MRS. HARRIS: Oh.

XANDER: Hey, hey, how's about some breakfast?

MRS. HARRIS: Oh, well, I guess if I'm a little plump it doesn't matter, since I won't really be-

XANDER: You'll be in the pictures, Mom!

MR. HARRIS: That's one of hers, right? (to Krelvin) Hey. You're one of hers, right?

XANDER: You met Krelvin already, Dad. Last night.

KRELVIN: Yeah. Yeah, uh, we met. You, uh, you said I resembled your mother-in-law.

MRS. HARRIS: Tony!

MR. HARRIS: (remembering) Oh, yeah.

KRELVIN: And then, you hit me with a cocktail wiener, and then you insulted my heritage.

MR. HARRIS: Heritage? Being circus folks is suddenly heritage now? I mean no disrespect, of course. I'm sure you come from a long, proud line of geeks. I'm kidding. Just kidding.

COUSIN CAROL: Xander? Xander! (softly) You know that guy Kevin? If he could clear up the skin problem... do you think... (sighs) Do you suppose he'd date a woman with a kid? I mean, I really can't afford to be very picky.

XANDER: Cousin Carol? Your earrings are my cufflinks.

COUSIN CAROL: They are? Oh my. Oops.

XANDER: Excellent. (calls toward the others) Cufflinks: check. We're rolling. Nothing on earth can stop this wedding now.

written by: Rebecca Kirshner; transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com). action descriptions edited by me. . Full transcript at:
http://www.studiesinwords.de/116hellsbells.html