He awoke in the darkened cave, his chest aching, his body beaten and bloodied. The dank and musty hovel reeked of burnt flesh, filth and decay. His body laid flat on it's back, hard against the cold, unyielding earth. He tried to rise but his muscles would not permit the action. Swollen slits that once were the blue eyes on his chiseled face appeared as black bruised plums, obviously due the beating he must have endured to end up at death's door. He lifted his tender torso with much effort, and pulled himself into a sitting position. Searching the darkness for illumination, his eyes found nothing but a single torch flickering in the distance. Still, in the blackness of the cave, his swollen eyes seemed very well suited for vision. In all reality he should have been completely blind without the aid of his spectacles. Yet through all this darkness he could effortlessly make out the movements of the myriad of insects, rodents and flying mammals that were his roommates in this unlikely dwelling. Were caves such as these common place in the city of London? The gang of thieves that he surely must have encountered on his way home to Mother had certainly dragged him quite a distance. His thoughts shifted towards Mother: frigid, callous, Bitch. "There will be hell to pay when I get home", he thought. Not only had he lost his clothes, spectacles and money, but he was most definitely late for dinner. The cold, unforgiving woman would have him feeling guilty for months for this latest failure. Like countless other things that have burdened her pampered existence, neither he nor his good for nothing, dreamer of a father was ever enough. They were always somehow, beneath her. This lecture was given with military precision on a daily basis from the banshee. She could drill the feeling of incompetence into God, if she had enough time with Him, or for Him. This thought made him laugh. His chuckle echoing through the dark cavern returned his thoughts back to his current predicament.

He knew that he needed to make an effort to get himself out of this situation; before the thugs returned to pulverize the last bit of life he had left in his being. His body ached but he still could not clear his head from the fog that pervaded his senses. He must have endured quite a blow to the ole' noggin' to wake in such a state. He felt as if had slept for a century or more. His mind, so clouded with dreams of horrors he never could have imagined. Monsters, demons, gods and a lifetime of wandering. His half naked, bruised and battered body stood up with great effort. He stumbled using the damp, slick, guano covered walls of the cave for support. He muttered, "Oh my head my aching head". He lifted one sore and bloodied hand to his brow. He must have put up a good fight, he thought to himself, with some amount of pride, as he examined his bruised, bleeding and tender fists. " I did not know you had it in you old boy," he quietly muttered to himself, musing at the thought of fighting off the band of thieves. He wished he could have remembered the brawl. It may very well have been his finest hour, during this miserable, uneventful existence. His thoughts, his imagination, made him feel alive for the first time. He really could not recall any event that gave him the same feeling of satisfaction, the same thrill. There was nothing memorable in this dull existence, that was his pathetic life.

In truth the last real thing that he could recall, was having his heart smashed to pieces by his beloved Cecily and of course, those boars. Vulgarians at that insufferable party. How dare they insult his mind? He was a good man! He would prove to those ignorant, insensitive monsters that he was not a force to be reckoned with. He would enact his revenge on those that had dared to insult his mind, imagination and heart. 'He walks in worlds the others cannot dare to imagine'. His pain and anger welled in him, bringing forth the rage of a monster long held by a mental chain. He could feel his facial features begin to shift. The fear that surfaced in his conscious halted the transformation. He fell to his knees cradling his face in his bloodied and beaten hands.

"Oh my dear God in heaven". Like a tidal wave from hell, his demon life washed back into realization. Running into the beautifully dark and luscious stranger. Having her approach him, bringing up his suppressed desires, emotions and rage. Ah yes "Oh god Yes". The ecstasy, the joy, the bliss, the blackness. Then the abyss. Thoughts swirling, melding with the new, old, past and present. Waves of memories crashed and echoed through his mind, creating nausea no high seas could possibly inspire. Almost as suddenly as the waves took him to the sea, the wave of memory dashed him on the rocky shore. One thought, one word rang louder than any bell ever heard : VAMPIRE!

Merciful God in heaven! He cried into the shadows, "I am that demon. I am William the Bloody. Spike". These were not nightmares from a beating, these were memories. My memories. I did enact my revenge. I did become the vengeful warrior. After they found me, I rose to my new power. I had my revenge, haunted my tormentors. Visions of Gerald, smug, cold dead eyes staring back at him. His head bashed in, the railroad spike driven through his skull. Oh what a happy turn of events this is.

For a long time he sat with his head buried in his hands, reliving his adventures with the lovely yet deadly Drusilla. The sights, sounds and faces of the thousands of victims flashed through his mind. Oh the blood, the blood. He would never erase the stains from his mind. He wept for his loss. He wept for his love. He wept for his pain. He wept .

When the tears finally ceased, his shoulders aching from the heaving they had endured, he looked up and saw a small, oddly dressed man. Standing about five feet in the shadows, looking right at him. He stared hard at the figure and watched him drag on a cigarette. The red glow from the lit end gave an odd, warm illumination to the man's face. Once the little man noticed him staring, he finally spoke.

"I thought you were never going to stop that blubbering Willy my boy".

He walked to his side and offered his hand. "Come now, you have lots to do and so little time for all this emotion". Pulling the confused demon to his feet,

The odd man hollered upward, as is he was speaking to someone, "Do I have to get all the crummy jobs this place has to offer? Just once I want a real warrior, not some hopeless, hollowed out shell-shocked demon. Come on now Willy. Dry your tears. I am here to help you be all you can be". He said with a grin.

"I'm your fucking guardian angel. Lucky me, right mate? The answer to your prayers. Allow me to introduce myself. Whistler's the name, redemption's the game".
Part 2: The walk back to redemption

William accepted Whistler's hand up, and a cigarette. He bent to the little man with the yellow eyes for a light and as he drew the acrid smoke into his lungs he realized that it was the first time he had drawn breath since he had regained consciousness. He looked at this "Whistler" in amazement and was stunned by the speed and volume of words the demon could use to express a single thought. Whistler rambled on, for what felt like an eternity in hell. Prattling on and on, complaining about his lot in life. And the afterlife.

