X: Is she dying?
B: I think she's singing.
X: To a telephone in Hindi. Now, that's entertainment.

X: Why is she singing?
W: She's sad because her lover gave her 12 gold coins, but then the wizard cut open the bag of salt, and now the dancing minions have nowhere to put their big maypole... fish thing.
X: Uh-huh. Why's she _singing_?
B: Her lover? I thought that was her chiropractor.
W: Because of that thing he did with her feet? No, that was personal.

W: I know, we could go to the Bronze, and sneak in our own teabags, and ask for hot water.
X: Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail.
B: I for one, am giddy and up. There's a kind of hush all over Sunnydale. No demons or vampires to slay. I'm here with my friends. So, how does the water buffalo fit in again?

C: I happen to be dating a Delta Zeta Kappa.
X: Oh, an extraterrestrial. So that's how you get a date after you've exhausted all the human guys.

C: You'll go to college some day, Xander. I just know your pizza delivery career will take you so many exciting places.

B: And the little slice of life that still belongs to me from, I don't know, 7:00 to 7:05 in the morning, can I do what I want then?

B: Right, who needs a social life when you've got your very own Hellmouth?

G: You have a commitment in life. Now, how many people your age can say that?
B: We talking foreign or domestic? How about none?

X: Okay, so tonight, channel 59, Indian TV, sex, lies, and incomprehensible story lines? I'll bring the betel nuts.

C: Come on, Richard and his fraternity brother want to meet you.
B: Well, I don't really want to meet any fraternity boys.
C: And if there was a god, don't you think he'd keep it that way?

R: Hi, sweetheart. I'm Richard. And you are?
B: *So* not interested.

R: What, she likes to play hard to get?
T: No, Richard, I think you're playing easy to resist.

X: She's gonna walk away. Now. Okay, boots, start a-walking.

X: I hate these guys. Whatever they want just falls into their laps. Don't you hate these guys?
W: Yeah, with their charmed lives, and their movie-star good looks, and more money than you can count... I'm hating.

A: Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing's going to lead to another.
B: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?
A: I'm just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.
B: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
A: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
B: No. When you kiss me, I want to die.

C: Richard explained it to me, but I was so busy really listening that I didn't hear much.

C: Oh, Buffy, it's like we're sisters, with really different hair.

W: She's got a date with Angel. Isn't that exciting?
X: I'm elated.

W: Cordelia?! Did I sound a little jealous just then, 'cause I'm not really... Cordelia?!
X: Cordelia's much better for you than Angel.

B: Angel barely says two words to me.
X: Don't you hate that?
B: And when he does, he treats me like I'm a child.
X: That bastard.
B: You know, at least Tom can carry on a conversation.
X: Yeah. Tom? Who's Tom?
W: The frat guy.
X: Oh, Buffy, I don't think so. Frying pan, fire?

B: I wasn't lying. I was just protecting him from information that he wouldn't be able to digest properly.
X: Like a corndog.

X: Whoa, whoa, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?

C: Don't wear black, silk, chiffon, or spandex. These are my trademarks.

W: I can't believe she lied to Giles. My world's all askew.
X: Buffy's lying. Buffy's going to frat parties. That's not askew, that's cockeyed.
W: Askew means cockeyed.
X: Oh.

W: You want to protect her?
X: Mm-hmm.
W: And prove that you're just as good as those rich snotty guys?
X: Mm-hmm.
W: Maybe catch an orgy?
X: If it's on early.

C: Are you ready for this?
B: I don't know. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
C: Me, too. Let's go.

C: You know what's so cool about college? The diversity. You've got all the rich people, and...all the other people.

T: We're not all drunken louts. Some of us are sober louts.

C: Why did I ever let you talk me into coming here?

G: What are you doing?
W: Oh. Sorry. The reflection thing that you don't have... Angel, how do you shave?

W: I mean, she's sixteen going on forty!

W: ...and you! I mean, you're going to live forever, you don't have time for a cup of coffee? Okay, I don't feel better now.

X: One day, I'll have money, prestige, power... and on that day they'll still have more.

C: You guys... I just... hate you guys! The weirdest things always happen when you're around.

G: From now on, no more pushing, no more prodding. Just an inordinate amount of nudging.

W: Have you heard from Angel? When he got so mad about you being in danger, and changed into a... grrr!.... It was the most amazing thing I ever saw. I mean, how many guys can...
X: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? (to Angel) Hey man, how ya doin'?

A: Buffy.
B: Angel.
X: Xander.