Cop #1: Tell us what happened.
W: It all went horribly wrong.

W: What happened to your head?
C: Excuse me?
W: You hair? It's . . . new. It's great! When did this happen?
C: Ten days ago.

W: Of course. I didn't want. . . to embarrass you by--
C: Noticing?

W: Have you seen Angel? I thought we might check on him. He doesn't seem to be doing much with his time lately.
C: Au contraire. His day is packed: Brood about Darla, brood about Darla -- lunch! -- followed by a little Darla brooding.

W: Right. Enough is enough. I'm going to march up there and tell him just that.
[Stands]
C: Nice posturing.
W: Thank you!

C: Gunn's cousin got involved in something pretty big. Big meaning illegal.

C: Time to traipse off to your shallow, soul-sucking Hollywood party?
W: Premiere, actually. And, uh, I happen to have an extra ticket.
C: Who does shallow better than me!?

Lester: He cool, right?
G: He's cool.
Lester: You know, not that I'm prejudiced. I just hate vampires.
A: You're enlightened. I can tell.

G: And what I'm supposed to do? Stay home and knit?
A: I could use a sweater. Something dark.

K: Don't suppose you'd testify against her in a blindingly sunny court of law?
A: Don't suppose you have a search warrant?

K: I will find her, Angel. You can be sure of that. And when I do, she's toast.
A: She's human now, remember?
K: Toast with life in prison.

K: Afraid I'll get hurt?
A: No. I'm afraid you'll get killed. I'm just telling you this so you won't.
K: Me, dead. I guess I'd kind of be like you, then, wouldn't I?
A: Let's try this one more time. You get stuck between me and Darla, and it'll be the last thing you ever do.

W: Really, the stain, it. . . it's hardly noticeable.
A: Cordelia, what happened?
C: It's not blood, it's cocktail sauce. Courtesy of Mr. Star Schmoozer here.
A: I mean to your head. Your hair! Well, it looks great! When did this happen?
W: Ten days ago. Pay attention!
A: Why doesn't anybody ever tell me this stuff?

W: We, uh, had a little mishap. With the little shrimp? And the sauce. And her dress.
A: You were at a party.
C: You know, party . . . soiree. . . night of the thousand humiliations.
W: I spilled it on her in front of Mr. Fat Chow . . . Chow.
C: Chow. Yun. Fat.
A: You met Chow Yun-Fat?!?

W: This is wonderful! You-- You're on a case! You're back!
C: Yeah! It'll be just like old times, right, Angel? Meeting evil, face to face, kicking evil's booty! Wes and I'll crank up the research machine and you'll . . . what will you do again?

A: They're bringing in a vampire from Las Vegas tonight. His name's Jay Don. He's got a rep. If he's involved; it's a big heist.
W: I've heard of him. Isn't he a. . .
C: Deadly killer?
W: Well, that, of course. But I was about to say a loud, flashy sort of character.

C: How loud and flashy?
W: Uh, I believe he's quite the extrovert.
[They look at Angel. In his all black.]
A: What?
W: Well, I'm sure you can pull it off. You're. . . colorful.

A: Hey, can I see the glasses?
Jay: Nobody touches the glasses or the hair, doll.

A: And what is that piece of junk?
MB1: You're funny vampire.
A: Whoa, whoa, we need to talk, bro. Two things bringin' in the chicks -- the 'do and the ride.
MB1: Get in.
A: I hope I don't see anybody I know.

Bob: Vampires wig me.
MB2: You feel like a meal?

A: Hey, don't tell me. You must be Bob, the Security Guard. And you're a great big. . . monster, aren't you?
MB1: This is Jay Don. He talks too much.
A: I'm a people person.

A: Like the shirt. Where'd you get that? Ed's Big and Spiney?

MB2: He's funny. You're funny. You'll be even funnier when I crush your head.
A: Funny ha-ha, or funny peculiar?

MB1: Where's Lester?
A: Yeah! Where's Lester? We can't get the ball rolling without Lester. Who's Lester?
A: I hate waiting. [Looks at Bob] Got anybody to eat around here?

