Lean on Me was nominated for 1999 Golden Frog Awards in the categories of Best Drama and Best 7+ Part Fic.
Summary: Set a few years in the future, the Slayerettes have to find something
to help one of their own.
Spoilers: Through Enemies, I guess.
Disclaimer: MINE MINE!! HAHAHA!! The characters are all MINE! Well, okay,
they're not. But I like to pretend sometimes.
Rating: As of now, PG.
For my Goddesses. You know who you are (I hope) and why I worship you.
< g >
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Lean on Me was nominated for 1999 Golden Frog Awards in the categories
of Best Drama and Best 7+ Part Fic.
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by: Amy
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May 14, 2001
"Hi, Will. I was just... Well, not in the neighborhood, but wanting to see you, I guess." Xander squeezed her hand as she stared at him. Taking a glance around, he shrugged and ventured a smile. "Not bad surroundings, you know? I mean, you've lived here for almost two years..." He trailed off, looking sad. "I'm babbling again, huh?"
"Well," he continued, "There *are* some things that are going on that are pretty cool and important. Um, Giles got a whole new shipment of books in today, which is usually only *really* important to him, but this time maybe... Well, he thinks that there might be something in these ones that will help us figure out what's been going on."
He sighed, a long deep sigh and leaned forward, oblivious of Buffy walking up behind him. "I know that we've thought that before. I know that I've said that to you a million times, but this could be different. It could always be different... Willow, I know that you can hear me, understand me," he half pleaded. "I know you can. I know that deep down, there's you somewhere. There has to be. You're too strong to have just disappeared like that." Buffy placed her hands on his shoulders and he flinched.
Ignoring Buffy and staring into Willow's eyes, he tried to see something (anything!) that resembled her life, her humor and spirit. All he found was a dull, unwavering gaze that was centered on his forehead. Tears filled his eyes and he leaned back against Buffy's hands.
When Buffy spoke, her voice was somber, cautious. "Xander... I know you've been clinging to the hope that it's something that's been *done* to her; we all have. But maybe we need to face the possibility that she did to herself. I mean... after everything..." she finished lamely, not knowing how to comfort him, much less herself.
Xander looked up at her sharply. "You never did this to yourself."
"Well, no," she agreed delicately. "But my mind has been trained for the last six years to handle... certain... things about life and death."
"So was Willow's," he defended. "Buffy, you didn't know that you were a Slayer for any more than a year before we found out. You didn't. And, what? Because she doesn't have superpowers, that means her mind is weak? Her heart? Buffy, she's the best of all of us. Of anyone," he finished coldly. Buffy looked taken aback and Xander immediately felt ashamed.
He stood, taking her hands in his. "Look, I'm sorry. It's just getting harder to deal with the more time that goes by. I mean, all the doctors' crap that I have to listen to everytime I visit, which I know, *know*, is wrong. 'She's going to remain like this forever, Mr. Harris. She's never going to recover her mental abilities.' " he mimicked.
Xander brushed the top of Willow's hair with a kiss that went unacknowledged as he and Buffy left the room. Buffy squeezed his hand as they left the building and headed for Xander's car. "Xand, you're right to hope. I do too. I was wrong to be so pessimistic in there. It's just so... tiring, you know? I agree with you. She's going to come back." Buffy didn't let her fear reveal itself in her voice and looked up into Xander's grateful eyes.
"Thanks," he murmured. "I just can't believe that she would... over...."
Buffy looked at him, understanding.
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June 28, 1999
Willow skipped into the library with a sunny smile lifting her features. "Giles!" she called out in a voice way too big for her little self. Giles came dashing out of his office, his clothes rumpled and his glasses askew. Willow giggled at his appearance and he gave her a slight smile, straightening up.
"I'm, ah, sorry, Willow. I was researching and I seem to have... fallen asleep." He looked so downcast that Willow walked over to his side and put her hand on his arm sympathetically.
"Giles," she warned him gently, "I know that you sometimes need to be awake all night, and it's okay to do that on occasion, but it can be awfully unhealthy if you do it night after night after night. You're a Watcher, not a vampire. You're not nocturnal and never will be, no matter how hard you try to resist sleep."
His smile widened at the girl at his arm who was obviously so concerned for him. Walking over to the desk, he sat down in one of the seats heavily.
"I know, Willow. I'm sorry to have concerned you. You are right, though I dread to admit it. I'm afraid it's my pride that convinces me I can do without something so essential." He looked at Willow with a crooked grin. "Now. Why were you yelling?"
She smiled, some of her happiness bubbling over. "Oz! The spell I did last night worked. Or, we think it did. All of his skin tests came out normal, and so tonight... He'll be able to see the full moon again!" She thrust her chin into the air proudly.
"That's wonderful, Willow. Congratulations," he told her sincerely.
"Thanks! Of course, this will make him more vulnerable, as for a whole month he's not a werewolf at all, but once the spell wears off next month, he'll be back to his wolfy state."
Giles's eyebrows arched. "Why not just do the casting again when it does?"
