Disclaimer: All BTVS and Angel characters are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Fred: Um, Angel…
Angel: Yeah?
Fred: What are you doing standing in that silly posture?
Angel: I’m slouching.
Fred: Why?
Angel: Well, this episode is called Slouching Towards Bethlehem. So I’m slouching.
Fred: Actually, you’re slouching the wrong way. Bethlehem is over there.
Angel: Drats. There goes my teaser.

Angel: Cordelia!
Cordelia: Who are you people?
Fred: Uh oh, I think she has amnesia…
Angel: Nah, she’s just playing hard to get!
Cordelia: Get away from me!
Angel: Oooh yeah baby. She wants me big time.

Fred: Lucky Cordelia can’t see us with all this kid blood splattered all over us.
Gunn: Yeah. I don’t know how we’d cover up for the Black Mass and the Sacrifices to Belzebub. *snicker*
Fred: Gunn! It’s not funny! She could hear us!
Gunn: Alright, alright… Listen, as long as she doesn’t see us, or Angel’s six-pack, or that funny demon who does Japanese origami with his mouth, we’ll be fine.
Cordelia: Funny, I seem to remember something about routinely blocking my ears.

Ninja: BANZAI!!!
Cordelia: Aaargh! Help! I’m being attacked by ninjas!!!
Gunn: Actually, they’re lawyers.
Cordelia: Lawyers???
Ninja: Yeah… we practice martial law. *snicker*
Fred: Lorne, quick, we need help!
Lorne: Hem hem… “Everybody was kung-fu figh-tiiiiinnng!”
Ninja: Oh drats! It’s our song. Now we have to dance.
Cordelia: I’m starting to think maybe I chose not to remember you people.

Connor: That’s one of my favourite statues.
Cordelia: It’s really nice. But… you live in a museum?
Connor: Yeah… in the ceiling just over the Greek statues of nude women.
Cordelia: Why do I have the name “Xander” floating around in my head despite the memory loss?

Lorne: Angel, we’re in grave danger. Have you ever heard the expression “Slouching towards Bethlehem”?
Angel: Sure. That’s why I’ve been slouching south since the beginning of the show.
Lorne: South??? Angel, Bethlehem is east!
Angel: What? We’re not talking about Bethlehem, New Mexico? Damn. Somebody get me a compass, so I can slouch in the right direction!
Lorne: We’re doomed.

Connor: Do you mind if I put my hand on your chest?
Cordelia: Not if you don’t mind scraping your sorry excuse for a body off the ceiling.
Connor: It’ll improve the ratings.
Cordelia: Oh well, I suppose I can blame it on memory loss. But I still say it’s the most appalling way to attract ratings I’ve ever taken part in.
Xander: Damn. I’ve been outclassed.

Wesley: Lilah, where are you going? To the bathroom?
Lilah: That’s right, honey. Now just go back to sleep so I can use my cell phone conversation to leak information to you and manipulate you into thinking you’re helping Angel.
Wesley: And you think I’m going to fall for it?
Lilah: Isn’t that your job description?
Wesley: Right. Talk away. I’m all ears.

Cordelia: Oh my God! I let Connor touch my breast! The little baby Connor I held in my arms! Aaaargh, the Freudian issues!!!
Connor: Relax. It’s just a breast. A baby-feeding appendage.
Cordelia: Oh no, more Freudian issues!
Dr. Freud: Ah, but you muss remember, zometimes ein zigar ist only ein zigar…
Angel: On this show? Never.
Head Ninja Lawyer: You people make me sick.

Fred: Cordy, maybe you should come with us.
Gunn: Yeah. I mean, I don’t think Connor can protect you by himself.
Fred: Plus, we have to get you two apart before the audience totally freaks out.
Angel: Yeah, Cordy. You know you belong with me. *wink wink*
Cordelia: Get your hands off me, you bumpy-headed freak!
Angel: Ooooh yeah baby. She wants me big time.
Dr. Freud: Veeeeeery interezting. *takes notes*

Angel: Lorne, what happened???
Lorne: It was Wolfram & Hart’s ninja lawyers… They came back…
Fred: Didn’t you sing “Kung Fu Fighting” to ward them off?
Lorne: I tried, but they had a weapon… a terrible weapon…
Gunn: What?
Lorne: Sunnydale duct tape.
Fred: GASP!!!
Angel: Those lawyers are evil.

Dr. Freud: Zoooo, Mister Angel, tell me about your childhood, ja?
Angel: Well, I think it all started because the other kids were all laughing at my hair…

Grrr… arrrgh.