A: What kind of name is Lester, anyways, huh? Norwegian? Finnish?

C: Museums, museums. Okay, we've got the MOCA. We've got the LACMA. Ooo, The Gene Autry! Well, it could be a magical stuffed horse.
W: Let's assume not and try natural history.

C: Site map, membership, museum shop. . . . Don't they have a section like, "Things You Might Wanna Steal"?

W: Click on recent acquisitions. Right there. There!
C: I've got it. Sheesh, backseat surfer.

C: Okay, two words I don't like right off the bat: tomb and unearth. People, you've gotta leave your tombs earthed.

C: I'm not big on shrouds. They're an after-you-die outfit.

C: Why is it always virgin women who have to do the sacrificing?
W: For purity, I suppose.
C: This has nothing to do with purity. This is all about dominance, buddy. You can bet if someone ordered a male part for religious sacrifice, the world would be atheist like that.

C: You said Rahmon was a drive-you-mad kind of fella?
W: Hmmm.
C: I hate it when you do that.

C: So, in order to take his mind off the torment that is Darla, we sent Angel after a box that makes you crazy.

MB2: Humans always gotta feel something about everything. They always gotta tell ya about it. "I'm so happy. I'm so sad. I'm so scared." Makes me sick.
A: I don't know, doc. I like it when they're scared. Makes 'em taste kinda . . . salty!
MB2: Did I ask for your opinion, you overgrown leech?!
A: Altoids! Aisle Four!

G: When they gonna start makin' some pretty demons?

W: I'm feeling a little. . . .
C: Me, too. I think it's the altitude.
W: Right. The altitude here at sea level.

A: Try holding up your corner, Les.
G: Who died and made you corner monitor?
MB2: Are you two gonna get married or what?

A: You know, I'm getting kinda tired of this Vampires Killed My Sister So Now I'm All Entitled song. Don't you know anything else? Like, say, McArthur Park?

Bob: It's ropin' time! Tonight, I'll be playing the part of the poor defenseless calf. Who gets to be the cowboy?

Bob: Gotta look real. I'm not the bad guy; I'm the good guy!
A: I'm the good guy! No, wait. I'm the bad guy.

W: That's why I'm here. To warn Angel about. . . something. . . important. Your hair!
K: You're here to warn Angel about my hair?
W: It's blonde!

W: The shroud. He's got to know about the shroud. It will make everybody. . . . It makes everybody act differently.
C: My teeth are soooo big. I . . . am . . . pleasant.

W: I noticed your hair right away!

C: Oh! Hello plastic person! You're all by your lonesome in here. So, I guess you won't be needing this.

W: The shroud. Very dangerous. It makes people *bad,* although it's amazing how good I feel!

W: Is that Gunn? What's he doing here? I never thought of him as the museum type.

A: Wow! Look at you, rushing in here all by yourself. You're the best cop ever.

A: You got me. My life of crime is over. I'm going down. But first, a little impression! "I'm a cop on a mission to protect the innocent and rain on everybody's parade and obsess about my father's death and bother people who are about to steal things!"

A: Katie! What are you afraid of? Is it this? [Vamps out] Is it the part where I kill you? Cuz I gotta tell you, I love that in a woman!

MB2: What now?
MB1: Open it!
A: Oh, that's genius. Good thing we didn't think of that back at the old museum, miss out on all this swell heavy lifting.

W: I don't think he's coming down.
C: Hmmm.
W: I don't think recent events did him a lot of good.
C: Again, a hearty hmmm.
W: We had every good intention, of course.
C: Right. Sending him into the path of a crazy-making, one-way-ticket-to-evil-town death cloth. Good plan.

W: It's not the shroud's effect on him that worry me as much as. . .
C: What? My stealing? I returned everything. I *swear.*

W: Angel drank human blood. From a living person. Something he hasn't done in a very long time.
C: So, on top of everything else, we may have reawakened his blood lust?
W: Yes.
C: Hmmm. Full day's work then.
W: I think so.