Summary: Buffy secretly (sneakily) helps (tricks) two of her friends. ;)
Spoilers: Minor through the third season.
Disclaimer: Joss made them. I like to mess with their lives on occasion.
Rating: PG13
Feedback: Yum. Very yum.
Thanks to Tracy, for betaing.

"C'mon..." Buffy wheedled, tugging on Willow's arm. "You know you want to."

Willow turned away, looking determinedly at her book. "I should be studying.
And no, I don't want to. Why are you so insistent about this?"

Buffy sighed. "Well, if you're not going to go after Xander now that the
timing is *finally* right, and you're free and he's free and you're both at a
marrying age, then you need to at least be dating *someone* who's human. I
mean, really Will, I want you and Xander to get together, but if that's not
in the cards then fine. You need to move on from the past with someone."
Willow started to speak, but Buffy cut her off. "*Other* than me."

Willow pouted. "I thought best friends were supposed to stick together."
She stopped, and then looked at Buffy strangely. "A marrying age?"

"They usually are," Buffy agreed, ignoring her last question. "Unless one of
them is using the other as her comfort zone."

"I object to that, your Honor," Willow grinned.

Buffy laughed and shook her head. "Overruled. Now, I know you and Xander
are in love. He knows it and you know it, but both of you refuse to do
anything. That's not healthy. So if Xander's not healthy for you, Find.
Someone. Who. Is."

Willow groaned. "Why do I suddenly feel like I'm going to do this, even if I
don't want to?"

Buffy gave a little bounce in her chair. "Because you were always the smart
one."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"C'mon...." Buffy wheedled, tugging on Xander's arm. "You know you want to."

Xander shook her off playfully. "I don't want to, Buff. I'm going to wait
until the perfect woman strolls up to me and asks me to marry her. It should
sit good for you that I'm so attuned to feminism."

Buffy smirked. "It's not going to happen that way, Xand. And besides, I'm
the most feminine feminist that there is, and *I* wouldn't ever ask a guy to
marry me."

"That's because you're already married." He glanced at the Claddaugh ring on
her hand and rolled his eyes. "Sort of."

Buffy smiled. "Yeah, to a husband I can't have sex with."

"But you're still faithful," Xander pointed out.

"Of course I'm..." Buffy trailed off, glaring at him. "Way to change the
subject. You're doing this. Even if I have to hurt you to convince you.
You know, tough love."

Xander started to laugh, but stopped when her gaze didn't soften. "Come on,
Buff. You wouldn't force me, would you?"

Buffy nodded quickly. "Look. I know you're in love with Willow, and I know
she's in love with you. But if neither of you are going to make a move, then
I want you to each be happy, even if it's with someone else. I want
*someone* in our little group to be happy. Okay?"

Xander stood from his bed and walked to his window, looking out over the
campus of Sunnydale University. After a moment, still gazing out the window,
he spoke. "So I have no choice?"

Buffy gave a little bounce on the mattress. "You have no choice," she
confirmed brightly.

Xander looked at her, trying not to laugh. "Then I'm in."

She squealed. "Yay!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow crumpled the third piece of paper into a tight ball and threw it into
the waste basket, sighing in relief when Buffy walked in the room. She
looked up gratefully. "I'm so glad you're here! I need help with this."

Buffy grinned and sat down cross legged on the bed. "I told you not to start
without me! Well, I guess it's okay because you're writing for you, but I
just wanted to know what you were going to say." She winked. "You're
getting into it, I see."

Willow stifled a laugh. "I might be if it weren't so hard. I know exactly
what I want to say, and I can't get it down. Plus, I have to condense it.
It'll be too expensive otherwise."

"Okay... How about something like, 'Pretty and petite redhead seeks same?"
Buffy suggested. Willow glared at her and she giggled. "Fine.
'Intelligent, attractive female seeks man with...' What are you seeking?"

Willow thought. "He should be witty. Would it be shallow if I asked for him
to be attractive?"