"Not a descent assignment has been given to me since that one little mistake with the vengeance demon. How was I to know she had parental issues and would turn to the dark side? Am I a friggin' psychic, I ask you? The psychic hot line for the powers that be? I mean they ARE the powers that be after all. They HAVE the oracles for craps sake? Can't they read their own press releases?
But no, now he was supposed to be this sad excuse for a warrior's Clarence all Frank Capra and everything".

Whistler grinned, his gray teeth shinning through the smirk. He looked up at William, smacking him hard on his bruised, healing back, he snidely remarked, "You had a wonderful afterlife Willy my boy, but now it's time to pay the fiddler for that shiny new soul of yours, my fine enlightened fellow. You have a job to do. The women of Sunny D need your great warrior powers to stand at their side. You have a mission. You're on a real live mission of redemption my vampiric fiend!"

William glared back at Whistler.

"Yeah, yeah I have heard and said it all once before. A good guy, on a mission of redemption. That damned Willow and her spells. Seems like they always effected him in some bloody mad way". That fleeting, random thought made William's heart sink. Buffy. His mind echoed with all the words he heard from her...

"It would never be you Spike. You are beneath me".

"The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious".

"I could never be your girl".

"It's over. I am using you".

"Now you know why I could never love you".

It was an endless record in his mind, one that never broke. Her repeated damnation of him, conjured the same feeling's his mother had instilled when she had belittled him a century ago. Never good enough. Always the loser. The dreamer. He would prove her wrong. He would show her that he could be what she needed, what she wanted. The Slayer could deny him no longer. She craved him now, and he was worthy. He deserved this, this one true love, a love no other could stake claim too. He was a part of her, he was sure of it.

He walked out of the cave into the cool night air, accompanied by Whistler's diatribe of virtue. The image of her face haunting him, her essence floating through his thoughts. Their last encounter slashed a deeper wound than the thousand images of victims passed. He needed to move forward, move on. If he were to ever accomplish any good, he had to want to do good. As this thought entered his mind he stopped, stood deadly still and allowed it to echo in his psyche. He had a choice now. As this revelation flooded his consciousness, he exhaled the last puff of smoke and watched the remnants dissipate into the star lit sky.

Whistler sensed the change in William. Pausing his incessant yammering he became still and looked at the figure fixed in place like a marble statue.

"You finally got it? Right pal? Now this time it's your choice. Get on your bike, go home and start fresh. Strength, power, skill and now that pesky soul. Take these 'gifts' and use 'em. Actions now are yours alone. You can inflict harm or healing in this bright new world. The decision my friend is up to you. Pretty slick huh?"

William looked down at the strange little man. He was an odd choice for a guardian angel, but one he probably deserved.

"I have one question for you Clarence. Will they know? I mean about my soul?"

Whistler responded with ambiguity . "In time, in time. Hell what do you care? You're immortal right? You got all the time in the world". With that, he let out a snorting laugh and vanished with the words. "I'll be seeing you in time, Mr. Bailey".

William picked up the few belongings in his tent and drank a goat for the road. God, he missed the taste of real blood, hell at least it was warm and fresh. Maybe he should take up raising stock. He mused at the thought of himself as a gentleman farmer, literally eating his profit. Yeah, with his luck he'd get mad cow disease and end up like Dru! With these deliberations, he jumped on his bike and roared off into the night. Headed home for a new dawn, one filled with possibilities.





Part 3: The long way home

The bike roared through the darkness, throwing dust and rocks off the wheels. The purr of the engine reminded William of an antiquated sewing machine. How he loved the sound of the old BMW's hum. He shook his head. Who exactly loved that sound Spike or William? Bloody hell, motorbikes were not even around when William exited the picture. The vibrations of the road and the coming of daybreak lulled him into thoughts of his future. A demon trapped by a soul? How was this different from that sodding chip those tin soldiers had given him? Or was he an immortal man, some great warrior on the road of righteousness? These anxieties echoed endlessly inside his mind, until the threat of the sun made it impossible to continue his journey. He sought refugee in a Days Inn of all places.

He walked into the lobby and was eyed suspiciously by the sleepy clerk, who finally handed over a room key, as William surrendered the last of his cash. He left strict instructions not to be disturbed and headed to his temporary refuge. He found sleep, curled in the bathtub of the locked bathroom.

It came in fits and nightmares, his dreams haunted by faces of the past. Many times during his day slumber he awoke to the sound of his own echoing screams. Muttering to himself "No wonder Angelus was all Anne Rice. Christ this shit can wear a good man down", he rose to rinse his face in the sink. He was shocked into silence at the lack of his own reflection in the mirror. Jumping back he screamed, "Bloody hell! Forgot about that side effect of immortality".

He undressed and shook his dust-laden clothes out, placing them on the bed.

"I need a shower".

He unwrapped the tiny soap bars, "fine milled my arse! Yeah right, and I am the bleeding Prince of Wales". Well at least the soul hadn't stolen his sense of the absurd. Or his humor.

The warm water mixed with the fragrant soap refreshed his senses and warmed his aching, cold body, reminding him of her warmth. Still sensing her touch, awakening a deep longing to see her again. If only she knew. What would she think of me now? Looking towards the shower ceiling he yelled out,

"would she be so eager to forgive me as she did Angel? God that guy got all the breaks!" The thought drove him mad. Even Dru. Two timing Bitch. Was anyone really meant to be his and his alone? "Soul mate my arse!"

He finished up his shower and toweled off. His hard, perfect body was almost completely healed save for a small cut above his left eye and some tender knuckles on his left fist. He shook his head and mused, "Modern medicine has nothing on me. I'm in the best shape of my life".
Laughing he threw the towel down on the floor and flopped onto the bed, reaching for the remote. "Let's see what's on the telly. Gotta kill another hour or more before sunset". Mindlessly he flipped the channels until he lulled into an uneasy sleep. He tossed with dreams of her running ahead. He chased after her, long blonde hair swinging with each step. The familiar voice calling to him "come get me Spike! Catch me if you can, for I am meant for you and you alone". Her giggle and playful run made him chase faster, harder until he reached for her, his fingers almost touching her shoulder. Then just as she was about to turn and face him, her hair swung soft as silk through his hand and she slipped from sight, vanishing in a flash of illumination.

With that he bolted awake, wiping his brow.

He took a deep breath and exhaled as though this would somehow help shake the memory.

