Adam: Two Slayers.
S: That's right.
Adam: And you killed them both.
S: Yeah. I killed the hell out of them.

Adam: You feel smothered. Trapped like an animal. Pure in its ferocity. unable to actualize the feelings within. Clinging to one truth, like a flame, struggling to burn within an enclosed glass: that a beast this powerful cannot be contained. Inevitably, it will break free and savage the land again. I will make you whole again, make you savage.
S: Wow.

S: I get why all the demons all fall in line with you. You're like Tony Robbins. If he was a big, scary, Frankenstein-looking... You're exactly like Tony Robbins.

S: You don't want her Slayerettes mucking about.
Adam: Take them away from her.
S: Well, there's a plan. She's working solo, she won't have a chance to come after us when the wild rumpus begins. Plus, it'll make her miserable. And I never get tired of that.

X: Try those on - you'll feel like a new man.
R: Would this man have a bright red nose and big floppy feet?

R: But as post-apocalypse splendor goes, I've done wonders with the place.

R: I take it you're not an Angel fan, either.
X: It's not like I hate the guy... just, you know, the guts part of him.

X: Angel's an okay guy if he's mopey and sad and brooding, but you give him even one second of pure, real pleasure...
R: And that sets him off.
X: Only in the big old "kill your friends kind of way. And you know what makes Angel happiest? I'll give you a hint: it's not creme brulee.

R: That explains a lot of things that I wish weren't explained.

X: Hey, man, that's all ancient history.
R: She went running to LA to bone up on her history.
X: No, I'm sure it's boneless.

S: You know, for someone who's got "Watcher" on his resume, you might want to cast an eye to the front door every now and again.

S: What, you think I'd come running over saying "I've got a secret. Beat me till I talk"?

G: What do you want?
S: Year's supply of blood, guaranteed protection, merry bushels of cash, and most important, a guarantee that I'm not to be in any way slain.

S: What makes you think she'll listen to you?
G: Because.
S: Very convincing.
G: I'm her Watcher.
S: I think you're neglecting the past tense there, Rupert.

S: I've seen the way she treats you.
G: Ah, yes? How's that?
S: Very much like a retired librarian.

W: I keep thinking, "okay, that's the cutest thing ever." And then she does something cuter, and completely resets the whole scale.
T: Did you see her yawn earlier?
W: Yes! I thought I was gonna die!

W: Maybe something fun, like drama. I could be dramatic. "You cannot have more catnip! You have a catnip problem."
T: Definitely drama.

W: I used to assume we'd be roomies through grad school, well into little old ladyhood. You know, cheating at Bingo together, and... forgetting to take our pills.

B: You joined the circus?
R: Xander took my clothes to clean them, left me these. Does he, uh, hate me in some way I don't know about yet?

R: It's the pants, isn't it? It's okay, I couldn't take me seriously in these things, either.

R: I have to recharge them every two hours or they go dead on me.

S: This is just... swell.

A: Wow - the chip in your head means you can't even point a gun? How humiliating.

S: I'm taking a risk here, you know?
X: Can I tell you how much I really don't care?

A: You're joining the Army?!?
X: Okay, one: ow. Two: where'd you get that idea? Three: ow!

X: It happens that I'm good at a lot of things. I help out with all kinds of... stuff. I have skills, and... stratagems.. I'm very... help me out.
A: He's a viking in the sack.

X: Xander got fired from Starbucks. Xander got fired from that phone-sex line.
A: They look down on you.
X: And they hate you.
A: But they don't look down on me.

F: You killing humans now?
B: Not yet. Beating you senseless should do just fine.

F: Family's tearing apart.
B: Family? What kind of family are you, Corleones?

S: A couple of them make me on the way out, but I took care of them.
G: Gave them a good running-away-from, did you?

S: Can you fix 'em?
W: Crack a government encryption code on my laptop? Easy as really difficult pie.
S: You're not exactly the whiz these days, either. God, I'm never gonna get paid.
W: I am a whiz.
T: She is a whiz.
W: If ever a whiz there was.

Soldier: They're going to start tearing each other apart.
Colonel: I have no problems with that scenario.

R: Way I heard it, you were all peaceable now. You didn't by any chance go and lose that pesky soul again, did you?

An: Think you're going to stop me?
R: I surely do.

An: Can I come in?
B: I guess.
An: I need a little more than that.

B: Let me guess: you thought of something else really hurtful to say and, well, you couldn't tell me on the phone because the funniest part is that look on my face.

B: Running your car into a tree is an accident. Running your fist into somebody's face is a plan.

An: Put that gun down.
R: It's pretty much all I got left, so I'm thinking not.

B: He won't hurt anybody. Tell him!
An: Might hurt you.
R: Oh, please try.
An: Huh, some threat. You can barely stand.
R: My trigger finger feels okay.
An: You actually sleep with this guy?

B: I see one more display of testosterone-poisoning, and I will personally put you both in the hospital.

B: I would really like to know - what the hell are you trying to do?
An: I was trying to make things better. It's, uh, going pretty good, don't you think?
B: Swell.

An: He wasn't real forthcoming with the benefit of the doubt.

An: Oh, and... Riley?
B: Yeah?
An: I don't like him.
B: Thank you.

S: Call it the Yoko factor. Don't tell me you've never heard of the Beatles?
Adam: I have. I like "Helter Skelter".

B: How bad are you hurt?
R: Dunno yet. The night's still young.

R: Xander said...
B: Xander? Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia.

R: When I saw that he was bad...
B: He's... not bad.
R: Seriously? That's a good day? Well, there you go. Even when he's good, he's all Mr. Billowy-coat, king of pain, and girls really...

R: See? Nuts.

B: Then why with the crazy?
R: Because I'm so in love with you I can't think straight.
B: Tell me about it.

B: Okay, Will, how long before you un-crypt it?
W: Hours? Days maybe. Anyone suggesting months would not be accused of crazy talk.

G: Whatever happened to Latin? At least when that made no sense, the Church approved.

W: Right, and then maybe you'll get lucky and he'll still be there, and he can rip your arms off for you.

G: You never train with me anymore. He's going to kick your ass.
B: Giles!
G: Sorry. Was it a bit honest? Terribly sorry.

X: I'll stay behind and putter around the Batcave with crusty old Alfred here.
G: Ah, no, I am no Alfred, sir. No, you forget, Alfred had a job.

W: Oh, wow, we're already getting in the way. We're pretty good at this, Xander, huh?

W: Besides, when is ther any "us two"? You two are the two who are the two. I'm the other one.

B: Are you drunk?
G: Yes, quite a bit, actually.
B: Well, stop it.

G: I, for one, am not missing a minute of it...

T: You think this will go on for a while?
A: Hard to say.
T: Nice bathroom.
A: Like the tile.

W: No, you'd be wonderful in the Army. Do you think the umbilical cord between you and Anya will stretch that far?

X: Tara's your girlfriend?
G: Bloody hell!

B: Judgemental? If I was any more open-minded about the choices you two make, my whole brain would fall out.

X: Just because you're better than us doesn't mean you can be all superior.

B: We'll walk into that cave with you two attacking me and that funny drunk drooling on my shoe.

Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers