Pink-Haired Girl: From beneath you it devours.

D: I mean, it's just so cool - you're coming to school with me. You'll be like there the whole time. You do understand you can't talk to me, look at me, or hang out with my friends, right?

X: At a spankin' new Hellmouth High. Please. Outside of drugs, violence, and unwanted pregnancy...and an unleashing of hordes of armageddon that comes pouring out of the schools foundation every now and then, what trouble could these kids have?

X: Those kids are damn lucky having a slayer and a friend on campus there for them. I hope they appreciate it. I know I did. Days gone by, huh?

X: She bounced back to being a vengence demon and I bounced back to being a dateless nerd.

D: You guys really need to ease up on the whole dating-demons thing.
B: Uh, hello? I'm sorry, wasn't that you having the smooch-a-thon with teen vampire last Halloween?
D: See, this is why I don't want you talking to my friends.

Principal Wood: They need to feel like there's someone around here who actually understands them.
B: Can I give detention?

Principal Wood: Trust me, you open that door and those students will eat you alive.
B: You heard about Principal Flutie, right?

B: Was it my sparkling personality? Or maybe you enjoyed my work at the Doublemeat Palace?
Principal Wood: I'm a vegetarian.

X: It's your lucky night, considering you know, your dog just got all ate up and stuff. Hey, can I freshen up your tea?

D: Should we round up the gang?
X: Good thinking except...this is the gang.

S: What you need is help. Fortunently you've got me.

S: We need to talk. You wanna do that here or privately?
X: I'm thinking here in the company of good friends and pointy weapons.

S: So am I wrong?
B: Everything about you is wrong, Spike.

N: Is your girlfriend always this...commanding?
X: Who? Buffy? Oh, no, no no...see, uh, I mean, she's...she's a girl and...and she's my friend, but, but, but...she's not my girlfriend.
D: Xander? Little drool.

D: I'm command central, so everyone check in with me. Ok, I'll be doing my homework, but the other one sounded cooler.

D: Spike, you sleep right? You...vampires...you sleep?
S: Yeah. What's your point, niblet?
D: I can't take you in a fight or anything...even with a chip in your head, but you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all, touch her, you're gonna wake up on fire.

S: And when exactly did your sister get unbelievably scary?

S: Can't say sorry. Can't use "forgive me". All I can say is Buffy, I've changed.
B: I believe you.
S: Well, that's something.
B: I just don't know what you've changed into.

X: Sunnydale - come for the food, stay for the dismemberment.
N: There's good food?

N: Um, do you think I might instead give you a call sometime?
X: Just to check in?
N: No, actually I'm hitting on you.

A: Oh...penis.

B: Anya, that thing you created burst through solid pavement and ate her dog.
A: Uh...puppy.
X: That gets your sad noise? Peoples lives are in danger and you give it up for the yorkie?
A: You never understood me, Xander.

N: Is there anyone here who hasn't slept together?
*Xander and Spike look at each other*

A: Bite me, Harris.

A: How did you do it?
B: Spike, what is she talking about?
A: I can see you!
S: Nothing. Let's go.

A: I am so gonna kick your ass.

S: Working out the personal issues, are we?

A: All I'm saying is...none of this happened until your dumped me at the alter.
X: And sooner or later Anya, that excuse just stops working.

S: That's right. Big Bad's back and lookin' for a little death!

S: Bring the wife and kiddies. Come see the show. This is gonna be a circus. This is just the beginning, love. A warm-up act. The real headliner's coming, and when that band hits the stage all of this...all this will come tumbling in death and screaming horror and bloodshed. From beneath you it devours.

X: She's not calling me.

X: I know this is bad, but it could be worse.
A: Oh, it will be.

B: No more mind games, Spike.
S: No more mind games. No more mind.

B: Spike, have you completely lost your mind?
S: Well, yes. Where have you been all night?

S: I can't. Not with you looking.

S: I dreamed of killing you. I think they were dreams. So weak, but you make me weak. Thinking of you, holding myself and spilling useless buckets of salt over your ending. Angel should've warned me. It's a good show, forget it...but it's here in me...all the time. Spark. I wanted to give you what you deserve. And I got it...they put the spark in me, and all it does is burn.
B: Your soul...
S: Bit worse for lack of use.
B: You got your soul back, how?
S: It's what you wanted, right? It's what YOU wanted, RIGHT? And now everybody's in here, talking... everything I did, everyone I...and him. It did...the other...the thing...beneath. Beneath you. It's here too. Everybody, they all just tell me to go, go...to hell.
B: Why? Why would you do...
S: Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he must for her - to be hers. To be the kind of man who never...to be the kind of man. And she shall look upon him with forgiveness and everybody will forgive and love. And he will be loved. So everything's ok, right? Can we rest now, Buffy? Can we rest?

Please credit Hellmouth Central with these quotes when using them for any publication.