He dressed himself, left the room and walked through the lobby, tossing the key at the clerk on his way out. "Thanks chum". With that said, he headed off into the parking lot and kick started his bike, riding off into the dusk, knowing that within a matter of hours he would be home in his crypt. Somehow the thought of the crypt as home rang absurd. Plush digs indeed.

Riding into town from the highway he felt a rush of familiarity surge through him. He fought the urge to run a fly by her house and headed straight into the cemetery to regroup. He pulled up to his crypt, but paused a second after shutting down the engine. Voices. His vampire senses at full strength, he pulled the bike off into the bushes and crouched near a headstone listening .

"Well gosh, thanks for checking on me. That whole Rack and Willow thing just gave this demon the willies. I am just not meant as a fighter. I am more of the cuddly type".

"Well, just thought I would check on you. I kinda bullied you into taking me there and felt pretty guilty about the whole thing".

"Yeah I heard the struggle, then Buffy came in and I figured time for 'ole Clem to exit. I would only be in the way".

"Hey Clem you're never in the way. You are always welcome over at our house. We still have yet to see the 'Wedding Planner' right? Well I gotta be going. Buffy will be getting worried if I stay out too late. She is still uncomfortable with me doing the patrolling thing. Bye Clem".

"See ya later Dawn, and thanks again for the microwave popcorn".

Hearing the exchange, William slipped back into the shadows. He watched Dawn, somehow older and taller, exit his crypt and walk confidently away disappearing into the night. The thought of following her occurred to him, just to make sure she would be safe, but somehow he knew she could handle herself now.

He made his way with the motorcycle down into the crypt. He startled Clem and almost made him drop the bowl of newly popped goodies.

"Hey, Look who's back. You just missed Dawn". Clem really looked at Spike and noticed that something was not quite the same with his old friend.

"Man you look beat and um different". Staring hard at Spike,

Clem backed away from the microwave and focused his attention on the person before him. Just then a rush of fear and panic spread though every last fold in his body. The thoughts that ran through his head made his flesh shiver, wobbling with anxiety. "Oh Jesus your eyes say it all. You're not Spike anymore... are you?... William?... You're not gonna hurt me?... are you man?... I mean you're not.. ".

"For fucks sake Clem, relax. I' m not gonna eat you. Christ can't a guy have a spiritual makeover without his friends freaking out?" Exasperated, he slumped into a chair. "Toss me something from the fridge would ya? I'm famished".

A wave of relief washed over the demon's floppy eared face. "Man, Spike you really scared me for a second". Clem threw William a pint of O neg from the fridge. "So how was your trip? Successful I see".

William tore into the bag and sucked the blood. "It was a long way home Clem, a long way home".



Part 4: Changes

As Dawn exited the crypt, leaving Clem to his late night TV she glanced back at the entrance and experienced the odd sensation as if someone watching her. Shrugging it off as paranoia, she walked on, hair swinging and reached in her pocket, gripping her stake a little tighter. Whispering to the night air, "Better safe then sorry".

Buffy had been really great this past week. Taking an interest in her life for the first time. She took to capitalizing on Dawn's new found courage and strength and had decided to train her a bit. She had allowed her to patrol with her and even let her patrol alone, after she did an initial sweep of the area of course. Dawn cherished her time with Buffy, wanting desperately to be more important in her life, less like a burden.

Dawn rounded the corner of her street and entered her house to find Buffy in deep conversation with Xander.

"How'd patrolling go Dawn?"

"Fine. I stopped by to check on Clem. He was still a little shaken after last week. Things seemed kinda dull tonight".

Buffy looked down at the floor, "Spike back yet?"

Xander shot a look at Buffy. As their eyes met. She sensed the contempt and astonishment in his glare. It said it all. What was it with that guy? What kind of hold had he on her? Was it some genetic flaw that was unique to Summer's women? This would forever be a sore point with Xander something buried but never forgotten. Or forgiven.

Buffy knew in her heart that Spike was no good for her. That she could never really love him. But still something ached for him. She longed for his return and the thought of him, his touch ricocheted deep within her. There was no 'Spike patch' to quell her craving. She would just have to continue cold turkey if she was ever going to move on.

Dawn replied, looking at the hard stare between Xander and her sister. "Nope, no word yet. Sorry Buffy".

She could sense her sister's feelings for Spike. Hell she missed him too. He made her feel safe and warm when he was near. Like her protector, sent from above. She knew that was silly, but he always seemed to be the one there for her. Her stalwart, standing strong. With this holding firm in her conscious, she smiled inside feeling protected, warm and confident.

"Night Buffy, Xander I'm off to bed".

"Night Dawn", they called back in unison.

Xander turned to look at the slayer curiously, "Patrol? Really? Come on Buff ..."

Anticipating his next words Buffy cut him off in mid sentence, his mouth left gaping open. "No, don't say it. I know, but she is a natural. Reflexes, strength and instinct. She performs better in the field than Riley".

"But she is so young".

Buffy snapped back , "Hey I was her age when I got this gig. I never had the advantages of starting out all ancient and mystical".

"But you're the Slayer not Dawn". Confident that, that would stop this ridiculous behavior on Buffy's part, Xander raised his eyebrows at her.

"She is made from me, made from my blood, Xander. The girl has potential".

The statement rang true and was left to hang, floating about in the air as if it were a secret truth they all shared, but rarely discussed. If the truth were told, Dawn was no ordinary girl. Much like her sister was no ordinary woman. These two shared more than blood. A destiny handed to them from the powers that be. A bond in time and space that no other pair of siblings had in common. They were the true glorious, glowing, mystical warriors. In the heart of it, they were old spirits drawn together for a greater good and higher purpose. Dawn was not just the key given to the Slayer to protect, but a fighting companion, a compliment made from her being. To stand by her side and fight the good fight until their days were done.

Buffy knew Dawn's appearance and her mention of Spike could lead to nothing but trouble between Xander and her. He had been through enough. Hell, they all had. It was time for him to leave and time for her to get to bed. It had been a long week after the fall out from Willow, exacting revenge on Tara's killer. It would continue to be a long haul back to normalcy. Buffy's watcher Giles had returned with Willow to the coven. Kind of a dark magic rehab. They were not sure if or when their best friend Willow would return. Killing a man changes you deeply and irreversibly. She needed to convince herself that her best friend would return.