"Yeah, but that's okay," Buffy said, smiling widely. She pursed her mouth a
moment. "Got it. 'Intelligent and pretty female student seeks man with a
good sense of humor and a great smile. Someone who can make me laugh when I
don't want to and smile when I feel bad, someone willing to get to know me as
well as I know myself. Smart and witty men only, no perverts.' "

Willow rolled her eyes. "Would you be serious for a sec..." she paused.
"Actually, that's pretty good. Well, except for the perverts part. It might
be a little more than I had originally said I would pay for, but that sums up
what I want." She began writing it down and Buffy got up to peek over her
shoulder.

A minute later she broke the silence. "But, Will," she cried, "The pervert
thing was the best part!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy breezed into Xander's dorm room without bothering to knock. Xander was
sitting at the desk, studiously writing something on a note pad, and Buffy
stopped in amazement. Finally she spoke up. "I didn't realize you knew how
to study."

"I don't," he mumbled. "I'm working on that... thing you're forcing me to
do. Even though I'm humiliated to the depths of my soul."

"At least you have a soul," she joked, leaning on the edge of his desk.
"What are you writing?"

"Crap. It's all crap." Xander groaned. "God, you promise not to tell
Willow or Giles that I'm doing this? And if I actually meet someone, you
promise not to tell them how? Oh, and *not* Angel, either, because he'd tell
Cordelia and then the whole not telling thing would have been worthless."

Buffy plucked the paper off the desk and nodded, skimming it. "You're right,
it's crap. No offense."

"None taken."

"And of course I promise not to tell!" she said, indignant that he would even
question her. "You'll be the only one who reveals anything, should you
choose to." She hesitating, her lips twitching. "Long walks on the beach?
Moonlit strolls through rose gardens? And are you crazy?"

"Okay, offended now," he said, pretending to pout. "Well, I know it's crap,
but why?"

"Everyone writes that. Well, every guy, anyway. They think that pretending
to be romantic is the easiest way they're ever gonna get laid. The only
problem is that women started seeing through that a long time ago," she
explained patiently. "Talk about how funny you are, or what you want in a
woman."

Xander looked up at her. "You think? You're sure that won't sound too
self-involved?" he asked, smiling when Buffy shook her head. "Okay, then how
'bout this one. 'Devastatingly handsome and witty man with the most
wonderful sense of humor you will ever hear wants to meet you. Yes, that's
right, you. Someone of eternal beauty and grace. Who is a nudist."

Buffy slapped his arm. "Very funny." She tilted her head to the side.
"Very funny... You know, Xander, if you smooth that out a little and take out
a lot of the words, you just might have something."

He gave her a sardonic grin. "Very funny. So what do you suggest?"

"Ummm... Here. 'Handsome and smart male student seeks woman who I can make
laugh. I have a very cheesy sense of humor, which I like to pretend is
charming. I'm looking for a woman who is sweet and more charming than I am,
who can carry an intelligent conversation and still laugh like a child with
me.' "

Xander nodded thoughtfully and then his expression brightened. "So when did
you start thinking I was handsome?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow shrieked, throwing the door open and then slamming it shut behind her.
"Buffy!!" she yelled. "Get out here!!!"

Buffy came racing out from the bathroom, her hair still soapy and her towel
wrapped loosely around her. "What?! What the hell is the emergency? Are
you dying? Dead?!" She skidded to a halt when she saw Willow in the middle
of their room, grinning. "Okay. You're not dead *yet.*"

Willow laughed, shoving the paper at her. "Look! It came out, it came out!"
She did a little spin, falling on the bed.

Buffy tied the towel more tightly around her and then sank onto the mattress,
staring at the paper. "Wow. This is pretty cool. Did you check the male
section yet?"

Willow raised her eyebrows. "No. You were in the shower."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "And I still should be. Give me five minutes."
******

When Buffy emerged from the steamy bathroom twenty minutes later, she found
Willow still staring at her ad. "Does it change from minute to minute or
something?" she asked, amused.

"No," Willow responded mildly, "But I thought that if you stayed in there any
longer, it might have gotten bored and decided to." She grinned. "Okay,
males?"

"Lotsa males," Buffy agreed.

Willow flipped to the male section of the personals and began perusing the
offers and pleas. After barely a minute of looking, she paused, her eyes
shining. "Look at this one! He likes long walks on the beach and..."

