Summary: ...Someone's perceptions of reality. ;)
Spoilers: Through everything so far.
Disclaimer: Joss.
Rating: G
Thanks to Tracy for the title and the beta.
For Karen, who writes things that I love.

I never really see you until you see me back.

Before that moment when our eyes lock, you are nothing but a dream in my mind
and then you look straight back at me and become reality. You step into it,
from one world to another, as quickly as your gaze can move.

*She is only a girl. ...Yes, but she will find me out.*

Before you came along, I wondered where my happiness went. I thought that
since I grew out of childhood, my happiness was gone with it. I thought that
growing up meant leaving behind all that was precious and innocent and fun.
And then I met you, and you reintroduced me to the joy of life. You were a
child-- mostly grown up but still a child-- and always will be in the most
important, beautiful ways.

Unlike adults, you walk like a child, your hands in the air moving to
whatever words come out of your mouth. You have the passion of someone who
hasn't yet forgotten what it's like to think that fireflies are magical. You
walk purposefully, but not in a straight line... You have many things to do,
your lolling gait says, but you want to experience it all at once, don't want
to stop and do one thing at a time. You want to drink life down and enjoy
it. Nothing's too much.

I love that about you.

And you have such brilliance inside of you. It makes you shine. You've
always shone to me, do you know that? You didn't let growing up and learning
about the darkness of this world ruin your sweetness, didn't let the secrets
destroy your soul, and I... I admire you for that. For everything.

You don't realize that I'm in the room yet. Or maybe you do, but are still
having the trouble finding the strength to look at me.

I will roll myself into a ball of strength for you. Throw myself across time
and chance for you. I will be the bridge or pulley because you are the dream.

It's been years, I know. But I had to come back now, don't you see? I had
to come back to you because you are everything that's clean in this world.
Snow-covered mountains and desert sunrises seem polluted and gritty to me
without you there to share them, to add to their beauty. The world was
dulled once I met you and discovered what life was.

The world without you, anyhow.

And then you turn to me and step into reality as your eyes catch mine. I
shiver when those shining green orbs recognize me, when I become as real as
you. It's been too long, Willow.

*She is only a girl. ...Yes, but she has found me out.*

You reach me in an instant and I'm not sure if you ran to my side or if you
were close enough to take just one step and be here, I'm so in awe of being
close to you again. But then you pause, not knowing what to say, searching
for the words like I am.

"Oz," you whisper, and I'm reminded of that day so long ago when I first left
you to travel the world. My name is brokenhearted on your tongue and yet
there's something else there.

I think it's hope.

"I've missed you, Willow." The words fall out of my mouth and I don't really
want to catch them, just pray that you hear them the right way, hear them how
I intended them. Hear what it's sounded like to me for years. Hear
everything else I'm not saying.

And, you do. Your eyes fill with tears, and you reach out to take me in your
arms.

Hold me close. Don't let me go, and I'll never let you go again.

I've been dying for these three years without you. The world has faded and
it's been me living for a memory, living for a distant dream. But in this
moment, with your scent and arms surrounding me, the world rushes in. No
longer black and white but full of color, becoming real. Like you're real.

Like you've made me.


The End


Send some feedback
More W/O fic
Keep browsing