She kissed Xander on the cheek. Hugged him and they said their good nights.
"I'll stop by tomorrow, Buff, get some rest."

"You too Xander." Shaking her finger at him knowing all too well where he was headed and calling out to him as he walked across her lawn in to the cover of night, " and stay away from the Magic box! Anya and Halfrek have their hands full with the place!"

She shook her head. Willow and Giles sure did a number there during their magical showdown last week. Who knew Willow had it in her to turn so kick ass evil? Thank God for Xander. Ever constant in his affection, he drew her back from the edge. Through everything there he was fighting along side them in good times and bad. Making sure things never went too long without some lame attempt at making a joke. Most of the time at his own expense.

As Buffy ascended the stair case in the home she shared with both the living and ghosts of those loved and lost, she passed through the hall stopping by what used to be her Mom's room then Tara and Willow's. Now it stands empty. Hollow of the warmth security and joy it once contained. God she missed Tara... and Willow. Buffy turned into her room prepared for bed and flopped down for a well deserved rest. With a sigh and a flip she was off in a hard slumber.

The darkness deepened and the stars shone like diamonds in the blackness. Xander drove home through the empty downtown Sunnydale hoping to catch a glimpse of Anya through the Magic Box shop window. Buffy's last words echoed in his mind. "...have their hands full with that place" . His thoughts wandered to Anya. How could he have ever been such a fool to leave her at the altar? Love is all about taking chances and now his one chance with her was lost forever due to his stupidity and fear. He slowed the car as he passed the newly replaced large glass window of the shop. Xander could make out Halfrek, Anya's new partner in business and vengeance. The two demons were stocking the freshly painted shelves with boxes and books replacing those destroyed by the ultimate showdown. Buffy Giles and Willow tore that place to shreds yet in a matter of 2 weeks Anya and Halfrek worked tirelessly to put order back where chaos has reigned. Well never let it be said Anya would let a little thing like a cataclysmic end of the earth duel delay her capitalism. Obviously Halfrek shared her zeal for retail because the pair made amazing strides at revamping a whole new look and aura to the store, heavy on the revenge, vengeance and love potion section. Big surprise there he thought. Xander drove on towards his home and felt a great sense of loss as Anya's image faded from view.

"Maybe in some other life time my love I will get it right," he muttered to himself.

He headed back to his empty disheveled apartment where he was determined this week to clean up his place and start fresh on his new life. After Anya. He made that promise to himself night after night but with the break of dawn each day he would wake in his empty bed and look to the cold pillow that lay next to his. The yet again the sense of loss would flood back and all hope of recovery would vanish from his resolve. He figured one of these days the pillow will finally inspire no such thought and with his repeated nightly mantra he may just convince himself that there could be life, after her. He climbed into his bed looked at the ghost of her shape in the covers and sighed. Turned over and tried to sleep.

As the dawn appeared on the horizon Clem prepared to leave William's crypt.

"You sure your gonna be all right? I could stay 'til dusk. If you want me to?"

"Thanks Chum. Can you take the couch? I think I am going to get some rest downstairs and start fresh tonight. I have to work things out before I can face the world. You will PLEASE keep my reappearance to yourself, okay?"

"Hey consider me mute on that subject. Not a word. "

With that William headed down to the depths of what he called home. He climbed into his "remodeled" bedroom. Shaking his head, "What the hell was I thinking with this ode to Elvis jungle theme"? Obviously his vampiric self did not share his same decorating sense. The new bed looked comfy enough and the sheets were soft and inviting. As he disrobed he realized all the external evidence of his struggle with the powers that be in the desert had vanished. No cuts bruises to show for his tender insides. As he fell onto the bed and pulled the covers about him, he wrestled with his thoughts of her. "How can I get this to work? Is there any hope of us? Can she see through my exterior and find the man lurking inside this demon? Will she ever be truly mine?" Finally after much tossing and turning as the sun came to full strength outside he surrendered to a deep and much needed sleep.
Part 5 : Discovery

William had tried hard to keep a low profile that first week after his return but found it was harder keeping Clem's mouth shut. A heart of gold was in that floppy baggy skinned guy but he had the biggest mouth in the demon world. At times it was something like the grand canyon. He knew timing was everything now and it was critical that he wait for the right moment. He rarely left his crypt only for occasional trips to the blood bank, butchers and to Willie's Demon bar for a hand of kitten/cash poker just to help clear the cobwebs from his brain.

On his rare outings, he would sense Buffy and Dawn on patrol and hide in the shadows and watch their unsuspecting figures walk side by side and chat about school, classes, friends, clothes, movies and boys unaware of his presence. It was moments like those which haunted his thoughts dreams and desires. He wished to be at her side protecting her from hidden evils fighting off demons that lurk. Walking home with her safe and her soft strong hand in his. He would be her companion he would somehow make her his. He had to or at least die trying.

He headed up stairs after dressing in his dark blue turtle neck and black jeans. He felt somehow his wardrobe would need a little work after all this was said and done. Going to the fridge, opening the door and realizing he was down to his last pint of blood.
"Damn it all!" Clem had promised to pick some up on his way back from the video store. "That guy has a sieve for a brain some days."
Grabbing his black wool jacket he slowly opened the door to his crypt and quickly and stealthily crept out into the night. He felt in his breast pocket for his smokes as he walked cautiously through the cemetery. Stopping by an enormous sycamore tree he leaned against it while he lit his cigarette. He knew he should quit, but really, why? This seemed like one habit Spike had left with him. He did not even mind it that much. It did give him a reason to breathe after all and this somehow made him feel more like a mortal man. As he drew the smoke in he heard familiar voices in the distance. "Damn! Buffy and Dawn." snubbing the cig into the tree he leaped to a high full branch for cover and decided to wait it out until they were gone. He really had no other choice now. He crouched down as low as he could and became amazingly still only his steely blue eyes moved watching them walk side by side through the graveyard stakes in hand and pockets.

As the passed directly under his hide out a million thoughts ran through his head. "What if they see me? What will I say? Why did I wear this?" and most importantly, "God why did Clem have to forget my fucking dinner. I am really going to kill him for this!"

