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Disclaimer: All BTVS and Angel characters are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
All Star Trek: TNG characters are property of Rick Berman and Paramount Pictures.

Worf: Captain, we are receiving an unusual reading.
Picard: Wouldn’t be the first time. We’re still trying to figure out just who shot us out into the 21st century.
Worf: It’s coming from a town called Sunnydale. Earth, Southern California.
Picard: Life signs?
Worf: Strange, sir. Some life signs, but others in the negative.
Picard: Un-life signs?
Worf: That would be a correct assumption, sir.
Picard: Oh, merde. We’ve come careening into another UPN show. Now what is Starfleet going to think of this?
Geordi: Well, at least we’ll have some interesting First Contact stories. Orders, sir?
Picard: Take us down. Deanna, take the conn. And don’t crash the ship this time.

Xander: I’m telling ya, Buff. It’s way too dangerous.
Buffy: Xander, I have to try.
Xander: But at what cost? Buffy, we can’t risk it!
Buffy: I don’t care. I’m using pesticide on those dandelions whether you like it or not.
Xander: You’re supposed to be fighting evil, Buff. Not using it.
Buffy: Well, I used Spike, didn’t I? Um… hey, what’s that?
Xander: That’s pesticide. Bad, bad pesticide.
Buffy: No, I mean that *points*
Xander: Um, is Willow throwing another ball of fire at us?
Buffy: If so, we have to tell Kennedy to stop her pierced-tongue tricks.
Willow: I heard that!

*CRASH*
Xander: Owie.
Buffy: And did you hear that?
Willow: What? I think my ears are broken.
Picard: Well, our ship is broken too.
Buffy: Great. Not only does my house get broken on a regular basis, but now my lawn too.
Xander: Well, at least it takes care of those dandelions.
Buffy: What happened?
Picard: We let Troi drive.
Willow: Coulda been worse. Coulda been Buffy at the wheel.
Buffy: Quiet, you.

Buffy: So what are you guys doing in this part of… space?
Riker: We’re looking for the Borg Queen.
Willow: Oh, no!!!
Buffy: He said Borg, Will. Not Bored.
Xander: Oh, Bored Now. I get it. Ha-ha.
Willow: Warren laughed too.
Xander: *Gulp*
Riker: Captain, I recommend we keep phasers on stun.

Buffy: Hey, maybe you could help us! We’re fighting vampires!
Picard: So that’s what the un-life signs are all about…
Worf: Vampires have NO honor!
Spike: You got that right, mate.

Worf: I will now train you in the art of the bath’leth.
Buffy: The what-leth? Ooooo, shiny!!!
Worf: Please watch. *Swing swing swoosh cut swoosh*
Dawn: Hey, I want to try the bath’leth! *swing swing cut cut SMASH*
Buffy: LAMP!!!
Dawn: Oopsie.
Worf: You’ve dishonored yourself, the lamp and the bath’leth.
Dawn: Dishonored myself?
Buffy: On more occasions than once.
Dawn: Meh.

Buffy: Here they come.
Riker: Ready phasers.
Buffy: These things? Never useful. Hey, why are the vampires so rigid?
Riker: Oh, no.
Picard: They’ve been taking lessons from the Borg Queen.
Vampires: WE ARE THE VAMPIRES. LOWER YOUR STAKES AND PREPARE TO BE DRAINED. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
Buffy: Bummer.
Picard: Don’t let them touch you!!!
Buffy: That goes without saying.

Buffy: Uh-oh. We’re outnumbered. So what do we do now, Trek-guys?
Picard: Unveil the secret weapon.
Wesley Crusher: Hey everyone! Miss me?
Vampires: GAAAKKK!!! *Run*

Buffy: Hey, we’ve won!
Picard: Not quite. We still haven’t found the Borg Queen.
Borg Queen: When I’m done wriggling my torso into this tight catwoman suit, I’m coming after you all.
Buffy: Oooo, veiny!
Willow: Hey, I can be veiny too.
Dawn: WILLOW, NO!!!
Willow: *Woosh* Bored now.
Borg Queen: Drats, I’ve been outclassed. Oh well, I’ll still assimilate you now.
Willow: Abracadabra. *ZAP*
Borg Queen: GAK! *croak*
Picard: Well, that takes care of that.
Willow: You want to take the skin with you to the 24th century, or can I eat it?
Buffy: Willow, you can’t! It’s full of metal and screws!
Willow: Well, I’ll be needing a toothpick or two afterwards, so that works out.
Riker: I think we’ll be going now.


*Grrrr… arrrghh man stows away in the Enterprise as it flies away*