Buffy tore the newspaper away from her wildly. "Bad Willow!" she giggled.
"Those really really romantic sounding guys are the ones who just want sex."

Willow looked offended. "That doesn't seem very fair..."

"It's not." Buffy's eyes flew down the page until they locked on what they
were looking for. She tried to sound casual. "Oh, hey, look at this one.
He seems pretty nice." She pointed at the ad and Willow looked it over,
slowly smiling.

"Yeah, he really does. Kind of honest, too, and sweet. And, oh! I can
carry an intelligent conversation, can't I?"

"More than anyone," Buffy confirmed brightly. "Except maybe Giles."

Willow hopped up. "Well, I like him. Uh, not Giles. Though I don't not
like Giles! In fact, he's very attracti... I just mean, um, this guy here
is the one I like." She blushed. "I'm going to write him now."

Buffy nodded, repressing her laughter. "Sounds like a good idea to me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A pounding woke Buffy up and she bolted upright in bed. The sunlight
streamed in the window and she looked at the clock, groaning, before she
shrugged. So she'd missed most of her first class. She had been busy saving
the world from vampires the night before, what were the other excuses?

She yawned, still underneath her covers, and yelled out. "Come in!"

Xander rushed through the door, carrying a newspaper and several sheets of
paper. Opening his arms before her, he let them all flutter and drop onto
her bedspread. He sat down on the edge of her bed and looked at her
intensely as she picked one up. Her eyebrows raised until they seemed to
shoot off her forehead. "What's all this? Where's Will?"

"Letters," Xander replied frantically. "Letters from every woman in the
world. And the ad was posted in the Sunnydale Times! And I just talked to
Willow, she was on her way to class. She wanted to take this newspaper away
from me for some reason!"

"Well...." Buffy trailed off, looking carefully at the letters until she
found the one she wanted, deciding to not dignify his last comment with a
response. "Are there any that you find particularly interesting?" she asked
cautiously.

"Actually, the one that you're holding, I think. And a couple of the others
are sort of okay. But what do I do? You're not supposed to give your name
or real address, just a post office box." He sighed heavily. "Do I write
back to these no-names or something?"

"You could..." Buffy paused, then a gleam came into her eye. "You could
look into the female's section of the personals. See which ones *you* like.
It's okay to be choosy."

Xander thrust the paper at her. "You pick for me."

Buffy stared at him blankly. "Huh?"

"Well, you're so good at this, and everything you've said has come to pass
like your word is the Codex or something. So, you pick. I place myself in
your hands." Xander stopped and then grinned at her. "Not literally,
though. Unless you're into that sort of thing."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Stop flirting with me. We need to find
you a girlfriend."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow folded her arms across her chest. "I'm not going. No."

Buffy rolled her eyes heavenward and gave a deep sigh. "Willow, you told
your mystery guy that you were going to meet him there. You'd be standing
him up." She smiled comfortingly at her friend. "And, besides, you've been
falling for this guy through the mail for a month. It's about time you met.
It's getting too You've-Got-Mail-ish."

Willow looked at herself in the mirror and shook her head. "It's just not
possible that I went crazy enough to let you dress me for the second time in
my life."

Buffy patted her arm. "You look fantastic. He'll... Uh, whoever he is...
Will go nuts over you."

Willow stared at her reflection and gave a tug on the bottom of her skirt.
"This is way too short. Look at me!"

The skirt was black and reached her knee, cut in a flouncy pattern. Her
shirt was white silk, and she had it tucked it, bloused a little at the
bottom. As a "finishing touch," or so Buffy put it, she had added a little
crushed velvet, forest green jacket over the outfit. On her feet were
strappy black leather sandals, and her hair was curled and flowing prettily
around her face, a single daisy behind her ear. Willow groaned again.

"I *am* looking at you," Buffy insisted impatiently. "Now go. Right now,
leave. And I will go to the coffee house to make sure you're there if I
think I need to."

"Oh, would you?" Willow asked hopefully. "I mean, what if he's an
axe-murderer?"

