BtVS Quotes

(B=Buffy, W=Willow, D=Dawn)

*note from Buffy*: Will and I are out until late. Here's money for the store. NO PIZZA! Love you, Buffy.

B: Here we go.

Jonathon: Last time we were here 33.3% of us were flayed alive.

Andrew: Everyone spoke Mexicoan.

*Jonathon mumbles something in Klingon*
Andrew: It eats you starting with your bottom.

D: Anchovies, Anchovies, yummy and delicious, I love you more than all the other fishes!

*spill*
D: Oh.... ah... she'll think it's blood.

*swinging an axe*
D:Taste my blood, spawn of evil!

"Cassie": I knew that this would completely freak you out, it's just... she asked that I come talk to you, it's important.

"Cassie": She says she still sings.
W: What?
"Cassie": Remember that time on the bridge when you sang to each other? Well, she says even though you can't hear it, she still sings to you.
W: Tara?

Holden Webster: Oh, uh. Webs? Holden Webster. We went to school together. European History. I let you crib off my Vaclav Havel essay. YouÑyou really don't remember me?
B: Sure! Sure.

Holden: Hey, you remember Jason Wheeler, you know, "Crazy J"?
B: Oh, yeah.
Holden: He always had that shtick of (waves hands around) "Yeah, I'm crazy, I'm crazy."
B: How is he?
Holden: Crazy. He's been in the chronic ward since graduation. Not really that funny, I guess.

Holden Webster: Did my face just change?

Holden: No, no. Feels great. Strong. Like I'm connected to a powerful all-consuming evil that's gonna suck the world into a firey oblivion. How 'bout you?
B: Not so much connected.
Holden: No, no. I mean, with the stake and the crossÑyou do this kind of thing a lot?
B: I'm the slayer. It's sort of a thing.

Holden: A lot of kids thought you were dating some really old guy, or that you were just heavy religious. Scott Hope said you were gay.
B: What? I dated that ringworm.
Holden: He says that about every girl he breaks up with. And then last year, big surprise, he comes out.

Holden: So, all that time, you were a slayer?
B: The.
Holden: "The", like as in "the only one"?
B: Pretty much.
Holden: Oh. So, when you said not connected, that was kind of a telling statement, wasn't it...?
B: Ah, Psych 101 alert.

B: Yeah, what I really need is emotional therapy from the evil dead.

D: Once for yes, twice for no.
D: Mom?
*THUD*
D: It's you?
*THUD*
D: Are you ok?
*THUD THUD*
D: You're not alone. Mom. Mommy? Are you alone?
*THUD THUD*

Jonathan: Get up you wuss!
Andrew: I have shin splints.

Andrew: Think, McFly. Why would she believe us without any proof? We go to her empty-handed, and we'll be coolin' our heels in the clink in a Bell's microsecond.
Jonathon: I ain't goin' back to the big house. That place changes a man.

Andrew: We find it. We alert the slayer. We help her destroy it. We save Sunnydale. Then we join her gang and possibly hang out at her house.

Jonathon: Echo 2 to Echo 1.
Andrew: This is Echo 1, go ahead.
Jonathon: Do you really think they'll let us join their gang?

Andrew: You keep leaving. I hate it when you keep leaving me. One time you died and I ended up a Mexican.

Andrew: That boy is our last hope...
Warren: ... No, there is another.
Andrew: Really? who's our last hope?
Warren: No, there isn't one. I was just going with it. It was a thing. He is our last hope.

W: Tara... Tara I miss you...

B: My parents weren't exactly the paragon of stay-togetherey-ness.

B: I commit. I'm committed. I'm a committee.

Holden: You know, my girlfriend at college, she's so sweet. We have this great thing, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna go vampify her just so we can be together forever.
B: Sire.
Holden: What?
B: The wordÑwhen you turn a human into a vampireÑit's you "sire" them.
Holden: Cool.
B: It's a noun too.

