(Hyperion: Wesley's office)

MONICA: Wesley. That was it.

SYD: Don't be ridiculous, Monica,it wasn't Wesley, it was Sherman.

MONICA: You don't even know any Shermans. (to Fred & Gunn) It was Wesley. Irish fellow, right?

SYD: He was English, you old bat.

MONICA: Anyway, that's who we were talking to. Is he here?

GUNN: Ah, he's... on sabbatical.

FRED: We're really sorry for the mix-up. Now, it says in your file you have a squatter in your lair?

SYD: Damn no-good Skench demons. They're all alike.

MONICA: Here we go...

SYD: A person spends his entire half-life...

MONICA: (by rote) ...building a lair to relax in...

SYD: ...and what happens? A Skench demon squats...

MONICA: ...right down on your coffee table. (to Fred & Gunn) Ask me how many times I've had to listen to this.

SYD: Like you ever listen.

MONICA: And you have so many interesting things to say.

GUNN: So Skenches. I've heard about them. Sorta impish kinda demon - like a leprechaun?

SYD: Leprechauns don't exist, son.

MONICA: Now, Syd, don't embarrass the lad.

SYD: Oh, sorry, kid.

GUNN: Skenches take over a house, right? Drive out the people who live there?

MONICA: Well God knows you can't stay, what with the shrieking all night and the projectile phlegm.

SYD: The only thing worse is puttin' up with her for three hundred years.

FRED: You've been married for three centuries?

MONICA: Ever since the mitosis.

SYD: Not that I'd mind being a single-celled organism again.

MONICA: Oh, shut up, Syd.

GUNN: I thought gettin' rid of Skenches was pretty easy though. Don't you just lop off its head?

SYD: Sure, if you can avoid the phlegm.

MONICA: Syd has a phobia about phlegm.

SYD: I do not. I have a phobia about sputum.

GUNN: Okay. Think we got everything we need. I'll get right over there and clean out your Skench problem today.

FRED: Thank you for coming. We'll call you as soon as it's done.

SYD: Call me anytime.

MONICA: Oh, for cryin' out loud, Syd, that girl's not a sixteenth of your age. Put your eyes back in your head.

SYD: A demon can dream can't he?

GUNN: Man. You hear those two?

FRED: It's beautiful. All that time and they're still in love. The way they finish each other's insults, it's...

GUNN: Beautiful.

GROO: (entering) Is there evil to vanquish?

GUNN: Oh, thanks, bro, I got it. Just a little mucus demon under Alvarado and Clark. I'll be back soon.

FRED: Don't forget your machete!

GUNN: Yes, dear.

(He leaves.)

GROO: He is very fortunate to have such a woman looking after his weapon.

LORNE: (Entering with Box, laughs.) I'm not touchin' that one. Here we go. Probably best to keep this stuff out of sight, just in case...unh. Yeah, unh. Anyway. I gotta run. I have a reading in Topanga Canyon: figured it'd be a good time for housecalls, considering the vibe around here. Hey... if, if he needs anything...

FRED: I'll call.

• Gunn & Fred

written by: David Goodman; Original transcript anonymous. Edited, formatted for this site and checked against source by ann.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season3/transcripts/62_tran.shtml