GUNN: Five herb shops in Chinatown and we've been to four. How come whatever we're searching for is always in the last place we look?

WESLEY: I supposed it is one of the unwritten laws of being a 'dick.' (Gunn give Wes a look) Ah, a sleuth, a gumshoe, Sherlock.

GUNN: All I know is you use the word 'dick' again and we're gonna have a problem. So what is the name of this place anyway?

WESLEY: Van Hoa Dong. It should be up there on the left. How was Cordelia when you spoke to her?

ANGEL: She said she was fine.

WESLEY: You don't believe her?

GUNN: Alright, here we go. Next time we're hitting the last place first.

(they park and enter the shop, where an old asian couple is puttering about)

WOMAN: Your kind not welcome here!

GUNN: Since when can't a brother buy some ginseng tea?

MAN: Not you. (Points at Angel) Him! Vampire not welcome!

WESLEY: This is a public facility and any being may enter. We're looking for an ancient coin.

(The Chinese couple exchanges a look - then both let out a scream and flip over the counter, landing in a martial arts stance.)

GUNN: Ah, so you think some fancy flipping and a little hollering can intimidate guys like us? (Suddenly their hands turn into long, gray claws) Okay, that creeps me out.

ANGEL: You two take grandma. I'll take the old man.

(fighting. Wes & Gunn manage to subdue the woman, and Angel gets the man)

GUNN: Damn. Grandma and grandpa got game.

WESLEY: Yeah, I know. Now if we could just find that coin before they come to.

ANGEL: Guys. Over here.

(Angel reaches down and snaps the leather necklace holding the coin from around the old man's neck.)

• Funnies

written by: Jeffrey Bell; Original transcript anonymous. Edited and formatted for this site by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season3/transcripts/46_tran.shtml