One Of Those Times

by: Amy

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It was over, finally over. Or, over for the most part. Over until Graduation Day. I hoped. The Mayor had walked out with his box, the box that was given for my life and no one had stopped him. No one had stopped him because no one was able to. I suddenly felt bad, for myself, for my friends, who had exchanged so much for me.

Oz wrapped his arm around me protectively and I leaned in against him, comfortable with his warmth, his familiarity, the security I felt. His arm was like the overhang of a building in the rain, a place to duck under for strength against the cold wetness that could drown, a warm dry place. I smiled and he returned my smile with one of his own, one of his full-of-Ozness smiles. My smile became a grin as he leaned forward and brushed my lips with his, lightly. I could sense the release of tension and fear in that short kiss and kissed him back, telling him silently that I loved him, that I was there, that I wouldn't leave again.

We reached the library and he didn't let go of my hand as I hopped onto the counter next to Buffy. My hand dangled, attached to his grip and he lifted it for a second to kiss it.

Giles came out of his office, bedraggled and tired-looking. He looked at Oz for a second. "Oz, I think we can handle this, perhaps it would be best if you went home and got a good night's rest."

Oz looked like he was going to protest leaving me, but I smiled reassuringly and nodded. "Yeah, I'll get a ride home. Or walk with the bestest of the best Slayers in town." Buffy and I exchanged smiles.

"Okay, if you're sure." He still sounded doubtful, but I leaned down to kiss him goodbye and he left without any protest.

Giles's impatient look returned as soon as he left. He turned to me. "Willow, why don't you tell us what happened?"

I nodded, turning to Buffy instead. "It was so cool. Well, I wouldn't do it over, I don't think, but I got out of the cage they put me in by staking a vampire." Everyone's eyebrows shot up at that and I giggled. "With a pencil," I clarified. "Anyway, so I get into the Mayor's office, and I'm looking around, and I go over to his book case and open it, and you *would not* believe the kind of stuff he had in there! It was really disgusting, the skulls and offerings to evil Gods and all that. So I leaned down, because I saw another, lower, locked case. Finding the Books Of Ascension, I leafed through them and Faith finally came up behind me."

Buffy looked startled, but I just grinned again. "I really gave it to her, Buffy. You would have been so proud. I called her a big, selfish, worthless waste. Those were my exact words, really!" I felt way too hyper for it to be normal. "So Faith was like, 'I'm gonna beat you up!' and I was all, 'I'm not afraid of you!' And then she had the knife, which was less fun. A-And! And then, oh! I told her, 'You made your choice, Buffy was your friend!' " Buffy gave me a smile that bordered on a laugh before Giles interrupted.

"Yes!" We looked at him. "This is fascinating, but lets get back to the point. You actually had your hands on the Books of Ascension?"

I nodded slowly, deciding at the last second to go with the new, squeaky voice that was rolling around in my head telling me to give him a bit of a hard time. "Volumes One through Five," I confirmed.

Giles's eyes lit up hopefully. "Is there anything you can remember about them that could be of use to us-- Anything at all?"

"Well..." I stretched it out, pretending to think. "I was in a hurry... And what I did read was kind of involved. If you ask me, *way* over-written." I nodded again, decisively.

Giles looked so let down it was almost comical, knowing what I did and he didn't. His voice was disappointed, a whisper. "Oh."

"Actually," I continued, "there were a few pages that were kind of interesting, but I didn't have a chance to read them fully."

Giles looked down again as I pulled the papers out triumphantly and waved them in front of him. "See what you can make of them?" I smiled.

He smiled too, looking at the papers with a rapture I had only seen on his face once or twice before. Like holiday lights, his whole face lit up with something like childish glee and he took the papers from me to rush off into his office.

Buffy grinned at me. "This is your night for suave, Will. You should get captured more often."

"Noo, thank you."

Wesley spoke up, and from the first word, I knew he was going to say something neither of us liked. "Well, I hope there's something useful in those pages. The Mayor has the box of Gavrock." He walked towards us, distaste and disapproval on his face and I knew I was right. I had always tried to be nice to him before, but hey, if he wasn't going to show the same respect for the people who had saved his life...

He went on, stopping next to the counter. "And as of now, we are right back where we started." He looked pointedly at Buffy, and I saw her face fall. "Wouldn't you say?"

Buffy looked lost for words and I finally said something. "No, I *wouldn't* say that, Wesley. Can I ask you, how much has that oh-so-powerful Watcher's Council told you about what she's done here?"

He looked shocked. "W-well, everything, I suppose."

I kept going, feeding off my anger. "Well, then I guess that they've told you that Buffy had to kill her boyfriend to save *you*," I punctuated the 'you' with a poke at his chest, "from going to Hell. That she's been the most successful Slayer in history?"

"Of course," he replied, a little shaken.

"Well, then, I'm sure you have more faith in her abilities than you're letting on, right? Because you aren't letting on much." I was being mean and I knew it, but I didn't care. I stabbed his chest again with my finger. "This kind of pressure is *so* healthy for her, don't you think?"

He stuttered something unintelligible and looked at us, aghast. Really, though, Buffy was looking at me with something that resembled Wesley's expression, so I guess I was a little too... Too something. He finally got some words out.

"I'll go help Mr. Giles."