They preceded past his "safe" hide out until Dawn stopped about 10 feet from the base of the tree. Dawn stood motionless looked directly up at the large sycamore, tilted her head and stared hard. William thought he felt a flash of discovery from Dawn as her eyes focused right on his hiding place. It was enough to stop his heart if in fact it had been beating. He felt a shiver through him and a cold sweat began to form on his brow.

"Dawn, Dawn, What is it?" Buffy walked beside her searching the darkness for the fiend that waited to attack.
"Nothing... I think." pausing to shake the feeling, "I don't know I just felt like we are being watched. Not stalked just watched. It's so weird. Can't you feel that?"

Buffy stood still taking in her surrounding. Chest rising and falling with each breath she used all her senses to feel for her foe.

"Nope, Just the same vibes here. Come on." Nudging Dawn with her elbow. "Let's just chalk this up to nerves and inexperience. Hey wait ... have you been watching those 'Scream' films again, Dawn? I told you those will give you the creeps for weeks. Let's finish this up. You have school tomorrow and I need to call Giles to check on Willow's progress."

Buffy grabbed Dawn by the arm and walked her towards the exit gates. William felt an amazing sense of relief as they walked away. Wiping the cold sweat from his brow as they disappeared from view. He stayed in the tree for a good 15 minutes until the alternate sense of panic and relief had finished washing over him. Jumping down from the branch he realized just how close he came to being discovered. "I have got to be more careful. I swear Clem is one dead demon".

He walked to the slaughterhouse near the outskirts of town and fetched his dinner. Passing streets lined with the homes of the living and unconscious, somehow even though he was dead, he felt more alive that he had in his own real life 100 years ago. He rounded the empty streets and headed home again. The whole walk had cleared his head. It felt good to get out.. He remembered the cobblestone streets of his youth and thought of the long strolls he had taken a century ago. The poet. The dreamer. The loser. As he entered the gates of the graveyard, puffing on his smoke, he could feel the soft, cool night air caress his face. He loved the sensation of the night on his marble skin. It made the small hairs rise on his arms and neck. He closed his blue eyes and slowed under the sanctuary of the tree to feel the night a bit longer. Pulling in the scent of the night he realized he was being watched, ironically from the very same branch he had hidden not an hour earlier. He smelled her her scent. It was unmistakable . The blonde young figure of the girl came flying out of the branch stake drawn aimed right at his chest.

William, with reflexes of the undead, jumped to the side and allowed her to fall in a heap to the ground. Her blonde hair falling down. She jumped to her feet stake drawn above her head and flipping her hair away from her eyes shrieked, "SPIKE!"
"DAWN!" Amazed and somewhat stunned he backed away from the young girl, shielding his eyes from hers.

"Your back? When did you get back into town? Does Buffy know your back?"

"Dear God lil' bit give a fellow a fright don't you. Look at you all grown up patrolling all puffed up and scary. " trying to sound as casual as he could, "I returned about a week ago."

"Why didn't come and check on us? Let us know you were back."

"Look after the last time your big sis' and I 'talked' things kinda got out of hand. I thought it would be better if I just laid low for awhile. You know more like a century or more until she could forgive me."

"What happened Spike? Did you really mean to hurt her?"

Moving closer to Dawn and gently removing some leaves tangled in her hair he locked his eyes on hers and said, "Dawn it was never MY intention to hurt your sister. I needed her to listen understand. I was a desperate demon with little less to lose and was out of my mind with grief of losing her forever. Things got out of hand and I hurt her. God Lil' bit I am so sorry I can barely forgive myself for it. I can only hope someday she can understand."

Dawn gazed deep into Spikes eyes and felt the sincerity and warmth behind his gaze. She knew somehow she shouldn't but she believed him. Maybe Xander was right there was some kind of genetic flaw that she carried deep in her being for him. Dawn knew that Spike really felt guilty for his hurting Buffy and was truly sorry and repentant for his actions. This man that stood before her meant what he said from the depth of his soul.

"I believe you Spike". Dawn turned away from his gaze, feeling as though she had been burnt by his eyes. Like they had penetrated deep within her, creating a sensation that unnerved the young girl.

"Why were in that tree anyway lil' bit? I mean shouldn't you be home all tucked safely in your bed away from the nasties of the night? Isn't Buffy going to be pissed that you are out here again."

Dawn turned quickly to face Spike who had focused his eyes up at the tree branch that had been her launching pad. Shaking her finger at him and smiling she chided him, "Again? ... God, Spike I knew it was you in that tree earlier. I just knew it! I could feel somebody or something there. That' s why I snuck out to see if my instincts were real or if it was the movies giving me the willies." Dawn seemed gleeful at her discovery. "See I do share a few of the slayer gifts."

"That's just grand Dawn. Now hadn't you rather run along to your home sweet home?"

Dawn crushed somehow by his dismissive words, "All right but just wait until Buffy hears about this. I mean she was all this is...just nerves and inexperience and then she was all like movies oh way to..."

Grabbing the beautiful girl by the shoulders he caught her eyes with a stern gaze. "Dawn!, Buffy cannot know that I am back." He felt uneasy as aquamarine eyes stared right into his soul. Immediately he looked away to hide the fear that somehow she would uncover his secret and spill all knowledge to Buffy without a moments hesitation.

"Why Spike? I mean you have to explain all this to her. You can't leave us now after everything. Not after everything. I can't bear to lose anymore!"

That statement held so much meaning. Six little words. In her short existence she has gone from mystical entity, a key to dimensions, to bag of hormones, a child of divorce, and for a time, an orphan. She has lost friends and loved ones to horrible deaths both human and magical. Any other young woman with her background would be on several medications and housed in a mental institution for several years before recovery. This young woman had resiliency. Sure she had been a whiner and a real brat at times but hell she is lucky to not have been all heroin addict or a "natural born killer". Either of these options could have realistically been a possibility for her. For all that Dawn has been through she has emerged as a reasonably ration being.

"Fine, for now, but promise me you will not tell Buffy. PROMISE ME!".

"I promise," she softly replied.

"Come on let's get you home. I will walk you as far as your street."

"Okay," linking one arm under his and swinging her stake in the other she gazed up at him and hugged his arm into her body, "I really missed you Spike. You make me feel safe."

