Saffron: I don't please you?
Mal: You can't please me - you've never met me.

Book: If you take sexual advantage of her you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.
Mal: What...? I am not... preacher, you got a smutty mind!
Book: perhaps I spoke out of term. I apologize. I'll make her up a room on the passenger dorm.
Mal: Good
(departing)
Book: A special Hell.

Kaylee: Don't feel bad - he makes everybody cry. He's like a monster.
Mal: I am not a monster!

Wash: We'd always hoped you two'd get together. Who is she again?

Mal: How drunk was I last night?
Jayne: I don't know - I passed out.

Mal: You don't stand for that! Someone tries and kill you, you kill them right back.

Zoe: (to Wash) Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?

Mal: Can I come in?
Inara: No.
Mal: See, that's why I usually don't ask.

Mal: (to Jayne) Well, my days of taking you seriously are coming to a middle.

Saffron: You're a good man.
Mal: You clearly haven't been talking to anyone else on this boat.

Wash: I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not married, somebody not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinky.

Saffron: Would you lie with me?
Inara: I think we've lied enough.
Saffron: You're good.
Inara: Who are you?
Saffron: Malcolm Reynold's widow.

Mal: What was she after?
Book: Besides molesting innocent captains?

Wash: Okay, everybody else not talking about sex, in here. Everyone else, out there.

Jayne: (about Book) One day you're going to tell us how a preacher knows so much about crime.

Saffron: Are you going to kill me?
Mal: Can you give me a terribly compelling reason not to?

Mal: I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.

Mal: I wasn't looking for a fight! (Jayne confronts him with a really big gun) I always seem to find one, though.