Summary: Part one of a two part series. Cordelia has a vision that has the
ability to bring people together, or to tear them apart. Set a few years in
the future.
Spoilers: Through season four of Buffy, and season one of Angel.
Disclaimer: Joss made the characters. I like to make them cry.
Rating: PG13
Thanks to Laura for the rockin' titles, and to Tracy for being such a rockin'
beta-er. :)

Forgive Me, Father

by: Amy

* * * * * * *

"Angel, I have to talk to you." Cordelia shoved the vampire into his office, not apologizing when his coffee splashed onto his arm. Angel glared mildly at her, and then sat down with a sigh.

"What's going on?"

Cordelia shook her head. "I know what you're thinking. I know that you're thinking something like, 'Cordelia is always over dramatic and I put up with her because she needs the job.' Or something to that effect."

Angel had the decency to look embarrassed. "So... What's going on?"

She sat down across from him, biting her lip. "This is really serious."

"I'm listening."

"No!" Her breath was ragged. "I mean, I know you're listening, but I want you to be in a serious frame of mind when I tell you this. It's important."

Angel was alarmed. He had never seen Cordelia this upset over something not shopping-related. "All right. I'm listening."

Cordelia looked at him for a moment, and then nodded. "I had a vision."

"Well," he said slowly, "Sometimes you do that. Where's Wesley? Why didn't you guys come in together?"

"Because I had a vision about him."

Angel nodded, understanding sweeping over his face. "And you didn't want him to know? He'll most likely find out eventually."

"I know." Cordelia exhaled heavily. "I know. I just... I couldn't wake him. It's not... It's not something any one of us would have expected. Ever."

"Was he..." Angel folded his hands together expectantly. "Was he killed in your vision?"

"No." She swallowed. "It was sort of different, like I was seeing the past as well as the future. Angel, I don't know if Wesley ever told you about his family... I took him forever to tell *me*, and we've been married for three years. So I don't know how he'd react to me telling you this, but I think you'd need to know that..."

"His father was abusive," Angel supplied. "And no, he never told me. Not directly, but that was the feeling that I got from some of the things he said."

Cordelia paused. "Yes. But there's more. He was raised by the Watcher's Council, basically. They would... do horrible things to him, when he did something wrong. Like, they would lock him under the stairs of their... castle, or something... for days at a time, to teach him a lesson. They used to whip him, with an actual whip, until he was bleeding all over the place.
We're not talking spankings, here, we're talking *whippings.* It was pretty brutal. Sometimes he still wakes up at night from a nightmare about his childhood."

"I see." Angel's eyebrows knitted together in compassion.

"And we've both seen pictures of his father, who looked like the most cruel person on the planet," Cordelia continued, her voice shaky. "But, the thing is... Those weren't really pictures of his father."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the father that Wesley thinks of as his father is not the father that really fathered Wesley," she got out in a rush. Angel looked at her in confusion. "In my vision, I saw Wesley saving his father's-- his real father's-- life. I saw the past, too, when Wesley was a baby. Don't ask me how I knew it was him; I just did. And I saw the Wesley being taken away from his father... And Wesley has to save him. But I don't know how to tell him he has to save him without telling him everything else, and I'm not sure that the rest *should* come from me." Her shoulders sagged. "I just wish I had more answers."

Angel looked dazed. "So... Wesley has to save his father, then?"

"Yes."

"Did your vision happen to tell you where he was?"

"No." Cordelia chewed on her lip again, silent for a moment. "But I already knew that part."

* * * * * *

Wesley squeezed Cordelia's hand. "Will someone at least tell me how far we're driving?" He lowered his voice, glancing at his wife. "I'm not sure you should be taking long car drives in your condition."

Cordelia laughed lightly and kissed him. "I don't have a brain tumor, I'm three months pregnant. It's very different, and sitting down for an hour and a half isn't going to hurt me any."

Angel glanced at the couple in the rearview mirror, a small smile curving his mouth. "She has a point, Wesley. And it's not as though she didn't go running around LA the last time she was pregnant."

Wesley sniffed indignantly. "Yes, well, the last time she was pregnant was nearly six years ago, and she was carrying the offspring of a demon. I'd like to think that my child should be handled more delicately than that." He paused a moment. "An hour and a half? We're going to Sunnydale?"

Cordelia looked at Angel, and felt, though she didn't see, his eyes on her in the mirror. They had agreed not to tell him that he was going to save someone's life. The knowledge might mess up the actual saving, Cordelia had pointed out. Angel had agreed.

Wesley noticed the sudden silence in the car and looked at both of them, confused. "Is there some reason no one is speaking?"

Cordelia touched his cheek. "Yes, we're going to Sunnydale. We wanted to... um, tell everyone that I'm pregnant. You know, in person. Where there could be hugs and kisses and I could cry some more." She smiled. "You know, these awful hormones."

His hand smoothed back her hair. "Yes, love. I adore those hormones." He leaned down and touched his mouth to her stomach, kissing the small curve. Her stomach had used to be soft, but now it was hard and beginning to round. He sat back up, a grin tugging at his mouth. "Those hormones make you a way I'd always hoped to see you; nice."

Angel burst out laughing, and glanced over his shoulder to share a smile with Wesley. Cordelia looked away from them indignantly, shrugging off her husband's touch, waiting for him to apologize as she knew he would.

