X: You're gonna live in the small room over there. I know it looks like a closet, but it's a room now. You can not touch my food, I take the first shower in the morning, and if I use up all the hot water that's your tough noogies.

B: Invitation?
X: Is there anything more emphatic than "hate"?

X: Fine. I invite you in...nimrod.
S: I don't want your sodding food anyway.

B: It's just things are different now. He has a soul.
X: I'm sure that'll be a real comfort when he soulfully attacks you again.

B: You've been out of the basement for half an hour and you've already stopped talking to invisible people.
S: Bullocks.
B: Ok, so there was that one episode in the car, but...

D: Is sitting there drinking soda some kind of a zen non-answer?

B: I think I can't stand him, but then sometimes...
D: You love him?
B: No. I feel for him.

A: Well, thank you for the generous life saving. Now please go away.

A: Willow's not very good with the practical strategizing, except when she's evil. And Dawn... she's not very good at anything.

X: Should I order pizza? Don't teens in a suit like pizza?

X: Remember when she used to have a crush on me? I miss the much cuter me-crush.

X: It's the jacket. It's true. Something about the big letter on the chest makes girls get all swoony and crushy. I saw it all the time in school. You couldn't just put any old felt letter to your coat and get play. Not that I tried.

D: You know what, maybe I don't want advice from the dysfunction queen.

PW: Why would he say you pushed him down the stairs?
D: I don't know. Maybe he was just embarrassed. It's hard being clumsy, especially when you're popular and athletic...I bet.

X: I'm just saying, once you get back the soul, doesn't that mean you start like...picking up your own wet towels off the floor?
W: No, but maybe you start to feel really bad about leaving them there.
B: At least he's showering, and that's a refreshing and delightful change.

X: Daddy like.

B: What is that shirt made of - paint?

X: Oh...no, daddy no! I wasn't....! When I was looking, I wasn't....! Oh God.
W: Right there with you.

B: So do you have plans later, or are you just gonna go down to the docks; wait for the fleet to come in?

B: Ok, first with the lap dance, now with the cat fight. Hey, wanna get drunk and barf next?

B: I get that, I do. I'm there, or at least I was there when I was still in High School. Which I was a couple years ago, really. You know, I just realized I'm basically the same age as you. I'm not really older at all actually. Just like you, but with the sexual experience and stuff.

D: Tell me what he said about me, including initination and facial expressions.

B: He might have said that you came on a little strong.
D: Oh my God, I'm the pushy queen of slut town.

X: Did that guy in the jacket...?
D: Ugh, I don't even want to hear his name anymore!
X: I just called him "that guy in the jacket".
D: That's what I used to call him in my head before I knew his real name!

X: I'm sorry it's just...check out time was an hour ago. We were hoping to make up the bed. And also, it's a class room, you chowderhead! Now get off the boy, Buffy. We're going home.

D: You're not supposed to do this!
B: Why, because he's younger than me? You know, I'm extremely youthful and peppy.

X: At least the yelling went away. It was starting to soun like Christmas morning with my family.

W: Love spells. People forget how dangerous they can be.
X: Hey, been there.
*flashback to "Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered"*
X: Good times.

W: I have tried every anti-love spell-spell I can find.
A: Even if you found the right one, guy would probably just do an anti-anti-love-spell-spell...spell.
W: What?

W: But you don't even know him!
A: Yes I do! I looked into him and I saw his soul.
W: He was walking away, so unless his soul is in his ass...
A: A.J is my best friend and my dearest darling.
W: It's R.J and what you were picking up on was his deep caring and devotion to me.

B: Willow, you're a gay woman. And he isn't.
W: This isn't about his physical presence. It's about his heart.
A: His physical presence has a penis!
W: I can work around it!

A: I'd kill for him!
W: You'd kill for a chocolate bar.

A: What are you gonna do, use magic to make him into a girl? .....Damn.

W: Oh man! Now I've gotta start all over. Hecitate hates that.

B: I've got a principal to kill. What's going on?

B: You realize that Anya's probably seducing R.J even as we speak?
W: My God, you think so?
B: Well,I wouldn't put it past her. She's recently evil, you know.
W: Well, so am I! Why should I miss out?

X: Hey, crazy chicks...look.

D: What am I, gonna compete with you? You're older and hotter, and have sex that's rough, and kill people!

X: Now you're sure you understand the plan?
S: I think I got it, yeah.
*swoop*
R.J: Hey! Oww!
*yoink*

X: That my friends is the smell of sweet, sweet victory.
A: Also burning cotton-poly blend.

B: Xander, be honest. You didn't, ya know, think about slipping that jacket on just a little bit?
X: I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it didn't fit.

X: True, you fell for a mystical ancient curse. Who hasn't made that mistake 7, 8 times?

Radio: "And now the latest on Sunnydale's late night bandit - who is still at large. A masked thief held up a number of..."
*clicked off*
A: Ok, great. Ice Cream? My treat?

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