Holden: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if we became Nemisies?
B: Is THAT how you say the word?

Holden: Hey, I don't mean to be Count Buttinsky here, but you just don't seem as thrilled. Is it because we're gonna fight?
B: It's cause I'm gonna win.
Holden: Hello. Two years of Tae Kwon Do and vampire strength. I think somebody's counting their chickens.

Holden: Buffy, I'm here to kill you, not to judge you.

D: She's my mother... I'm staying.

Andrew: Everything's shifting around. I feel like we're in Hellraiser. I hate Pinhead.

Holden: OK, but are you going to kill me because I'm evil, or because you opened up?

Holden: The biggest thing on my mind is whether or not Tricia Waldman came to my funeral or not. Do you remember her? Oh...biteable.

Holden: Oh, my God!
B: Oh, your God what?
Holden: Oh, well, you know, not my God, because I defy him and all of his works, but...Does he exist? Is there word on that, by the way?
B: Nothing solid.

W: I am the power. It's in me. Did I mention the random destruction of property? The Magic Box is not so much a box now...

"Cassie": She says...
W: What?
"Cassie": You're not gonna be OK. You're gonna kill everybody.

Jonathon: 36-19-27! That's it! That was my locker combination. God, it's been bugging me all night.

Jonathon: I really miss it. Time goes by, and everything drops away. All the cruelty, all the pain, all that humiliation. It all washes away.

Jonathon: I miss my friends. I miss my enemies. I miss the people I talked to every day. I miss the people who never knew I existed. I miss 'em all. I want to talk to them, you know. I want to find out how they're doing. I want to know what's going on in their lives.
Andrew: You know what? They don't wanna talk to youÑall those people you just mentioned. Not one of them is sitting around going, "I wonder what Jonathan's up to right now." Not one of them cares about you.
Jonathon: Well, I still care about them. That's why I'm here.

B: I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly, I'm beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I'm not worthy of their love. 'Cause even though they love me, it doesn't mean anything 'cause their opinions don't matter. They don't know. They haven't been through what I've been through. They're not the slayer. I am. Sometimes I feel...this is awful...I feel like I'm better than them. Superior.
Holden: Until you can't win. And I thought I was diabolical...or, at least I plan to be. You do have a superiority complex. And you've got an inferiority complex about it. Kudos.

B: That's insane troll logic.

D: I cast you out with every prayer from every god that walked the Earth and crawled beneath. *thrown across the room* I cast you out with the strength of those who love me. I cast your out with the strength I have inside me! I cast you out into the void. *throws bowl* That's right! Die, you bastard!

"Cassie": So go. Be with her. Everybody will be safe, and you'll be together again. It's not that bad. Really. It's just like going to sleep.
W: Who are you?

B: How do you know Spike?
Holden: What do you mean how? He was the guy who...what's the word?"
B: Sired?
Holden: Yeah...he was the guy that sired me.

Joyce: Things are coming, Dawn, things are on their way. Listen, I love you and I love Buffy, but she won't be there for you.
D: What? Why are you...?
Joyce: When it's bad, Buffy won't choose you. She'll be against you.

"Cassie": Suicide thing was too far, huh? Hmm. You seemed so ripe.
W: Tell me who you are.
"Cassie": I stand by my opinion. The world would be a better place if you took a razorblade to your wrist...
W: Stop.
"Cassie": I can see it now. (stands) Candlelight, the Indigo Girls playing, picture of your dead girlfriend on your bloody lap.
W: Stop it!
"Cassie" *mocking* Oh, baby, you left such a big hole. It hurt so bad. You don't know hurt. This last year's gonna seem like cake after what I put you and your friends through, and I am not a fan of easy death. Fact is, the whole good-versus-evil, balancing the scales thing...I'm over it. I'm done with the mortal coil. But believe me, I'm going for a big finish.
W: From beneath you, it devours.
"Cassie": Oh, not it. Me.