ROGER: I gotta tell ya. Everyone is so dang friendly. I can't get over it.

ILLYRIA: (as Fred) Well, they kinda have to be, daddy. I'm their boss. If they're mean to you, I'll just fire 'em.

TRISH: Have we not seen each other since I ran over that bug demon with the bus? How is that even possible?

WESLEY: Things have been a bit hectic these last couple...years.

TRISH: Well, I want to hear absolutely everything, but most importantly, have you got a young lady in your life?

ILLYRIA: (as Fred) Mom!

TRISH: What? I was just asking. Well, can I help it if there's a perfect gentleman hiding in plain sight of my single daughter?

ILLYRIA: (as Fred) Dad, make her stop.

ROGER: Knock it off, big mouth.

TRISH: (to Wesley) He keeps talking to me like that, I'm gonna keep you for myself.

ROGER: Uh, is this whole laboratory yours, honey?

ILLYRIA: (as Fred) Well, technically, it's the company's, but... yeah. I'm in charge of it. Wanna see my office?

ROGER: That's it up there? (to Trish) Come on, baby.

TRISH: Well!

(they go up the stairs, leaving Wes & Illyria momentarily alone)

WESLEY: What the hell are you doing?

ILLYRIA: (as Fred) Visiting with my folks.

WESLEY: Illyria?

ILLYRIA: (as herself) Your grief hangs off of you like rotted flesh. I couldn't tolerate it from them as well. I thought this would be more convenient.

WESLEY: How's it possible?

ILLYRIA: It's a simple modulation of my form. I appear as I choose. Do you wish me to stop?

TRISH: (steps out of the office) Sweetie, you have got to do a better job decorating. This office is as bare as a bone.

(she notices the tension between Fred and Wesley)

TRISH: Is everything OK?

WESLEY: Everything's fine.

ILLYRIA: (as Fred) Absotively.

• Wesley & Illyria

written by: Steven S. DeKnight & Drew Goddard; Original transcript by CariCranberry. Edited & formatted by me.. Full transcript at:
http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/season5/transcripts/5x20_tran.php