Buffy: *pull* It’ll fit.
Xander: Ah, man, what if it doesn't? What if I can't wear my cummerbund, and then the whole world can see the place where my pants meet my shirt! Buffy, that cannot happen. I must wear das cummerbund!
Buffy: I’m telling you, it’ll fit !
Xander: Yes, I bet you say that to Spike all the time… *snicker*
Buffy: *STRETCH*
Xander: Oof!

Dawn: Spike!
Spike: Oh, Dawn… uh… this is my date… for the wedding…
Dawn: Um… yeah. Did you kill Cindy Lauper and turn her into a vampire?
Date: Well, it does give a whole new twist to the whole "Girls just wanna have fun" act.
Dawn: I’m sure it does.

Old Guy: It sounds crazy, I know, but you have to believe me. I'm Xander Harris. I'm you.
Xander: You’re me? Geez, talk about owing it all to Geritol!
Old Guy: And she’s marrying you? God, maybe she’s the one I should be showing this future to.

Anya (on phone): OK, one last time. I, Anya, promise to cherish you. Eww, no. Not cherish. I promise to have sex with you whenever *I* want…
Faith: And don’t forget the leather.
Anya: Leather. Check.
Xander: *Gulp*
Old Man: See what I mean?

Mr. Harris: What do you say we slip in the back room and I show you my...
Buffy: You finish that sentence, and I guarantee you won't have anything to show.
Mr. Harris: … my special-edition Harris Men Swimsuit Calendar.
Buffy: *WHACK*

Spike: Um… Did you meet my date?
Buffy: Spike, if you wanted someone really gothic, couldn’t you just date a crypt or something?

Buffy: Yeah, you know, he's not just a minister, he's also a doctor. You know, he's half minister, half doctor. He's a... minitor. Not, of course, to be confused with a minotaur, because he's all, you know, man-ness. Doctor minister man. No bull parts whatsoever.
Tara : Lucky he’s not a Catholic priest, cause y’know, he’d have the bull parts, but only for decorative purposes.
Dawn: And here I thought I was the comic relief on this show.

Buffy: *Juggle juggle juggle*
Guests: *Flip flip flip* *Whisper whisper*
Buffy: Ahem… Look, guys, I’m juggling! *juggle juggle*
Guests: *Flip flip whisper whisper*
Dawn: Um, Buffy… nobody’s paying attention.
Buffy: *Juggle juggle* Why?
Dawn: Cousin Carol went to get a few copies of the Harris Men Swimsuit Calendar.
Buffy: WHAT??? I think it’s time we set a demon loose on this crowd.

Demon: Don’t you remember me? 1912?
Anya: Umm…
Demon: The Titanic?
Anya: Jack??? Is that you???
Demon: About time you recognized me, Rose.
Anya: But, but, but…
James Cameron: OK, I’m SO suing you guys for copyright.
Xander: Clem, could you pass the popcorn?
Cousin Carol: Talk about a sinking wedding.

Xander: I’m sorry, Ahn. I just… I just don’t want to end up like my dad!
Anya: You mean, in a swimsuit calendar? Cause that would be cool.
Xander: Uhuh. I’ll be leaving now.