BtVS Quotes

(B=Buffy, X-Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, D=Dawn, A=Anya, G=Giles)

"B" & "S" = Morphy as Buffy or Spike.

X: Sweet mamalooshin. Who is it?

W: It's the Big Bad, Dawn. The one we knew was coming.

X: Why would a vampire lie about who sired him. What's that? Some kind of status symbol for the undead. My sire can beat up your sire.

X: OK, let's look at this objectively. Figure it out in a cold, impersonal, CSI-like manner 'cause we're a couple of carpet fibers away from a case.

B: There's something. I...I can feel it. He's different. He's changed. And, if it is an act, then the Oscar goes to...

A: Uh-uh. Forget it, Harris.
X: Come on, Anya. You said you'd do it on the phone.
A: Yeah, but that...That was before you told me Spike's killing again, and now you want me to be alone with him?
X: You didn't mind being alone with him before.
A: What was that?
X: Nothing. Look, we don't actually know that he's killed anyone. You know, lately. Might all just be a mistake.
A: Yeah, but you don't think so. OK, have you searched his room for clues? Trophies from victims? Killers like to keep trophies sometimes. Scalps,
necklaces made from human teeth.
X: You know, it didn't occur to me to look, but thanks for the tip.

X: You're gonna be fine.
A: Better be, because if I get vamped, I'm gonna bite your ass.
X: Wouldn't be the first time.
A: What was that?

S: Anya, do be specific and tell a fellow just exactly what you're doing here.
A: Well, Spike... I'm here, obviously... for...um...sex.
S: Uh, beg pardon.
A: You and me. Here and now. Let's go. Let's... get it on, you big bad boy.
S: Wait, wait, Anya. Just a minute. This is not exactly...is that a stake?
A: Yes. Kinky.
S: Uh, well, yeah, but what do you...?
A: Shhhh. No questions. No talking. I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about you and us and our brief but unforgettable time together. I mean,
it's...why else would I be here? I mean, it's not like I'm snooping around looking for proof that you're some sort of wacked out serial killer. *laughs* I don't know why I said that. Forget I said that. It's craziness talking. It's just nerves. Nerves. Nerves and...and horniness. Oh, just shut up, William, and take me. Take me now.

A: I got it. No problem, I understand. You think I'm fat.
S: What?
A: Well, it's either that or the haircut.
S: Ridiculous. The do's quite fetching.
A: Oh, right. Now you like the haircut.
S: Love it.
A: Sure, as a friend.

A: You know, you were a lot more fun when you didn't have a soul.

A: All I'm saying is soulless Spike would have had me upside down and half way to happy land by now.
S: I need my pants.

"B": You know you want it. You know I want you to.

"B": *smiles* There's my guy.

"S": How could you use a poor maiden so?

S: No, not the chip! Not the chip, dammit. You honestly think I'd go to the end of the underworld and back to get my soul and then...Buffy, I can barely live with what I did. It haunts me. All of it. If you think that I would add to the body count now, you are crazy.
B: So, what...you just troll the Promenade looking for drunk co-eds cause you're hungry for conversation?

B: This vampire I killed told me—
S: Told you what? That I go out? Yeah, I talk to people. Women. Talk to them 'cause I can't talk to you.
B: Oh, Spike, save it.
S: As daft a notion as "Soulful Spike the Killer" is, it is nothing compared to the idea that another girl could mean anything to me. This chip...they did to me. I couldn't help it. But the soul, I got on my own...for you.
B: I know.
S: So, yeah. I go and pass the time... with someone. But that's all it is is time, 'cause - God, help me, Buffy...it's still all about you.

W: Well, just because those weren't the spirits of, you know, our people...just because it was some evil thing, doesn't mean what they said can't be true.
A: I used to tell the truth all the time when I was evil.

A: Well, if Spike is biting people again, should there be more dead people with neck trauma? Right? We can find that.
W: No.
A: No, we can't find that? But that's easy. That computer's a moron.

Vampire Woman: (To Spike) Is that all I was to you...a one-bite stand?

B: Oh, uh, actually, I need some help. I'm looking for this guy. Bleach-blonde hair, leather jacket, British accent? Kind of shallow, but in a hot way?
Bouncer: Yeah, yeah, I know the guy. Billy Idol wannabe?
B: Actually, Billy Idol stole his look from...never mind. Has he been here?

Bouncer: Yeah, he comes in here a lot lately. Every night leaves with a different girl. Chicks like Billy Idol.

Aimee Mann: Man, I hate playing vampire towns.

"S": Early one morning, just as the sun was rising, I heard the fair maid sing in the valley down below. Oh, don't deceive me. Oh never leave me. How could you use a poor maid so?

B: Sorry, ma'am, but it's my job. *stakes an older woman vampire*

S: Oh, God, no, please. I need that. I can't cry the soul out of me. It won't come. I killed, and I can feel 'em. I can feel every one of them.

X: Oh, an out of control serial killer. You're right, that is a great houseguest.

B: Look, there's something evil working us, and if we are ever gonna have a chance to fight it, we need to learn everything we can about it. This thing has been closer to Spike than any of us.
W: And if you want to understand it....
B: I'm gonna have to get close to Spike.
X: Nah, it's too dangerous.
B: I don't have a choice. Whatever this thing is, from beneath us, it's bad, and it's only getting worse.

Robson: Gather them. It's started.
Giles: It's all right. I understand. I'll take care of it...
*Robed man with an axe swings at Giles*