Simon: (about Jayne) You're like...a trained ape. Without the training.

Jayne: You guys had a riot on account of me? My very own riot?

Jayne: Do you think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?
Mal: You'd better laugh when you say that.

Simon: Does anybody here have a menu?
Bartender: A what?

Wash: (talking about Jayne's statue) I think they captured his essence.
Kaylee: It looks kind of angry.
Wash: That's what I meant.