"He's not," Buffy said firmly. "I think. Okay, I'll be there, I'll come a
little after you leave. But it's a public place, so don't worry." She gave
a little push on Willow's back. "Now scoot!"
*****

Buffy headed for the phone as soon as Willow was out the door. She hit speed
dial two, and the phone picked up on the first ring. "Xander!" she scolded.
"I know for a fact that your date is in twenty minutes. What are you still
doing there?!"

"Being afraid?" he suggested meekly.

"Listen to me," Buffy said sternly. "She's a great girl. I've read her
letters and stuff, and you guys seem to get along great. You're the same age
and you have a lot in common. If you don't go and meet her, I'm going to go
and pick her up and drive her to your house."

"Thanks," he said, relieved. "I was hoping you would say something like
tha--"

"Xander!"

"What?"

"Leave. Now."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The little coffee house that had been designated the meeting place was alive
with activity. Willow stepped in, smiling at a few people she knew from
college, and one or two she knew from high school. Relaxing music played on
the sound system, reminding Willow of Oz's band and she grinned, wondering
what her ex-boyfriend was doing at that moment.

After a few moments of searching, she found an empty table in the back and
worked through the chattering crowd to get there. Seating herself, she made
sure that she was facing the door so that her telltale daisy was showing and
her new friend would be able to identify her.

She placed her chin against her hand, propping her face up as she gave an
experimental smile. Maybe I shouldn't be facing the door, she thought. I
lived up to my part of the bargain, I came. Buffy never said I needed to let
him find me. Where *is* Buffy?! Where is *he*?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander made his way through the crowd, inhaling the smell of various coffees
from all over the world. He wrinkled his nose, wondering when the beatnik
poetry was going to start.

Finally he spotted her, a girl with wavy dark red hair and a flower behind
her ear. Xander grinned. He couldn't see her face because it was hidden in
shadows, but he could sense that she was a girl who was pretty. She probably
has the best smile, he thought, maybe even as nice as...

His throat went dry as he neared her. "Willow."

She looked up, startled, her green eyes wide and unbelieving as Xander sat
down next to her. She licked her lips. "Uh... Xander... I'm expecting
someone."

He simply stared at her, waiting for her to catch on.

"And it's you, isn't it?" she asked dryly, biting back a laugh when he
nodded. "So where do we go with this, where do we go from here?"

Xander looked at her for a long moment, at the glitter in her eyes, the
softness of her hair, the curve of her neck. Slowly, haltingly, he reached
across the table and took her hand. "Anywhere, I think," he murmured,
stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. "But I'd like to not go there
without you."

Willow trembled, sighing, and then met his eyes again. "You know how much it
shocks me when you're romantic like that, right?"

He grinned. "It's my secret weapon. Charm to kill."

Willow lowered her eyes to their linked hands and smiled. "Why not, charm to
make me fall in love with you."

"Isn't it the same thing?" he joked.

"Sometimes I think so," she conceded with a smile, leaning across the table
towards him. Xander met her halfway and they kissed lingeringly, their
mouths and tongues melting together hotly, sweetly, their hands clasped
beneath them.

Finally Willow broke away, breathless. "Do you want to go somewhere more
private and do that?"

He nodded, standing eagerly. "I don't mind doing it here, but who knows what
the darkness of my room has to offer?" He winked and Willow giggled.

Their fingers laced and they started out of the coffee house, laughing
together. Suddenly Willow stopped, and Xander ran into the back of her as
she stared out the window. "What is it??"

"Xander," Willow said slowly, "You do realize that it was Buffy who tricked
us, right?"

Xander kissed her shoulder. "Did you want to thank her or something?"

Willow grinned slyly, surreptitiously gesturing to the window. "Maybe later.
I'm thinking that something else might be fun for the weeks of plots, ploys,
and manipulation from a Slayer with too much time on her hands."

Xander's eyes discreetly followed where Willow's hand was pointing, until
they locked on the petite small girl directly outside the window, staring at
them with rapture. He snickered. "I have to say you're right, Will. But
then, you always are."

Buffy tensed as she finally realized they were looking at her, and heading
for the door quietly at the same time. She paused, trapped, as the door
burst open and her two best friends glared at her with concealed grins.
Buffy gave a small "Eep!" and bolted out into the street.

With a lot of laughter ringing out through the night, her friends chased
after her.

The End

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