William smiled to himself. The thought of him, miserable, weak, a no good loser now someone who inspired security. He felt warmed from her embrace and looked at this young woman. She may have been the first person who really cared for him, monster or man. Maybe there was a purpose to his existence maybe Mother had just neglected to see the wealth that lie within his heart and imagination. Listening to the silence of the night accompanied by the steps of their feet in unison, he thought to himself, "See me now Mother it took a soulless demon to show your boy the real way to goodness". Could she even hear him in hell?

Part 6: Reunion

William awoke to the sound of doves cooing the arrival of dusk. My kind of like roosters he thought. He had to get going today if he was to accomplish a few errands before Clem was to return for their evening marathon of poker and movies. He headed out under the dusk sky using the sewers through Sunnydale for the magic box. He had run out of burba weed and the blood from the butcher was just so flat and tasteless. Slowly coming into the basement of the magic box he could hear a voice singing to the radio upstairs. He decided this time he would actually pay Anya for his purchase. He entered the store and saw Anya,trying to maneuver a glass top into position on the newly installed counter. The whole store smelled of fresh paint and clean wood.

"Let me help with that Anya." William grabbed end of the glass insert and helped her gently guide the large heavy object into place. With the task quickly accomplished he dusted his hands off and smiled at Anya saying, "Thought I could purchase a bit of the burba weed early before the grand opening."

Anya looked up at Spike and eyed him with suspicion, "Thanks."

Anya stared hard at William, "Oh my god! Spike! Is that goodness and morality I smell on you? How did you get that soul?"

Uncomfortable with his new self he quickly replied, "Always straight to the point aren't you? Please Anya just the burba weed and no questions." He grabbed Anya's hand and looked pleading into her eyes. She could sense his anguish and knew all too well how far you would go for someone you loved.

She softly hugged William letting her cheek rest lovingly next to his and whispered in his ear. "Fine. Are you okay?" Stepping back from him and stroking his face she meet his eyes smiling, "You really did walk through fire for her. I just hope she appreciates you."

Grabbing her hand in his and placing his lips on her delicate limb, "You are a woman with a fine heart. I just am holding out hope she can forgive me. Always the fool for love."

"Come on William let me get you that burba weed on the house." taking his hand in hers, they walked to the back store/training room. Packaging up his goods and handing them to him, "Are you sure I cannot get you anything else aside from JD? of course."

Smiling back at her "Of course". Mentioning in passing, "So I heard from Clem things got amazingly out of hand while I was away." They sat in the back discussing the events that took place while he was off getting his spiritual makeover. Anya told William all about going into business with Hali and fighting with the insurance agents. She was certain, there was a whole new and untapped market for vengeance. Those people where more heartless than most demons she knew. William listened and they chatted for over an hour. The two demons sat huddled in conversation oblivious to the fact that they were being watched.

On the street outside the Magic box sitting in a car under a darkened street light Xander saw everything he needed to see. The sight of the two of them made his blood boil with hatred for Spike. He saw her embrace his filth, nuzzle his neck, and grab his hand. The sight of his evil vile lips touching her hand, the same hand upon which he had placed an engagement ring. The thought of the two of them in the back almost made him physically ill. It was more than he could stand. He was sure that they were not just talking back there and he could no longer contain himself. He reached for the stake in the glove box for emergencies. This was it! It was going to end now! He would clear the town of this despicable creature once and for all.

He climbed out of his car and slammed the door. Walked straight the into magic box and headed back for the training room. William and Anya heard the bell ring on the front door and rose from the green leather sofa where they had been seated engrossed in conversation. As William got to his feet he saw Xander Harris heading stake held high in the air aimed directly at his chest. William stepped to meet his blow with a full force outside block to Xander's forearm near his wrist. The blow knocked the stake right from his hand, sending it bouncing and clanging onto the concrete floor.
"Xander! What the hell do you think you are doing?" Anya screamed at him.

Without looking at her and directly facing the demon, he yelled back as he threw a cross punch right at Spike's face, "finally riding the world of this scum."

William anticipated Xander's punch and bobbed and weaved to the left. Along with that move of avoidance he followed through with an upper cut with his right fist making enough contact to send Xander back landing on his ass.

"Harris! God man WHAT is your bleeding problem? We were talking. I don't want to hurt you."

Stunned and rubbing his bleeding jaw, "Christ! Your head it doesn't hurt! You got the chip out! You can hurt me!" With that Xander lunged at the demon harder this time with a fallen and broken axe handle he had fallen on.

"Stop it Harris or I really am going to have to hurt you." Spike narrowly avoided the handle coming down on his skull. He swept with his left foot and sent him once more to the floor. This time landing on the side of his face skidding on the concrete.
Anya screamed in the background "Xander stop it you fool! He is just trying to defend himself."

"Oh great defend your new boyfriend! Whore!"

That was the last straw for William. Walking over to Xander picking him high above his head with powerful vampiric fists. Piercing him with steel blue eyes he lowered Xander inches from his own gaze, "Don't you ever insult a fine woman in front of me again, you idiotic self centered stubborn git! You do not deserve a heart like hers." He effortlessly straightened his arms and threw Xander back against the wall knocking him unconscious.

He looked over at the stunned and astonished Anya. "I am truly sorry about that. He will have quite a headache a bit later. I just could not stand here and have him talk about you in such a manner. I meant what I said, he does not deserve you." With that William grabbed his package and headed out the door. His cover now most certainly blown, he had little to do but wait for Buffy to come and get him.

When Xander woke with one hell of a headache. He found had been placed on the green sofa in the training room. He focused on her cold face staring at him with hatred in her eyes.

"Honestly Xander you are such a hurtful moron sometimes. Get over it, move on and leave me alone!" She threw a small hand towel at his face and hollered, "Now that your awake get your sorry ass out of my shop and MY life!".

Xander rose gingerly walking sheepishly out the door to his car. "I think Spike might have broken a rib". That thought made panic rise in his heart. "The chip! Oh shit! I've gotta tell Buffy."

