W: So, we're talking about a guy?
B: Not exactly a guy. For us to have a conversation about a guy, there'd have to be a guy for us to have a conversation about. Was that a sentence?

B: Yeah, I could just see him in a relationship. 'Hi honey, you're in grave danger. I'll see you next month.'

X: I don't know what everyone's talking about, that outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker.

X: That Cordelia's a regular breath of vile air.

W: Just sitting here watching our barren lives pass us by. Oh, look, a cockroach. *stomp*

X: Let's stop this crazy whirligig of fun. I'm dizzy.

A: Good dogs don't bite.

B: Angel, do you snore?
A: I don't know. It's been a long time since anyone's been in a position to let me know.

X: Wake up and smell the seduction!

X: I once drank an entire gallon of gatorade without taking a breath.
W: It was pretty impressive. Although later there was an ick factor.
G: Can we steer this riveting conversation back to the events that happened earlier in the evening?

W: How is it you always know this stuff? You always know what's going on. I never know what's going on.
G: You weren't here from midnight until six researching it.
W: No, I was sleeping.

B: Good-bye stakes, hello flying fatality!

B: 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, *bad* things!

B: 'A' doesn't even stand for 'Angel,' for that matter. It stands for 'Achmed,' a charming foreign exchange student.

X: Angel's a vampire. You're a Slayer. I think it's obvious what you have to do.

X: You're in love with a vampire?!

A: What's with the catholic schoolgirl look? Last time I saw you, it was kimonos.

D: Is there anything better than a natural disaster?

X: I'm not saying anything. I have nothing to say.

X: Now I'm saying something. You saw him naked?!

W: I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being someone who's killing and maiming every night, and 1 being someone who's... not.

X: Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly.

M: You see how well we all work together for the common good? That's how a family is supposed to function.

W: No speaking up; that way leads to madness and sweaty palms.

W: It is kind of novel how he'll stay young and handsome forever, although you'll still get wrinkly and die... and oh, what about the children? I'll be quiet now.

D: You're hurting me. That's good too.

B: You're not an animal. Animals I *like*.

B: I invited you into my home, and you attacked my family.
A: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends and their friends' children for a hundred years. I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.

A: I fed on a girl your age. Beautiful. Dumb as a post.

A: The elders conjured up the perfect punishment for me: they restored my soul.
B: What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?

D: Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?
B: Bad hair on top of that outfit?

B: Well, you've been around since Columbus. You are bound to pile up a few exes.

B: Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes.

D: So many body parts, so few bullets.

X: Ah, the post-fumigation party.
B: Okay, so what's the difference between this and the pre-fumigation party?
X: Much hardier cockroaches.

B: It's weird, though. In his way, I feel like he's still watching me.
W: Well, in a way he sort of is...in the way of that he's right over there.