D: People may say something like, "My protein window closes in an hour". Just nod and smile. Turns out it has something to do with fitness.

X: I love being single. I'm a strong, successful male whose giddy at the thought of all the women I will no doubt be dating in the near future.
B: Strong, successful males say, "giddy"?

A: What have I done?

Olaf:(t) Aud! Sweet, beautiful Aud! I am so hungry I could eat a small child!

A:(t) Olaf, are you injured? You smell of blood and musk.

Olaf:(t) Is it my imagination, or do we have substantially more rabbits in this house today?

A:(t) The rapid reproductive rate of our rabbits has given me an idea. I can give the excess out to the townspeople, exchanging them not for goods or services, but for goodwill and the sense of accomplishment that steams from selflessly giving of yourself to others.
Olaf:(t) Ha ha ha! Aud, your logic is insane and happenstance, like that of a troll.

Olaf:(t) You speak your mind and are annoying. It's one of the things I love most about you.

Olaf:(t) I have no interest in this Rannveig. Her hips are large and load-bearing, like a Baltic woman. Your hips are narrow, like a Baltic woman from a slightly more arid region.

S: I'm in trouble Buffy.
B: I can help you.
S: I could never ask. Not after...
B: It's different. You're different.
S: I could never ask.
B: Spike, it's me. It's you, and it's me and we'll get through this.
S: Never.

B: Get up and get out of this basement.
S: I don't have anywhere else to go.

Professor: You turned it around and aced all of your finals like...boom...magic.
W: Yes, similiar to but...

W: For God's sake, shut your wimpering mouth!

Olaf:(t) Stop! Stop! It is Olaf!
Townsperson [1]: (t) The troll is doing an Olaf impersonation!
Olaf:(t) I am Olaf!
Townsperson [2]: (t) Hit him with fruits and various meats!

D'Hoff: What'd he do?
A: Bar Matron. A load-bearing Bar Matron.
D'Hoff: Is there any other kind?

D'Hoff: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is D'Hoffren.
A: I am Aud.
D'Hoff: Are you?

A: I don't talk to people much. I mean, I talk to them but they don't talk to me. Except to say that "your questions are irksome" and "perhaps you should take your furs and your literal interpretations to the other side of the river."

D'Hoff: I get the sense that your talents are not fully appreciated here, Anyanka.
A: Why do you keep calling me that? My name is Aud.
D'Hoff: Perhaps, but Anyanka is who you are.

A: Venegence...
D'Hoff: But only to those who deserve it.
A: They all deserve it.
D'Hoff: That's where I was going with that, yeah.

B: Ripped out the heart? My God.....hey, did you get that physics class you wanted?

W: Get out.
Halfrek: Lemon drop, if you think I'm...
W: Get out.

W: I'm here to help you.
A: *laughs* You're here to...? Well that's great, Willow. Filleted anybody lately, have you? How quickly they forget.
W: I haven't forgotten one second of it.

B: The heart's completely ripped out. This is our guy.
X: ...or a copycat spider demon.

X: We go home, pick up more swords and some sort of a spider demon protection helmet, we come back and...
*swoop* *thud*
X: Or...

X: How could you not have told me?
B: Xander, it's ok. She didn't tell us for a reason. She didn't tell us because she knows what I have to do. I have to kill Anya.