Part 7: Revelations

In the sunny yellow kitchen lit by the illumination of the overhead ceiling fan Dawn sat at the tile kitchen island watching her sister clean the dishes from supper. She had been thinking all day at school about her encounter with Spike last night. Something about him seemed different. He seemed less confused, more sincere and honest about everything. Sensing a goodness in him that had been there faintly before but now there was a genuine tenderness in his gaze. A chill ran through her when she remembered his eyes, penetrating, blue, warm and beseeching. Trying to clear her thoughts she focused on Buffy leaning at the at the sink scrubbing the dirty pans. Hopping off the stool and grabbing a towel she took her place next to her sister and began drying the clean pots.

"Are we going patrolling tonight?" Part of her hoping to come along and run into Spike again. She wanted him back in her life. Their life.

"No Dawn I need to do this fast. I have three job interviews tomorrow. How about tomorrow night? " After leaving her position at the fast food restaurant Doublemeat Palace Buffy set her sights higher and began taking courses for an associates degree. Just a professional development course on Saturday afternoon and one accounting course on Wednesday nights. At least it was a start, anything had to be better than that crummy job.

Needing to cleanse herself of this restlessness she pleaded with her sister, "Okay but, can I go over the magic box? I promised Anya I would help her with some restocking to pay off some... previous debts".

Buffy looked at Dawn knowing all too well she was paying Anya for her kleptomania phase she had a year ago, a desperate plea for attention. She knew she was partly responsible for her sister's behavior. If she had not been such a narcissist she could have seen her pain and responded. Feeling significantly burdened by Dawn's successful guilt trip she replied, "Sure but don't be back to late all right? Home by 10:30 at the latest."

Dropping her towel she hugged Buffy's waist, "Thanks I will be home early. Anya get's tired of my company after about 2 hours anyway". She exited the kitchen grabbing the keys to the house and her new moped, a gift from their absent father for her sixteenth birthday, and out to the driveway. After placing her helmet on and starting the scooter, she backed out of the driveway and sped downtown. Buffy watched through the sink window at her sister and was pleased to see her taking a more responsible approach to life. Looking to her right she discovered the stack of undried pots Dawn had left in her wake. Shaking her head with a sigh of disgust, "Well maybe some things will never change".

While she was placing the last remnants of the of clean dishes in the cabinets, she heard her front door swing open.
A panicked and hardly recognizable voice screamed her name at the bottom of the stairs. "Buffy!... Buffy!"
Wiping her hands on her jeans she entered the hallway calling , "Xander is that you?"
Meeting the bruised and bloody figure in her home. She recognized the face through the dried blood and swollen features. "Christ Xander what the hell happened to you? "
One succinct word was all it took to bring forth a tsunami of emotions. "Spike".

"He did this?, How? "

"Yes, I guess your ex is now chip free."

"Oh my God. Dawn. She is out there. I have to go after him. Xander you stay here. I have to see what is going on here. Don't move! I am not losing anyone else from this house." Grabbing her stake she headed out the door running into the night for the cemetery. She knew it might come down to this. She dreaded what she knew must be the final outcome for the two hell crossed ex-lovers. Had their last encounter lead him to this path? Had he been so maddened by lost love that he would do something this drastic. "Oh shit! of course he would! Who am I kidding? The last time he was crushed by a love he meet Drusilla and was made into a vampire!" He was always doing these highly unpredictable wild card actions. She ran harder and faster to her final destination. She only hoped that it was not too late.

Dawn, after leaving her house, arrived at the Magic box within a matter of minutes. She parked the scooter on the sidewalk by the front door and walked into the place. She saw Anya working hard on the incense and aroma therapy section. This had been a big seller for the last couple of years for all those lost souls trying to reconnect with some false sense of spirituality, as if you could find that in a scent. Dawn did love the way a few of those sticks of incense smelled but really thought most of it was more similar to sickly sweet burnt rubber.

"Hey Anya, reporting for duty. What do you want me to do next?"

As Anya turned to face her slave labor, Dawn could see the tear stained checks and knew that from her red puffy eyes that something bad had happened. This look she was wearing had to be Xander's handy work.

"Oh Anya what did he do now?"

"Oh Dawnie, men can be so horrible at times and all heroic at the next." She started to ramble and spill her thoughts as if she was Proust in "Memories of things past" . "I mean we were just talking and who is Xander to come down on us being all possessive? What am I some piece of his property? I mean I ask you did he own me? He was the one that stopped loving me. He was the one who left me at the altar! Who is he that he should care, WHO or WHAT I sleep with? He obviously did not care the day of our marriage. He was the one that decided all on his own that it was all too complicated and then he come in all guns blazing and tried to dust him. I mean the guy was just defending himself and then William just stepped in and defended my honor and..."

Interrupting the narrative from Anya, "William? ... your honor? ... you mean Spike?... Wait a minute... Oh Anya I knew it, I mean I sensed it. Spike is not just Spike anymore is he? ... IS HE? ... I saw it in his eyes. He got a soul for her didn't he?"

Anya realizing her diatribe just had spilled out the secret she promised to hold. She lamely answered, "Yes Dawn."

"Did Xander go to Buffy about this?"

"I'm sure that is the first place he went I mean isn't that where he always goes. Right? to his precious Buffy?"

"Oh God! Spike! She'll kill him for this. Anya I have got to save him. He will not fight her. He' s dust". Realizing the urgency of the moment, Dawn ran from the room hopped on to the scooter and headed straight for the cemetery. She only hoped that it was not too late.

part 8: The showdown.

William walked through the cemetery after his confrontation at the Magic box, trying to quell the sour taste of violence that rose in his throat after attacking Xander. He wondered why the guy hated him so? He slowed reading the gravestones, names and dates of his contemporaries. These objects of the past had held no special fascination with for him on previous travels through here but tonight they seemed to all be screaming at him. "You should have been dead 100 years ago! Who are you to still be walking this earth? What is your purpose? Are you really going to make any difference with your reappearance?" Part of him longed to be buried deep in the ground resting in the abyss alongside them but another larger piece of him told him he was here for a reason. He took refuge on a stone bench under the shadows of a family crypt. Reaching in his jacket pocket for his cigarettes he mindlessly lit one and pulled hard drawing the smoke deep. Exhaling the gray clouds slowly as he looked out at the dew laden grass. The quartz crystals in the stone markers for lost loved ones sparkled like tiny flecks of diamonds in the moon light. This place of death did have some eerie luminescent beauty at night. As he drew in another long drag the red glow of the cigarette highlighted his cold marble features. His clear blue eyes piercing the darkness detecting a distant figure approaching him. The quiet and peaceful stillness of this consecrated ground was a about to be shattered by her appearance. A mixture of fear anxiety and excitement surged through him. Buffy. The speed at which she approached made him certain that she knew he was back and waiting for her. She must sense now that I am worthy. How could she not feel it? I do deserve this. Hope sprang in his still heart. He rose to greet her with open arms. A faint smile appeared on his face as she stood in front of him staring him directly in the eyes.

