- Untwisted Firey-Spoodge Organs!
by Sprook -8.09.04

  I would like to thank those of you who read the previous article and left feedback, I appreciate it. Now let's start with the latest developing HMC News.

(1) Twisties Untwisted: The longest thread at HMC devoted to "hellos and goodbyes" along with hints of twistedness and pregnancy. *watches readers faces, eyes bulge and color faint away* Yes that's right I said pregnancy. If you didn't already know the so called "HMC Angel", Sweet, had twins with Tony just a few months ago. Well, after Sweet consulted Dr. Sprook's help, advice, and testing things became very clear. . .crystal clear. Sweet was carrying another baby! Not after two months after giving birth to her gorgeous twins. . .only here is the shocker. Nobody knows that the baby isn't Tony's. No sir-ree-bob this sucker belongs to the eye drop orgasm having boy named NICK! Tony doesn't know however that the baby is not his. Nick refuses to admit to having and I quote "relations with that woman" while smoking a cigar. Where have we heard THAT before! After much discussing with Sweet while asking her why her dress has stains on it she finally broke and admitted that it was Nick's baby. She cheated on the twin's father, her fiancé, because he was out on business to secure a future for them. Test results have also shown that Sweet is pulling a Courtney Love and has been taking coke while pregnant. She is currently under going treatment. While Nick has been given crème for his herpes infection. Tony has taken custody of the twins and has settled on an island with his new love Sarah. And while he was on his "Island of Love" Sweet was photographed in many interesting postions with her new beau Nick. Tony was not available for comment but his lawyer said that he was quote "Not surprised by her actions, nor with Nick's backstabbing." In other wonderful news, it's the Twisties First Year together. So give them a big round of applause for spreading their twistedness throughout the board. Without them there wouldn't be illegal drinking, nudity, or Fat Tuffy lovers putting up with weird people setting fire to their home.

(2) The Second Soap Thread: Two unruly posters have taken a liking to creating mayhem in this soap opera. Miles and Mack have captured Danny's ghost-again-not-ghost-again body and his beloved Hippie. Set fire to both of them, stabbed Danny and removed many vital organs. So when you think of buying your Uncle Roary a new liver, because of his own liver collapsed due to overdosing on schnapps, think twice, it might be a poor French Canadian's liver you're purchasing illegally. *ahem* When asked why they simply say "because I can" and proceed to light reporters on fire. Also it has been linked that the fire in India's school house was no accident. They were the culprits, however they didn't mean for their prank to go that far. If you see these two you are asked to proceed with EXTREME caution, hand over your valuables and continue on your way, or else you too may be lit on fire and Smokey the Bear is not going to be able to help you.

(3) KinkBot Patrol: The oldest running thread at HMC with the most peculiar group of posters and happenings. Many people lurk in on this group of diverse people for either laughs, eye roll-age, or disgust while the role-playing goes on. However, More of the later I'm sure. However the most important developing news unfolding here would be the Second Annual KinkBot Awards and the announcement of the winners, including, Selz, Glow, and SPIKESMYGOD to name a few. However there is a rift between the posters when it comes to the highly anticipated world tour. The Spoodgapalooza Tour '04, was originally set for '03, and talks have already produced talks of it being pushed back to '05. SPIKESMYGOD has argued about being the "Arteast!" Lil Punkin demands the right to wear lycra and spandex, and glow demands her own closet with the monkey. There has also been a conflict in scheduling because everyone has gotten their own gigs: Glow having a Skittle contract, Selz over-spending kompany money on penthouses in Manhattan while doing NUDE photo sessions, and Spunky -n- Monkey spend money on tequila parties. Kinkiness is at a low, but the laughter is just as high as it has ever been. Keep an eye for this promising tour!

That's how the cookie crumbles folks, tune in next time for the latest news. . .where you hear it first!