Seeing Red
(B=Buffy, X=Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, T=Tara, D=Dawn, A=Anya, J=Jonathan, Wn=Warren, Aw=Andrew, C=Clem)
W: When did morning happen?
T: When the moon went down.
W: She told you about Spike?
D: It was kind of obvious after last night.
W: Yeah, I ...uh totally knew.
T: Um, that's my clue to go put some clothes on.
D: No, no, no, no...I'm totally not here! You guys, you do whatever you want! Um, I'll go watch TV, downstairs! Really loud! In the basement, where I can't hear anything! Uh! Oh my God! EEE! I love you guys! EEE!
[Chalkboard reads - TOO LATE! ]
B: That can't be good.
A: Sometimes intimate sweaty relations with the wrong person just sounds like a good idea at the time.
A: Bet you wish he'd blowed up a couple thousand pounds and pop like a big ol' meat zepplin, don't you?
A: They say, "Oh Anya, I want to be with you for the rest of my life", and you believe them. You believe they feel the same way about you, because that's the way love's supposed to be, right?
Woman at bar: Who's Anya?
A: ...And then you get all excited with the tingly anticipation, but wait! Not so fast! There's the apocolypse, and the back from the grave, and the blah blah blah blah blah! And by the time you're finally standing there in that beautifully expensive white dress that you dreamed about ever since you became human; he gets all hibby-jibby and decides, "ya know, I'd rather justgo steady".
Woman at bar: Men suck. I wish Carl's flesh...
A:....He said it wasn't me, but how can I believe him? He knew he didn't want to get married, deep down he knew. But he lied to me, everyday for months!
Woman at bar: I wish...
A: ....he lied and lied and lied some more. Cause hey, who's gonna notice with all the other lies flying around like little monkeys. Then he thinks he can just sweep the carnage underneath the rug by saying, oh..
Aw: You wanna a piece of this! *zap* Not so tough now, are ya? *zap* Puff N' Stuff! *zap*
Wn: Hey, hey, hey! We need 'em fresh, not smoke house.
J: Why can't I just use a glamour?
Aw: You can't Sigfried and Roy the barrier.
Aw: I don't trust that leprecaun.
J: No way I'm going in there. It stinks like a mother.
Aw: Dude, unholy hair gel.
J: Get off.
Aw: Make me, skinjob!
X: God, what were you think?
B: You're asking me that? Oh, cause your decision making skills have really sparkled lately.
X: I'm not saying I didn't make any mistakes. But last time I checked, slaughtering half of Europe wasn't one of them. He doesn't have a soul, Buffy. Just some leash they jammed in his head.
J: Don't have time for this...
Aw: Ease up, twitchy.
B: Not bad. How hard are you gonna hit when you're blowin' in the wind?
*poof* *smack*
B: Oww...that was rhetorical.
S: You should've let him kill me.
B: I couldn't do that.
S: Why?
B: You know why.
S: Because you love me.
B: No, I don't.
S: Why do you keep lying to yourself?
B: How many time do...I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love.
B: Please Spike don't!
S: You'll feel it again, Buffy! I'm gonna make you feel it!
*kick*
B: Ask me again why I could never love you!
S: Buffy...my God...I didn't...
B: Because I stopped you! Something I should've done a long time ago!
Aw: Warren's the boss. He's Pichard, you're Deana Troy. Get used to the feeling, baseoid.
Wn: Don't worry babies. Daddy gonna give you some too.
X: See now, I think it's the daddy thing that's throwing her. Cause incest is not that sexy.
Wn: No wonder she's screwing the dead guy, you hit like a girl.
X: Well at least I know how to get one.
*smack*
X: Be careful. Warren's gone all mighty mouse. Emphesis on the might.
B: Good. Then I won't have to hold back.
C: She's a sweet girl, Spike. But shew....issues.
C: I had this cousin who got resurrected by this kooky shaman. Woo boy..huh, was that a mess.
S: It won't let me be a monster, and I can't be a man. I'm nothing.
Aw: I can't wait to get my hands on his orbs.
B: Is this your bank? Cause if not, there's gonna be a fee for that.
Wn: Say goodnight, bitch.
*smashes orbs*
B: Goodnight, bitch.
*whap*
Aw: Well played, Slayer.
*revels jetpack*
J: Ga..why didn't I get one of those?!
Aw: This round to you, but the game is far from over.
*swoosh...BANG!*
J: Oh God, the big house.
Aw: How could he do this to me? He promised we'd be together. He was just using me. He never really loved....hanging out with us.
S: Get nice and comfy, Slayer. I'll be back and when I do, things are gonna change.
T: Xander!
W: Not quite the response I was looking for.
B: Just making sure there were no more evil trio cameras. Or evil uno.
X: The sinister yet addictive card game?
X: I don't know what I'd do...without you and Will.
B: Let's not find out.
T: Your shirt...
*collapses*
W: TARA!
Please credit Hellmouth Central with these quotes when using them for any publication.
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