Two To Go
(B=Buffy, X=Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, D=Dawn, A=Anya, J=Jonathan, Aw=Andrew, C=Clem, R=Rack)
B: Meet me at the jail.
X: Sure, how you gonna...
*Buffy runs off*
X: Ok then. I'll just...catch up. She's only my best friend, ya know. No big deal..just...*punches hood* glad I can help.
J: Say, maybe we can trade a pack of cigarettes in for tinfoil. Make you a nice little antenna hat.
Aw: Laugh it up, fuzzball.
Aw: Lex Luthor had a false epidermus escape kit in Superman vs. The Amazing Spiderman treasury edition...
J: Ok, first of all those were sonic disrupters. Second of all, you are sadness personified. Waiting for Warren? Yeah, maybe he'll come bust us out of here in Santa's magic slay.
Aw: You were out of the trio a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. And you wanna know why, little feller? No respect for the chain of command.
Aw: Oh my God...Warren.
J: Oh my God...me. Guard!!
Policeman: Look, I don't know what you're doing, but...
W: Take a nap.
*plop*
W: Buffy...
A: Willow, just stop for a second and listen to...
*ZAP*
W: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
X: Boys, if you don't knock it off, I will pull this car over and you can just walk to your painful deaths from here.
J: I still can't believe that was Willow. I mean I've known her almost as long as you guys. Willow was...you know. She packed her own lunches and wore floods, and was always....just Willow.
*smash*
J&Aw: Jeez...what was that??!
X: Just Willow.
J: She's draining...
X: She's whating?
J: Just keep going.
D: As taste tests go, this is one of the better ones I've been too.
C: Let me get my hat and my coat...I'll take you to a movie. We'll go nuts. PG-13.
C: ...Cause your sister's the slayer, I'm a demon. That's real good insentive to get along with her.
S: And since your pad is decked out gladiator style, and no number 2 pencils have been provided, I guess we're not starting with the written.
S: Here we are now. Entertain us.
*whap*
S: Son of a....
C: Uh, I don't feel anything. Uh oh, oh well. Let's go home...
C: It's just....Rack's not partial to the floppy ear th...he has a thing! But but hey, I'm in...absolutely.
J: I've dabbled...in magics.
X: I think Willow's in a league of her own, dabble boy.
B: Thank you. Now remember that thing we talked about?
J: About me shutting up? Right.
R: So tell me...strawberry...what on this earth do you want?
W: Just to take a little tour.
*ZAP*
D: You wanna wait here?
C: If that works for you.
D: Be right back.
W: Hey cutie.
D: You're back on the magics.
W: No honey, I am the magics.
D: Did you kill that guy?
W: It's an improvement, believe me.
W: You miss her?
D: Yes.
W: Did you cry? Of course you did. I get that. I understand the crying. You cry because you're human...but you weren't always.
D: Yes, I was.
W: Oh please. You're telling me you don't remember? You used to be some mystic ball of energy. Maybe that's why you're crying all the time, Dawnie. Cause you don't belong here. Wanna go back? End the pain? You'll be happier, I'll be happier, we'll all be a lot happier without listening to the constant whining.
D: Willow...stop.
W: *whiny voice* Mom, Buffy, Tara, waaaah. It's time you go back to being a little energy ball.
A: I can't do this. I'm in retail. Stupid ancient sumarian.
Aw: You saw her. She's a truck driving magic momma. And we've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into jawa burgers, and not one of you bunch has the medechlorians to stop her.
X: You've never had any tiny bit of sex, have you?
A: The annoying virgin has a point.
A: I care if you live or die, Xander. I'm just not sure which one I want.
X: Look we both know things might get ugly at Wiccapalooza, and if it gets really bad...
A: Let me guess...you'll propose?
A: You know none of this would be happening if it weren't for you.
X: You think I don't know that? You think I'm the hero of this piece? I saw the gun....before Warren raised it. I saw it and I couldn't move. He shot two of my friends before I could even. You want me to know how useless I am, that it's my fault? Thanks, already got the memo.
A: I was talking about us.
W: I wasn't gonna hurt her, buzzkill.
W: Let me tell you something about Willow. She's a loser, and she always has been. People picked on Willow in junior high school, high school, up until college. With her stupid mousy ways, and now Willow's a junkie.
W: Just moments when Tara would look at me, and I was wonderful. And that will never happen again.
W: You're try to sell me on the world? The one where you lie to your friends when you're not trying to kill them, and you screw a vampire just to feel? And insane asylums are a comfy alternative? This world? Buffy, it's me. I know you were happier when you were in the ground.
W: Jonathon. Andrew. You boys like magic don't you? Abra Cadabra.
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