B: She's not the Anya that you know, Xander. She's a demon.
X: That doesn't mean you have to kill her.
B: Don't act like this is easy for me. You know it's not.
X: There are other options.
B: I've considered them.
X: When, just now? Took you all of 10 seconds to decide to kill one of your best friends?
B: The thought that it might come to this has occured to me before. It's occured to you too.
X: But we can change what she did, fix it. These are mystical deaths, right? There has to be something.
W: I don't have anywhere near that kind of power. I didn't have that kind of power when...and I don't think I trust the power I do have.
B: It's ok. Xander, I know this is hard for you to hear, but it's what I have to do.
X: Hard for me to hear? Buffy, you want to kill Anya!
B: I don't want to!
X: Then don't! This isn't new ground for us. When our friends go all crazy and start killing people, we help them.
W: Sitting right here.
X: I'm sorry, but it's true.
B: It's different.
X: Because you don't care about her the same way I do. Buffy, I still love her.
B: I know, and that's why you can't see this for what it really is. Willow was different. She's a human, Anya's a demon.
X: And you're the slayer. I see now how it's all very simple.
B: It's never simple.
X: No, of course not. You know, if there's a mass murdering demon that you're...oh, say..boning...then it's all grey area.
B: Spike was harmless. He was helping.
X: He had no choice!
B: And Anya did! She chose to become a demon...twice.
X: You have no idea what she's going through...
B: I don't care what she's going through.
X: Oh, of course not. You think we haven't all seen this before? The part where you just cut us all out? Just step away from everything human and act like you're the law?! If you knew what I felt...
B: I killed Angel! Do you even remember that? I would've given up everything I had to be with... I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life, and I put a sword through his heart because I had too.
W: ...and that all worked out ok...
B: Do you remember cheering me on, both of you? Do you remember giving me Willow's message? "Kick his ass"?!
W: I never said that!
X: This is different.
B: It is always different! It's always complicated, and at some point someone has to draw the line and that is always going to be me. You, you get down on me for cutting myself off, but in the end the slayer is always cut off. There's no mystical guide book, no all-knowing council. Human rules don't apply. There's only me. I am the law.
X: There has to be another way.
B: Then please find it.

D'Hoff: Ms. Rosenberg, lovely to see you again. Have you done something with your hair?

X: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I did to you. Everything I put you through...
A: Thank you. All better!

X: You don't understand. This isn't an intervention. Buffy's coming to kill you.
A: She's coming to try.
X: Did everyone have their crazy flakes today?! You guys are friends, how can you talk like this?
A: I have a job to do, and so does Buffy.

A: This is getting to be a pattern with you, Buffy. Are there any friends of yours left you haven't tried to kill?

A: Come on, Buffy. Don't you have a clever retort for me?

Anya's Song-

Mr. Xander Harris,
that's what he is to the world outside
that's the name he carries with pride
I'm just lately Anya,
not very much to the world, I know
all these years with nothing to show

I boned a troll,
I wreacked some wrath
but on the whole,
I've had no path
I like to bowl,
I'm good with math
but who am I,
now I reply

That I'm the Mrs.
I will be his Mrs.
Mrs. Anya Christina Emmanuela Jenkins-Harris

What's the point of loving,
I mean except for the sweaty part
What's the point of losing your heart
maybe if you're lucky,
being a pair makes you twice as tall
maybe you're not losing at all

No need to cover up my heart
Plus see above re: Sweaty Part
So maybe our love is pretty smart
and so am I,
I found my guy

And I'll be Mrs.
I will be his Mrs.
Mrs. Anya lame ass made-up maiden name Harris

We'll never part,
not if we can
if we start,
then here's my plan
I'll show him what bliss is,
welcome him with kisses,
'cuz this is a Mrs. who misses her man
he's my Xander,
and he's awfully swell
he makes financial senses well,
although he can be, I'll never tell
just stand aside,
here comes the bride

I'll be Mrs.
I will be his Mrs.
I will be...

A: You know better than that, Buffy. It takes a lot more to kill a vengence demon.
B: I'm just getting started.

D'Hoff: Isn't that just like a slayer? Solving all her problems by sticking things with sharp objects.

D'Hoff: I think we already know what lady "hacks-away" wants...

D'Hoff: But I'm not sure if anyone's bothered to find out what Anyanka herself really wants...
X: Her name os Anya.
D'Hoff: Actually...funny historical sidebar, her original name was...

A: Xander, you can't help me. I'm not even sure there's a me to help.

D'Hoff: Haven't I taught you anything, *Anya*? Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain.

A: You should have killed me.
D'Hoff: Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. From beneath you it devours. Be patient. All good things in time.

A: Xander, what if I'm really nobody?
X: Don't be a dope.
A: I'm a dope?
X: Sometimes.
A: Well, it's a start.

Please credit Hellmouth Central with these quotes when using them for any publication.