BtVS Quotes

(B=Buffy, X-Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, D=Dawn, A=Anya, G=Giles, Aw=Andrew)

B: Try picking on someone my own size.

Rona: You're her!
B: Her is me.

B: Next time you're attacked...
Rona: Whoa, whoa...next time? You saying I'm gonna get attacked again?
B: Welcome to the hellmouth.

W: I'm OK. I just, I like it down here. It's firm.
Kennedy: Funny, you look a little uncomfortable. Or... is it just me?

Kennedy: Her bedroom was in another wing of the house.
W: Wing? Your house had wings?
Kennedy: Yeah. Just a couple. A few. Our summer home in the Hamptons didn't have any at all. Well, one, actually.
W: Huh. Well, that's, that's ... huh.

Kennedy: What's your story, Willow, I mean, witchcraft? Wow, that sounds new-agey.
W: No, it's safe to say that what I practice is definitely old-agey.

X: Maybe we can save the maybes for a more dayish part of the day, girls. Potential slayers can function without sleep. Me, I'm no good without my usual 90 minutes.

Aw: I'm bored. Episode I bored.

Rona: Um...why is that guy tied to a chair?
X: The question you'll soon be asking is, "Why isn't he gagged?"

Molly: I'm a bit peckish meself.
Rona: Bit what as well?
A: That's English for "hungry."
Rona: Oh, here I thought "hungry" was English for "hungry."

A: Tried to dig up anything useful from the demon community.
X: They're a community now? What's next, the Ladies' Auxiliary?

B: It's complicated, Chloe.
Chloe: I'm Chloe, she's Eve.

G: Beljoxa's Eye.
X: And exactly what part of town is that avenue in?

B: What is Botox's eye?
G: Beljoxa's Eye.

G: You're still friends in the fold. Murderous acquaintances, anyway.

S: She will come for me. She will come for me. She will come for me.

Torg: You broke my heart, Anyanka.
A: Don't be so dramatic, Torg. You don't even have a heart. Six spleens, two stomachs, half a brain maybe, but no heart.

Torg: I remember, you wore pink.
A: Those were entrails.

Torg: Ugh, please, you're human. The way you look now, I wouldn't touch you for all the kittens in Korea.

A: You're rejecting my offer of sexual bribery? What am I, a leper in this town? I can't even give it away!

Torg: Come back when you are a leper.

A: It's the hair, right? Not attractive?

Aw: Ow! Watch it! That's my joystick hand.
X: I'm not gonna touch that one.

B: I don't exactly know what to do with you, except that we don't have time to babysit a hostage.
X: Especially a hostage that's gotten more than a little ripe.

B: So, I'm here to tell you, if you try anything, try to run...Did you ever see the movie Misery?
Aw: Six times. But the book was scarier than the movie 'cause instead of crushing his foot with a sledge hammer, Kathy Bates chops it off with...I'll be good.

B: The clerk said it's the only check-in they've had in a week. Tourism must be down.
X: Right in the middle of apocalypse season.

B: It's OK. We're friendly. And we have eyes.

Aw: I think a guy slayer would be badass. Like...like if there was this ninja, a guy slayer would be like, "you may be silent, but this'll shut you up." Hiya.

Aw: And also, why's she so about saving Spike? He's a worse killer than me by... a way lot.

Aw: I used to be an evil genius. Hello?
D: And what was your genius thing?
Aw: Well, um, raising demons mostly. OK, so, not for now, but also there was planning. There were, um, blueprints. I can be in this, kicking it righteous.

D: Buffy said if you talked enough, I'm allowed to kill you.
Aw: Not even.
D: Even.

Aw: License to kill, huh? Pretty cool. You know, Timothy Dalton never got his props 'cause he came in at the end of an old regime, but he had it goin' on. He went rogue with the Broccolis. They were just treading water, stylistically.
D: Is there a language that you're speaking?

Aw: Do you wanna play "Kevin Bacon"?

Aw: I need to go wash up again.

Beljoxa's Eye: It cannot be fought, it cannot be killed. The First Evil has been and always will be. Since before the universe was born, long after there is nothing else, it will go on.
G: I refuse to believe that. There must be some way to destroy it.
Beljoxa's Eye: What, am I talking to myself here? There's no way.

Beljoxa's Eye: The eye sees not the future, only the truth of the now and before.
A: Yes, we've all got that...it's called memory.

Beljoxa's Eye: The mystical forces surrounding the chosen line have become irrevocably altered, become unstable, vulnerable.
A: Something The First did?
Beljoxa's Eye: The First Evil did not cause the disruption, only seized upon it to extinguish the lives of the chosen forever.
G: Then what has caused the disruption? What...what is responsible for letting this happen?
Beljoxa's Eye: The slayer.

B: In the mean time, we need to stick together. OK, we're stronger that way. We cannot afford to fall apart now.
Aw: She's right. Where would the Justice League have been if they hadn't put their differences aside to stop the Imperium and his shape-shifting alien horde?
B: Don't help me.

W: Facing my fear. I'm facing my fear. Hear that, Fear? I'm facing you.

Kennedy: Oh, right. Heard this voodoo once turned you into the big scary. Big, scary Willow...that's something I'd almost like to see...
W: No, you wouldn't.
Kennedy: I said "almost."

W: Last time I tried using magic, The First...it turned it around on me. Got inside. I felt it just surging through me, every fiber of my being. Pure, undiluted evil. I could taste it.
Kennedy: How's evil taste?
W: A little chalky.

Aw: Um, deflector shields...deflector shields up!

G: It's not because she died. The Beljoxa's Eye was quite clear about that in its enigmatic way. It's because she lives. Again. Buffy's not responsible for that.
A: Oh. Oh. Willow and me and Xander and Tara. We're the ones who brought Buffy back. We're...we're the reason The First is here, the reason those girls were murdered. No, it's our fault. The world would've been better off if Buffy had just stayed dead.

Aw: I'm moving. Climbing's not my thing. I got a inner ear condition.
X: Is falling your thing? 'Cause if you don't pick up the pace, I'm gonna come up there and drop your ass.
Aw: Way to keep up morale in a crisis. No wonder Buffy's the leader.

W: Just watch. It's show time.

B: I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about. And right now, you and me are gonna show 'em why. It's time. Welcome to Thunderdome.
Aw: Two men enter. One man leaves.

B: See? Dust. Just like the rest of 'em. I don't know what's coming next, but I do know it's gonna be just like this. Hard. Painful. But in the end it's gonna be us. If we all do our parts, believe it, we'll be the ones left standing. Here endeth the lesson.