Title: Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails
Author: Gileswench

(notes and disclaimer with part one)

Willow closed yet another book with a sigh and a thump.

"Nothing. There's even more nothing in this one than there was in the last one."

"Give it up, Will," Xander said from where his head slumped against the table. "We got plenty of nothing, but that's all we have. We're never gonna fix this one."

Tara moaned as her book slid shut.

"I think I already read this one."

"If Giles doesn't become old again soon, does that mean I own the shop?" Anya asked. The others glared at her. "Hey, I'm just asking!"

Willow crossed the room and opened the door of the training room. She smiled softly at the sight presented to her.

Buffy sat on the sofa with little Giles stretched out asleep, his head in her lap. She stroked his hair as he slept. Willow moved to close the door and return to her original place at the tarot table until Buffy spoke quietly.

"Will? Would you come here a minute?"

The redhead closed the door softly and moved to her friends' side.

"Yeah, Buff?"

"You guys haven't found anything, right? To make Giles...Giles again?"

"No. But we're still looking. There could be something we just didn't find yet. We can't give up hope. There's been lots of times when we couldn't find anything for days or even weeks, but we've always found something in the end."

"I know." Buffy was quiet for a moment as she stroked the curly brown head in her lap. "I never knew he had curly hair. Not really. He must blow dry it like crazy to keep it straight. Why do you think he does that?"

"I dunno, Buff. Maybe he doesn't like it curly."

"And I never really noticed before how much he doesn't like walls and doors and stuff. I mean, he's a real private guy, but he doesn't even have a door on his bedroom. When I think of what I could have walked in on..."

"When? When could you have walked in on that?"

"Anytime really. But I guess I really came close once. That was how I found out about Olivia. I went to Giles for help and there she was in his kitchen in his shirt."

"When was that? You never said you, y'know, saw that."

"That whole thing with Sunday. Giles told me to go grow up and deal for myself and I spent months proving in the most childish and ineffectual way that I could. Or more like I couldn't. I was so mad at him. And at her. And now I think about what I could have walked in on...well, it makes me feel really weird."

"Yeah, that's a pretty wigsome thought," Willow agreed. "I mean, I know guys his age - his real age - do that and everything, but it's sorta like thinking about your parents doing it, y'know?"

Buffy glared at her friend.

"Thanks so much for bringing that aspect up. But that's not the part that's wigging me."

"So what is wigging you?"

Before Buffy could answer, little Giles stirred. He yawned widely and blinked his eyes open as he sat upright.

"Hey, guy," Buffy said. "Have a nice nap?"

"Yes," he replied rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Can I see the swords now?"

Willow's eyes widened.

"Buffy, you didn't say he could -"

"No, Will. We're not gonna fight. Even I know better than to arm a six year old boy with a real sharp thing. I just said I'd show them to him. I won't let him hold them or anything."

"Oh, okay, that's not nearly as alarming as I thought it was gonna be. So I guess I'll go back and keep looking for a way to get Giles back to being Giles."

Giles pursed his lips and glared from one girl to the other in a manner both recognized so perfectly as their Giles that they nearly burst out laughing.

"I wish you would stop calling me that," he told them. "My name is Rupert."

Buffy ruffled his hair.

"Cranky."

Pulling away sharply, Giles tried to smooth the unruly mop of curls.

"Looks like somebody doesn't want to look at the pirate swords, after all," Buffy began.

"No, please, I'll be good. I promise."

At the sight of Giles' genuine distress, Buffy relented.

"Alright, but no touching, okay? Hands behind your back."

Giles immediately obeyed. Willow grinned.

"Gee, Buff; you've got him better trained than he ever had you trained."

Buffy shrugged.

"I think it's an English thing. There's something in the water that makes them all stand quietly in line."

"Then you'd better watch out, or import some English water. Pretty soon, he'll be like an American kid."

"Just find a way to get him back to normal before that happens, okay?"

Willow giggled slightly as she left the room. Behind her she could hear Buffy carefully telling Giles the very things he had once told her about the construction and origin of the sword in her hands. Then she sighed.

Tara met her and pulled her close.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just...sometimes life is really unfair. I'm watching Buffy with Giles, kid Giles, and she's really great with him. She'd make a terrific mother, but she'll probably never get the chance."

"She is getting a chance. She's raising Dawn, and now she's taking care of Giles until we get him back to being a grown up. Maybe it's not the usual thing, but she's doing it. It seems to make her happy."

"It's funny how Giles likes her best even when he's a kid."

"Not so funny," Tara said. "They have to put a lot of trust in each other in their work. That kind of trust transcends almost anything."

"I guess you're right. Tara, is it bad of me to hope we don't figure out how to change Giles back too soon? He's just such a cute kid."

"Should I be jealous?"

"Nah. Not really. He's still a guy and I'm not into guys that way now, but..."

"But what?"

"He has the cutest little boy tushie."

The two witches laughed and kissed.

*********

It had taken Ethan more than an hour to find the precious slender phone book. While Giles never locked a door to save his life, he kept his secrets close to his chest. Any space he inhabited was certain to have some secret drawer, cupboard, or recess in which he carefully hid things of great import to him. Even the bloody high school library had nooks Ethan was certain the children never saw.

He'd finally discovered the false bottom in one of the desk drawers. Once it was located, it wasn't difficult to figure out how to spring the mechanism. Inside, there had been a few papers of the sort Giles obviously didn't care to share with his little class - stock certificates, a few hopelessly sentimental letters to the rotten tribe to be distributed if and when, a truly laughable excuse for a will, and this little notebook of phone numbers.

Ethan flipped the pages with a thrill of predatory delight. He remembered well the sort of bird Ripper had always managed to pick up. They were always classy, always drop-dead gorgeous, and always...imaginative. Certainly there would be someone well up to the Ripper standard in this book.

Picking a number at random, Ethan dialed.

*********

"Come on, Rupert," Buffy encouraged him.

The small boy stubbornly shook his head.

"I don't live here. I'm not meant to be here."

Buffy knelt before him and held his shoulders.

"Look, you can't be by yourself, and we don't know where your parents are. You like me, right?"

He nodded solemnly.

"Then it's okay. I like you, too, y'know. Besides, you can watch TV and I have a couple more pirate swords you can look at. Would you like that?"

"Real pirate swords?"

"As wielded by Long John Silver himself," Buffy assured him. Her face showed no trace of the amusement she felt at little Giles' obsession with pirates and swords. She decided that he hadn't really changed so very much after all.

Little Giles grinned dangerously.

"I'd like to see more pirate swords. Can I hold one?"

"May I. And no, you may not. But maybe you could watch a movie. Would you like that?"

His eyes lit up.

"We're going to the cinema?"

"No. I was thinking more VCR, sofa, Jiffy Pop...and you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, do you? Look, just trust me. We can watch movies at home. It'll be fun."

Buffy took the small, slightly sticky hand in her own and led Giles into her house. She cursed Xander mentally for giving Giles three candy bars over the course of the day. Sure, they'd kept him quiet for minutes at a time, but the hours of sugar high that followed had been wearing for the gang.

Now all the Slayer wanted was a couple hours hanging out followed by some nice, restful slayage.