C: What just happened? Can someone explain to me what just happened here?
W: I believe we were fired.
G: Canned.
W: Let go.
G: Axed.
W: Shown the door.
G: Booted.
C: All right! I get it. But. . . . what just *happened*?

W: Angel's not been himself lately. Perhaps he'll change his mind.
G: He locked 20 lawyers in a room with a couple of psychotic vampires. I'd say his mind's changed enough.

C: One thing you can say about Angel, at least he's consistent. It's always some little blonde driving him over the edge!

G: Hey, this was just a side gig for me, all right? The extra cash was nice while it lasted, but Angel wants to go all Commando? No skin off my nose.
C: Well, my nose skin is angry.

A: I'm not ready yet. Too many years spent sleeping in soft beds, living in a world where I don't belong. I can't fight them. Not yet. But soon.

L: I'm the only one left.
EMT: Hey, we got a live one here!
L: We do?

V: He fired you? He can't fire you. You're on a mission to protect the innocent. You can't fire someone on a mission. What did he say, exactly?
W: "You're fired."
V: Oh.

V: Can you file a grievance with the union?
W: Virginia, I'm not in a union, I'm a . . . . I don't even know what the name of my job is. Was.
V: You're a renowned specialist in. . .in supernatural aid and rescue.
W: No, I'm just... "renowned"?

V: You should be in a union. My father always used union conjurers.
W: I didn't know that.
V: Oh, the wizard community's very progressive.
W: Your father tried to sacrifice you to the Goddess Yeska.
V: Yeah, one of the many reasons I'll never talk to him again. Although, I am healing, thanks to a lot of therapy. And a gigantic trust fund.

A: When Wolfram & Hart take a life, they do it at a distance. I don't have that luxury. It's time. I'm not on their level. But I can get there. And when I do, I'll be right up close. I'll bring the fight to them.

Li: What's wrong, Lindsey? You bitter because your girlfriend didn't slit my throat?
L: That might be overstating it -- more like bummed.

Li: I take it I'm not the only one feeling the lack of empathy around here?
L: (to passing vamp) What are you lookin' at?!
Li: No phone calls, no flowers. . . if I were the nervous type, I'd be nervous, but as it is, I'm just pissed.

Li: You know what I don't like about suspicion? The part where they find us two weeks from now dead in some "freak accident."

L: We did nothing wrong.
Li: I'm sorry, have we met? Because I work for Wolfram and Hart. Responsibility has nothing to do with it.

Li: If they're looking for a scapegoat, we might as well grow horns and start eating garbage.

Dr: He's got cow eyes. Big and black. Mooooo.

D: Smart young lawyers, hungry for their big break and whoops! The boss gets eaten. Somebody's gotta step up. Someone promising, pretty, with questionable ethics, and $1200 suits that look good on the 6 o'clock news.

D: You see, Lindsey, during my stint as Wolfram and Hart's puppet, something occurred to me: I loathe being used. If I recall, I sent you a 15-body memo to that effect.

D: Not everything is about Angel, Lindsey. I just wanna have some fun.
L: Well, you see, I'm surprised. Because I thought that you would make him your top priority.
D: I spent two hundred and fifty years without Angel. You think just because I went through a little "human" phase, I'd go all gooey?
L: No. No, I thought you'd kill him.

VAMP: Generally, I don't like to hit the fast food places. The people are all greasy. But this was like Christmas!

W: A Bloody Mary, please.
Bartender: You want real blood with that?
W: Uh. . . . bloodless, thanks.

W: Steady on, Wesley. Perhaps something by Cat Stevens.

C: What are you doing here?
W: I just . . . came in for a drink.
C: Ah. Because only demon karaoke bars have those.

W: What are you doing here?
C: Oh. Uh, Well. . . I was, um, in the neighborhood?
W: You live fifteen miles away.
C: Well, you know L.A. It's all one really . . . big neighborhood.

W: Come to find your destiny, have you? And who was going to help you with that?
C: Shania Twain. Or Madonna. I hadn't decided.

W: I suppose we're both rather at loose ends now that Angel's. . .
C: Pulled a total wig.
W: Quite.

W: I have to admit, I'm somewhat embarassed.
G: How do you think I feel?

C: Gunn! What are you . . . What happened to, "This was just a side gig"?
G: Hey, I got a rep to maintain. Can't have y'all seeing through my brusque and macho exterior.
C: Oh, heavens forfend!

W: So, I'll assume it's not Madonna. But what song were you going to sing?
G: You wouldn't know it.

C: Well, I, for one, would just like to point out the patheticness that is us.

Merl: I heard about your girls -- Godzilla, Darcilla, whatever.

Merl: Freakin' vampires.

Demon: Who the hell're you?
D: My name is Darla; this is Drusilla. We're new in town, though some of you know us by reputation.
Demon: I ain't ever heard of ya.
[DRU RIPS HIS EARS OFF]
D: And now you never will.

D: Me and my girl, we're not just the new thing in town; we're the only thing in town. And we're in the market for some. . . well, one doesn't really want to use the term "muscular slaves" . . . Actually, one does.

Dr: Eyes like needles.!
D: Dru, I'm working here.

D: Winners will have the opportunity to foment mass destruction. Losers will be gutted and left for dead. Have a nice night.

