BtVS Quotes

(B=Buffy, X-Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, D=Dawn, A=Anya, G=Giles, PW=Principal Wood)

X: It's a loop...like the Mummy Hand. I'm doomed to replace these windows for all eternity. You know, maybe we should just board these up until things are less hellmouth-y.

B: It claimed to be the original evil, the one that came before anything else.
A: Please, how many times have I heard that line in my demon days? "I'm so rotten, they don't even have a word for it. I'm bad. Baddy bad bad bad. Does it make you horny?" Or terrified. Whatever.

X: I wish Sleeping Ugly would come to. He's been out all night.
A: Yes, he was just starting to squeal when the spooky SWAT attacked.

W: Hey! Here, The First!...Bank of Delaware. Sorry.

B: Mom? You're not real.
Joyce: OK, is that, uh, slang, like you're not for real, or...?

FE!Drusilla: Kick a dolly when he's down. That was always your style.

FE!Drusilla: Little girls tear so easily, like pink paper. 'Til then, we'll have our way with this one. Got it coming, he does.

A: That was something.
D: Maybe if you threw hot water on him...?
A: Good thinking.

D: Oh! Look who's awake.
A: Silly Andrew, *tap slap*...you drooled all over yourself.

Andrew: I'm...I was about to be dead. You saved me.
B: For the time being. But if you don't tell us what we need to know, then I'm gonna offer you to The First on a platter and let him chop you into tiny pieces.
Andrew: The first what?
A: The name of the evil thing that pretended to be Warren to get you to kill Jonathan.
Andrew: Oh, not very ominous sounding.
D: No, it is if you understand the context.
Andrew: No, an evil name should be like Lex or Voldemort or...
B: Hey, I was intimidating here.
Andrew: Oh, sorry. Um, go ahead.

D: There's blood on this...lots. Looks like the first made another sacrifice. Or a music video.

X: Thanks for clearing that up 'cause otherwise we might've thought you were up to no good here at the satanic manhole cover. You killed your best friend!

Andrew: Man, this place gives me the creeps. It's like in Wonder Woman, issue 297-299...
X:"Catacombs"‹yeah with the skeletons.
Andrew & X: That was cool.
X: Move it! This way.

PW: Hey. I..thought that you were, um...
D: Sick? She was. Oh, vomiting and oozing from various places and...
PW: Yeah, I remember, so please don't go on.

D: Hello people of the future. Kids of today like Red Bull and, uh, Jackass.

W: (possessed by the spirit of the First): You only make me stronger!

G: Sorry to barge in. We have a slight apocalypse.

D: They're all slayers?
G: Potential slayers. Waiting for one to be called. There were many more like them all over the world, but, um, now there's just a handful, and they're all on their way to Sunnydale.

B: The First. That's what it wants.
G: Yes, to erase all the slayers in training and their watchers along with their methods.
B: And then Faith, and then me. And with all the potentials gone and no way of making another, it's the end. No more slayer. Ever.

A: What about the Council? What do they say about this?
G: Gone.
W: What?
G: Obliterated. They were in session, and, uh, there was an explosion.

A: And you blew the Council up! See, this is what happens when you're all stuffy and repressed. You overreact.

G: The knowledge contained in these files had to be protected, and there wasn't time for-for bureaucracy or debate. The Council knows no other way.
Andrew: And it cost them their lives! Go on.

B: Can we gag him?

Kennedy: Those freaks in the black robes.
Molly: Yeah, with the hoodies and the crazy alphabet eyes.

G: How to defeat it...I...I...honestly I don't know. But we have to find a way. If the slayer line is eliminated, then the hell mouth has no guardian. The balance is destroyed. I'm afraid it falls to you, Buffy. Sorry. I mean, we'll do what we can, but you're the only one who has the strength to protect these girls - and the world ‹ against what's coming.
X: But no pressure.

B: We need more muscle. That's why we need to find Spike.
A: Yeah, he'll help. You know, if he's not crazy or off killing people ...or dead. Or...you know, all of the above.

B: Giles, this is bad, isn't it? A new kind of bad.
G: Just in time for Christmas.
B: You know, I didn't even realize it was December. Maybe when we get home, we should decorate the rubble.

B: Think you'll ever show up for a real visit? The kind where the world isn't about to end?
G: If we survive this, I promise.
B: Good. 'Cause I miss you.
G: I miss you too.

