(sign over holographic pool table)
Management Not Responsible for Ball Failure

Zoe: Planet's coming up too fast.
Wash: That's just cause I'm going down so quick. Likely I'd crash and kill us all.
Mal: If that happens, let me know.

Wash: What am I looking at - the girls or the clothes?
Jayne: The girls.
Zoe: The clothes, please.

Zoe: If I'm going to wear a dress, I want one with some slink.
Wash: You want a slinky dress, I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?
Jayne: I'll chip in.

Jayne: (drinking tea) This ain't bad.
Badger: There's a trick to it. Wood alcohol.
Mal: So now we're favored guests, treated to beverages that make you blind.

Kaylee: Is that him?
Mal: That's the buffet table.
Kaylee: How will we know unless we question it?
Mal: Just don't make yourself sick.

Harrow: I know (Badger). And I think he's a psychotic lowlife.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community.

Mal: I may be a smuggler, but it's a honest job.
Inara: What?!?

Atherton: I accept.
Mal: That's great! What?!?

Kaylee: Up until the punching it was a real nice party.

Mal: I never back down from a fight.
Inara: Yes you do. You do all the time.
Mal: Well...yeah, but not this one.

Jayne: What we need is a diversion. I say Zoe gets naked.
Wash: No!
Jayne: I could get naked...?
Wash and Zoe: No!

Mal: Mercy is the mark of a great man. (spares Atherton) I guess I'm just a good man. (pokes Atherton with his sword) Well, I'm alright.

Inara: (to Atherton) That's not how it works. You see, you've earned yourself a black mark in the Client Registry. No Companion is ever going to contract with you ever again.
Harrow: You'll have to rely on your winning personality to get woman. God help you.

Jayne: We was just about to spring into action, Captain. Complicated escape and rescue op.
Wash: Very exciting. I was going to watch.

Inara: I am grateful, you know, for the ill-conceived and high-handed attempt to defend my honor although I didn't want you to.
Mal: Gracious as that is...

Inara: As with other situations, the key seems to be giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back.

Wash: Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower. Somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross.

Gentleman: What a lovely dress. It must have taken a dozen slaves a dozen days to get you into it. Of course, your daddy tells me it takes the space of a schoolboy's wink to get you out of it again.