Li: One of us is going to die, Lindsey.
L: Everybody dies, Lilah.
Li: But not everybody ends up in a dog food processing plant in San Pedro.

L: But Lilah. I would *never* steal files from my employer. I'm shocked at the suggestion! Forget about the frame job, sweetheart. They're gonna kill who they're gonna kill. Just take it like a man.

C: But see? That's what I'm saying. If Wesley hadn't been all shaking-his-finger and no-no-no, this whole Darla thing would have just, you know, blown over.
G: What?
W: Blown over? Angel is obsessed with Darla. Obsessions don't just blow over.
G: Right.
C: Well, you certainly didn't help things by making him feel guilty about it. You shamed him into firing us.
W: Are you blaming this on me?
C: I'm not blaming. . . . Yes! I'm blaming you. You get the blame.
G: I don't know . If I had to listen to you two, day in, day out -- snipe snipe snipe, bitch bitch bitch. I figure ya'll got off easy, cuz I woulda killed you.
C: That's rich, coming from Mr. I-Don't-Take-Orders, Now-Where-Can-I-Stick-My-Axe?
G: What is that supposed to mean?
W: Well, Gunn, you've never been very supportive of Angel's leadership role. I remember a certain shroud....
G: Hold up, hold up. Are you tryin' to tell me this is my fault?
W: Well, how is a man supposed to run a business if his employees won't follow directives?
G: Was one of his directives "Hire pansy ass British guy"?
W: My ass is not pansy!
H: Can I have someone bring you kids another round?
C, W, G: Yes!
G: And what about her? Maybe if she'd had a few more visions, Angel woulda been too distracted to think about this Darla chick, huh?
C: Earth to retards! You have an obsession, you pretty much squeeze it into your schedule no matter what!
W: A-ha! So you admit it's an obsession?
C: No! I mean, yes, but no!
W: Hypocrite!
C: Ass pansy!

C: Vampires... sloth demons... you know what's really, really evil? Tequila.
W: I need to be dead now.

H: Well, well, I can see the maudlin segment of tonight's binge is in full swing. Oh, don't be blue. I was very impressed with your musical recitation of pain earlier. And when I say "pain," I mean mine. Although props for singing your little hearts out.
C: Yeah, our hearts were out. You, Mr. Big Mojo Guy, are s'posed to, um, give us guidance now.
W: She's right. We came, we sang, we . . . fought the urge to regurgitate.
C: So spill already. (to Wes) Not you.

C: (Yawning) What are we supposed to do with our lives? Where do we go from here?
H: Oh, I'd love to tell you, sweetie. But when the Big Guys talk, I shut my yap. And they're about to get real chatty....

C: Where is she?
G: If we had Angel, we could track her.
C: He'd also kill the big spiny demon that took her. Did I mention its teeth are about three inches long?
G: And us, with no weapons. Man, I wish Angel was here.
W: Well, he's not. Angel's walked away from his duty. We're not going to.

W: First, we examine the area for any tell-tale signs of a particular kind of. . . yeughh.
G: There's different kinds of "yeuggh?"

Dr: I didn't like that barkeeper. Mmmm, can't get his eyes off my fingers.

D: We should get to the factory.
Dr: My little bird is anxious.
D: Yes, well, recruiting a legion of demons is stressful, Dru.

D: Why is everybody trying to make this about Angel? I mean, for God's sake, can't a woman wreak a little havoc without there being a man involved?

D: You know, in a perfect world, Angel would be here right now, helping me burn this city to the ground. This is *his* job I'm doing. But where is he? Probably flogging himself in a church somewhere.
Dr: Ooh. Flogging. Eww. Churches.

Dr: I see such pretty fire.
D: Fire . . . conflagration. In a perfect world, there'd be nothing left here but ashes.
Dr: And pain. So much suffering. The flames are lovely. They dance, and the fire licks like a cat. And the screams, oh, it's like star music.
D: That's nice, Dru. Now hurry up. We can't be late.

C: Always the same. A smelly old abandoned building. Are there no demon hide-outs in Beverly Hills?
W: Several.

W: I'm fine. It's just . . . we should go before I pass out. Or possibly during.

G: This thing nearly ripped us to shreds.
C: Yeah, but out of everybody here, which one of us is the dead one?

Dr: Oh, it's beautiful, dark and dank. It reeks of death.
D: That's motor oil, Dru.
Dr: Can we buy it? It could be our castle.
D: There's no view. Plus, we're broke.

Dr: Ten little soldiers all in a line. A shot rings out, (clap) down to nine.

Dr: Dead already? Bad soldiers.

Dr: A shadow. . . .

D: Who was that?

Ht: Both of you have been extremely negligent about informing us of visits from certain . . . ladies who, lest we forget, ate the majority of our Contracts department.

Ht: As for your relationship to on another: your competition is vicious, destructive . . . and healthy. We think you keep each other on your toes. Which is why we've decided to appoint you both as joint, acting, Co-Vice Presidents until such time as we see fit to . . . "narrow it down."

W: I thought you might like to know we're keeping the agency open, with or without you. You may have turned your back on your mission. But we haven't. Someone has to fight the good fight.
A: (V.O.) Let them fight the good fight. Someone has to fight the war.