Willow sighed a little, with only traces of disappointment in her tone. "The spell only works one month out of the year, when the moon is in the correct alignment with the earth. And this is that month. So it's not a total disappointment." Impulsively, she hugged him. "Thanks so much for having so much faith him my abilities that you let me do this for him."
He returned her hug after only a moment of shock and looked at her warmly when she pulled away. "Of course."
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May 15, 2001
Xander walked into the library, letting the door swing shut behind him. He looked around the room and was flooded with the feeling that he was that sixteen year old boy again, nervous and insecure about everything but... He gulped. Insecure about everything but Willow. She had always been his rock.
Which is why he was determined to be hers.
Buffy walked in behind him, disturbing his thoughts. She grinned, as happily as she ever had in the past two years. She looked calm and rested, but there was a vague look of haunting in her eyes that mirrored Xander's. Her smile fled as she looked at him compassionately.
"It's not the same without her, is it?" Her words jarred the stillness, but Xander nodded.
"Yeah. It's not that it's quieter or anything, but lonelier. God, Buff. Is this what we're going to feel like for the rest of our lives? We say something like that every time we've walked in here since it happened. It's like the library was..."
"Her heart. Her domain," Buffy finished. She looked around dispassionately and then brightened. "Kinda like Giles. Have you ever seen a book since you met him and not thought 'Gee, that smells like my Watcher?' "
Xander flashed her a grin, something that had become all too rare. "Well, since I don't *have* a Watcher, yeah."
Buffy socked him lightly on the arm. He snickered at her before tending to his bruised ego and muscle.
Giles walked in and Buffy turned to him, her eyes alight as he breezed past her, his arms full of old books. "So, Giles. New cologne?"
Befuddled eyes turned on her with a confused smile. "Er, ah, no. Buffy, Xander," he said, changing the subject quickly to something he understood, "Did you speak with Willow yesterday? Did anything pertinent happen?"
The relaxed looks on their faces faded, replaced with creased foreheads. Xander's voice was hushed and rough when he finally spoke. "Yeah. No change. Yet. I'm going back there tonight."
Giles looked at him in concern and Xander shrugged. "Well, mental institutions are a lot nicer than they used to be," he defended mildly. Xander knew that Giles was thinking he was trying to convince himself of something that wasn't there, something that probably wouldn't be there again. And maybe he was. But he preferred to call the term "faith."
Buffy leaned over her Watcher's shoulder, inspecting the books that were now resting on the desk. "So, do *you* have anything pertinent for *us?*"
Giles's mouth lifted in brief amusement. "Not as of yet. I've only had the chance to go through two volumes of the Calibriam." He waved his hands over the books, a set of prophetic texts that Giles had wanted for years, but was just getting the chance to look at. They had been sold to him at a high price, but he had paid gladly. They were reputed to hold the only prophesies of a tight-knit group in the end times. He could only hope that that was a reference to the Slayer and her friends. What other group had been through as much together as they? he wondered. But so far, nothing had turned up and he was beginning to lose his steam.
Buffy noticed the worried crease between his brows and spontaneously took his hand. He looked at her gratefully and she smiled. Xander reached for a leather bound book.
Flipping through it idly, he looked at the two of his friends. "Then, we should go through the rest."
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June 29, 1999
Willow looked at Oz affectionately. "So, do you feel any different?"
Oz stared up at the moon and then looked at her with adoring eyes. "Well, I don't want to gobble up your flesh, so I'd put that under the 'yeah' box."
Willow giggled and Oz leaned forward to kiss her bared shoulder lightly, marveling to himself how good she looked in spaghetti straps. How good she looked in anything, really. He nipped her skin lightly, eliciting a shiver and another giggle from her.
"Thought you didn't feel like gobbling my flesh," she laughed.
He grinned crookedly. "Well, maybe I should reword that..."
Leaning forward, he allowed himself to forget words for a moment as he caught her lips in a kiss. Looping her arms around his waist, she leaned into him, into his lips and smell and everything good that made him Oz. He smiled against her mouth as she shivered again, not from the cold, but the warmth of the embrace. His lips pulled away from hers teasingly and she leaned even closer as to not let him get away. Opening her mouth under his, she could feel his heart beating against her chest, like the wings of a young bird. Willow felt the sudden sting of tears and the pain of too much tenderness. She pulled her mouth away from his and snuggled into his shoulder.
Sighing, she caught his eyes. "No, really," she insisted, partly to get her mind of such intense feelings that he aroused in her, but also because she wanted to know. "Do you feel different?"
"Yeah," he murmured. "A little. Kind of..... I don't know. It's sort of like I breathe easier or something. Not that it's hard for me to breathe when... It just feels lighter."
"It should," she confirmed. "You're human. Nothin' supernatural about you right now. I guess being any sort of creature of the night carries a heavier spirit. But, well, you're human..." She let her words trail off and they looked out over the hill in companionable silence.
"Thanks for this, Willow," he whispered suddenly. He waved around himself to the remains of the night picnic she had planned. "It's worth a lot to me."
She grinned at him impishly. "An upgraded computer?"
He laughed. "When I'm rich and famous," he agreed.
Her voice when she responded held traces of amusement, but also an honesty and fierce loyalty that made his knees weak. "Well, I'm sticking with you until then."