With that, he rushed from the main library and went off to annoy the real Watcher. Buffy and I locked eyes.

And then we promptly burst into giggles.

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After I got home, I lay down on my bed and let my room fill me like it had over the years I had spent in it. So much of my life had taken place in my room, it was home to me, a place that I had always known. Comfort washed over me and I felt good.

Or I would have, if I had been able to get Buffy's face out of my head, her expression in the second that Wesley started talking.

I called Oz. He always knew what to tell me.

"Hello?" That full, rich voice that I loved.

"Oz, what do I do?"

I heard him give a sigh, of happiness or relief or confusion I didn't know.  'Bout what, Baby?"

"Everything. Me, you, Buffy. Everything."

He took a minute before answering. "Well," he said slowly, "What do *you* think you should do?"

I laughed and my mind cleared, quickly and suddenly. "Thanks," I whispered.

"You're always welcome. I love you."

"I love you too," I answered without hesitation. "I'm going to go. I'll see you tomorrow, kay?"

I could hear his slow, adorable grin. "Sure. Later. Sweet dreams."

He'd make a good psychiatrist.

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I sat on my bed with the papers scattered around me. Harvard, Yale, Duke, MIT, Columbia, UCLA, Oxford.... The papers were everywhere, piles of sheets of the acceptance that I had worked so hard for.

And one stood out more than the rest. I picked it up and looked down at it for a long, long time.

I didn't see it, however. I saw myself as a shy fifteen year old, painfully shy, who only had two friends to her name, whose mother and father hardly paid attention to her, whose sole purpose was to make another A. I saw myself meet Buffy, saw all of that change, saw myself opening up. I saw my first kiss with my boyfriend, my first words and meetings with my boyfriend, the sweetness of animal crackers and monkey pants. I saw my first kiss with my best friend, who I realized almost too late was only that, but not just only, but the best at being my best friend. I saw how close Buffy and I were, how much she loved us all, how much we all cared for Giles.

I saw it all happen in the town where I grew up.

And I made my choice, clear and simple as that.

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The next morning dawned crisp, but the California sun began baking the earth early in the day. After school, I approached Buffy, who was crouched against a tree in the quad. Her eyes were faraway and I leaned against the tree when I got up to her.

"Deep thoughts?" I ventured.

She smiled up at me. "Deep and meaningful," she agreed.

I lowered myself down next to her. "As in?"

She sighed, not exactly sadly, but resigned and accepting. "As in I'm never getting out of here. I kept thinking 'If I stopped the Mayor or..." She rolled her eyes a little. "But I was kidding myself. I mean, there's always going to be something. I'm Sunnydale Girl! No other choice."

"Must be tough," I commiserated as she looked down at her hands. "I mean, here I am, and I can do anything I want." I shrugged. "I could go to any college in the country. Four or five in Europe if I wanted to."

She gave me a half smile, a Will-thanks-ever-so-for-cheering-me-up smile. "Please tell me you're going somewhere with this."

"Nope." I took the acceptance letter out of my pocket and put it in her hands. "I'm not going anywhere."

She looked down. "UC Sunnydale?"

I nodded proudly. "I will be matriculating with the class of 2003."

She looked at me, her eyes shining with painful hope. "Are you serious?"

"Say," I wondered out loud, overly innocent. "Isn't that where you're going?"

I saw it coming, but didn't have time to prepare as Buffy leapt at me, covering me in a fierce hug. We tumbled down the gentle slope giggling, and rolled a little away from each other. As she started to lift herself up, she spoke again.

"I can't believe it, are you serious? Ah, wait, what am I saying?" I sat up and looked at her evenly. "You can't."

I had had time to prepare for *that*.

"What do you mean I can't?"

"I won't let you," she pointed out as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I laughed softly. "Of the two people here, which is the boss of me?"

"There are better schools," she tried.

"Sunnydale's not bad! I can I can design my own curriculum," I rebuffed.

"Okay, well, there are safer schools." Couldn't argue with that one. She rolled her eyes heavenward and smiled. "There are safer prisons. I can't let you stay because of me."

"Actually, this isn't about you," I revealed, still working my own feelings out in my head. "Although I'm very fond-- don't get me wrong-- of you, the other night, you know, being captured and all, facing off with Faith. Things just kinda... got clear. I mean, you've been fighting evil here for three years and I've helped some, and now we're supposed to decide what we want to do with our lives. And... I just realized *that's* what I want to do. Fight evil, help people. I mean, it's worth doing. And I don't think you do it because you have to. It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."

I finished and she was looking at me with that affectionate smile that made me realize why we had become friends. "I kind of love you," she told me fondly.

I gave a little laugh and smiled. "And besides, I have a shot at becoming a bad-ass Wicca. And what better place to learn?"

She grinned, suddenly exuberant, realizing that nothing held her future back. I would be there for her, everyone would. The future *wasn't* going to be lonely, hopeless. We wouldn't let it be. "I feel the need for more sugar than the human body can handle."

My eyes went wide with excitement. "Mochas?"

"Yes, please!" she told me playfully as we got up.

We started walking away, off campus, and her voice was lighter when she spoke again. "It's weird. You look at something and you think you know what you're seeing and then you find out it's something else entirely."

I smiled at her sideways. "Neat, huh?"

"Sometimes it is," she agreed.

The best thing about it was, this was one of those times.

The End

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