Email me: sergiusmagnus@hotmail.com Joss: Buffy? What’re you doing here at Mutant Enemy’s office?
Disclaimer: All BTVS and Angel characters are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Buffy: Ssshhh. I’m looking for the killer.
Joss: The killer? What killer?
Buffy: The killer in ME. That’s the title of the episode, isn’t it?
Joss: *sigh* Buffy, we didn’t mean ME, we meant me…
Buffy: You??? I knew it!!! *WHACK*
Spike: Buffy…
Buffy: …?
Spike: Ow.
Buffy: Ow? I’m not even touching you!
Spike: Ow, ow ow ow!
Buffy: Is looking at me so horrible? Is that it?
Spike: EEAAAAGGGHHH!!!
Buffy: It’s the hair, isn’t it? I have mom hair?
Willow: Hey, I brought you some nice… boots?
Kennedy: Well, if you’re not going to wear the combat boots, I will. *wink wink*
Willow: And here I was being nice and bringing you some tea.
Kennedy: Ah, lesbian tea, made of sugar n’ spice n’ everything nice…
Willow: *spill* *CRASH*
Kennedy: Please stay! …you’re sexy when you pout.
Willow: OK. I’m staying for one drink.
Kennedy: Yay!
Willow: You took the cherry from my drink! I love having the cherry! *pout*
Kennedy: Well, duh, I did say you were sexy when you pout.
Buffy: I need to speak with Agent Finn. What? This is a flower shop??? Not an evil army commando place?
Spike: Yeah, well hurry up, because this chip is blooming. Eeaaaarrgh!!!
Buffy: *click* Stupid government conspiracy.
Spike: Maybe they’re genetically-engineered flowers.
Willow: So how did you know I was gay? I mean, I didn’t even know there was a way to tell…
Kennedy: Easy. You just look for the extra place that’s shaved.
Willow: *CRASH* Oh look, my drink is finished. Bye!
Willow: Eeek! I’m a murderous guy! Eeek!
Kennedy: Do something, do something!!!
Willow: Hecate, I beseech you…
Hecate: No way. Forget it.
Willow: What? But why?
Hecate: Remember that little male-to-female spell you bungled?
Willow: But that was months ago!
Hecate: Just call it poetic justice.
Willow: As soon as I buy a gun I’m coming after you.
Willow: I’m Willow!!!
Buffy: *PUNCH* Ow!
Willow: See? I’m human!
Buffy: You’re Warren. And you’re a gal.
Willow: Well, I…
Buffy: Must be those magic balls of yours I broke last season *chortle*
Willow: Very funny. Say, don’t you have a pain-wracked vampire to worry about?
Spike: Um, hi.
Commando leader: Miss Summers? You tried to contact Agent Finn earlier.
Buffy: Uh, yeah, I did.
Commando leader: He told us to give you this.
Buffy: FLOWERS???
Commando leader: Hey, they’re beautiful roses. Fresh from your friendly Initiative florist.
Giles: AAAAHH! *Crash*
Xander, Dawn, Anya and Andrew: *Feel feel feel feel feel!*
Giles: Oh, drats. You all discovered my secret.
Xander: No, you can’t be. We just felt you, and you’re not.
Giles: Oh, but I am, I swear I am.
Anya: But how…
Giles: I tell you, I really was a founding member of The Who.
Xander: *groan*
Giles: What? No more Beatle-esque veneration and hysteria? Didn’t you want a piece of my coat? An autograph? Anything?
Dawn: *groan* Where’s a Bringer when you need one?
Kennedy: Why’d you do this? You really hate her that much?
Amy: It’s not about hate…
Kennedy: Then why?
Amy: SHE ALWAYS GETS THE LOVE SCENES!!! *SOB*
Kennedy: Awwww, well listen, once Willow is back, you can have Warren.
Amy: Hey, wait, I just remembered… I’m evil. Go join her.
Kennedy: *POOF*
Kennedy: How do you feel?
Willow: I’m not sure… I’m tired.
Kennedy: C’mon. I’ll make you a nice cup of tea… Made of…
Willow: If you’re about to say what I think you are, I swear I’ll pick up that gun.
Giles: So, what else happened while I was gone?
Xander: Willow kissed Kennedy and became Warren.
Giles: Oh, my. I believe this episode should have been called The Kisser in Me.
Willow: I heard that!