"So your back and I hear chip free. You know what this means don't you Spike?"

Pleading and walking towards her his hands and arms open. "Buffy, Please let me ex..."

Cutting him off in mid sentence, "To dust your sorry excuse for an existence from this place without guilt." She punched him hard in the face sending him flying. Tripping backwards over the stone bench he somersaulted and landed flat on the moist wet earth.

"Buffy, Please wait."

"Get up and fight me. Show me what your made of Spike." Walking over him and grabbing him by the collar of his jacket pulling him to his feet. "Come on isn't this what you always wanted? Let's dance shall we?"

He made no effort to defend himself. She knocked him hard as she punched and pushed with her hands on his chest. "Why could she not sense him? What was missing from this picture?"
She threw blows at his face, chest and stomach. A flurry of emotion raged with every punch she threw. Aside from dogging an occasional blow he watched her pummel him in astonishment. Almost as if he was an observer not a participant. With each blow he glared at her hoping that she would see him, William, in his eyes and stop. He did not raise a fist or block a blow. He felt somehow this must be a punishment for his past offenses. As each blow bruised and bloodied his dead body a new revelation came into view. What he had felt for Buffy in the past was not love but an obsession. Coming from the dark recesses of his demon self. A selfish controlling consuming death type of love. He craved her misery. Sought refuge in her pain easing his own. The demon could no longer feed on her flesh but it could feed on her weakness. It was all too crystal clear now, what he drew from Buffy was not a comfort love strong and true but a destructive love. In away his obsession was killing her one touch, one caresses, one embrace, one kiss at a time. It might have not drained her life blood but her life's spirit. The chip never stopped the demon from delivering a kiss of death to the slayer. His demon nature just found a whole new way to attack her through love and obsession. Something the chip could not detect and prevent.

Now with his soul restored he finally understood her biting brutal comments, "There is nothing good or clean inside you. You don't have a soul. I could never be your girl." These revelations made his consuming feeling of obsessive passion more empty than when he really was just a hollow shell of a demon. His body recoiled with each blow. He knew this would be his end. He would not fight her. He was not meant as her companion. He would always be a shadow in her life something that was always somehow beneath her. She could not feel him. Or for him. Straddling the battered demon she raised her stake above his heart. Glaring directly at his cold blue eyes, "You are never going to hurt me or anyone else again Spike!" Just as she was about to lower the final dusty blow to her nemesis, an unmistakable screech came from the side.

"BUFFY! NO!" Diving at her sister, Dawn shielded William with her own body and knocked Buffy off him with all her weight and strength.

"Dawn! Get away!" Trying to tear Dawn off the badly beaten wounded demon.

Scooping William in her arms and shielding him from his attacker, "No Buffy you don't understand".

Grabbing at her sister's arms trying to release the grip of desperation, "He is a killer! The chip is out".

Dawn cradled William's battered shoulders in her lap. Holding his head in his arms in a motherly fashion, "I know! But he won't hurt me! I know it! I feel it! Look at him. Buffy! Really look at him. Can't you see it? Are you blind?"

Buffy regarded the figure of this creature nestled in her sisters arms. Searching in his eyes from some glimmer of recognition.

Watching her sister struggle, she finally hollered at her, "He has a soul Buffy! This is not Spike your trying to kill this is William".

Gasping and peering into his eyes she could now see a slight difference and realized this had been her final act of betrayal for him. He had given up hope for their love. The slayer had hurt him in the past beaten his body and crushed his love. But this time she had pulverized the man. She had torn the fabric of the soul. He could learn to forgive her but realized in her heart that he would never forget or love her the same way again.

Dropping the stake and falling to her knees. "Oh my God William! How? I am so sorry".

William stared at what was before him the fine featured young brave girl, lil' bit, cradling him in her soft arms and her equally beautiful and courageous sister on her knees before him. Begging him for forgiveness. The scene was all too surreal for words. This is not the way he had imagined it would play out. The air hung with an uneasy quiet and stillness. Almost as if their worlds had irrevocably changed.

Dawn brushed the blood from William's mouth and helped him to his feet. Looking into Dawn's innocent aquamarine eyes he smiled at her sweet kind face and a sense of tenderness filled his soul. Walking over to Buffy offering his hand in a truly gentlemanly fashion he helped her to her feet. "I probably deserved a bit of the beating for Xander and past offenses. We could try and be civil to one and other from now on couldn't we? I mean before you go and get all defensive and started wielding sharp wooden objects at my chest? " He raised one of his sore cheeks in a sincere and painful smirk.

Ashamed, Buffy softly said, "I really am sorry for this William".

William offering a gallant out for everyone, "Look its been a long night and it isn't even 1:00 am yet. Can we discuss everything later? I think we have had enough. Don't you?". The uncomfortableness of the whole situation was almost more than the three could bear.

Brushing the dirt off Buffy responded, "Well I better be getting back to Xander and try to calm him. This might need a bit of explaining."

Trying not to sound too resentful William uncomfortably agreed, "Yes you probably better do that."

"Buffy, I am going to make sure William gets back home, OKAY?"

Looking at Dawn and knowing all too well there was no negotiation about this, "Fine".

As Buffy disappeared from sight, Dawn gazed up at William and placed her hand in his. Walking at her side filled his cold body with a warmth he had never known. He felt comforted in this manifestation of purpose, to protect and love the beautiful woman at his side. She sensed him. She knew him. He understood she was incredibly young but hell he had all eternity to be there. To grow, protect and quietly, patiently love her. She would be his sunlight. H-is own Dawn.