BtVS Quotes


The Killer In Me

(B=Buffy, X-Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, D=Dawn, A=Anya, Aw=Andrew, K=Kennedy, G=Giles)



G: Oh, Dawn, Vi's left her notebook on the mantelpiece. Would you mind running it out to the car?
D: Sure.
G: While you're at it, you smack her in the head with it and remind her not to leave it lying around.
D: On it.

G: Do you think they appreciate the gravity of what we're undertaking? It's frightening, and it's difficult. And then, apparently, someone told them that the vision quest consists of me driving them to the desert, doing the hokey pokey until a spooky Rasta-mama slayer arrives and speaks to them in riddles.
B: That's not exactly how I put it, I...

W: She says she wants you to meditate extra hard for her and to bring her back some smores.
G: Ah yes. Smores. I'm going to end up singing campfire songs aren't I?
B: Oh yeah.

X: Giles, you might want to get out there.
G: Oh, God, what?
D: Molly and Rona are fighting over who gets to drive the first leg.
B: Bet you wish you renewed that California state driver's license now, huh?

A: Rona won. You should probably let Molly out of the trunk. I never actually realized just how compact Molly really is.

S: Give us all a chance for a breather, eh?
B: From Giles?
S: From the constant pitter patter of clomping teenage girly feet.

B: I enjoy my responsibility as mentor, role model, life guide...oh, my God, I cannot believe I have my bathroom all to myself for two whole days.

S: Buffy...
B: What?
S: Ow.
B: Ow?

B: Will, how much do you know about the chip?
W: Spike's chip? Well, I remember trying to dig up stuff back then, but, you know, turns out, when a secret government agency studies vampires and puts chips in their brains that keep them from hurting people, they don't really build websites.

B: Remember when things used to be nice and boring?
W: No.

B: Have fun...delivering tea...
W: OK, not when you make it sound all dirty like that. It's just tea.

W: For someone who's sick, you look surprisingly robust and casual dressy.

W: What you think you have some special lesbidar or something?

B: Well, we'll fix it. We'll hit serious research mode...
S: Good. Try Behavioral Modification Software Throughout the Ages.

B: OK. You're right. Not a book thing. It's a phone thing.
S: Who you gonna call? God, that phrase is never gonna be useable again, is it?
B: Doubt it.

B: (on the phone) Oh, is this actually a flower shop, or is this one of those things where I'm supposed to play along to show that I know it's really secret ops? Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Oh, OK, right. Well, if some guy named Finn shows up to buy flowers...

W: I just...I still don't get it. Why you like me. I mean, you don't even know me.
K: Have you seen you? And we like the same things...Italian, skate punk, Robert Parker mysteries, fighting evil...
W: I don't like any of that stuff. Except the‹the fighting evil part. Even then, I prefer a nice foot massage.

Aw: Your promises of happy fields and dancing schnauzers and being demigods won't work on me anymore.

W/W: I'm Willow.
X: Are you sure?
W/W: There are other stories from kindergarten. Non yellow crayon stories in which you don't come out in such a good light. An incident involving Aquaman underoos, for example. You want me to start talking?
X: Hey, Willow!

Aw: Oh good. Let me just get some tapes for the car. I've been working on this mix...
X: You're not coming.
Aw: What? Why? 'Cause I used to be evil?
X: No, actually, 'cause you're annoying, but that's a good reason too.

Aw: OK, well, if you leave me here alone, I'll do something evil, like burning something or gluing things together.

W/W: Oh, hey. I'm sorry...Willow. We actually met when I was a Freshman. And also not a boy.

W/W: Wow, look at you guys. Campus Wiccans. Guess you got past the whole bake sale phase.
Vaughne: Uh, no, we still do that too. Second Tuesday of every month.

A: Which means we're already too late, and we're heading out to the middle of nowhere.
D: With no slayer, no powerful witch...
A: Just a teenager, a powerful former demon, and two big geeks.

Aw: OK, license plate game, maybe?

X: Touch him. Touch him.
D: Oh, I feel him. I feel him.
X: Me too.
Aw: Me too.
G: We all feel each other. Including some of us who don't know each other well enough to take such liberties, thank you. *Looks at Andrew*

G: Now wait a minute...you think I'm evil...if I bring a group of girls on a camping trip and don't touch them?

Soldier: Miss Summers. Agent Finn reported that you tried to contact him earlier today.
B: I knew it! Government conspiracy.

Soldier: We're to provide you anything you need to help assface here. Those were his exact words, ma'am.

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