D: This thing has a frickin' child lock on it!

D: I'm not the shortest one here. I don't know why I had to be in the kid coffin.

B: I should be at home in bed, cuddled up to my insomnia and worrying about how I'm gonna mess up tomorrow.

B: Taking my sister on an eductional outing to a...
D: ...dead body.

B: The paper said she had unusual cuts and contusions on her neck.
X: Maybe she cut herself shaving and then died naturally of embarrassment.

Lady Vamp: I am not peaceful.
B: That I can help with...
*poof*

B: But the thing is with bullies like this, they're really just...
Amanda: Insecure? Yeah, everyone says that. You know, I'm really tired of everyone being so insecure.

B: You have to stick up for yourself, Amanda. You need to show this bully that you're not gonna take anymore of his shi...ggguff. Uh, any guff.

X: "From beneath you it devours." It's not the friendliest jingle, is it? It's no "I like ike" or "Milk: It does a body good".

W: Except...I'm less worried about hitting my thumb and more worried about going all black-eyed baddie, and bewitching that hammer into cracking my friends skulls open like coconuts.
X: Right. Ouch.
W: Sorry.

B: You should know that there is nothing shameful about being gay, nothing.
Josh: I, I know. It's just, I'm not positive. So uh, I was thinking that why don't you go on a date with me so I can be sure?

B: It sounds like it's difficult for you. Like maybe your sister makes it hard for you to establish your own identity. You said she's controlling, she doesn't let you make your own decisions...
D: Yeah, and she borrows my clothes without asking.
B: I understand. That must be hard.

B: Cassie, don't change the subject. Why won't you graduate?
Cassie: Because next Friday I'm going to die.

PW: I couldn't bust a move in High School, let alone someone's ass.

Cassie: Summers? Hey, are you the counselor's little sister?
D: No, she's *my* sister. Lucky me, huh?

X: Buff, you spilled a cup of coffee. I'm not saying you don't have slayer grace, but it's not the first time.

X: Strep throat, ear infections, yeast infections, none of my business...no real info here.

W: Have you googled her yet?
X: Willow, she's 17!
W: It's a search engine.

X: This girl isn't just dealin', she's giving death a long sloppy word kiss. She has a yen for the big dirt nap.

W: I even posted a melodramatic love poem or two back in the day.
X: Love poems?
W: I'm over you now, sweetie.
X: Looooove poems.

W: All I'm saying is this is normal teen stuff. You join chat rooms, you write poetry, you post Doogie Howser fanfic. It's all normal, right?

D: Guys, I'm tellin' you...I'm liking Mike Heldenberg for the part! Let's collar him before he...lawyer's up.

B: Buffy the vampire slayer would break down this door.
X: And Buffy the counselor?
B:...waits.

S: Yes, there's evil down here...right here. I'm a bad man. William is a bad man.

S: Don't leave me. Stay here and help me be quiet?
B: I think it's worse when I'm here.

Mike: That's funny. You're Dawn's sister, right?
B: That's right. Dawn is *my* sister.

B: You're asking my sister to the dance, and she's your second choice?!

B: I'm a counselor here because I want to help. I know what it's like to walk these halls and feel lost, alone. I just wanna make things better...connect. And I'm going to connect with your face if you don't stop wasting my time and help me do my job!

D: She's not like you think. She's got powers...of helping.

D: That guy is such an ass.

B: Do you know how lame this is? Bored teenage boys trying to raise up a demon. Sorry it didn't show. I bet it's 'cuz you forgot the boom box playing some heavy metal thing like...blue clam cult? I think that's the key to the raising of lame demons.

Peter: Who are you?
S: I'm a bad man.

Cassie: She'll tell you. Someday she'll tell you.

Peter: Help! Help me, please! I'm bleeding!
B: Sorry, my office hours are 10 to 4.

B: See? You can make a difference.
Cassie: And you will.

B: So what then? What do you do when you know that...when you know that maybe you can't help?

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