And, promptly, he did. He reached for her again, his touch now tentative and apologetic. "I'm sorry, darling. I didn't mean to upset you. I know how delicate you are." He ignored Angel's snort. "Please forgive me."

When Cordelia turned back to him, her eyes were soft. What she wouldn't do for Wesley, who had saved her heart from a loneliness she didn't even want to contemplate. This man, who had given her everything that she never knew she had always wanted, the man who could touch her soul with a single glance that told her how he felt about her. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and she absolutely loved it. She leaned forward and brushed her mouth over his tenderly, her hand slipping into his, relishing the soft 'clink' that sounded when their rings collided.

"You're forgiven," she said loftily, and was surprised when Wesley grinned, as though he knew she was playing with him all along. Cordelia's eyes flicked to her watch, and she gave a small gasp. "Angel! Um... Don't you think we should hurry?"

He glanced at the clock on the dashboard, muttering a curse. His foot pressed harder on the accelerator.

Wesley looked at both of them, befuddled. "Why are we hurrying?"

The silence was almost deafening.

* * * * * * * *

Thirty minutes later, Angel pulled up in front of Giles's apartment complex.  He and Cordelia unbuckled quickly, and when Wesley took his time, Cordelia reached over and unbuckled him, leaning across to open his door. He looked at her in amazement, and stepped out as Cordelia and Angel fairly ran up the walk.

"*What* is going on?"

Cordelia laughed nervously. "We're... Just excited to tell them, that's all."

He looked at them suspiciously, and then his eyes darted to Giles's apartment. Something was thrown out the window, shattering it, and it whizzed by their heads. A small paperweight.

The three looked at each other and then ran inside, pausing a moment when they surveyed the chaos around them. Pieces of china lay broken and scattered over the floor. The bookshelf had been toppled over. And in the hall, a weakening Giles was trying to fight off a large demon.

The demon was reptilian and dripped a purple-gray slime from the wounds Giles had managed to inflict. Still, it continued to come, its claws winding around Giles's neck. The Watcher choked, weakly shoving the thing back, his hand sliding ineffectively against the goo that oozed off the blue scales.

Angel started forward, but Cordelia gently caught his arm. Somehow, she knew that the vision was given to her to test the man that she married, to show them all something. Wesley's eyes were wide, and he stepped forward haltingly, glancing around wildly. His eyes finally landed on a heavy ax that had slid out from Giles's weapon chest when it had been knocked forward.  With a pounding heart, he swooped down and hefted it over his head.

He gave a low grunt as he swung, effectively severing the demon's head right off of his body. It bounced against the floor, rolling a few feet and then stopped against the couch. Giles gasped, coughing, and muttered, "Buffy, Willow. Xander. Knocked out. L- Locked in the closet. Demon needed blood of..." His eyes blurred. "Watcher." He looked at Wesley, as if seeing him for the first time. "Thank you."

And then he slumped against the wall, sliding down. Wesley rushed forward and lifted the unconscious man, carrying him to the couch, kicking the demon's head out of the way. He sighed heavily as Giles's eyes fluttered, and stared at the older man for a moment, before turning to see Cordelia and Angel letting the others out of the closet. Buffy was beginning to wake up,
but she seemed disoriented.

Wesley shook his head slowly.

So much for telling everyone their news.

* * * * * * * * *

Giles was sleeping. Angel was driving Buffy home, and Cordelia had accompanied Willow and Xander to their apartment upstairs. Wesley sat next to Giles, staring at him, and then looking at the wall, trying to sort out the strange panic that had come over him earlier. It was almost as though he had been obsessed.

He had long known that he cared deeply about the entire group that lived in Sunnydale. But he had never felt such a sheer, blind hysteria as when he saw Giles in danger. No, that was wrong. He had felt it once, two years ago, when Cordelia had been kidnapped. What did that mean?

He heard voices from outside, and walked over to the window, looking down and seeing Angel come up the walk, and Cordelia walk down the stairs. They greeted each other. He opened the window slightly, intending to call out to them, but their words stopped him.

"Are you going to tell him?"

Cordelia shook her head, her glossy hair falling in her eyes. "I just don't know if I'm supposed to, Angel. I mean, I had the vision for a reason, but maybe he's supposed to find out on his own."

Angel was perplexed. "How would he ever find out that Giles is his father if one of us doesn't tell him? Giles hasn't mentioned anything so far, he's probably not planning on it."

"I know," Cordelia sighed. "Maybe he's... Not supposed to know. Maybe he was just supposed to save Giles's life and be on his way."

Wesley stepped back from the window, his mouth opening slightly. His heart thudded in his chest, his breath was quick. The room spun around him for a moment, and he grabbed onto the back of a chair, steadying himself.

They were talking about him.

At that moment, Giles stirred, his eyes opening. He glanced at Wesley, who was pale and trembling. Wesley looked back at him, suddenly noticing the small similarities that had evaded him for years. Joy rushed through his veins, and then he regained his sense of balance, and calmed himself. His heart became cold at his command.

"Wesley," Giles said, his voice becoming stronger with each word, "Really, my boy. Thank you."

Wesley stared down at him, nodding slightly, his jaw locked.

"You're welcome. Father."


The End

Go on to the second part...For I Have Sinned


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