Jayne: So like, never?
Book: Well, no.
Jayne: Not ever never?
Book: Some orders allow Shepherds to marry. But I follow a narrower path.
Jayne: But I mean, you've still got the urge. They don't...cut it off or nothing.
Book: No, I'm more or less intact. I just direct my energy elsewhere.
Jayne: You mean, like masturbating?
Book: I hope you're not thinking of taking orders yourself.

Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the minute. What will she do next?
Zoe: Either blow us up or rub soup in her hair. It's a toss-up.
Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.

Jayne: Let's move this conversation in a 'not Jayne's fault' direction.

Jayne: Anyone remember (River) coming at me with a knife?
Wash: Wacky times.

Jayne: Are you saying (River's) a witch?
Wash: Yes, Jayne, she's a witch. She's had congress with the Beast.
Jayne: She's in Congress?
Wash: How did your brain even learn human speech?

Wash: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
Zoe: You live on a spaceship, dear.

Jayne: I don't like the idea of someone hearing what I'm thinking.
Inara: No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking.

Jayne: If wishes were horses we'd all eat steak.

Early: Maybe I came down the chimney to give presents to good girls and boys, Kaylee. Or maybe not.

Simon: Are you Alliance?
Early: Am I a lion?
Simon: What?
Early: I don't think of myself as a lion. You might as well, though - I have a mighty roar.
Simon: Ummm, I said 'Alliance'.
Early: Oh. That's weird.

Simon: You're out of your mind.
Early: That's between me and my mind.

Early: Man is stronger than woman, but only woman can create a child. Does that seem right to you?

Early: Where'd (River) go?
Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a spaceship - don't look at me.

Early: You're all insane.
Simon: My sister's a ship. We had a fairly complicated childhood.

River: I know you have questions.
Mal: That's why I asked them.

Early: You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, (River) is the smallest cargo I've had to transport, and by far the most troublesome. Does that seem right to you?

Mal: You know, you ain't quite right.
River: It's a popular theory.

Wash: Can I mop your brow? I'm at ready with the fearsome mop brow.

Early: (last line of the episode, floating stranded in space) Yep, here I am.

Jubal: You ever been shot?
Simon: No.
Jubal: You oughta be shot. Or stabbed, lose a leg. To be a surgeon, you know? Know what kind of pain you're dealing with. They make psychiatrists get psychoanalyzed before they can get certified, but they don't make a surgeon get cut on. That seem right to you?