Loan director: Well, financially, it seems we have a bit of a tangle. The only asset is your house, which was never fully leveraged, and refinancing is out of the question…
Buffy: Huh? I don’t understand that language. How about we switch to Xander’s Simplified English?
Loan director: What? What’s that?
Buffy: Y’know… otherwise known as "Hooked on demonics"?
Loan director: Works for me. House not paid. Big problem.
Buffy: Fire bad. Loan good.
Loan director: Tree pretty. Buffy have no job. Buffy have no money. Loan, no.
Buffy: Loan no??? Neck breaky, maybe?

Loan director: Monster!!!
Buffy: Wha…? Same to you, buster!
Loan director: Um, behind you…

Buffy: Hey, you! Bank robbing bad. Loan good.
M’Fashnik: Bank breaky. Breaky good. What the hell am I saying??? *WHACK*

Buffy (panting): So, where were we? Oh yeah – monster bad. Loan good.

Willow: OK, let me make you angry again. Ready? Last semester, I slept with Riley…
Buffy: And you know I really doubt it.
Willow: Caught me… big fib. To cover up the sleazy affair I had with Angel.
Buffy: Will? What are you doing?
Willow: Um, pissing you off?
Buffy: Yeah… why?
Willow: (Damn, lucky I didn’t tell her about that threesome with Ben and Glory…)
Buffy: WHAT?
Willow: Well, even a hellgod need more than a brain drain, now and then…
Buffy: *WHACK*

Dawn: That’s a weird place for a horn! … it’s not a horn…
Tara: Well, it gives a whole new meaning to the expression "blow the horn"…
Dawn: I SO did not need to hear that.

Dawn: It’s called a M’Fashnik. I’m guessing like in "Mmmm, cookies".
M’Fashnik: No, actually, it’s like in "Mmmm, Slayers".
Xander: Hmmm… trouble.

Giles: Ah, Willow. Let’s sit down and trade hurtful barbs about your magic. I think it’s getting quite dangerous.
Willow: Can we skip the barbs and go straight to the part where I point my finger at you and go "ZAP"? ‘Cause that’s the part I really like.
Giles: I rest my case.

Buffy: So what do you know about finances?
Spike: A lot, actually. You see, if you capture five humans, you drain two and keep a third for a rainy day, then sell the remaining two to another vampire at, say, 120 % value, your net profit is…
Buffy: Hold on a sec, Ferengi vampire. I count my gains in stakes. Let me introduce you to my profits.

Dawn: You ever try mixing every kind of cereal you have?
Giles: Does it work?
Dawn: I don’t know. Wanna join the experiment?
M’Fashnik: Hey, can I join?
Dawn: Hmmm, I don’t know… you look more like the Kibble n’ Bits type.
M’Fashnik: *WHACK*

M’Fashnik: You have cost me, Slayer!!!
Buffy: I’ve cost you? That’s a designer lamp, you mook!
M’Fashnik: I thought you wanted to collect the insurance.
Buffy: On second thought, why don’t you throw me on that wooden balustrade over there?
M’Fashnik: The dark oak one?
Buffy: That’s the one.
M’Fashnik: *Throw* *Smash*
Anya (with calculator): Wooden balustrade, $ 4,000…

M’Fashnik: Ooo, look, a nice, long copper pipe!
Buffy: NO!
M’Fashnik: Aww, but this’ll make a really cool hash pipe!
Buffy: *CLOBBER* *Whack**Whack* *CLOBBER**CLOBBER* Now you’re hash.

Spike: Hey, did you know this place was flooded?
Buffy: Spikey, do you want to help me collect insurance?
Spike: Sure, what can I do?
Buffy: See that big, fancy Chinese vase over there?
Spike: Um, yeah…
Buffy: Go see it close up. *Throw* *SMASH*
Anya (adding up): Hmm, Chinese vase, that makes about $ 1,000…