Andrew: So, how long have you followed Buffy?
X: I don't follow her. She's my best friend.
Andrew: Huh. She seems like a good leader. Her hair is shiny. Does she make you stab things?

W: You wanna do the sleeping arrangements?
Kennedy: OK. You, uh, better not hog the covers.

D: Does she want to eat?
W: What? Huh? Oh, she's...Oh, she's new.

G: Yes, Buffy, but don't you think we should, uh, discuss this privately?
B: You mean, not in front of the next generation? No time to coddle them, Giles. Welcome to the war room, guys.

G: It was a Turok-Han. As Neanderthals are to human beings, the Turok-Han are to vampires. Primordial, ferociously powerful killing machines, as single-minded as animals. They are the vampires that vampires fear. An ancient and entirely different race and, until this morning, I thought they were a myth.

B: Maybe The First isn't ready for modern technology. Displaying results 1 through 10 of 900,517. OK, I gotta narrow this down.

B: And what can I say, I just love those evil, evil movies. Like Exorcist, you know, Blair Witch...
PW: Hmmm...as opposed to Rob Schneider's Oeuvre.
B: Different kind of evil.

B: What kind of movies do you like?
PW: Oh, me? Mysteries. I love finding out what's underneath it all at the very end.

S: You're not Drusilla.
FE!Drusilla: No, I'm really not.
S: She was crazier than you.

S: Dru, luv...
FE!Drusilla: Hmmm...?
S: Get bent.
FE!Drusilla: Stupid, stubborn daddy.

Joyce: Are you worried about the sun going down? Because there's some things you can't control. The sun always goes down, the sun always comes up.

B: Something evil is coming.
Joyce: Buffy, evil isn't coming, it's already here. Evil is always here. Don't you know? It's everywhere.
B: And I have to stop it.

B: No. No, no, no. I'm different. I'm hip. I relate to the young people.

X: Hey, junior slayers, don't look so worried. I mean, sure, we don't know where Spike is, or how to fight The First, or if and when the super style vampire is gonna attack us all. However, house - boarded up. No all we gotta do is trap this UberVamp in a pantry, and it's game over.
W: Xander...newbies. Let's ease them in to the whole "jokes in the face of death" thing.
X: Who's joking? That pantry thing could work. Are you saying M. Night Shamalayan lied to us?

W: Um, Buffy, I just...I want you to know that I'm really sorry for letting you down. You know, here before with the magic going all aahhh and me going all eeee and everything getting all eerrrr.
Andrew: Listen to me, man, I've got a bad feeling about this.
X: Of course you've got a bad feeling, dude. You're...you're tied to a chair.
Andrew: No. Yeah, but above and beyond that. I'm telling you that my spider-sense is tingling. This is gonna get hairy. I'm talking weird with a beard. Better untie me.

Andrew: OK, I know what you're thinking. Andrew, bad guy. You think I'm a super-villain like Dr. Doom or Apocalypse or...or The Riddler. But I admit I went over to the dark side, but just to pick up a few things, and now I'm back. I've learned. I'm good again.
B: And when were you good before?
Andrew: OK, technically, never. Touché. But I'm like Vader in the last 5 minutes of Jedi with redemptive powers minus a redemptive struggle of epic redemption which chronicles... These ropes itch.

S: Give it up. Whatever you are, whatever you get away with, I'm out. You can't pull this puppet's strings anymore.
FE!Drusilla: And what makes you think you have a choice? What makes you think you will ever be any good at all in this world?
S: She does. Because she believes in me.

G: The First predates everything we've ever known, or can know. It's everywhere. It's pure. I don't know if we can fight it.
B: You're right. We don't know how to fight it. We don't know when it'll come. We can't run, can't hide, can't pretend it's not the end, 'cause it is. Something's always been there to try and destroy the world. We've beaten them back, but we're not dealing with them anymore. We're dealing with the reason they exist. Evil. The strongest. The First.
G: Buffy, I...I...I know you're tired.
B: I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of hell, and it is gonna swallow me whole. And it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Oh, we'll give 'em one. Anyone else who wants to run, do it now...'Cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on, we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them, and cut out their hearts one by one, until The First shows itself for what it really is...and I'll kill it myself. There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil, and that's us. Any questions?